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有時候什麼都沒在想,什麼都不在乎時,時間過的很快。
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眼前一個月就這樣渾渾噩噩地過了。
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喔,我還是考了指考,現在正在填志願,而且我姐正在右後方給我出意見。
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「妳確定要填那間?分數夠嗎?會不會太遠啦?」
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「姐,」我回過頭,她坐在下舖打簡訊,我無奈一聲,
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「妳好吵喔。」
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「我吵?我在幫妳耶!真是好心沒好報!」
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是是是,最好是!
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她想和那位閃亮亮先生(註:她男友)聊MSN,所以希望我能快點填好,把電腦給她用。
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我停在選填志願的介面,滑鼠左右游移,遲疑著。嗯,我好想就這樣,什麼也不做,賴著不走,做家人厭惡的尼克族(註:Not in Education,Employment or Training,即不就業,只想在家裡蹲的人,簡稱NEET),算了,還是要為將來準備打算。你知道我有遠見。
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好啦好啦,這些當然都是屁話,因為登出時間快到了,我可不想再重新登入一次。
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滑鼠點點點,我沒什麼想念的學校(那也要看妳成績夠不夠吧?說的好像指考滿分的天才一樣!),我隨意填了志願,反正我姐正在和她男友空中談天。我唯一的希望,就是盡量離這裡越遠越好。過了兩分半鐘,完成了,完成了一個人為了逃避另一個人,草率的大學分發志願表!對,我連科系都沒看,卻硬是湊滿100個志願。還有,明明生我養我的家在南部,就是反骨地填北部學校。
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成績?
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你問我考的成績?
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這不重要吧?
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至少當時的我是這樣認為的。
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「不要填太遠的學校。」老爹如是說。
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「喔。」我說。
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填都填了,哪有改的道理?
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你知道我很懶惰。
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我知道自己一定會後悔,為了通勤,為了住宿,為了這個家和為了我所思念的人。
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眼角看著如屍體般僵硬地躺在桌上的手機,喔,它不會響了,不會再響了,因為我把電池扔了。
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不要問為什麼,
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天使行善的時候從來就不需要為什麼。
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