致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxsWqUjGWK
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前提，是特殊情況之下528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmseDNMAY4
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51W7pTEgA2
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大概528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbIa64vYTx
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcW0nOP5hFN
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWhedMuyrz
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「⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJVq4jN83PE
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUcCZbnu8F
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxWiyzEL9Q
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLAPRlC06D
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0BUltpGlQ
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不良日常性時候528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6CECvFMkg
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8lPJfynRq
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTG2uceXCXw
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhk09E4fe38
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNU1vWo4dU
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFV037HDgey
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVfIS4iVoy
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkYhRUjWnk
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59vxU1qT5P
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScxEEJcm1k
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITxGk0LRGG
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「呀！來了、來了！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGLFFk0QZ9
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「走啊～」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgRKjGtkEd
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEV8jtgIGN
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKDILZ364b
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他528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLGGjiH8SPb
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「又被欺負了嗎？」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUeKgzAkRc
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3tl9NIa9I
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9hOahowVY
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9lq4GXMMP
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxMkNpTk7LS
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCASzcWwr8S
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⋯⋯528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYtLPiTpj6
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怎也好呢528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnr5HQ3NSn6
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「⋯⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1oxOz18j7
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrNJ4kP1Q2
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWi0EO2d6oT
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—— 咔 ——528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawBo5spi5u
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⋯528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSLKD7EkgW
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⋯⋯528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AsKxpR99S
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPVArPfqZK
「嗚⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrssX1tQgGx
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM6BZzJ2Ftx
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfWE4pJdP8
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrCbdAcn9Y
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「啊？！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3uFSgMgsm
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—— 啪噹 ——528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbQu0jWB5i
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gDf6im0oQ
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4THpcaRJ46
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她一樣528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd371e8Hazg
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUQWkdMQLh
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡth4ogH0WJ3
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「對不起！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18zD6IXHj2
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0kqouiGUE
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「來」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkV6qNgr9Hv
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「⋯謝謝」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKK02xmJUy
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5kTBUkTt7
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDiakuxsKbm
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqUObAOt5h
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSbA2GI8ue
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「那個，水無月？」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGuVQ4xzyRJ
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「怎麼了？」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44y3WGj0EO
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkM3w72ctl
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各種528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPfhqst8iN
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcyV4gNcci
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIZcTPjxvh
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且只能回味528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMme1E8Bjzl
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「回來了嗎，島見？」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5dAoFUHWY
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeNKubRSos
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRzlKo4ypu
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDDot557wd
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「媽媽⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgp38Bj0g8
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「⋯⋯是的？」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzcUrAu29qQ
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3ShGfKBhb
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqVZDntmJe
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50JU28LyqX
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWR6R9SGF0
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呢528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnJ0wTM3jP
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQPKPOUFTG
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIEGdYSrRy
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來得太突然了
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「那個，水無月，怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPXvScP2HC
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「哈哈～不過看起來只是氣息而已」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2i5zBuELu
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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「生日快樂！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5GqS5pZGN
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「這個是你弄的嗎？謝謝♡～」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xhGzEHSvp
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太過成功才使人後悔啊528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBZDguknuVz
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「⋯賀羽⋯⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvhTzbKoKz
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「所以說⋯你的⋯你的答覆是—— 啊⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnnd1vXETA
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—— 噗 ——528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEH8OLh7HMu
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「喜歡」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xvtVrQJNW
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「嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3N3jhAHCug
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQiVS3mc1kK
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如果⋯528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTqh7DDCGM
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKa3fiyEkV
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來得太突然了，去得太突然528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvr50w9zKT1
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「什麼？」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGP3yMNdqE0
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「⋯對不起⋯⋯賀羽，我也不想的——」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ElHXYVh5g
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xIwyAvc4s
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「你和人家道歉有什麼用啊⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqicahpa211
「我⋯我已經一無所有了⋯嗚⋯⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbYNweFT7m
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「⋯對不起⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsthti9NYW
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對不起有什麼用？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡevaBBQn24x
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道歉又有什麼用？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzPKHRCKGLX
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卻528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yd9WTq3sq
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhhNgCrov95
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要説再見了嗎？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwd4ADnWhWn
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我不想528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQr4uxoptoC
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImcASSXbR8
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7Tp7AZbMm
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我不想那樣子528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDhVqUyJ2c
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNXRbXnaMu
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSl7avy4Aw
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不在這般的前半生之後528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsrGWC5WZi
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⋯⋯528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IpdbCRGha
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無論如何，日子倒是來了528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJsWV0t0TW
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最後的笑容，就在當刻528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyCvuKi6pge
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcgGjlJHeDB
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSCLDoldee我不接受528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrv7LnT2WD
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYTTM8XxtL我不接受528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIw5t0Oa08
528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14LOjU4EPZ
—— 啾 ——528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdHn7t7frj
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我不接受528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xHoEvYddU
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「賀羽⋯？」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRriVIxiotf
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—— 啾 ——528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVRG2Vq1CJ
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbYDBA20Tw
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkl5x2b8a6m
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我不接受這樣的結果528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJmYbj1GCR
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1XSpPZt0m
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOaqUxJazk
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTeyfLKehdy
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我的本性528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIranLDvnEj
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeFoVoforj
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—— 啪 ——528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQ9I08ImEf
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「給我閉嘴」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQqFDFPIUB
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIBRaAkk0g
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我終究只是野獸而已呢528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5LGzUG2yO
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrrEqvqNrQ
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWCbSK1fRj
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而作為人形野獸真的該死528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihRDOdoye4
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如此痛苦也是活該528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBUxHvOykV
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忘記不能也是528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqhy2wY4FA
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2T0RcfmOS6
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3v1fhgP58
「張開口！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCornTDwPYc
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2Frrweaih
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發現了嗎？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUMG0AE8pb
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3ZdsATPy7
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
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這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLjtFbVIBM2
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我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47ej6NemdJ
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「為什麼⋯⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETcMxpw6wg
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我所嚮往的528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP93cqwX19M
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所謂的528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63EavME6q2
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「正常」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBtOXxY0fwk
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純粹是個謊言528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHbDngLbms
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpY0COBz04
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozTPVLv9xp
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⋯⋯528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTR3LcvxgkU
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所以說，我是異類嗎？528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfIvqeoLfo
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「⋯⋯再見了」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJvaOBxukM
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當然528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZ4HNglg4X
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79JDze8oKu
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XPrAq1Bfn
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0TYW3TG3T
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「嘿⋯」528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQvczF9Gar
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自討而已528Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4UbwrWxul
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
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