牠仍在瞪著我。171Please respect copyright.PENANAHdoaerO548
171Please respect copyright.PENANAZXRpHryf7h
我知道自己不該為此生起恐懼,但還是不自已別過臉去。太遲。那失去神采的眼眸已然烙印在我的腦海裡,揮之不去。微濁的眼白和無焦點的黑瞳依然瞪著我。171Please respect copyright.PENANAl7rHHRoNQk
171Please respect copyright.PENANA9MVbrWFosD
抵不住。171Please respect copyright.PENANA1c8vXgJPV6
171Please respect copyright.PENANAc4ggDa0edX
痠軟痺感從腰背間生起,往上延伸,直達後腦勺。頭皮下的肌肉微微抽搐,有如海浪一波又一波地翻騰著,甚有節奏地拍打那森白髗骨,向脆弱的大腦求救——怎麼辦?怎麼辦!171Please respect copyright.PENANAiFfCzdyXL2
171Please respect copyright.PENANAQvtNobeX1E
滿腔灼熱縈迴不散。毛孔卻被莫名的寒意不斷刺激,紛紛收縮,豎起毛髮。冷熱相煎下,我突感暈眩,瞬間失去重心,整個人跌倒地上。171Please respect copyright.PENANAqSmIm60fui
171Please respect copyright.PENANA5aahRcjepC
不行!要休息!171Please respect copyright.PENANAKIYR71hgVY
171Please respect copyright.PENANAi8cjwW0TLw
我或爬或蠕到客廳去。171Please respect copyright.PENANAhy0sFBoriM
171Please respect copyright.PENANAAFhxUUBzG5
矇矓間,我在梳化上昏睡過去。171Please respect copyright.PENANA7C0siNZNmv
醒來。天色已黑,慘白色的戶外廣告照明燈光穿透窗戶玻璃滲入屋內。整個客廳黑一片、白一片,徹底從眩目的彩色世界分割出來。四周寧靜得可怕。耳朵彷彿失去功用,聽不見任何聲響。171Please respect copyright.PENANAgoHM1B7e7h
171Please respect copyright.PENANAbHTy0htINW
不,隱約聽到廚房傳來的滴水聲。171Please respect copyright.PENANAGGJ1EbzaEd
171Please respect copyright.PENANAwzOeofXKdq
滴、滴、滴、滴、滴……171Please respect copyright.PENANAIm8kQFC0qp
171Please respect copyright.PENANAcJgzRAfkbT
我再次想起牠——那條死不瞑目的魚。171Please respect copyright.PENANAolgislcAB3
171Please respect copyright.PENANAJeV5mxiT6A
今早逛街市經過魚檔時,我看見死翹翹的牠,無意間與牠的目光對上。頃刻間,身邊的人事物統統淪為背景雜音——全世界只剩我和牠。171Please respect copyright.PENANAbnhXf90Nct
171Please respect copyright.PENANA4sND08E7JW
明知道魚是沒有眼皮,無論是活是死,牠的雙眼只得圓睜著。但我感覺到牠是有意識地瞪著我,牠是衝著我而來到這海鮮檔,牠是為了與我獨處而冒死離開海洋。我必須回應牠對我的渴求,絕不可辜負牠!171Please respect copyright.PENANAbmd5yiiJqr
171Please respect copyright.PENANAsx0U2hQbxk
我匆匆買下這條顯然不新鮮的魚……171Please respect copyright.PENANA8j2CUG71XG
171Please respect copyright.PENANAlekJ6NihM5
滴、滴、滴、滴、滴……是盛夏的炎熱令我生起錯覺嗎?也許吧。不論原因為何,我總得要處理牠,至少要將牠放入垃圾袋裡,趕在清潔女工收集垃圾前丟出屋外。171Please respect copyright.PENANAsF1dAVCWSt
171Please respect copyright.PENANAjLyclNVWKp
廚門框前,我停下腳步。沒有預想中的噁心腐臭,甚至是嗅不出絲毫魚腥。我多走幾步,發現本該在洗滌盆的牠已然失去蹤影。百思不得其解之際,一絲熱風自窗入屋,吹過我的臉。171Please respect copyright.PENANA5nPrXkZhmj
171Please respect copyright.PENANAMXLKiox8Q8
難道是經過的猛禽或老鼠叼走了牠?171Please respect copyright.PENANA5Zi4vof0m3
171Please respect copyright.PENANAhzewZRzYqE
我鬆一口氣,繃緊的眉頭終於重歸平順。171Please respect copyright.PENANAmSrUeXA2hN
171Please respect copyright.PENANAWkUeCYWGs3
「你在找我麼?」一道不男不女的微弱嗓音倏忽從後傳來。171Please respect copyright.PENANAMIs2OvJwz8
