致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主,並不是唯一死刑300Please respect copyright.PENANAphhW4cWFhH
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前提,是特殊情況之下300Please respect copyright.PENANAnHpxqyMR22
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧300Please respect copyright.PENANAY1kt0PGcy2
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大概300Please respect copyright.PENANA20IohSVhIq
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因300Please respect copyright.PENANA9cipxllHWc
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」300Please respect copyright.PENANAR0QOhhFmPw
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「⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAOjCE7bcNxI
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突然間吹來的陣風,由兩腿直上,大腿、大腿內側,臉到眼皮上,睜眼300Please respect copyright.PENANAmEuErPqQih
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「⋯⋯啊?呀?!啊?!」300Please respect copyright.PENANA5xnfMBmcrq
「不、不要!拜、拜托!別捉弄人家了!」300Please respect copyright.PENANAN2rwe6LsY9
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想直接鑽入桶內,雖叫不可行,若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方,可是會遭流水沾到,在極致羞恥的時候300Please respect copyright.PENANALWjmYshvn5
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不良日常性時候300Please respect copyright.PENANAg6VEu0YyC2
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身體總是遲遲未能反應,倒是淚會第一時間衝出,明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度,再說,不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲300Please respect copyright.PENANAFDAd6n4AbD
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「還『人家人家』,女生又不是,男生又不是,人妖就人妖啦!」300Please respect copyright.PENANA04fQWmkKv8
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「哇~來看看娘娘腔!噁~」300Please respect copyright.PENANApQYUjRFbVk
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「不要這樣啦!是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦!」300Please respect copyright.PENANAOGdtzzqLf4
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦!」300Please respect copyright.PENANAD5bSiiR22y
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「對、對呀!好壞哦!」300Please respect copyright.PENANA1UdCxbPpA8
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「嗯~可是呢,要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦!」300Please respect copyright.PENANADYIhYEAORs
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「看呀!有尾巴和耳朵了!」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能,先天性,我就是其一,跨代遺傳,親父母經過詳細驗證後,結果仍為陰性,但舅父⋯
『不要!不要!求你了!』
『好痛喔!停下來嘛!!』
『嗚咽啊!!唔咳咿呀!』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說,是剛巧地,遺傳了基因缺陷300Please respect copyright.PENANANneFQSLkyb
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由誕生的那瞬間,身體患輕微白化病,更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*,而原因?是因為崎品的激素,影響的不直接是我,而是母家的基因,對崎品的感染不抗拒性,先天傳了下來,我便在母體內感染,便這樣⋯來到了世上300Please respect copyright.PENANAiIugVCg4ey
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般300Please respect copyright.PENANAyf5cCTFUKp
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「呀!來了、來了!」300Please respect copyright.PENANAc2cwDmgOd4
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「走啊~」300Please respect copyright.PENANAs6YvvplTMh
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而怪物、猛獸,若是想與人共聚,必須有所牽制,有能防止其「暴亂」的存在,有一個「主人」300Please respect copyright.PENANAxCsIyDTvRu
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構成「異類」的形象,是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」,我的存在主要是前者,而有後者特性的,是⋯300Please respect copyright.PENANA8wBjqs6b5K
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他300Please respect copyright.PENANAuUY1QSxH02
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「又被欺負了嗎?」300Please respect copyright.PENANA5wnmcdSBX9
MUC- 311602,3月11日16時02分,是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他,是我人生第一個遇見的人形,也是伴隨我成長的唯一,不是「朋友」,也絕不可能是,但我承認他存在,使我真正成為「怪物」的存在300Please respect copyright.PENANAQgG7OBWz74
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並非和現在,即此刻,普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一,應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號,我才不知道,只是認得同樣的白色,如水晶一樣反光的皮膚,還有如膠管一樣的頭髮300Please respect copyright.PENANAyMl2KAhAFD
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可能是那不平常的外表,也可能是仔細觀察,便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子,還有那冰冷的氣場300Please respect copyright.PENANAEbB65JK9z2
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老實說,當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的,就特別顯得自己孤獨,因為沒有其他人去依賴,不得不望向唯一,守望同時傷害自己的他,這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友,我恨他,但也無可奈何地,他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害,恨不下,愛不上,若是重來不有他的存在的話,反是好300Please respect copyright.PENANAoJFYZEpKGv
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先天性宿主,除了有人形監視外還有晶片,頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片,喲,不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛?300Please respect copyright.PENANAGsJ0NJwPiu
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怎也好呢300Please respect copyright.PENANA4mpmzxwElY
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「⋯⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAfqklsWGWpA
