惡名之下
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致不想回想起的記憶
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382Please respect copyright.PENANAWsqmndGPeX
382Please respect copyright.PENANAaIrgLcJC7F
我不是那種「一般」的孩子382Please respect copyright.PENANAdbMTuNVfKq
382Please respect copyright.PENANAQBG9GrCR32
但特殊得來,又不叫人驕傲的特別382Please respect copyright.PENANAMW96wTz6Pa
382Please respect copyright.PENANABsuNHfTdNN
382Please respect copyright.PENANAwDfpfTCI6G
童年、成長、至今,我深知自己和其他人的不同,正因如此,我也因為這份特殊與我該在的地方、該有的身分道出分離宣言
382Please respect copyright.PENANAT1xI1PNWtQ
382Please respect copyright.PENANAhQk0HH5aQ7
不是我害怕382Please respect copyright.PENANA61FknhPE01
382Please respect copyright.PENANAlCr87cSZgG
是害怕自身
382Please respect copyright.PENANAjotkV7poZv
382Please respect copyright.PENANAKdXrNwkdIP
世界很奇怪,只是不一樣的,所謂之「特別」,往往引人恐懼,危險的出現382Please respect copyright.PENANAMjcBU4sMAN
382Please respect copyright.PENANAO5HqBlHNB0
因為不同,意味改變382Please respect copyright.PENANAMEh0Oq3Y4g
382Please respect copyright.PENANAPpAOsO7QGx
縱然沒人希望遇上困難,但又想克服,就只能待困難自己解決、或是自身忽然學懂如何去使吹灰之力的程度382Please respect copyright.PENANA1xA1OROylS
382Please respect copyright.PENANAhu3Evij0y3
卻現實中,是沒有可能發生此種事,萬物不由己生,正如沒有不勞而獲,其之獲的勞,純粹不是由自己付出而已382Please respect copyright.PENANAL1EYZpq0Yl
382Please respect copyright.PENANAZslVVgSHey
這道理382Please respect copyright.PENANAn8mrXDRhN0
382Please respect copyright.PENANAFPs7q1qxLq
我是明白的382Please respect copyright.PENANAHusZNgySio
382Please respect copyright.PENANAjcVvTnxDOd
但又現實中,我做不了什麼,我無法展現自己在這方面的認知382Please respect copyright.PENANAHtBgTnodl2
382Please respect copyright.PENANAcvrTaTlH9r
382Please respect copyright.PENANAHXx9i5GRWF
382Please respect copyright.PENANAMRL7iwuM9S
382Please respect copyright.PENANAou0gd6NaFS
—— 啪喇 ——382Please respect copyright.PENANAa70KWuhjeu
382Please respect copyright.PENANASt99e1xkmR
「廢物!」382Please respect copyright.PENANAqMn6Ql2x3W
「您是吃撐沒事幹嗎?!」382Please respect copyright.PENANAF7BYSneXny
382Please respect copyright.PENANApNSgcso3X9
見玻璃零碎散落,深紅沾在純黑的地毯,清脆響亮的聲響堪比硫磺一發,暗中的深紅滿滲若如蚊餐一地,儘管而言並非直對此方,隱約可見利片刺中了自己382Please respect copyright.PENANAh2KXOGEteZ
382Please respect copyright.PENANAHmdLdbxuM2
「現在有毛有翼曉升天了,作反了哦?!」382Please respect copyright.PENANAO4bJuau6FL
「您究竟是不是真的弱智哦?!」382Please respect copyright.PENANA2150oUNXVb
382Please respect copyright.PENANA6qzrgddU8A
「麻煩製造者⋯您可真是⋯⋯可不可以有點自知之名?」382Please respect copyright.PENANA8l0ggVHz0v
「該死⋯」382Please respect copyright.PENANABcBgO9Ukpb
382Please respect copyright.PENANAfib3VKUoOl
382Please respect copyright.PENANAf4OvlCMgNH
382Please respect copyright.PENANA6EeopKRxiX
使力擦著額,短棕髮的她伸手到黑木桌子,「咻」一聲扯開櫃門,反手便伸入其中,撥開文具,翻走書本,往當中內最深處伸去382Please respect copyright.PENANATmzarTpn7g
382Please respect copyright.PENANAX9VGW9vHVr
數聲粗魯的物品碰撞,還有其後那響亮至耳窒的拍門,女性在視野外掏出一白中漂黃的東西
382Please respect copyright.PENANAQyNcVQNBBe
382Please respect copyright.PENANAJJ2o6P2aVS
象牙製煙斗
382Please respect copyright.PENANAcdjTtqhwDL
382Please respect copyright.PENANAekATaHY7f6
勾在嘴裏,同時從胸前口袋中拿出小圓盒,像口紅的造型,倒是金屬製,畢竟說到底才非打份用382Please respect copyright.PENANAgCmXAM7gPU
382Please respect copyright.PENANAeWfbVlMgSL
