致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HCiZwMBeP
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前提，是特殊情況之下360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡigrT1EBmTo
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrD7GOrVVM
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大概360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WhxZ9MzMg
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg08Lhs2Y3H
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5fSzC1QpBJ
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「⋯」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkx2Iympg2
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPiUSrcCI2
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjsSDkn90sM
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxURXQ5maB
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV2tg26SD3K
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不良日常性時候360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2U8CTawtWK
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39hqT5BX5W
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJf9cAxT3KK
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1OeMBXx3R
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDd9ORlbiT0
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JYOseCBcW
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIINdA5GkuT
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDCjAK8AU8b
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCQjLg3vl4E
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfrC4HA69D
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXVthpz7Rr
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「呀！來了、來了！」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63vZVUZFI3
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「走啊～」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJY9Otxl37
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VaOJaiMRc
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEIdSpmbuf
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他360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKqWR2V73Y
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「又被欺負了嗎？」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdINQhtG4yc
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJ4UDnBiwd
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGFBwh2co4
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSJkMM1Mzh
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlY44ePzWSu
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJPCByszrgB
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⋯⋯360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAMkmuXJuA
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怎也好呢360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2up1m18M5
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「⋯⋯」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDTVlIrA7M
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQ9Jo7rWO3
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAoFBof7jyW
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—— 咔 ——360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60wksxQrcV
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⋯360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwqtuh0oi3
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⋯⋯360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0r8JMHmjx
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYUrSC3enB
「嗚⋯」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtHN77QtqK
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiqrxgLKhb
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbF6Wa9adVc
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhGqALhEVQ
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「啊？！」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dHOsGIjOz
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—— 啪噹 ——360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfIi2mLB6qp
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yvjo4zkpT
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5H0WgxlCpm
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她一樣360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡftnV82igs9
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AJiakcd99
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NMHTCafZk
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「對不起！」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSzjlSkZgH
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuqdkr9D0P
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「來」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3j1GVQfEr
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「⋯謝謝」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4owvhiRuh
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz42712LsKV
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBehUi5Y1h
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeX6bwCCI4u
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpF7q0C0D1F
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「那個，水無月？」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzpAjduhHY
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「怎麼了？」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkd96s4F3uj
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN17rnXB9bb
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各種360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6Kil4RH2q
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUBlrXUZmT
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZ2hU52c5a
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且只能回味360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhgZYZ3hFB
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「回來了嗎，島見？」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡALJQ1avRp6
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlpCPTYFbZ
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo595qAQqSJ
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2489wHLyu
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「媽媽⋯」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYP0bDNgU8e
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「⋯⋯是的？」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQXrXG2RqU
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKbGtFxNTa
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYo37ePmdTZ
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZSxF4IoaTj
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WNZEwKVZd
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呢360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrpjkvGeHk
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcGGSunTwmV
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TelGHB0KD
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbatjAncTu
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHSRdlvD7O
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyfN1w3M0H
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqRXro523i
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—— 啾 ——360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQem1KsCeLS
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忘記不能也是360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ22TzFoZcAM
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
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這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS446fEcbrd
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我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「正常」360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeh4PQhL3GK
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當然360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHerCVlxJz
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2FUnWZjFOi
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自討而已360Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq91rNjV2mw
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
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