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「為什麼不鎖門呢?」300Please respect copyright.PENANA629qwIxH49
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」300Please respect copyright.PENANAFqH3A4tsqp
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—— 咔 ——300Please respect copyright.PENANARCXpqGEGHO
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAbEM61nnXSO
「嗚⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANATuqGnZV6qV
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉,但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門,位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人,但任憑一對好奇、厭惡,有眼色的視線落在身上,便如同把自己摳打著300Please respect copyright.PENANAjmZCwg93kS
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣300Please respect copyright.PENANAKLjNBCCuo8
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傷殘
「同學,請問——」300Please respect copyright.PENANAokJSd2q4AI
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「啊?!」300Please respect copyright.PENANA2g0J5BnXCA
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—— 啪噹 ——300Please respect copyright.PENANAL70XZcAWMk
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害怕視線交流,也害怕交流本身300Please respect copyright.PENANA0tITyWDVvu
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但儘管這樣,自己也希望「正常」起來,和那孩子一樣,和這孩子一樣,和⋯300Please respect copyright.PENANACweUAjcqsw
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她一樣300Please respect copyright.PENANAT2Q3mS8Cyt
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乖巧、友善、親人,她是我的相反300Please respect copyright.PENANARYLLYcyg4O
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在我的眼中,她根本是另一個世界的人300Please respect copyright.PENANAkaIuM1smO4
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「對不起!」300Please respect copyright.PENANAM0rxT2nP6k
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拾起地上的餐具,裏面為紅色,外面則是黑色的便當盒,低著頭,跪在地上,不行,不能,我討厭這樣,拜托離開我吧,請——300Please respect copyright.PENANAPpy5MZW7la
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「來」300Please respect copyright.PENANAphrlHvwOxz
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「⋯謝謝」300Please respect copyright.PENANARvGRXaqhJH
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我討厭這樣的自己,特別是在她面前,在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前,作為風紀股長的她前300Please respect copyright.PENANAgCq6OObevA
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怎麼説呢,或許在初中的我,存在只會被她確定300Please respect copyright.PENANAfnHNfZh2kc
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了,但取而代之,是絕對的冷漠,情況不可以叫好轉,說到底,我並不是那種凡事沒問題,可接受的人,嘛,好歹是個頑固的,自己不相信自己是,好歹⋯300Please respect copyright.PENANA12LCvE9mMp
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事300Please respect copyright.PENANAlc3OSvtPJI
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「那個,水無月?」300Please respect copyright.PENANA9GTZRH86X2
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「怎麼了?」300Please respect copyright.PENANAPemR1Xq1wl
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正因這樣,我不希望在唯一前,做出會被否定的行為,例如表現得像個孩子,表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAEaUYW5Qkhq
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各種300Please respect copyright.PENANAFQbeHNVUI2
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所以說,活得正常,對於自己來說的話,難道是奢侈的嗎?300Please respect copyright.PENANAM4tnRg8qNS
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道,因為太容易習慣,就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度,熱時寧願凍,冷時寧願天氣熱,會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起,是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理300Please respect copyright.PENANAJlfWQwTwT3
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且只能回味300Please respect copyright.PENANAjJsFe9fAQX
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「回來了嗎,島見?」300Please respect copyright.PENANA2bNeKJd9O2
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「嗯,回來了,媽媽⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAxX9EQI91Bt
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累,仍然是前所未有的感覺,當然,回味的時候才發覺,畢竟那時的感覺,純粹是當下,是「發生了」而已300Please respect copyright.PENANAThpmUKw48G
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「喲,島見,聽媽媽說,媽媽今天——」300Please respect copyright.PENANAKOswlqhOSB
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「媽媽⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAeiFh2b7GLK
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「⋯⋯是的?」300Please respect copyright.PENANAmWnrLddIU5
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回想起來,自己啊,真是不會珍惜,不知足呢300Please respect copyright.PENANAhHnv262vty
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」300Please respect copyright.PENANAtVaw5KkBHJ
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語畢,我跑到樓上去,嘗試把微笑藏著,但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來,例如自小的抑鬱與自卑,還有這刻極為奇特的轉變,媽媽知道,爸爸也是,一直以來也知道,這點我也知道300Please respect copyright.PENANAUVLS39AqqD
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢300Please respect copyright.PENANAZ3pQYEIoSM
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呢300Please respect copyright.PENANA9TzltyVjYP