熟練地扭開蓋鎖,拇指彈上開蓋,倒轉在煙斗的填裝位,一滴382Please respect copyright.PENANAjFA6L16pfH
382Please respect copyright.PENANA1EEMTZmUX1
「⋯呼⋯⋯」382Please respect copyright.PENANA5YU0njonFG
382Please respect copyright.PENANAMpKD5R7P4g
雜草味,燒靑草的氣味,少許攻鼻,但並不濃,再者也未到刺激的程度,單純是蠻有葉綠味而已,連漂出來的白煙也幾乎不存在,室內散佈最強烈的,唯有植物的味道
382Please respect copyright.PENANATlwyznjOOQ
382Please respect copyright.PENANAHCQjBY1Zns
背對自己,她抽著煙斗,看往窗外
382Please respect copyright.PENANAB9bHS17aFY
382Please respect copyright.PENANAGOTxAxwzCU
不是特別高樓層,當然整座大廈也是己業前提,地方必是自己選址選樓層
382Please respect copyright.PENANAnd8CphrhHK
382Please respect copyright.PENANABX1bkR6JNx
若是較高的位置,是可以看到海景,朝向東邊的海藍天,以及遠方一帶沿海的密集,高樓大廈又有,不起眼的小方塊亦有,熊本縣的各沿海城市,整個一起,掃望而入眼內382Please respect copyright.PENANA8y4lt23lBz
382Please respect copyright.PENANAOSSkxFY37O
382Please respect copyright.PENANAVtuJkEddgb
但她不同,她的選擇往往比任何⋯一般人,自己所想的奇怪,然而又有其論點,要說的話,就是她擁有著不同自己,過於複雜而與別不同的想法382Please respect copyright.PENANATgOY8uaxdl
382Please respect copyright.PENANAD6O3hEUISq
382Please respect copyright.PENANA4HNfPSEGSW
382Please respect copyright.PENANAvwnxM3chwg
作風不一,思考的模式不一樣
382Please respect copyright.PENANAsJv5QDVNJE
382Please respect copyright.PENANAvn65CqfUcD
就好比她不打算把辦公室置於上面,而是這兒,這層,剛好不高於窗戶所面向,商店街的頂蓋,的一層
382Please respect copyright.PENANA2noA0uwXU0
382Please respect copyright.PENANAIMwrgZnS6f
看到車站、酒吧街街頭、商場門口,各種
382Please respect copyright.PENANALM0dy4maxt
382Please respect copyright.PENANA83zGUcHkhF
因為她要真正的「全景」
382Please respect copyright.PENANAMezrme2dwQ
382Please respect copyright.PENANATXvW36slzr
我真的搞不清楚,嘛,無法理解
382Please respect copyright.PENANA4QY7LPFLuL
382Please respect copyright.PENANAWc9PIz9zhm
好比她究竟是怎樣看待自己一樣
382Please respect copyright.PENANAEcr37M7G9Q
382Please respect copyright.PENANAgwOUYrMXRC
我知道,我也明白自己現在可是搞出大麻煩了,不但引起了刑警的注意,還有引致本地一眾不良、暴走族的騷動,現在回望,嘛,還真是想也想不到自己有這麼的能力382Please respect copyright.PENANAmJNX0Fri7z
382Please respect copyright.PENANAVlKLYlvw5u
382Please respect copyright.PENANAI0iL7cfcLg
抑或說,是我一直以來,低估了老姐她的聲譽及影響力382Please respect copyright.PENANAoMnh0F6OtO
382Please respect copyright.PENANAMRXhKejtx4
382Please respect copyright.PENANA1Rj9AMpBNJ
山松組的力量382Please respect copyright.PENANAiRqyF77Ngc
382Please respect copyright.PENANA1yUDgoLsQv
「您到底⋯什麼時候才會學乖呀?混帳⋯」382Please respect copyright.PENANA9B8jY8kwUT
382Please respect copyright.PENANALVIkI44Rnh
回神過來,她已經坐了在那辦工椅上,左腳放右腳膝頭,口中濃吐淡煙,即使口氣稍安定,放大的瞳孔凶剎不爾382Please respect copyright.PENANAoRyJf5LeJ8
382Please respect copyright.PENANAaRzIVj02qK
她是我的姐姐382Please respect copyright.PENANALo2E4JMthM
382Please respect copyright.PENANASVrljYRqyV
山松組的老大382Please respect copyright.PENANAuNaXCL53fl
382Please respect copyright.PENANADIQfv0OH3b
大和英加382Please respect copyright.PENANAFTesmq1HTu
382Please respect copyright.PENANAJAfP10ZFxz
「說話啊」382Please respect copyright.PENANAxEuPlNVLYe
382Please respect copyright.PENANAkFGymQwKi3
央百花382Please respect copyright.PENANABsvJ0B2JIT
382Please respect copyright.PENANAwWOaBXFvMn
382Please respect copyright.PENANAIYCFdL3AON
我努力地站在原處,就這樣一聲不吭,但是視線一交上,就看不了更多,看不到,尋找不到視線可聚落之處,可是呢,她可還生氣著,直對自己382Please respect copyright.PENANAODpuDJeCwH
382Please respect copyright.PENANArH1gGeVUNC
