「你今個星期日有沒有時間來我家?」張雅己在訊息裡說。93Please respect copyright.PENANA7gDVYWH4Ey
93Please respect copyright.PENANAStvIw2FbpG
「為什麼?」我吃驚地問。93Please respect copyright.PENANAqw9GtEkkGl
93Please respect copyright.PENANAr6AvnmDxsK
「不是你說我們要在學校保持距離嗎?我想跟你繼續討論,你不願意的話,要不我到你家去。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAGUdD37euMJ
93Please respect copyright.PENANAG0Bfxqg6HI
「不,不,還是我到你家吧。」我手忙腳亂,不知所措。93Please respect copyright.PENANA3xVCDdJrj7
93Please respect copyright.PENANAIvAbJ9y7W7
「可以帶薛丁格一起嗎?我想看看牠。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAdeTwgW8ICv
2008年12月7日星期日,93Please respect copyright.PENANA0fJCuRoLDn
我背著裝住薛丁格的貓背囊,來到張雅己的家門前。93Please respect copyright.PENANAUDBWaVWv5B
93Please respect copyright.PENANATw030IwTBD
緊張的按下門鐘,出來應門的是張雅己的母親,她很有禮貌地向我打招呼。93Please respect copyright.PENANAMu1lqgCk7x
93Please respect copyright.PENANAQr9cK7JRQp
「雅己很少帶朋友回家的,特別是男孩子。」她笑咪咪,邀請我進屋,後面傳來張雅己的聲音。93Please respect copyright.PENANAdrvnyenvhy
93Please respect copyright.PENANA29kAsW7Pmo
「你到了,快些進來吧。」張雅己催促我進去她房間。93Please respect copyright.PENANAKMYEZLqEnD
93Please respect copyright.PENANA6iOpeOrM7O
「要不要喝果汁?要不要吃零食?雪櫃裡有蛋糕。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAIB608z1w8z
93Please respect copyright.PENANAdeMektOo1t
她媽媽繼續在我們身後說著客氣話,直至張雅己用力關上房門。93Please respect copyright.PENANAeAGUWy0Fot
93Please respect copyright.PENANADG0Ajo9VbT
她房間裡比我想像還要整潔,而且香。93Please respect copyright.PENANAKHkmFnk7K4
93Please respect copyright.PENANAWTUCPcK2ux
最重要是我第一次看見張雅己穿便服的樣子。93Please respect copyright.PENANAoud3XI0wsU
93Please respect copyright.PENANA7bS5UMHeH1
我從背囊捧出薛丁格,牠不太熟悉周圍環境,在地板上縮成一團,張雅己抱起牠。93Please respect copyright.PENANANupF0C5lrO
93Please respect copyright.PENANA13OXwoILJq
「為什麼你主人會改你叫薛丁格這種古怪名字,他到底在想什麼。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAGeRE5GcgyW
93Please respect copyright.PENANAAomiPn3zUp
她用比平時更可愛,像小朋友的說話方式,對著牠說。93Please respect copyright.PENANAQscRtSF8Bc
93Please respect copyright.PENANAbpaJpRLDkk
「牠好像比我第一次見牠時健康了。」93Please respect copyright.PENANArvnuLlub9Y
93Please respect copyright.PENANAdkYmT4cm3z
「還胖了很多,我父母每天也買貴價貓糧給牠,快要寵壞牠。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAhBT5Fxy1Yo
93Please respect copyright.PENANAkLN2zoGFSi
「真好,我很羨慕你有幸福的家庭。」她說。93Please respect copyright.PENANAAuJ834v5sD
93Please respect copyright.PENANAm7xmE6IP1c
我腦裡閃過在警署時,她母親那哀傷的神情。93Please respect copyright.PENANAsAUIbPD8YN
薛丁格掙扎著從她手中逃開了。93Please respect copyright.PENANAOaef8aN8aC
93Please respect copyright.PENANAjVgWnxbH8P
她不知哪裡找來一個貓玩具,高大的她趴在地上,一直逗著薛丁格玩。93Please respect copyright.PENANAVfXfUTVkd2
