hewo~! okay, anyways. idk what i'm doing but have fun reading, i guess.
1. recall your most embarrassing memory272Please respect copyright.PENANAL28N9844ky
okay. welp, this is going to be weird to write about. okay, so, i was in 5th grade and i had the audacity to sign up for the talent show. so, i signed up and i went to rehearsal, right? i cried in front everyone at rehearsal. then the next night, we had a night where all the kids in the talent show performed in front everyone's parents. what did i do? i cried. again. then the next day, we peformed again but it was in front of the entire school, including my crush. mind you, i was wearing this ugly dress and i thought i was cute. then we were back in that era where we thought the orange justice dance was the shit. so, muy friend was shy and she was dancing so i went out onto the stage with her and danced sicne for some reason, i knew the entire dance to the entire song..? then my turn came and i had to put the ugly dress on, i went on stage and started to sing rise up by andra day and what did i do, once again? i fucking cried. yep. in front of my crush and everything. life sucks, mate.
2. think about the last time that you laughed until you cried. 272Please respect copyright.PENANAcwRhjCxCGe
that had to be like yesterday. i think i laughed at something bunny said and then started crying because it was so funny. maybe it wasn't yesterday but it was damn near last week or something. eh, idgaf.
3. write a story about what would happen if your day went in reverse. hint: the story would begin when you were in your pajamas and ready for bed.272Please respect copyright.PENANAVuFhbMl13j
*acting like a vlogger on youtube from 2016* hi, guys. so, i'm in bed right now. i can't get back up for a few more hours because of my schedule. *a few hours earlier..?* okay, hi. i'm in the bathroom right now taking my clothes off and using the shower. *after shower* i'm putting my clothes back on now. hold on, ms. shi! i'm getting undressed. --- omfg, i can't do this. it's too weird.
5. what was the best joke that you heard during the last week? what made that joke so funny to you?272Please respect copyright.PENANAXQzaIVRHjw
the funniest joke to me in the past week was said on saturday when we were at barnes & noble. lovely, bunny and i were sitting in the little kids section, reading when out of no where lovely said, 'are you eleven protons because you're sodium fine.' and i stared at her. then i realized what she said and i started cackling.
6. make a list of your favorite puns.272Please respect copyright.PENANAmDZHgGodWe
i might seem lame right now but i don't pay attention to puns...
7. write a movie review about the funniest movie that you have ever seen.272Please respect copyright.PENANAQ6l4aXEl27
*acting like a famous journalist* hello, my name is alex ugliana. today i am going to write a movie review about the movie- i give up. i'm not good at explaining things without spoiling it.
8. pretend that you are going to be performing a stand-up comedy act for your friends and family members. write a draft of what your act might sound like.272Please respect copyright.PENANA8PdqLIgyTj
hehe, okay. *clears throat and gets accent ready* *using "country" accent* hey there, y'all! my name is alex and i'm here tahday tah tell yeh fellers about the trump family! i believe thet man, donald trump, was a good president. and that's not jest becuz i'm caucasian and african amurican. i swear tah yer, he was a good man in my eyes. omfg, i give up. wtf am i writing? *yeets self into dumpster*
9. consider something that you are most scared of, and then write a story about a character encountering that fear. make sure the character has a reaction to their fear that is so exaggerated it becomes funny.272Please respect copyright.PENANAvOqUoPg9eJ
okay, lemme try this. i'm scared of the dark. lemma alone. omg. anyways-- genevieve walked into her home late at night. "i knew i shouldn't have gone to that stupid 'get together'." she groans --bitch wtf--. her house was pitch black. she couldn't see anything as she took off her shoes. she tried to flip on a light switch. it didn't work. she tried over and over again. "holy fuck, did i pay the light bill?" she said --shoulda never sucked dick for free, genevieve. omg, i'm going to hell-- she digs in her pocket for her phone. she turned on the flashlight. she walked through her house, heart beating like crazy, mind running at what could've caused her lights not to work. she walks past the couch and the corner of the couch grazes her thigh. she screams bloody murder. "oh my fucking god!" she screams and runs through her house like a little bitch. she runs into the kitchen counter. "ouch!" she yells. she goes for another light switch. it doesn't work either. she screams even louder. she runs to her room and flips on the light. she breathes a heavy sigh, seeing the darkness disappear from the light. --you know what? i declare gore!-- then a blade stabs into her neck. she gasps and chokes up blood, holding her neck. she bleeds all over her carpets. thoughts are running through her mind. am i dying? eh, i don't care. oh my fucking god! there is blood on my carpets! wait- who stabbed me? she turns around and there is the dark behind her. she falls to the ground and dies. you know, i liked where that went. morbid as fuck but who gives a shit. i liked it. i'm weird. anyways-- NEXT~!