「⋯我可不會當你啞的」
382Please respect copyright.PENANAMstaPVNasj
「⋯⋯你要是不說話⋯那好⋯⋯好⋯」
382Please respect copyright.PENANAGF2x2Nfnq2
「就讓我倆在這,一直⋯一直在這」
382Please respect copyright.PENANAGLZe8SDoFd
「在這一起浪費時間,反正⋯ 我 · 很 · 閒 」382Please respect copyright.PENANAefo3VkJZIl
382Please respect copyright.PENANA1m9XCW0uOj
382Please respect copyright.PENANAUIZ2ujyVPn
「⋯⋯」382Please respect copyright.PENANALqsl8X5JuO
382Please respect copyright.PENANAuEB75uLATi
呼吸聲由緊縫的唇瓣洩出,曾有再多的話,希望反駁、說理,又說不出,不在她面前382Please respect copyright.PENANAg9HwMu5CyB
382Please respect copyright.PENANAE4vn3wbc8v
382Please respect copyright.PENANAGbSiNSIu2X
我不只是害怕,畢竟目前為止,一生中最敬重,亦最不喜歡的,也是她,我的姐姐382Please respect copyright.PENANA1uKcErFjpL
382Please respect copyright.PENANA566XO8BMIr
她為我做了很多,太多,甚至我了解,自己所認知的,只是整幅拼圖的一小塊382Please respect copyright.PENANAStDolElFKh
382Please respect copyright.PENANAuVFVeBROz4
理應我該做好自己就好了,對她來說是最好了382Please respect copyright.PENANAVTZC5D4kmB
382Please respect copyright.PENANAdOTh42YPLF
所以說,我到底做了什麼?382Please respect copyright.PENANAPhDzCDjwi6
382Please respect copyright.PENANAG4KGTkHT2E
我在反叛嗎?可能382Please respect copyright.PENANAXKLrb5xBLh
為了什麼?
為了什麼⋯?
成為些什麼的身分?
為了她的認同?
⋯⋯
我不知道
我自己也搞不清楚
回去一開始談到的地方
我選擇了前者
382Please respect copyright.PENANAIzs9sxn5Vd
讓困難自己解決382Please respect copyright.PENANAxGbCjTL8dw
382Please respect copyright.PENANAdocdwJ1g5N
但困難就是自己382Please respect copyright.PENANAq2iP4EZcUG
382Please respect copyright.PENANAmnbPg1fOuy
所以才裝模作樣,卻又成了反效果,或是說,我從來也沒有想清楚任何事情,而衝進去做382Please respect copyright.PENANA9nIXBoNQyA
382Please respect copyright.PENANAua20MSC5KG
我做事沒腦根、理性,是後來的事情,日益嚴重,動不動就動氣,感性行事,這樣子便不用想了,不用想太多了382Please respect copyright.PENANAq6I5Lo61KG
382Please respect copyright.PENANAs00ZAWciS0
不用去想更多平時的負面了382Please respect copyright.PENANA8iRhnFUNEt
382Please respect copyright.PENANA3S5x7cxMM4
單憑感覺行事382Please respect copyright.PENANAYLELPavRaa
382Please respect copyright.PENANAHZFCN013E3
這樣子便不用去研究他人的目光、想法,自己的得失,將來的後果,麻煩的各種382Please respect copyright.PENANAAF6AZWjeHB
382Please respect copyright.PENANAfhFrN8vYOC
反正本身裏頭已經積累了太多382Please respect copyright.PENANAEB4hGB4lmi
382Please respect copyright.PENANAVRohSjPtje
確實地問我,是不是很想孤立自己?382Please respect copyright.PENANABph60Z0G2R
382Please respect copyright.PENANAJp5OqEDg3F
別開玩笑382Please respect copyright.PENANAo22XciHjzL
382Please respect copyright.PENANALYp7JlWLuZ
但我有選擇嗎?382Please respect copyright.PENANA8xX73317mY
382Please respect copyright.PENANA0mFLZusCUU
382Please respect copyright.PENANAjRoWnjdtDv
注定無法「正常」地生活的我,注定混混噩噩過日子的自己,大概⋯本身已經叫姐姐她傷心了吧?382Please respect copyright.PENANAl4w7bzIish
382Please respect copyright.PENANAPq3WTeN7ur
不過單是自己也是382Please respect copyright.PENANAwczedOI8si
382Please respect copyright.PENANAN8CErbgSVX
我不想這樣子382Please respect copyright.PENANAgpSkQyJUSA
382Please respect copyright.PENANAmoaiECZNCs
382Please respect copyright.PENANA7vX6eu30Cq
我不希望這樣子的「特別」382Please respect copyright.PENANAuiscI6LPU5
382Please respect copyright.PENANAbo83Udzejk
382Please respect copyright.PENANAJ1dVtarlb8
但對自己來說,所謂的「未來」已是注定的
不能做到什麼
不能實現什麼
那怕是已經放棄得崩潰、討厭自己
也不能有什麼改變
我看不到明天,也看不到昨天
但⋯有分別嗎?
