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互評大亂鬥 - 評文 聽說那隻貓正在尋找「她」的記憶 | 白玥狼 | Penana
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互評大亂鬥
ENTRY #75
Author: 魚落井
Published:
Feb 14, 2021
互評大亂鬥
Published:
Feb 14, 2021
ENTRY #75
評文 聽說那隻貓正在尋找「她」的記憶 | 白玥狼
Author: 魚落井
Published:
Feb 14, 2021
1 Min Read
278 Words
No Plagiarism!WP6YK8pTdczXEDIrtdyAposted on PＥNAＮＡ

是魔女的題材 xd 由於小說處於初步階段，我就稍微評價一下。

內容

主線很明確，就是黑貓要去尋找神秘魔女的記憶，以及解開知識魔女為何被殺之謎。一開局就拋出知識魔女被殺一事，吊起了讀者的胃口，很棒~ 至於後續發展尚未發佈，我就無從評價了。開頭很不錯。

文筆

文筆流暢，沒什麼沙石。不過雞蛋裡挑骨頭的話，個人覺得某些畫面銜接不太順。例如寫小灰鼠能看見她的臉，但後續卻寫她渾身髒兮兮的，頭髮怎樣怎樣，卻沒有描寫臉怎樣怎樣，有被騙的感覺哈哈哈

人物描寫

神秘魔女的個性有凸顯出來，幻魔女動不動就切人手腳也挺突出，但整體人物上欠缺外貌描寫，令人物在讀者心目中面目模糊，建議可以起碼略略寫眼睛/髮色/服裝/氣質，目前角色欠具體形象，是為美中不足。

288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7St9GvIkr

288Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprxQdpAyA2

172.70.179.107

ns 172.70.179.107da2
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