惡名之下
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致不想回想起的記憶
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297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtif5p6uply
我不是那種「一般」的孩子297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRKB0SrgmC
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cQVsWMW6S
但特殊得來，又不叫人驕傲的特別297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumL2TXBgyF
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyj9Uilbli
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童年、成長、至今，我深知自己和其他人的不同，正因如此，我也因為這份特殊與我該在的地方、該有的身分道出分離宣言
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0e6oxj5py
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不是我害怕297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zyOdW1rRs
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wBx4WmCVl
是害怕自身
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3W7p6x7cRC
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3ZOxgX3jz
世界很奇怪，只是不一樣的，所謂之「特別」，往往引人恐懼，危險的出現297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVIZ4V7pCn
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiu3057Bf6
因為不同，意味改變297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhBccwSLFvk
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7csoGV5CO
縱然沒人希望遇上困難，但又想克服，就只能待困難自己解決、或是自身忽然學懂如何去使吹灰之力的程度297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGFmRnpFIH
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdMJM3TTfjK
卻現實中，是沒有可能發生此種事，萬物不由己生，正如沒有不勞而獲，其之獲的勞，純粹不是由自己付出而已297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0jAhD0ysxW
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhMr43wSZd
這道理297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnKcRfcoLAP
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdXTMW0CIy
我是明白的297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61zS9FBk3a
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMwUgnCnlF
但又現實中，我做不了什麼，我無法展現自己在這方面的認知297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKk4xsFS98
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOijOX4Bsp
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMny5hA2Zs3
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTBQ7MiBhd
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpYAksZNHl
—— 啪喇 ——297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFtz3zlJeu
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZsyqlG7oe
「廢物！」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEauKN4Biw
「您是吃撐沒事幹嗎？！」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUj5l2zvv1f
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1BxH1Q1nm
見玻璃零碎散落，深紅沾在純黑的地毯，清脆響亮的聲響堪比硫磺一發，暗中的深紅滿滲若如蚊餐一地，儘管而言並非直對此方，隱約可見利片刺中了自己297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3fv5cKG3y
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTVdPBCUyUT
「現在有毛有翼曉升天了，作反了哦？！」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCJuwxYzma
「您究竟是不是真的弱智哦？！」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcQ8bFihRc
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VENkldjRg
「麻煩製造者⋯您可真是⋯⋯可不可以有點自知之名？」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcPXE4ldh8
「該死⋯」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMmrkOHuxw
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使力擦著額，短棕髮的她伸手到黑木桌子，「咻」一聲扯開櫃門，反手便伸入其中，撥開文具，翻走書本，往當中內最深處伸去297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPE5hjkxwFd
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeluLoQSxg
數聲粗魯的物品碰撞，還有其後那響亮至耳窒的拍門，女性在視野外掏出一白中漂黃的東西
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297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXamuqHlwSG
象牙製煙斗
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勾在嘴裏，同時從胸前口袋中拿出小圓盒，像口紅的造型，倒是金屬製，畢竟說到底才非打份用297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfU2idSrxc
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmymzmQ5Dc3
熟練地扭開蓋鎖，拇指彈上開蓋，倒轉在煙斗的填裝位，一滴297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡauWBlKSsHZ
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAF5WdILIfW
「⋯呼⋯⋯」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiTBbb0MWxR
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雜草味，燒靑草的氣味，少許攻鼻，但並不濃，再者也未到刺激的程度，單純是蠻有葉綠味而已，連漂出來的白煙也幾乎不存在，室內散佈最強烈的，唯有植物的味道
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背對自己，她抽著煙斗，看往窗外
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297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxUvuAUmp5
不是特別高樓層，當然整座大廈也是己業前提，地方必是自己選址選樓層
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297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXW7nr8sXD
若是較高的位置，是可以看到海景，朝向東邊的海藍天，以及遠方一帶沿海的密集，高樓大廈又有，不起眼的小方塊亦有，熊本縣的各沿海城市，整個一起，掃望而入眼內297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtURgySCvdW
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLnAJCtEm0o
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4xRpm7VxWL
但她不同，她的選擇往往比任何⋯一般人，自己所想的奇怪，然而又有其論點，要說的話，就是她擁有著不同自己，過於複雜而與別不同的想法297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhXkLB8WaL
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297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKzvm0YioR
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZAXmxzzoQ
作風不一，思考的模式不一樣
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297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxnjy8ZJDz
就好比她不打算把辦公室置於上面，而是這兒，這層，剛好不高於窗戶所面向，商店街的頂蓋，的一層
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQnvn6XwWpg
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvcPfvtg3P
看到車站、酒吧街街頭、商場門口，各種
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaKjfzy3Ao7
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWH3tLgEOlt
因為她要真正的「全景」
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297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3p2r1rfDg
我真的搞不清楚，嘛，無法理解
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297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ip2Rl7rFX
好比她究竟是怎樣看待自己一樣
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297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtYR4VBnQx
我知道，我也明白自己現在可是搞出大麻煩了，不但引起了刑警的注意，還有引致本地一眾不良、暴走族的騷動，現在回望，嘛，還真是想也想不到自己有這麼的能力297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4O7EoaYOY
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUbPclIslN
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYJkktimwf
抑或說，是我一直以來，低估了老姐她的聲譽及影響力297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9Mn7yl78t
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpaSzZPOGk
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SreCMYlbK
山松組的力量297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinhYiJfSH2
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ04NpmIjBWK
「您到底⋯什麼時候才會學乖呀？混帳⋯」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjq8SU0BNlW
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWprSK1CnP
回神過來，她已經坐了在那辦工椅上，左腳放右腳膝頭，口中濃吐淡煙，即使口氣稍安定，放大的瞳孔凶剎不爾297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDnRkUReYq
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXbOYX0Ibb
她是我的姐姐297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWcd1iaOeUB
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQEd4yZvh6
山松組的老大297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcP5vmFZ6Ia
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRzIkbzNOL
大和英加297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIUrokIIVH
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAP4FZF6ApU
