《我的MK妹同桌》第二季 - 200

呀詩比係鏡頭前嘅佢，憔悴咗好多，成個人都瘦咗。

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「終於可以見到你。」呢個係呀詩嘅第一句。

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「估唔到幾個月嘅時間係咁耐⋯⋯我以為，對比起我哋一齊嘅時間，幾個月時間其實好短暫，但原來比我想像中耐。」

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「我終於可以感受到你心口嘅心跳。」

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係呢啲時候，呀詩嘅心情、行為，成日都令我覺得⋯⋯我好似做極都唔夠多，呀詩對我嘅愛深過我愛佢嘅。

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「我係度啦，你唔洗成日心掛掛啦？」我撫摸住呀詩嘅頭頂。

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「喺呢一刻我先可以唔記得啲唔開心嘅嘢，個人有返啲力量。」

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係呢度嘅周圍，全部都係外國人面孔，至少我哋依家咁樣，唔洗理咁多人哋嘅目光。

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錫落佢嘅嘴脣度，回應緊嘅，係上次同埋喺機場度嘅離別之吻。

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離別嘅吻，心入面總有嗰丁點期盼，期待下一次重逢；而重逢之吻，就係忍過種種煎熬，可以一下子釋放出嚟。

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終於等到呢一刻嘅感覺，賦予「意義」俾嗰段等待嘅時間。

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我哋book咗airbnb，呢段時間，呀詩住係我度，佢依家寄宿喺人哋度，我過嚟點都唔方便。

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佢亦都同佢嗰邊嘅人講咗，呢段時間出去玩，聽呀詩講，嗰家人幾好，都算錫佢同埋幾通情達理。

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係佢喺呢邊唯一「美好嘅回憶」。

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我記得佢講過一句，令我明白曬佢係英國嘅嗰段感受，印象深刻。

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『佢哋俾到我屋企嘅感覺我，但唔係我屋企。』

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我哋去到airbnb之後，擺低啲嘢，就打算出發去其他地方玩。

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「我淨係得今日可以陪你去玩⋯⋯我⋯之後就要趕功課啦⋯⋯」

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呀詩抱住我，一臉謙意。

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我知咁樣只會加深佢嘅情緒負擔，其實佢唔需要因為咁樣而內疚，因為唔係佢嘅錯，佢自己都唔想。

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但佢覺得我一場嚟到，無得出去，係佢造成，始終都係因為佢。

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「唔緊要啦，到我真係好想出去嘅話，我咪自己一個人去囉。」我輕撫呀詩嘅頭頂，仍舊柔順，同埋散發住佢獨有嘅氣味。

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「咁樣我都會好想出去囉⋯⋯」佢扁扁嘴。

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「唉⋯⋯」然後就開始發脾氣。

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我明嘅其實，可能我頭先講嘅方法唔啱，但係我又唔知點講先至好。

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答左又錯，答右又錯咁。

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呀詩擰完頭，係度拍床，發悔氣。

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初頭我以為佢只係扭下計，氹下就可以，呢啲已經成為我哋兩個平時嘅小情趣。

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然後當我埋去氹下佢嘅時候，掂都唔俾我掂，可能佢真係好介懷呢一樣嘢。

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「好啦，我唔講啦，Sorry啦，頭先係我唔講，講錯嘢，唔好嬲啦好無？」我喺呀詩側邊，柔聲地說。

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佢仍然對我不瞅不睬。

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我唔講嘢，諗住攬住佢，佢都唔俾。

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其實只不過好小事，但就搞成咁⋯⋯我唔想山長水遠，咁貴嘅機票過到嚟，係同呀詩嘈交。

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我知佢依家嘅情況好差，只好默默咁陪住佢隔離，諗下有無咩解決方案。

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情緒嚟嘅時候，係阻都阻唔住，呀詩亦都唔想，我明。

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但係點樣處理呢個情況，可以列入最令男人頭痛嘅top3。

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我靜靜咁咩都無做，其實呢個時候做咩都死，連唔做都死⋯⋯

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（你仲有心情玩手機！）

（你真係唔氹我㗎喎！）

（走啦走啦你！）

（唔好掂我啊！）

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當然以上呢啲嘢都唔係呀詩講㗎啦，佢點會講呢啲嘢啊，哈哈哈哈哈哈哈。

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呢啲嘢都係我預想出嚟嘅情況。

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最後呀詩就留低句：「我去做功課啊！唔好理我！」就真係走咗去做功課。

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見到佢仲係嬲爆爆嘅樣，我心情都灰咗，明明真係好小嘅事。

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我以為咁多年感情，大家都會識得處理呢啲細節位，我理解佢嘅情況特別，但係依家我真係唔知點做好。

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咁佢唔想我一個人出去，我唯有留係度。

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只係個心，好唔平衡⋯⋯

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如果我走咗去，就到呀詩個心唔平衡⋯⋯

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天啊！！！！！

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唉⋯⋯點搞好？問得嚟意見，都日落西山。

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呀詩認真咁係部電腦面前埋頭苦幹，我知佢都好辛苦，就算我嚟到，對件事都好似無乜幫助咁⋯⋯

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我以為佢會開心啲，但得開頭嗰甜蜜。

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我望住呢間公寓，的確幾有家嘅感覺，我稍為有啲明白呀詩嗰句，有屋企嘅感覺，但唔係屋企。

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再望下窗外，外面係英國嘅景色，英國嘅大街小巷係有啲特色，個風景都係我未曾見過，搞到我有種想出去嘅衝動，覺得好似嚟到好曬咁嘅感覺⋯⋯

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不過！我分得清楚邊樣重要！女朋友嘅情況始終都係排第一。

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呢啲風景，無咗佢，會無咁靚。

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我決定咩都唔做，就等。等到呀詩話想出去行下，先出囉。或者等到佢做完。

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總之就等，亦都係我唯一做得好嘅嘢。

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