171Please respect copyright.PENANAjmUYjrHbu1
我回頭望向廚門——171Please respect copyright.PENANAA2ClSH7d6q
171Please respect copyright.PENANA9HvPrZgOXh
眼!巨型魚眼正隔著廚門框瞪著我!黑瞳的直徑剛好是門框通道的闊度,瞳的上方和下方是折射著異樣彩光的眼白。171Please respect copyright.PENANAqZIUJDhFwe
171Please respect copyright.PENANADazQnEo00t
我的腦袋不聽使喚,不斷推測和想像魚頭的大小和魚身的長度,間接將恐懼推向高峰。尖叫聲已然離開聲帶和喉嚨,快要脫唇而出之際,多條觸手從魚眼黑瞳中央高速迎面伸來,掩著我的嘴巴,緊纏我的四肢和頸項,將我整個人提起至半空。171Please respect copyright.PENANAMkNr1yF1KT
171Please respect copyright.PENANA3gKs2oRCMu
沒有被衣物覆蓋的皮膚與觸手緊貼著,再不願意亦沒能無視它們的質感,潺滑、柔韌。半透明的烏亮表層下,是紫黑色的血管,或粗或幼的。血管壁規律地起伏不停,有如心臟跳動那樣。噗、噗、噗、噗、噗……171Please respect copyright.PENANA3JleS7OS0v
171Please respect copyright.PENANA9cSlCbwmMF
我嚇得快要昏厥,兩個鼻孔本能地粗喘著,務求腦袋保持清醒。經過血液的運送,氧氣到達心臟之處。噗、噗、噗、噗、噗……171Please respect copyright.PENANAHW58cIRB9A
171Please respect copyright.PENANAmm9KhU05OJ
頭腦稍為清醒之際,我發現自己和觸手的心律節奏竟然同步起來。噗、噗、噗、噗、噗……是巧合?171Please respect copyright.PENANACjdY97A5xq
171Please respect copyright.PENANAgwvmaAc4B2
「世上沒有巧合之事。一切皆有因果循環。」嗓音淡然回應。171Please respect copyright.PENANApvPiJ7P1Dc
171Please respect copyright.PENANAuZ7BtvbJ4u
我聞言感到釋懷——原來是自己作的孽,並非無故飛來橫禍。171Please respect copyright.PENANAxqMGj4GeO4
171Please respect copyright.PENANAq1Ioztkt0t
「來吧,該是時候償還你欠『我們』的。」171Please respect copyright.PENANANrhbuOe4Fl
171Please respect copyright.PENANAi8qovOTjYC
更多觸手從黑瞳伸出,沿著我的腳踭、小腿、大腿以蜻蜓點水之姿往上爬……171Please respect copyright.PENANAThLISceZcj
猛然醒來。天邊泛起魚肚白,是月落日出的曖昧時分。不明不白不清不楚,鬱悶的,壓抑的。171Please respect copyright.PENANARxvfigTE1y
171Please respect copyright.PENANA3xjg3858Qp
頭很痛,像是撞傷的後遺,亦似是徹夜受風吹後的赤痛。171Please respect copyright.PENANAXIIQ8H6F24
171Please respect copyright.PENANAj2QqrzmwZk
昨夜發生過甚麼事?我怎會在廚房地面睡著?171Please respect copyright.PENANAvvdqryrfSy
171Please respect copyright.PENANAvCJ4ocmuZH
也許是昏倒——我哭笑難辨。171Please respect copyright.PENANAKApaCstaCr
171Please respect copyright.PENANAXZRigK4apR
應該是昏倒——我竭力催眠自己。171Please respect copyright.PENANAcFx6qG6CoQ
171Please respect copyright.PENANAoskHv9qEkF
肯定是昏倒——我被恐怖巨魚侵犯僅是惡夢一場。171Please respect copyright.PENANAkBM4WTvsyN
171Please respect copyright.PENANASLuNzp8YS4
我雙掌按地,勉力撐起身體,無視下體的痛楚,緩緩步出廚房。171Please respect copyright.PENANAFzjlrE5RFQ
171Please respect copyright.PENANAQZ80YJgtQW
沐浴更衣,乘搭鐵路上學去。繁忙時段,人如鯽,擠在罐頭一樣的車廂裡,隨著運輸軌被分發到各地去。妻離子散,各在一方。活下去,活不下去。171Please respect copyright.PENANAVgLNvLMMDl
171Please respect copyright.PENANAnR8fT9OpwM
誰在乎?我在乎!掛念,怨恨,復仇。合情合理……171Please respect copyright.PENANAzPv6lZaerK