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開始了不知多久,三個月?至少一個學期吧,事情就如此突然,事情就如此戲劇性,能和她一起,彷彿為一個幻想,不同世界的人,居然可以坐在這裏,我居然會被人照顧,世上接納自己的外人居然存在300Please respect copyright.PENANANVLIPtIyiB
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幸福曾經存在,我經歷過,品嚐過,居然能有如此的一刻300Please respect copyright.PENANASeviO4tAY5
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來得太突然了
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「那個,水無月,怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」300Please respect copyright.PENANAlps0BzEczQ
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「欸?」300Please respect copyright.PENANABVH077aBgR
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「哈哈~不過看起來只是氣息而已」300Please respect copyright.PENANAx7Mw7Nqklk
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「這樣嗎⋯?」300Please respect copyright.PENANAMbulwEGG5p
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢!」
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逐漸自滿起來300Please respect copyright.PENANATSR7WNOHFj
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「生日快樂!」300Please respect copyright.PENANAKUQdLClOO5
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「這個是你弄的嗎?謝謝♡~」300Please respect copyright.PENANAHaqdI0wNhT
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太過成功才使人後悔啊300Please respect copyright.PENANA0kpbU6EYI3
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「⋯賀羽⋯⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAXj2W3jqSHt
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「⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAVTS8xgdp1M
「所以說⋯你的⋯你的答覆是—— 啊⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAoYC07npSNH
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—— 噗 ——300Please respect copyright.PENANAGYDsHtdps3
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「喜歡」300Please respect copyright.PENANA2Bde7cRZkG
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAiLkDycUVs4
「賀羽?」300Please respect copyright.PENANAlkKwbepihE
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「嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAEsqMK9DgcG
「太好了⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAYbg0GZbPHv
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯300Please respect copyright.PENANAxtt2jGPcK3
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如果⋯300Please respect copyright.PENANAVma32cOM3I
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯300Please respect copyright.PENANA1q53fRbVax
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來得太突然了,去得太突然300Please respect copyright.PENANA9orVyI4Zr2
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「什麼?」300Please respect copyright.PENANACS0IRPOl3y
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「⋯對不起⋯⋯賀羽,我也不想的——」300Please respect copyright.PENANA3bCDKia40Z
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消息是事實,將會發生,不久之後,即使伸出雙手,也抓不住多少,留不下什麼,什麼也沒有,改變不了什麼300Please respect copyright.PENANAiAERZ78tCw
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「你和人家道歉有什麼用啊⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANALcKgarrKv0
「我⋯我已經一無所有了⋯嗚⋯⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANA0Qw71QRf7t
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「⋯對不起⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAdsBADCFPot
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對不起有什麼用?300Please respect copyright.PENANALoZnXVMxN6
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道歉又有什麼用?300Please respect copyright.PENANAGXFQhzsxf9
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卻300Please respect copyright.PENANADjaJgYu5ZR
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞,終究改變不了300Please respect copyright.PENANAGTGa5urQJA
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要説再見了嗎?300Please respect copyright.PENANAxmiVDYYdOv
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我不想300Please respect copyright.PENANAYZlbDBgbMm
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我不想笑著,和若無其事一樣,說再見,回到那個「正常」的日子,回歸那樣的生活中300Please respect copyright.PENANAQ16EBquIIx
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這下子不只是離別,是失去,奪走300Please respect copyright.PENANASd279TyAZA
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我不想那樣子300Please respect copyright.PENANAcu8aYklJln
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但如同自己所提及,我做不了什麼,不,其實可能是有,或許有這麼個機會,我找不到而已,我不肯去找而已300Please respect copyright.PENANAHPgLfdCnRe
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對,我經不起失敗,我承受不了錯誤了300Please respect copyright.PENANAXA4fsj8zjQ
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不在這般的前半生之後300Please respect copyright.PENANAGqSWxvJrGJ
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⋯⋯300Please respect copyright.PENANAa8CCpNklsW
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無論如何,日子倒是來了300Please respect copyright.PENANATSwYQTErIL
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最後的笑容,就在當刻300Please respect copyright.PENANAxj6do9vITO
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無人知曉的山林,看不到任何建築物,唯見山林和草木拼起的大地,背著式微的陽光,黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已,靠在她的懷中,帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗,但不行,我不可以放手,放不了手,我才不要這樣子結束300Please respect copyright.PENANAmda3IFCd5W