10. how would you describe your own sense of humor?272Please respect copyright.PENANA7NPrQHA77O
i would descibe my sense of humor to be kind of morbid, kind of crazy, not really that funny but somehow funny to other people. i think i'm a crackhead that doesn't do crack....make sense? yeah? okay, bye.
11. write a list of funny excuses that you could use to get out of doing your homework.272Please respect copyright.PENANAylrziOk7kw
okay, bet. number one - so what had happened was, i didn't really know what to do so i gave it to my mom and she got angry with it so she gave it back to me and told me to get the fuck out of her room so i went to the mall and got on the airplane and drove to japan and then i biked to south korea over the sea and i dropped it on my way to south korea. so it's in the ocean between japan and south korea. i mean, feel free to look in the ocean. i hope you don't drown. *silently wishing for them to drown* *smiles all inocently* number two - my pet dragon at it. number three - i got free tickets to a bts concert with backstage tickets and i needed the paper to make a poster for bts. number four - i cried and got it all wet and then my little brother got hungry so i fed my brother my homework for dinner because i was depression and did not feel like cooking. number five - wait- we had homework? oh my god, was that what i used to pick up my unicorn's shit? i'm so sorry! number six - i lost it in zamunda. you don't know what zamunda is? oh my god, it's in africa. what type of social studies teacher are you? what the fuck do you mean, 'why was i in zamunda'? i was studying, idiot. number seven - i was sick and i used the paper as toilet paper. don't ask me what sickness i had, you icky nasty, oh my god! you disgust me. okay, lemme stop.
12. write a funny short story in which the main character is your alter ego/you.272Please respect copyright.PENANAQpI9OyEXZc
funny? mm. i'll see if i can do it. so first here is my ego or aura, whatever. i'm nice, sweet, funny, "pretty", adorable, friendly, sometimes ghetto especially when i'm mad and i seem very social but i really don't like people. so, my alter ego would be someone who absolutely the opposite except for the fact that i'd still be funny and ghetto. story (btw this'll be like when i first moved here so jazzy won't be in this): i walk down the stairs of my new group home. all the heads turn towards me. the staff, bunny, gorgeous and kitkat. they all look at me, wide-eyed. i sigh, heavily and walk towards them, not wanting to get to know them. "hi." gorgeous says. "wassup." i say, sliding my hoodie on. omg, i give up. i can't do this lmao.
13. have you ever tried to use your own sense of humor to impress someone? write about whether or not your jokes worked their magic.272Please respect copyright.PENANAEqbIENkpIh
i mean, yeah, mate. how do you think i have emmi? she likes me because i'm pretty, funny, loud/energetic, and i kind of don't care what people think about me.
14. think about an inside joke that you share with a friend or family member. how did that inside joke come to be? 272Please respect copyright.PENANAshSyOZwDaJ
bet~! me and bunny were just doing it. free real estate. i walked up to her one day and slid my hand down her arm and said that in a weird/seductive way and ever since then, it's been a thing. we were just trying to explain it to her boyfriend, lion. and yesterday, we were watching a movie and the thingy said in a british accent, 'and i'm greedy with the soup.' so now, that's a thing. we have too many inside jokes. i make too many jokes.