171Please respect copyright.PENANA9hjmU3ZYTF
旁人紛紛掩鼻後退,彷彿我是惡臭來源。不。不是「彷彿」,而是千真萬確:我也嗅到自身散發出來的濃烈魚腥味。但我站在原地,佯裝一切安好,繼續舉手拉著吊環扶手對窗發呆。171Please respect copyright.PENANAgvv5pJVItq
171Please respect copyright.PENANAcWvhfcNAZT
景物匆匆由右至左掠過,消失速度快得兒戲。像我的父母,逝去匆匆。他們都是漁民,乾癟黑瘦,混身一股天然海風鹹香。某天他們出海打魚,再也沒有回來。我明白那是甚麼一回事,沒有流淚……171Please respect copyright.PENANAq15BsyS11G
171Please respect copyright.PENANAwSPu7k9a0l
旁人在列車停站時爭先恐後奪門而出,只剩我一人愣在車廂裡。我知道他們為何驚恐——我的腹部在短短半分鐘內鼓脹得把裙子撐爆了,露出佈滿紫黑血管的肚皮。如果內裡的是人類嬰兒,我相信是四個並排著的胖白小娃。171Please respect copyright.PENANAhrulLoAGU2
171Please respect copyright.PENANAlV6Kge5pu6
父母失蹤後,兄姐將我送到大城市升學,待我畢業後回鄉幫忙打理父母遺下來的漁業生意。我一直期待學成回鄉與兄姐團聚,誰料一年前他們相繼失蹤……171Please respect copyright.PENANAMDCMtnjNFz
171Please respect copyright.PENANA617tN2AjQd
半透明羊水沿著我的腿往下滴流。我沒有驚恐,反倒覺得自然——生孩子,有多稀奇?我冷靜躺在地面,張開雙腿,操控下體肌肉,使勁將孩子們推出來。171Please respect copyright.PENANAOJl4GVmM7x
171Please respect copyright.PENANAXbSGY5Lvw4
一分鐘?兩分鐘?五分鐘?十分鐘?抑或是更多?171Please respect copyright.PENANABdOdHliHWg
171Please respect copyright.PENANA0tcmD423mB
怎麼時間如此難過?171Please respect copyright.PENANAdDt3iKgpCe
171Please respect copyright.PENANANkmY86Gdcw
我的意識開始迷糊,無法集中精神操控身體,身體彷彿不屬於我。漸漸地,我感覺不了雙腿的存在……不。我該說「我感覺不了『雙』腿的存在」。兩腿如一體,沒能光是移動左腿或右腿,痛會一併痛,放鬆時會一起放鬆。171Please respect copyright.PENANAg64pWH3eym
171Please respect copyright.PENANAWsYkJLwYQO
我意識到有甚麼特別狀況已然發生在我身上,但我最在意的並不是自己,而是孩子們能否順利由子宮口離開。不過我後來知道自己多慮了:孩子們都是聰慧的,懂得自行另覓出路。肚皮不再撐得鼓鼓的,孩子們在我體內各處游來游去。部分性急的橫衝直撞,搶先撐開我的嘴唇衝出來。171Please respect copyright.PENANAE9RfjwhbKC
171Please respect copyright.PENANAEQt3Rge9eI
啪啪啪啪啪——啪啪啪——啪啪——孩子們竭力扭動身體,猛力拍打地面,以頻密而微弱的拍擊聲代替哭喊聲。171Please respect copyright.PENANAcWLsJxHjIr
171Please respect copyright.PENANAUCmURxBGya
不消數秒,更多孩子自我七孔魚貫而出。171Please respect copyright.PENANAUoAyB1wYcm
171Please respect copyright.PENANADfqnJbNifY
啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪——是鼓掌歡呼聲!孩子們在感謝我的犧牲!171Please respect copyright.PENANAC6mUpL6Ihg
171Please respect copyright.PENANAJXV79RCSvN
「只要漁民死光了,海裡的孩子們活下去的機會就更大!」171Please respect copyright.PENANAqAEvstNcQd
171Please respect copyright.PENANASf2E1TlCVQ
我感動得流出眼淚來:生命真奇妙!171Please respect copyright.PENANA8K0rbE4gjo
171Please respect copyright.PENANAIMK9vTbE44
啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪啪——啪啪啪啪啪——啪啪啪——啪啪——啪——掌聲冉退,黑暗襲來。171Please respect copyright.PENANA1xOJ5jB8Qv
171Please respect copyright.PENANA6pJJ5bF6tH
我原以為自己累得合上了眼睛,誰料在最後一刻我才發現自己早已沒有眼皮。171Please respect copyright.PENANAiKjLfT0XVw
註:此文另收錄於《雜念集》。如有犯規,請通知,會刪文。
ns 172.70.127.57da2