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拿到氣球的同時,除了我和佳華還在傻愣外,有個人正在拆綁在絲帶上的紙條。
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是日菎。
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在這裡不得不再次提到日菎,她是個八卦女,班上一堆人的隱私她大部分都知道,這大概是她的興趣吧。無論是中午吃飯啦或是體育課,不然就是第六節下課的打掃時間,簡單來說,只要可以和其他班上同學稍微間隔一點的時間,她就會自動報告班上最新八卦給我聽。
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老實說我不會很想知道「班對」現在是不是在吵架,也不想知道英文小老師是不是正在請人教他把妹,更不想知道居然有人跟我喜歡同一個人,還刻意要他幫她綁頭髮!
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靠!自己沒手呀?
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媽的,想到就氣。
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然而,看到那女的穿著繡著他名字的運動外套四處亂晃,還大搖大擺地經過我面前,當下我心都涼了,或許是倔強,促使我擺出一副不以為然的表情,然後看著她。那時候是下課,同學到處走來走去,男生大多往外跑,女生不是去廁所就是兩兩聊天。
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而我只是看著她,一直看著她。
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當時班上頭頭政國看到這一幕,他先看到我站著動也不動,往那個方向望去,發現我在看李昀修旁邊那個女生,他沒說什麼只是笑。也許很好笑。
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我真的很無聊,他喜歡誰就喜歡誰,那是他的自由我管不著,如果今天是別人幫那個女生綁頭髮,我根本就不會在乎,但是因為是李昀修,因為是他,所以我很在意,毫不掩飾地在意。
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所以我以為我喜歡他,我以為我 ‧ 很 ‧ 喜 ‧ 歡 ‧ 他!
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雖然我不能跟他說些什麼,也沒資格對他說些什麼,只是不悅,而這些情緒到後來也是徒然。
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「水恆!喂,柯水恆!」
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「嗯?」
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「先看看他寫什麼。」她笑著說。
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喔,對哦,我幹嘛陷入回憶呀?都要畢業了,都被拒絕了,都已經這樣了。
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除了前進別無他法。
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喂,
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如果年輕就是向前邁步,前進,一直前進,那麼終點究竟在哪兒呢?
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我想我有點累了。
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