「說話啊」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4D2hFTPn6
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuomGosV4pB
央百花297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QhWzzhA5P
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUvxBG6ECR
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoupHTw0dHT
我努力地站在原處，就這樣一聲不吭，但是視線一交上，就看不了更多，看不到，尋找不到視線可聚落之處，可是呢，她可還生氣著，直對自己297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk3IGADs9PW
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa9CDtr54Rb
「⋯我可不會當你啞的」
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTkBYjqpV5
「⋯⋯你要是不說話⋯那好⋯⋯好⋯」
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujdW8OAMcz
「就讓我倆在這，一直⋯一直在這」
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhSAnbXwFm
「在這一起浪費時間，反正⋯ 我 · 很 · 閒 」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMZ3eAiiju
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSnWduAxxU
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「⋯⋯」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01IYN6RB7c
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn58QZEn6LA
呼吸聲由緊縫的唇瓣洩出，曾有再多的話，希望反駁、說理，又說不出，不在她面前297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nk8xDa20w
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHfzOEDa99
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM64AtCa1BK
我不只是害怕，畢竟目前為止，一生中最敬重，亦最不喜歡的，也是她，我的姐姐297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMcW82k87C
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaLxzhGbID
她為我做了很多，太多，甚至我了解，自己所認知的，只是整幅拼圖的一小塊297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvgr87Av7s
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhM9M61vyE
理應我該做好自己就好了，對她來說是最好了297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkCn07lcUkN
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBt4ECyOkl
所以說，我到底做了什麼？297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg00bZ0iZE3
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KDuCT0vnp
我在反叛嗎？可能297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFCuQk48ZfO
為了什麼？
為了什麼⋯？
成為些什麼的身分？
為了她的認同？
⋯⋯
我不知道
我自己也搞不清楚
回去一開始談到的地方
我選擇了前者
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTkJkzugySB
讓困難自己解決297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfzKMqoxyN
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDousCSvfh
但困難就是自己297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCSimksgOZ
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所以才裝模作樣，卻又成了反效果，或是說，我從來也沒有想清楚任何事情，而衝進去做297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjInYBVeF0e
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IIJ8aAuR8
我做事沒腦根、理性，是後來的事情，日益嚴重，動不動就動氣，感性行事，這樣子便不用想了，不用想太多了297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6FZ9FFx3E
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qn8gcpinZ
不用去想更多平時的負面了297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2eW4vJZ3k
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單憑感覺行事297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YdWk38jXE
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這樣子便不用去研究他人的目光、想法，自己的得失，將來的後果，麻煩的各種297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhG5Eqd5Mv4
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PdXIQRef5
反正本身裏頭已經積累了太多297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQn8TWxxkGS
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2y0iWPUn9
確實地問我，是不是很想孤立自己？297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo04xINC5IR
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別開玩笑297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGhbxVEoZm
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但我有選擇嗎？297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiPLZTs2pO
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注定無法「正常」地生活的我，注定混混噩噩過日子的自己，大概⋯本身已經叫姐姐她傷心了吧？297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Pr7ZM4I8f
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不過單是自己也是297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0zMO7UeQSX
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我不想這樣子297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93qimWu0FB
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我不希望這樣子的「特別」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu8Gw0KnhSg
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuxlFm9zjv
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPwN5kEXBg
但對自己來說，所謂的「未來」已是注定的
不能做到什麼
不能實現什麼
那怕是已經放棄得崩潰、討厭自己
也不能有什麼改變
我看不到明天，也看不到昨天
但⋯有分別嗎？
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJRecrULL0c
當初的命運已經被注定，因為自己是大和氏，因為和那混帳有關係，因為⋯因為297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9xWVbp8q7
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我根本沒有能力去保護自己297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouCI5TAOZK
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沒有能力297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRh5H5TEld
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一直以來也是297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5c8ScYdkav
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我⋯⋯297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNltgQ1NtmU
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我297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMg5V6yFSBe
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我根本沒有選擇297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuhGO1KQsb
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現在的話，選不選擇也沒差別吧⋯297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfiLl6eSpS
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算啦⋯297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSp3sRgBNB
297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClenFW3Uly
就讓我自暴自棄吧
將我棄之不理吧
但一定，一定
一定會被反對為結果吧
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「⋯」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1OG31HccXJ
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怎也沒所謂了297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstELREmukj
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「⋯算了」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFy5Z1XhNPZ
「我要出去食晚飯了」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFbu0f5i42
「你打算怎樣子呢」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxa9jwrZVo
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「⋯⋯嗯」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNoxMo5OJN
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沒所謂了297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2Tk8HOce9
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「⋯⋯」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQoilqpLyD
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反正我就是生下來那刻開始被詛咒了297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQmo7NLCF1
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反正是我自己弄到自己得如此下場297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRpxDdulHX
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反正297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWZbcwlJxS
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「⋯」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDV7CLSn1E
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「笨蛋」297Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyILZp5BuRi
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