93Please respect copyright.PENANAy4GdzafgHm
「我把之前說的那套電影帶了過來,或者有參考的地方,你有dvd播放器嗎?」我問。93Please respect copyright.PENANAN7peoW3Btv
93Please respect copyright.PENANA4UOM76L4gb
「可以用電腦。」93Please respect copyright.PENANA5FKE9IFqdU
93Please respect copyright.PENANAaumPCF6rb0
我們坐在地板上,靠著她的床,電腦螢幕很細,我們必須擠在一起看,肩碰肩。93Please respect copyright.PENANAoaslBzxGOD
93Please respect copyright.PENANA7hweOkOklc
若撇除了我坐在這裡的原因,是為調查她是誰的幻想,還有她是個自殺了5次還死不去的女生,我們現在這個模樣,不過是兩個平常少年少女坐在一起看電影然而。93Please respect copyright.PENANAE0FRX8Bt7r
93Please respect copyright.PENANAS9uETsn08P
薛丁格走過來鑽進她膀胳,她溫柔的抱牠入懷,在牠脖子的毛皮上親吻。93Please respect copyright.PENANA8H3enUfC1X
93Please respect copyright.PENANAs2stdn3Cj2
我想她的吻該是甜蜜又溫暖。93Please respect copyright.PENANAKqc0SXHUBH
「沒有人希望自己死去,不幸地我們都難逃一劫。」93Please respect copyright.PENANA1TGFT5lgSL
93Please respect copyright.PENANAsWCwmKRCQz
「終有一天,你會死。可能在銀行心臟病發、可能被薄荷珠嗆死、或者在你度假時罹患不治之症。你會死,你必定會死,即使你逃避了這次,也有其他原因導致你的死亡,而且我可以保證不會像她寫的那樣有詩意和充滿意義。」93Please respect copyright.PENANA42mUWEYUqa
93Please respect copyright.PENANAow8v4g46Gk
戲中其中一個角色對男主角說。93Please respect copyright.PENANANifAPFGRPS
93Please respect copyright.PENANAQg1vYmxXIu
我偷望身邊的她,她看得入神,我看到她眼紅紅鼻子也紅紅,一顆眼淚隨她眼睛輕眨,滑落到她的面頰。93Please respect copyright.PENANAHPk4Kye7GY
93Please respect copyright.PENANAavoaPwptT4
我不敢哼出半點聲音,不自覺減輕呼吸,假裝沒有發現她在哭。93Please respect copyright.PENANAk6KP4ZH3CL
93Please respect copyright.PENANACFXzGPh6xG
電影完結,她立刻站起來背著我,我知道她正用手擦拭眼淚。93Please respect copyright.PENANAwtpMwP64AD
「電影很好看。」張雅己咽哽著。93Please respect copyright.PENANAAP1RDkd2q4
93Please respect copyright.PENANAw4Oie9OH6j
「嗯,但好像沒有什麼值得參考的地方。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAtcOikqas4x
93Please respect copyright.PENANAxJiWFxRSFD
我看著她的背影,終於按奈不住,鼓起勇氣問我一直想知道的問題。93Please respect copyright.PENANAEqO3OOtzLi
93Please respect copyright.PENANAXYxrkSrwQk
「你可以告訴我你自殺的理由嗎?」93Please respect copyright.PENANAZUnPTtKCqY
93Please respect copyright.PENANA3tzRoVqaKr
她沒有回答,依然站在原地背向著我,我聽到她因為哭過,急促的氣喘聲。93Please respect copyright.PENANAl31aJTSKQw
93Please respect copyright.PENANA7gati1mwcI
「我不想說。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAoAnpphjGVw
93Please respect copyright.PENANARtfANLoPAn
「可能是其中一個線索⋯⋯」93Please respect copyright.PENANApHcbiwHNJK
93Please respect copyright.PENANASVi7K3WhKC
「我不想說。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAy9mHQRqdt0
93Please respect copyright.PENANAtEbWv9i7fx
「可能對事情會有幫肋⋯⋯」93Please respect copyright.PENANAjAqqmiXv46
93Please respect copyright.PENANA5uq2585uUJ
「我說了我不想說!」93Please respect copyright.PENANAold6h5DhAq
93Please respect copyright.PENANAZxho7xENLg
