Dear diary,886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNbz2ReMyY
886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9yCAbBixW
In the last days, I‘ve learned a lot about the girl's world again. First of all, my first real affair with a southerner might not be an affair. At least according to the southerner. But I believe that Francesca from the ice cream parlor down the street is just ashamed of me now where our spontaneous liaison has come to light. I tell you, you‘ll find more spine in a handicapped stand than inside this Madame Moodswings. By the way, isn't it wrong to call that area stand as well?886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyWrxViltUe
Out of nowhere, she meant: ''Joachim, it's just part of the game that I smile towards the customer and of course give him extra crumbles. And to be honest I see no way how you could interpret this as a demand for dick pics and moaning records. But if so, then at least you could have pumped your dwarf instead of filming it when vegetates around like a depressive harbor rat on Valium. You pitiful disturbance on two legs doesn‘t even know how to harass correctly.''886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlk8UgJnmc
Definitely sounds like a far-fetched excuse for her sneaky betrayal, right dear diary? But well, so far just Francescas quite a debatable viewpoint. But I never thought that the common opinion of the rest would also rather support her perspective.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoy1uPUpScf
For example, her father smashed my window and threw a dead fish into my room. Thereupon, my father ran head over heels to her father and thanked him for some pleasant offer. Even mom was over the moon and called the craftsman because suddenly she wants to realize her long-awaited room breakthrough. To be honest, that confused me a bit. I mean is it that important to have a live audience when you're fucking? And if so, does the own son has to sacrifice himself for that fetish?886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdOO9iVBwe
886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3laVJvH6xJ
By the way, my little self didn‘t like Signore Calecis's action at all. Why couldn‘t he just have said: ''Hello Joachim old pal. Unfortunately, I didn‘t like the way you flirted with my daughter. Could you please stop that?‘‘ But no, apparently it's much funnier to foist me a tempting fish. Just for the sake of revealing itself as already expired. One of my tougher midnight snacks.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsowQWyUNT
So I realized that Signore Caleci has no humor.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bPkBnUiKN
Who has no humor too, that's the juvenile judge.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdP11vQP55X
I must keep a distance of 50 meters from Francesca.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJBR9ROrKc
I must keep a distance of 100 meters from Sophie.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhXQgTkuUP
I think it's ridiculous that I have to keep a distance of 100 meters from Sophie.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdhtXstQEv
Like I wanted to send the photos to this fat witch as well. My paws were smeared.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzBpLo8sLP
At least Signore Caleci has to keep a distance of 100 meters from me as well.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39TGx2RwYd
My friends advised keeping a distance of 1000 meters from his parlor.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnieuEBCFi
And I had to delete Snapchat. There it really has to stop somewhere. 2 Trimesters of law, an ugly robe and someone directly thinks he is a crazy motherfucker and has the power over 900 flames. But don‘t mind, some Hillybillies won‘t steer Joachim Pichelheimer off course. A real pick up artist bites the rotten trout from time to time. It's just important that you don‘t give up my dear.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXhW2Z8cDuR
The best proof for this is my latest acquaintance with another southerner. Exceptionally, the existence of this romance is confirmed by both sides. I’m talking about a hotblooded Arabian from the internet. And no diary you old rascal. I'm neither talking about a horse nor do I claim again having chances with Miss Khalifa. These early puberty hopes are long gone. Don‘t forget, there's a reason why you lost pages 50 to 360. No, our Aische isn‘t even really from the internet, but Marokko, Lebanon, Iran that corner. It seems to be a quite colorful hood. After I asked her how her Grandfathers worked these pyramids out, she explained:''The Orient is an artificial political model including thousands of miles and completely different folks. yOu cAN‘t GeNerALiZe All thtESe cUltUrAl gRoUpS.'' But don‘t ask me what exactly bothered her. Of course, I know cliches are just based on superficialities. At least I know it since I know her. Aische's brothers aren‘t building bombs in their garage and she doesn‘t serve as one of the 40 virgins for these geeks who obeyed all the rules. I even asked her these funny things to start some small talk. Well, it definitely broke the ice, but I fear she didn‘t really got the joke.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8L6RXnFcyC
Anyhow, it turned out that I had to win her heart back. Therefore, I wanted to show her how kindly my family treats weird looking people. So on our second date, I especially let my old man welcome her thus he could be able to present himself in the best manner. Moreover, it was my Abba hour. Between one and two a clock I bang Björn and Benni's tunes so hard that I never hear the doorbell. In retrospect, the idea with dad fired a bit back. Though in his defense, you also have to recognize the unlucky circumstances. Because the good boy didn't had his glasses on, he could see as clear as a mole which you pored a litter of pepper spray in the eyes. Furthermore, Aishe hasn't shaved herself the week before thus she might has looked a bit hairy. Consequently, you could also accuse her of trying to cause a misunderstanding. Long story short, after my Pa opened the door he looked at Aische once and instantly shouted: ''Boy, get the Bear killer.‘‘ But then he reacted quite fast himself. He ran back to the kitchen, took a glass of honey, removed the top like it was a grenade and threw the glass over the invader into the front yard. Then he begged: ''Please Pooh, it's all yours. Get the sweet and spare at least me and my wife.'' Aische not only understood the confusion, she even played along. She stretched her arms in the air and made an: ''UDDDRRR''. This was already enough to calm my dad. Although I don‘t know why a wild gone wookie should be a lower threat than a grizzly. The ''Udddrr‘‘ turned into a ''uddrrr???‘‘ when I appeared at the stairs holding a large caliber in my hands.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPwUwH5axE
We went to my room and of course, I could say lol she was a true bomb in the bed. But you know me, I don‘t use such obvious sayings. Besides, her performance wasn’t really that great. Not to mention mine. Maybe our pathetic pelvis-performance was influenced by our quite out of the box role play idea. To joke about the stereotypes on our first date, we decided to learn about our cultures through traditional clothing. While I jumped into an erotic NS-Uniform (for which I scanned all the black markets of this world. Sad fact: I developed a paranoia because suddenly the constitutional protection is interested in me) she just covered herself in a simple burka.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrObLrikc96
As if it would be sexy to shag a dark curtain while she could imagine getting laid by Rommel. Or admittedly, maybe my unhealthy body shape might have reminded her of Joey Göbbels the old limping leg. Anyway, that's why I was suspicious in the beginning but at least it was like I was banging one of the ringwraiths from Middle-earth. Well, that doesn't sound that nice either. But believe me, never before I felt more powerful! Who can claim to humiliate Saurons bros so hard? For sure not Frodo the little pussy.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsZFMc6jA4
Your now reenacting some controversial military marches Joachim Pichelheimer, climber of the mountains of Mordor.886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvDQCWfUIOe
886Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0oMqAl6ojh
Behind the scenes: Hey guys I'm a German student bored from lockdown. Me and my mates tried a stand-up contest just for fun and it turned out that my story kind of worked out well. As I realised that there aren't many language insiders I tried to convert it into English. So if there is some grammar struggle, it is maybe because it was hard to translate the sentence analogous. Have a nice day!
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