《我的MK妹同桌》第二季 - 194

「痴線啦，你覺得仲要答你咩？你覺得會咩？」我點點佢個鼻，有陣時都唔知佢個腦諗咩，成日都會問我愛唔愛佢，會唔會唔要佢咁樣。

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女人係咪都咁奇奇怪怪？

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「點知你！」佢轉一轉個頭，匿埋咗入去，正正個位對正我個小強強⋯⋯

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突然間俾佢整一整到我有feel，有啲控制唔到咁扯扯地。

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「做咩又扯旗啊？今朝早先幫完你咋喎。」呀詩好識挑逗我。

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「對住你幾時都扯得起㗎啦。」其實我都唔識點答佢，我求其嗡幾句分散我個注意力。

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「係咪淨係對住我㗎？對住其他女會唔會都變成咁㗎？」呀詩用手輕輕摸一摸我個龜頭。

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「梗係唔會啦！」我好肯定咁答佢，呀詩咁樣講更加令我感覺到佢嘅不安。

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可能係對我、對段關係、對long d不安⋯⋯

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我彎腰諗住錫落呀詩度，點知我彎唔落⋯⋯條筋太硬，彎唔到落去，而個嘴差咁少少就錫到佢。

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「噗！」

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「哈哈哈哈哈哈哈！男人最緊要條腰啊！」呀詩俾我咁樣搞到係咁笑，但又唔想太大聲喎笑得，就壓抑住自己嘅聲浪。

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真係破壞氣氛。

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呢個係呀詩離開前嘅日常。

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喺機場度，有子晴、有蕃薯仔、有佢大學某一班知心好友、有我同埋我呀爸呀媽送佢機。

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入境前嗰一張相後，我哋輪流同呀詩擁抱，佢笑住咁流眼淚，我最後先攬住呀詩，唔理其他人點樣睇，攬咗好耐，然後親吻佢嘅臉頰、額頭、最後到嘴唇，溫柔而有力。

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見住佢嘅笑容，轉身離開。

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其實大家無咁大傷感，知道呀詩都係去短暫嘅一個exchange，但對我哋嚟講，係第一次分開咁耐，除咗中學分手嗰段時間，只係因為我哋都係學校，都仲會成日見到，先至無感覺離開得太緊要。

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我同呀詩都好長一段時間啦⋯⋯由中學到依家，我哋互相陪伴咗一段唔短暫嘅時光，我哋經歷咗好多嘢，有記憶以嚟，呀詩都陪係我身邊大半人生。

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我希望我哋可以捱得過呢個long d，之前所有幻想出嚟嘅自信，喺呢個時候、呢個地方，通通掌摑緊我塊臉。

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原來係會咁不安⋯⋯

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原來係會咁掛住，原來佢轉身離去入閘嘅背影，係會咁深刻，咁不捨。

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直至見唔到呀詩，嗰一刻本來好澎湃嘅情緒瞬間冷清曬，其他人見呀詩入咗去，留係度只有呆等，紛紛諗住走。

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只有我唔捨得，仲想留係度⋯⋯

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「行啦，留係度佢都唔會出返嚟住。」子晴行過嚟，同我講。

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「估唔到你哋一齊咗咁多年，仲可以咁難離難捨，睇嚟依家嘅我係唔會明。」

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「我都唔知點解。」我同呀詩真係可以做到十年如一日，我知唔係每對情侶都做得到。

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「走啦痴心情長劍，你諗住留係度做望妻石啊？」子晴取笑我。

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我慢慢跟返大隊，但我嘅視線仲離唔開個閘口，嗰種隱隱約約嘅失落感越撐越大，有種感覺係覺得呀詩走咗之後，好似凶多吉少，唔知會發生啲咩唔好嘅事咁。

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所以我企係度咁耐，除咗不捨，仲有擔心。

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坐返車出去嘅感覺，係最唔好受⋯⋯

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帶著強烈嘅情感入去機場，然後帶返冷清、失落、空虛嘅感覺返去。

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生活一切都唔同曬，我只可以靠手機、電腦同呀詩聯絡。

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我係屋企度等，等呀詩落機，等佢去到嗰邊到步，然後打俾我。