~~
i guess i'm doing those question things again. emmi looks sexy today, holy shet. anyways--
~~
full name? - lady leilani waterton of dogde charger.272Please respect copyright.PENANAQunRMFILJt
girl bestie? - coco <3272Please respect copyright.PENANAYS0gYq4rmn
boy bestie? - idek anymore. i need a boy bestie.272Please respect copyright.PENANAsADnZsGsdW
age? - seven years old.272Please respect copyright.PENANAk7W0IiVm4X
last person i texted? - idfk.272Please respect copyright.PENANAl8pMID8EB9
last person i called? - probably my little brother.272Please respect copyright.PENANAF5l8fj0sjq
current crush? - my girlfriend, emmi, tf?272Please respect copyright.PENANAu9BIkY4yH9
random fact? - i like food.272Please respect copyright.PENANAOnH4DLb6th
single or taken? - big, fat taken.272Please respect copyright.PENANAilHlJ9qeQQ
favourite quote? - if it delicious, it's zero calories. said by wwh.272Please respect copyright.PENANA5UvCirkr0T
first kiss? - bitch wtf?272Please respect copyright.PENANAL6pqpHEfB8
ever smoked? - nope.272Please respect copyright.PENANAKFmOMsOFBZ
ever done drugs? - nope~272Please respect copyright.PENANAUrbXCPpVbv
ever been drunk? - i don't drink.272Please respect copyright.PENANAAouMU1bjG8
longest relationship? - five and a half months.272Please respect copyright.PENANAc1Ce9NvTgp
pet peeve? - my little brother. his entire existent. but i still love him.272Please respect copyright.PENANAA3K27I5zoI
eye colour? - brown. my little brother's eyes are really pretty.272Please respect copyright.PENANAOYAgT6K6NH
birthday? - 1930.01.01-- nah, i'm playing but no one needs to know my birthday.272Please respect copyright.PENANAWuar231fAf
obsession? - kpop.272Please respect copyright.PENANAYrmIHEhMJU
do you give second chances? - that depends.272Please respect copyright.PENANA3WkBy83NaM
play any sports? - no, bitch. the hell do i look like?272Please respect copyright.PENANAC3VG4qW1iG
dream job? - kpop idol or just a singer in general.272Please respect copyright.PENANASVJMrbjEwN
day or night? - idk.272Please respect copyright.PENANATS5tg0IQ2F
your idea of a perfec date? - idk.272Please respect copyright.PENANALGXVVVEkfT
sing in the shower? - yes, motherfucker. i throw whole ass concerts in the shower.272Please respect copyright.PENANAamV9rBkFng
favourite colour(s)? - purple and black.272Please respect copyright.PENANAlRVwGg0yZo
any tattoos? - nope. i'm lame.272Please respect copyright.PENANAKMw7v7ipNp
any peircings? - yes, in my ears.272Please respect copyright.PENANAqBF8Bni9A5
favourite movie(s)? - idk.272Please respect copyright.PENANA6pjazIdjHI
current mood? - bored and tired.272Please respect copyright.PENANADXtYLuLYPE
jealous of? - a lot of things.272Please respect copyright.PENANAbMleyE0B8q
place you want to visit? - south korea and cambodia.272Please respect copyright.PENANAUB9cTRgkD9
pets? - two dogs.272Please respect copyright.PENANAv7TwVoR3RA
last song you listened to? - spring day and currently listening to crystal snow and trying not to cry. so far succesful in not crying and the song is ending.272Please respect copyright.PENANAXLa8CPty71
favourite number? - seven.272Please respect copyright.PENANAhYTRdY2TI9
nicknames? - vanilla, alex, suga, steph.272Please respect copyright.PENANAVUQlBZykQw
siblings? - 5 older sisters and 2 brothers.272Please respect copyright.PENANAW7EBa4Usmt
afraid of the dark? - yes.272Please respect copyright.PENANA6RWvgdqbbt
one wish? - to be happy for real.272Please respect copyright.PENANAzcftKgRS31