我第一次聽到張雅己這麼大聲說話,房間裡像迴盪住她的聲音。93Please respect copyright.PENANAUF97EVwA5h
93Please respect copyright.PENANAByVMPlsE4T
薛丁格嚇壞了,躲在我腳邊,我抱起牠,把牠放進貓背囊。93Please respect copyright.PENANAnQ3r94MFXG
93Please respect copyright.PENANAIvXDjRWe97
「對不起,我想我該離開了。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAsximixDeyu
93Please respect copyright.PENANAhGosiUxvvy
我轉身開門離去,張雅己也沒有回頭,我看到她的背影在微微顫抖。93Please respect copyright.PENANA2Dz2fDbWKv
張雅己的媽媽在門外聽到她大聲說話,以為我們吵架。93Please respect copyright.PENANAaYeByr4mBV
93Please respect copyright.PENANAgPgEmJJNU2
「對不起。」她不知為何,跟我道歉起上來。93Please respect copyright.PENANAD9YK5OKe2m
93Please respect copyright.PENANA5A699db1kS
「不,是我不好。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAlXA2ObCo8U
93Please respect copyright.PENANAiWt95pQe0p
「她小時候,是一個很乖很親切的小孩。自從她爸爸過世後,我就不太懂她在想什麼。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAbMdyIxYp2G
93Please respect copyright.PENANAPST5ZyMvgN
她看著客廳牆上的照片說。93Please respect copyright.PENANAjAbcxhW9xA
93Please respect copyright.PENANAc1VOmqtekl
「如果她爸爸還在這裡就好。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAjEnfVhA6c6
93Please respect copyright.PENANACtDopOdRTv
我走近,想看看張雅己的爸爸。93Please respect copyright.PENANAgWdndzikUA
93Please respect copyright.PENANABq6BeVdxoV
那是一張家庭合照,她媽媽年輕時更像張雅己。她抱住還是嬰兒的張雅己,坐在沙發上,旁邊站了一個高大的男人,應是她爸爸。93Please respect copyright.PENANAKBIbny1iKe
93Please respect copyright.PENANA1KKCb1jr50
「不好意思,我可以問張雅己的爸爸是何時過生嗎?」93Please respect copyright.PENANAnud4g3NzCQ
93Please respect copyright.PENANA7S60MEUe45
「嗯,是張雅己4歲的時候。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAPrexCamtdw
93Please respect copyright.PENANA7QO2NIX8hi
家庭合照的右上方,貼了另一張照片,大概是她爸爸年輕時跟朋友登山的合照。照片中有4人,前排是兩個女生跪在地上,高大的張雅己爸爸則站在後面,親蜜地用手搭著身邊另一個男人的肩膀。93Please respect copyright.PENANAr6bjNEqVPk
93Please respect copyright.PENANAfCaWdGyHlF
「這張照片是?」93Please respect copyright.PENANATqkvCh3q0i
93Please respect copyright.PENANAD1AJDLr4gL
「那是她爸爸大學時期參加登山社拍的,我們當時還未認識對方。」93Please respect copyright.PENANAxt9kw4II5G
93Please respect copyright.PENANAAcc6wK6LhI
我總覺得她爸爸身邊的那個男人很眼熟,好像在哪裡見過他。93Please respect copyright.PENANAVDPigkFNRe
93Please respect copyright.PENANAE94viwjWEK
這時候,廚房的水壺響起來。93Please respect copyright.PENANAuJHPhyhskh
93Please respect copyright.PENANAtfVN2bgJyL
我趁著張雅己媽媽跑到廚房關火,趕快用手機拍下家庭合照和那張登山照,然後匆匆離開了。93Please respect copyright.PENANAvewBTcAAWh
「對不起,我不應該發脾氣⋯⋯」她訊息裡說。93Please respect copyright.PENANAsKOzeJU5UE
93Please respect copyright.PENANAFre7fqgG4f
「不,是我不對,我明白你不想說,我不應該追問。」93Please respect copyright.PENANA8xhEy2KXqu
我回覆。
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