致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjjkyYA7bB
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前提，是特殊情況之下329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbD8uIILfe
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzqujngC0C
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大概329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTz7FgoKDS8
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjQ6M8tL5h
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJnnMPbBlH
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「⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHEh211uOEQ
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBqCOAmwSwt
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhj2hUaAHWd
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbFr5Fn91F
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHGWo0vdpXX
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不良日常性時候329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARqS5FJuhw
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfIzZG7AbG
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvBf0UYnzZ5
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjGMIj3jp5
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLy6Y3BtojO
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV6vaGN1Ku8
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ltUuaZPSt
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTQVg7VjqQ
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlRp9h4IQI
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWFoErOVRP
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnsSt2bczo
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「呀！來了、來了！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotiSythvYn
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「走啊～」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaNSQ2CryF
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrgMXVnVj6
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPflRrfHxe
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他329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElUFyfEuze
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「又被欺負了嗎？」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0X32scisZJ
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJOPlrtvQAn
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tU65eQ5Xi
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxybhP2arP
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfr4LG73w4
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1JKlm3vrN
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⋯⋯329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2ZS0LBC14
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怎也好呢329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkNSs6g7hp
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「⋯⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO94HPSqB0O
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4TUEbpEQM
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AF946Nbt4
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—— 咔 ——329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmFRhiz6KN
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⋯329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FclaiqEJe
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⋯⋯329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPJJ0a3B3I1
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgcTb0WJgO
「嗚⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3V86f19buX
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMU0mqeB4o3
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJVAIXlz8Q
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4taa5TJjt
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「啊？！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUWcPTh3OM
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—— 啪噹 ——329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4CQJB9NtG
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDE8VNDorH
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcjVrILFpG
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她一樣329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmFVgQpVxh
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylO2AKMSx4
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxixyfMWf3
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「對不起！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi03eIFtGbu
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Hn8FUuMT3
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「來」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqE7no1myg5
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「⋯謝謝」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEP7mhFIfjX
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4K5XjmbTlI
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8QRI7Q7P8
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywN7Bht2fA
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWVrNqYpN1
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「那個，水無月？」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThWnHto9Ys
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「怎麼了？」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpInNd3WZk0
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXQ9uMZBtW
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各種329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VSGxHE3M1
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7uDFS5Fb1
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcXD1wjzuq
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且只能回味329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVxSmPU0qr8
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「回來了嗎，島見？」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpLGYUmgdK
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYJIxiSIgD
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZqUuBDs68q
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVFc9nlX7M
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「媽媽⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyX6hFFvJ7
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「⋯⋯是的？」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbiz25LGZVB
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVmhwzMKNXF
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yownJeJUm
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL71H2FxDoa
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZubUtDfUe2
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呢329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttRAMO6l7P
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlajgkCg5rK
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3arpxA3jmv
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來得太突然了
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「那個，水無月，怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXZnd3goei
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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「生日快樂！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCdJEPI9Zx
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太過成功才使人後悔啊329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCIlC9dXyZU
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—— 噗 ——329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5G5OG5N7dg
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXBUNX3vpF
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如果⋯329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexiCIWiRbh
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzgXnGYZmfh
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來得太突然了，去得太突然329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovXeI282OG
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「什麼？」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSCKeKnXDR
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ844DsCCIB4
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「你和人家道歉有什麼用啊⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡurknGgH262
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對不起有什麼用？329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnaTBac4km4
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道歉又有什麼用？329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPqogJJuhs
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卻329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAkEYAUg9E
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4Oovrd9Lu
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要説再見了嗎？329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzuiTaMGMQR
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我不想329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7BNFIUULy
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILv7Q2vlCn
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7o0oUxZI3U
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我不想那樣子329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPRp9O74tH
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbfvPnFVSv9
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MEnaqMKuu
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不在這般的前半生之後329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZ0fp8tHFE
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⋯⋯329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpsXjSTOZZ
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無論如何，日子倒是來了329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfiB6wadPk
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最後的笑容，就在當刻329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuV7M69QqCE
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9wQ0qmn64
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—— 啾 ——329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BquzSQnkA
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我不接受329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImNKfgRq8N
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「賀羽⋯？」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIq0aPX0sKD
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—— 啾 ——329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLKbuUGhGb
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSS1PI4qUP
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNGqGSvoLEt
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我不接受這樣的結果329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0TKqZsl72
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZAJ3hQWN1
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Fh3ghQOGt
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxuEE7mciB4
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我的本性329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlQAIsK3Eke
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLa1Z8n1pEq
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—— 啪 ——329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX5wPdRn2LP
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「給我閉嘴」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRnLAmnvPPH
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我終究只是野獸而已呢329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKMbrmP8HH
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEQZsEnPxR
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCUu0iEaUW
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而作為人形野獸真的該死329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMTHKvPToJ
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如此痛苦也是活該329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnd9zP4Uyl
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忘記不能也是329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgzFzbzwRo
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK32h4lQi57
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7DLp5ZGkH4
「張開口！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHvKvrSLjiw
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YD9WkYCKs
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發現了嗎？329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkq54s9XWH5
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhjILaM9QHg
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
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這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVLE9Ofn7S
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我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6HbvyPzBJ
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「為什麼⋯⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BDw2G1ZxH
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我所嚮往的329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cYQi9uGng
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所謂的329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzQBN2EPmF
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「正常」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLS8JP3WePC
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純粹是個謊言329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqd0SC4THw1
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPe56aU2jf
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBpiFnlhiC
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⋯⋯329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjwvSsmFBws
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所以說，我是異類嗎？329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8tezcgdNf
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「⋯⋯再見了」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMqKFMk2c5
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當然329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsSMqTdNGS
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0Fe2fe2te
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1f5Cx3XJt
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdkDpW4JfB
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「嘿⋯」329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR0ILshoV8n
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自討而已329Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsYLezVfptx
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
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然後按「加至主畫面」