something you want to do!? - live life. vibe, you know?272Please respect copyright.PENANAvT2jVixm49
~272Please respect copyright.PENANAGfFmZags0x
full name? - mind your fucking business, damn.272Please respect copyright.PENANAsUvZsQrbry
age? - i'm still seven years old.272Please respect copyright.PENANAhLDKTK1gUu
idols? - bts, stray kids, blackpink, kamla harris, etc.272Please respect copyright.PENANArS9B9PQ6wz
something you hate about yourself? - my body.272Please respect copyright.PENANA2cgeWUrQZF
something you like about yourself? - idk.272Please respect copyright.PENANAS9Yla7OoZ9
someone you hate? - jason derulo and donald trump.272Please respect copyright.PENANAlvNd2PcVBF
favourite band? - bts.272Please respect copyright.PENANAr7baiUZzwl
say 'sexy' what do you think of? - that time when stray kids was still nine members and they were roleplaying. felix was a grand father and he has this old man voice and it was still sexy but funny. but that's not it. he said sexy instead of saekshi, i guess and woojin corrected him and felix kept saying saekshi over and over. oh, i also think of bts and just-- agh!272Please respect copyright.PENANACmIbJSCc2K
ever had a boyfriend/girlfriend? - no, of course not.272Please respect copyright.PENANAbCx84uuTdq
where do you want to be right now? - idk. south korea.272Please respect copyright.PENANAbrwIE8AkWK
girl crush? - emmi.272Please respect copyright.PENANAtMlgYzBAQA
boy crush? - bts. plural, bitch.272Please respect copyright.PENANA5h86IHTxBp
an embarrassing memory? - look at this top ^272Please respect copyright.PENANA8QzAyfaVhQ
talents? - singing.272Please respect copyright.PENANAspqaamgu3F
soemone i miss? - my step-mom.272Please respect copyright.PENANAFPw1KRlGSp
someone i love? - emmi.272Please respect copyright.PENANAceTXVJ6RMR
my future goals? - idk. graduate school. succeed in life, i guess.272Please respect copyright.PENANAbePcK5OSWD
a confession? - i am not ninety-one years old.272Please respect copyright.PENANAdPvqqby3DR
something i'm addicted to? - love and affection even though i don't get a lot of them. oh, also, drugs! yeah, no. i'm playing.272Please respect copyright.PENANA29bXrPEMsh
favourite animal? - dogs.272Please respect copyright.PENANAoJDwBig7Gt
favourite tv couples? - weiyoung and touba jun. minde and di. jin-wook and yu-mi. spongebob and sandy. probably more but i don't feel like going through them all. 272Please respect copyright.PENANAHNklCf1WDV
ships? - namjin, jikook, taekook, sope.272Please respect copyright.PENANA559x33rxN1
worst movie you've ever saw? - i don't remember what it was called but it was just terrible. i was so cunfused.272Please respect copyright.PENANATCQdpGO6JI
what's your biggest wish? - to be a singer.272Please respect copyright.PENANAWlwAiSPCKq
bad habits? - hitting people out of affection. being sarcastic.272Please respect copyright.PENANAi2aUkC7HLX
food you hate? - pineapple pizza, school luch fried chicken because that chicken be fake and disgusting. caviar. 272Please respect copyright.PENANArMlaR4BEca
hair colour? - brown. i'm ugly as fuck so when i say i feel sexy, ignore that shit.272Please respect copyright.PENANAs7jaopmxX7
favourite kind of ice cream? - cookies & cream and chocolate.272Please respect copyright.PENANAS1bfpMohOU
~272Please respect copyright.PENANAbKpArkCac7
gender? - oppa attack helicopter and/or female.272Please respect copyright.PENANAxL1rQZyOiX