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忐忑不安嘅心情，時不時就醒起呀詩，佢到步未呢？然後又望下手機，check下佢班機嘅時間，仲有幾耐呢？會唔會有咩意外呢？

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我就係喺屋企諗埋曬呢啲咁嘅嘢⋯⋯

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等到我瞓著，我攤係張床，我部手機就擺係我心口，係等到部電話震醒我。

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鄧登凳、鄧登凳、鄧登凳、鄧登凳

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喺聲音同震動下嚇醒咗我，我拎起部手機，見到自己個樣，嚇得仲撚勁⋯⋯心諗做乜嘢，然後有一刻唔知邊撚個嚟，再望真啲，原來係自己嚟。

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俾自己帥醒原來係咁樣嘅感覺。

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喺呀詩facetime過嚟，望一望個鐘，凌晨5點幾。

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大學生，平時點會咁早起身啊？我先啱啱瞓咗兩個鐘都無，我仲好眼瞓。

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眼瞓到只能夠用好撚眼瞓嚟形容。

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一接聽，呀詩唔係個畫面度，我淨係見到機場個天花板。

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佢個人唔知去咗邊。

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「喂？」我問佢，等咗咁多個鐘，一開cam就俾我睇啲咁嘅嘢？

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隔咗一排，都係唔見佢，淨係聽到好多雜音，好吵。

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我知佢係度忙緊，笠笠亂，所以靜靜地係度等，好快佢就拎返起個電話。

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「喂？你瞓咗啦？」呀詩第一句就問我。

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「瞓咗㗎啦，但俾你嘈返醒姐。」我笑說。

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可能只樣嘅對話，會係我哋之後聯絡嘅常態。

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「Sorry啊，我啱啱到啦，我諗你應該都瞓唔著㗎啦呵？」

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呀詩嗰個「你應該都瞓唔著㗎啦？」真係可圈可點⋯⋯笑到個人精神返。

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「係！俾你咁樣搞一搞，點瞓啊？」但我卻自虐地享受呢種甜蜜的折磨。

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「嘻嘻！咁陪我啦，我想一到步，第一次可以同你分享。」佢耷低頭望住部手機，呢個視角嘅呀詩都好好睇。

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見佢咁精神嘅樣，佢一撚定係機度瞓夠皮。

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「有無係機度睇下片啊？」我問佢。

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「無喎，瞓得好爽！」佢舉埋個手指公俾我睇，我都話㗎啦，「最衰佢會叫我起身食嘢啊，如果唔係我真係可以有排瞓㗎。」

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我都知，平時你瞓教嘅樣我見得少咩？

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「一落機開唔開心啊？」

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「開心啊，可惜無你。」呀詩無表露啲咩，忽然間轉咗佢個前置鏡頭，我透過佢部手機，望到前面有個金髮鬼妹，佢再將個鏡頭轉一個圈。

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「做咩無啦啦轉cam啊？」我問佢。

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「想share俾你囉，等你好似都係我隔離咁。」到依家，我都仲係好愛呢個女仔。

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「你轉返去頭先嗰個位⋯⋯」我叫住佢。

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「做咩啊？」呀詩不解，「呢個位？」佢轉返正，係呢個位。

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「係啊，你前面嗰個鬼妹幾正喎。」我唔識死咁講。

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「李！建！強！」呀詩嗌我個名，然後轉返個cam，係佢個樣，嬲爆爆咁望住我。

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「咩？」我挑釁佢。

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「唔準啊！」佢可愛地說。

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「你返嚟我咪無得望囉。」我講笑咁講。

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「你就想！」

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如果此刻呀詩仲係我身邊，我就可以攬住佢，可以錫到佢，可以撫摸到佢。

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依家通通我想嘅，只能夠對住個螢幕，強忍心中的衝動。

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總有啲嘢，係無辦法替代得了。尤其是上一輩嘅人話，依家科技咁發達，就算大家天各一方，有視訊就可以見到面啦。

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點同呢？

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見到面而無辦法觸碰，少咁啲溫暖，就會少咁幾分熱度。

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「咁你依家點啊？係度等？」我換個話題，壓制住我頭先嘅衝動。

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「無啊⋯⋯係度等學校嗰邊嘅負責人嚟接我咋，佢話佢就到啦喎，叫我係度等下先。」

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