300Please respect copyright.PENANAp0xo44ROFI我不接受300Please respect copyright.PENANAwGPeHfBi0c
300Please respect copyright.PENANArh1JrC5DsX我不接受300Please respect copyright.PENANAlCiCi0sVtd
300Please respect copyright.PENANAjviCRM10xv
—— 啾 ——300Please respect copyright.PENANAHTvpUxYJ6R
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我不接受300Please respect copyright.PENANAFaLrceNojd
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「賀羽⋯?」300Please respect copyright.PENANAbrvrNlPGv0
300Please respect copyright.PENANAFp6rxR4tRO
—— 啾 ——300Please respect copyright.PENANA951wNbkJ4s
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAq5cfD28YVp
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANADAIsBnm9sf
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我不接受這樣的結果300Please respect copyright.PENANANeT8CvEANG
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「嗚哇啊?!!賀羽!住、住手!拜託了!」300Please respect copyright.PENANAZ8lGkbJ1K3
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當時的我,只是任憑感覺去而已300Please respect copyright.PENANALR6Qaa24HD
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「不、不行啊!!嗚哇!賀羽!」300Please respect copyright.PENANAuloa1SHTsp
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我的本性300Please respect copyright.PENANAXH0W3DNfBJ
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「救命呀!嗚 —— 救我 ——」300Please respect copyright.PENANA15huFs3Itp
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—— 啪 ——300Please respect copyright.PENANAV5By7Fm3Bz
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「給我閉嘴」300Please respect copyright.PENANA5JKiDFVNhJ
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「—— 嗚⋯⋯!」300Please respect copyright.PENANAh2xasGNkPe
300Please respect copyright.PENANAkLkVMmV1o2
我終究只是野獸而已呢300Please respect copyright.PENANAS27iP9fVb6
300Please respect copyright.PENANAb3hmz0q3G7
「⋯怎麼?!呀⋯?!嗚!停下來!求你了!!」300Please respect copyright.PENANA8dvTWcGn2J
300Please respect copyright.PENANAIvWnIGbrs4
「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAPKb854LVAz
300Please respect copyright.PENANApQ7ja5qwbt
而作為人形野獸真的該死300Please respect copyright.PENANAtYmZKe6GQs
300Please respect copyright.PENANA6cKTGAo5Hx
如此痛苦也是活該300Please respect copyright.PENANAKP9tmLDIEl
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忘記不能也是300Please respect copyright.PENANAiWA00XgrAp
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「我可把晶片挖出來了!」300Please respect copyright.PENANAv9uyzWAsGS
「現在靜靜的認命吧!」300Please respect copyright.PENANAn0wlCvTW4G
「張開口!」300Please respect copyright.PENANAwEOs6eJbsQ
300Please respect copyright.PENANAEtfvXnjgmU
「嗚咳啊⋯嗯?!咳 —— 咕唔?!」300Please respect copyright.PENANAfDCwx04JTd
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發現了嗎?300Please respect copyright.PENANAsM1jcZtJ5q
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「好痛啊!不、不要!!咿嗚哇啊!」300Please respect copyright.PENANAOWVtkNqIjW
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
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這道、那道疤痕也是,見證著300Please respect copyright.PENANADedUr3YDUY
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我的「正常」,純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANASgKwlKcBHe
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「為什麼⋯⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANATGczfGYiAI
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我所嚮往的300Please respect copyright.PENANASHvse18LRD
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所謂的300Please respect copyright.PENANAKnZmKWhpLW
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「正常」300Please respect copyright.PENANANFtp8yYrql
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純粹是個謊言300Please respect copyright.PENANAgWIny7iodY
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANAOonE2JrYGx
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「⋯你要是說出去,我可真的把你殺了」300Please respect copyright.PENANATQxPJqpbzi
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⋯⋯300Please respect copyright.PENANAo5NmMpqMGg
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所以說,我是異類嗎?300Please respect copyright.PENANAKS3oRsPFKf
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「⋯⋯再見了」300Please respect copyright.PENANAxNlwgwMkVX
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當然300Please respect copyright.PENANAkgxM508Ra6
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎?
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「切」300Please respect copyright.PENANAjPovCjIkja
「等了這麼久⋯嗯?」300Please respect copyright.PENANA3HKNGYUs5o
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氣息在小巷傳來,張開眼睛,長髮的,走過了我的狩獵範圍300Please respect copyright.PENANA4TtJhoSVuy
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「嘿⋯」300Please respect copyright.PENANA3tHK7YczwZ
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自討而已300Please respect copyright.PENANAaygd0y7kiz
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正常,從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧?
ns3.137.182.21da2