country? - i don't live on earth. 272Please respect copyright.PENANAgi9SxYHnWC
languages you speak? - lunarian, trigedasleng, english, tiny korean, sorta french, kinda spanish.272Please respect copyright.PENANAGJgZBdSNRN
last lie you told? - that i'm pretty.272Please respect copyright.PENANA5mxtkuma5v
favourite subject in school? - english language arts.272Please respect copyright.PENANAjch6No1N8h
most expensive item you own? - a pair of vans.272Please respect copyright.PENANAxQZyKuOEam
country with your favourite accent? - australia.272Please respect copyright.PENANA3mg6Ena9BF
do you have any children? - i was about to answer like, bitch wtf, no. but i do. li minde, touba jun, touba yu, cheng de, li weiyoung, jun tao, bai zhi, jungkook, jennie, lisa, ni-ki, all of txt, jasper from the 100, etc. i have a lot of kids.272Please respect copyright.PENANA6PXjvxHwGd
dog or cat person? - both.272Please respect copyright.PENANAMWfyZGY23p
first kiss? if so, what age? - yes. thirteen years old.272Please respect copyright.PENANA791W3klh4s
do you live in a house or apartment? - nosy, i declare. i live in a house. damn.272Please respect copyright.PENANAE57lMsgyIw
do you belive in God? - idk.272Please respect copyright.PENANAUa58p6spRX
single or taken? - taken.272Please respect copyright.PENANAM8b0AGnhzy
favourite body part of the opposite gender? - well, damn. heh heh. nah, perverts. torso and hands, omg. *dies*272Please respect copyright.PENANAekjqf0Jljr
birthday year? - 1930.272Please respect copyright.PENANATXvtsl5CwC
celebrity crush? - holy fuck, dude. i have a lot.272Please respect copyright.PENANA28WT2rkaw6
age? - what's that?272Please respect copyright.PENANAto8vwZjUpa
enthinicity? - african american.272Please respect copyright.PENANAj1LpP3wLvr
tea or coffee? - neither.272Please respect copyright.PENANArQM0ZPOCv8
random skill you have? - i can make people smile.272Please respect copyright.PENANASINF769sYx
prefer hugs or kisses? - i mean, both. *slow motion walks looking stupid as fuck*272Please respect copyright.PENANAHIH0iD3A8y
favourite food? - ice cream.272Please respect copyright.PENANAxpENruybiI
last person you saw naked? - myself, you fucking icky nasty. 272Please respect copyright.PENANAjjsPpw7hcJ
shared nudes? - damn, people are nosy but yes.272Please respect copyright.PENANADYZmlIRazD
eye colour? - the rainbow. get on my level.272Please respect copyright.PENANA3ILUnMDfgG
favourite soda? - sprite.272Please respect copyright.PENANAPOgyta4Oln
biggest pet peeve? - people being people.272Please respect copyright.PENANAC0iLiQfGt7
can you swim? - yes, wtf?272Please respect copyright.PENANApdOWAqvFzM
favourite song at the moment? - 19 by stray kids but that could change every 2 seconds. honestly i don't think i have a favourite song.272Please respect copyright.PENANAgKocevW3RF
do you watch porn? - no, but i have with my cousin and her friends because we wanted to see the tony lopez leaked video so we searched porn hub. one thing went to another and we ended up seeing an apparent james charles leaked sex tape and then my cousin and her friend sat there and watched a bondage for like an hour while me and her other friend decided to cleanse our eyes with bleach and protect our assholes.272Please respect copyright.PENANAtn9qHeM27z
virgin? - yes, omg. nasty.272Please respect copyright.PENANANGnDvRO2lD
favourite social media platform(s) - twitter, weverse, snapchat.272Please respect copyright.PENANAhlttaDaJkP
colour of your current bed sheets? - weird question but, uhm, they're grey...yep *nodding*272Please respect copyright.PENANAtQPOOuEg8z
apple or andriod? - apple.272Please respect copyright.PENANAf0N8MJdHw5
best dessert? - mochi.272Please respect copyright.PENANAy5T65TTmF5
~272Please respect copyright.PENANAdC8r5lprP6
have you ever:272Please respect copyright.PENANALWiBFQEHvD
1. skipped class? - yes.272Please respect copyright.PENANAMhTG9xurXf
2. done drugs? - no.272Please respect copyright.PENANA8125JSDf8w
3. self-harmed? - yes.272Please respect copyright.PENANAHOdzn86JJD
4. drank? - no.272Please respect copyright.PENANAq2A4aX8DA0
5. shoplifted? - yes.272Please respect copyright.PENANAGnBeoDothB
6. gotten a tattoo? - no.272Please respect copyright.PENANAP3kEA1cUmr
7. broken up with someone? - yes.272Please respect copyright.PENANAWyPQerhLY4
what's your favourite:272Please respect copyright.PENANAf59Wbp3RvG
8. show? - the princess weiyoung.272Please respect copyright.PENANAoJd0pHBi3r
9. movie? - break the silence.272Please respect copyright.PENANAGHnJcOBFwk
10. song? - idk anymore and i just answered that, like, 5 minutes ago, omg.272Please respect copyright.PENANAyAOuciTJYz
11. artist? - bts.272Please respect copyright.PENANAaxslyAlH3p
12. singer or band? - bts.272Please respect copyright.PENANAEnV7KMZQmC
13. memory? - idk.272Please respect copyright.PENANAhP6i6nv3SB
14. book? - the cruel prince.272Please respect copyright.PENANAWt0q6mxpMU
this or that:272Please respect copyright.PENANA2AzMDKI7Ga
15. invisibility or ability to fly? - fly.272Please respect copyright.PENANAxXUCLS6aJs
16. cookies or cake? - cookies.272Please respect copyright.PENANAuh9hNnzEop
17. twitter or facebook? - twitter.272Please respect copyright.PENANATHx52qRLK1
18. movies or books? - idk.272Please respect copyright.PENANAd3lxYI5tNh
19. coke or sprite? - sprite.272Please respect copyright.PENANA9BL8DNLOcx
20. blind of deaf? - blind.272Please respect copyright.PENANAYMNXiVivSU
21. tea or coffee? - neither.272Please respect copyright.PENANAcg92tLzYn7
what's your:272Please respect copyright.PENANAVydTl2BQKA
22. age? - ninety-one.272Please respect copyright.PENANAW1F7sI60jZ
23. zodiac sign? - virgo/libra cusp.272Please respect copyright.PENANA6zkSirsGHp
24. height? - 4'11.272Please respect copyright.PENANAOV02tRvqRH
25. sexual orientation? - bisexual.272Please respect copyright.PENANASjA4ta5lBs
26. shoe size? - seven.272Please respect copyright.PENANA1OiluMUyLD
27. religion? - i'm not religious.272Please respect copyright.PENANAqUI4USWpyh
28. longest relationship? - like, five months.272Please respect copyright.PENANAPBtwW7bRA7
opinion on: 272Please respect copyright.PENANA2RsqzCFCH9
29. gay rights? - i'm gay...272Please respect copyright.PENANATuOwbjmWxs
30. second chances? - it depends.272Please respect copyright.PENANAqhgVGLlnog
31. long distance relationships? - don't get hurt, baby.272Please respect copyright.PENANAZU0oilhCOD
32. abortion? - ew.272Please respect copyright.PENANAIz4g25Mg5l
33. a death penalty? - ew.272Please respect copyright.PENANAlsFacM4Z0F
34. marijuana? - i likes that.272Please respect copyright.PENANACxeW1IjOWC
35. love? - what's love?272Please respect copyright.PENANA9kpf8EjKHq
do you:272Please respect copyright.PENANAPwZXbP8hoA
36. belive in ghosts? - sorta kinda.272Please respect copyright.PENANAFxdDSjyUDb
272Please respect copyright.PENANApJ9iw8J5Es
omg, bye. i'm tired of this.
- Alex <3272Please respect copyright.PENANANfwZd7M8xZ