382Please respect copyright.PENANAgRRNWqntBL
當初的命運已經被注定,因為自己是大和氏,因為和那混帳有關係,因為⋯因為382Please respect copyright.PENANA4rXkNAwHet
382Please respect copyright.PENANAhHDwB8tQqp
我根本沒有能力去保護自己382Please respect copyright.PENANAAf8vCaISZK
382Please respect copyright.PENANAwfy9jFFb2L
沒有能力382Please respect copyright.PENANAYwE1Nz2JDQ
382Please respect copyright.PENANAFoXybKQDX9
一直以來也是382Please respect copyright.PENANAt8EoFnz0Jl
382Please respect copyright.PENANA7mZiHsGzhs
382Please respect copyright.PENANAsZNFJwlU1k
我⋯⋯382Please respect copyright.PENANA26rzvTKUzx
382Please respect copyright.PENANAY3wH9XlHDg
382Please respect copyright.PENANATROhgLY4gS
我382Please respect copyright.PENANAYxkpNk41bT
382Please respect copyright.PENANAXUbWo4lc79
382Please respect copyright.PENANA06Qxb3qY6f
382Please respect copyright.PENANAnYTNXovkhm
382Please respect copyright.PENANAnyXSBn42ZX
382Please respect copyright.PENANAzr1hh5FBnp
382Please respect copyright.PENANAkAOKfofIZC
我根本沒有選擇382Please respect copyright.PENANA2V63RPWXUZ
382Please respect copyright.PENANAnCILzSRzX0
382Please respect copyright.PENANAsj1McBv6mb
現在的話,選不選擇也沒差別吧⋯382Please respect copyright.PENANAphH2AFUg5I
382Please respect copyright.PENANAvyb75ncnPs
382Please respect copyright.PENANAGwg0HPqzeQ
算啦⋯382Please respect copyright.PENANA2t2X27OgIK
382Please respect copyright.PENANAb1qmFHLu6k
就讓我自暴自棄吧
將我棄之不理吧
但一定,一定
一定會被反對為結果吧
382Please respect copyright.PENANAS2YMISmVGn
382Please respect copyright.PENANA57N9o60KrC
382Please respect copyright.PENANAZCwb9qCrQJ
382Please respect copyright.PENANAEz2x35Mkni
「⋯」382Please respect copyright.PENANAySphSRDU7A
382Please respect copyright.PENANACtIzIOXJ8x
382Please respect copyright.PENANA1ZqeppYYCX
怎也沒所謂了382Please respect copyright.PENANAHbLViI7O7S
382Please respect copyright.PENANAHPwznEmae7
382Please respect copyright.PENANAF9evrD0A0F
「⋯算了」382Please respect copyright.PENANA0extPT1WJS
「我要出去食晚飯了」382Please respect copyright.PENANAtwJhBbiVoI
「你打算怎樣子呢」382Please respect copyright.PENANAqwGKtjBSQm
382Please respect copyright.PENANAw9wesXr2yA
382Please respect copyright.PENANApp7D9Y4Ziq
382Please respect copyright.PENANASV97CixUgp
「⋯⋯嗯」382Please respect copyright.PENANAoIm5r0UG4I
382Please respect copyright.PENANAI2UQp3gHIn
382Please respect copyright.PENANAGGfGgwY4Tz
382Please respect copyright.PENANAHJoyIO7rxA
382Please respect copyright.PENANAXu5u0ATDE4
沒所謂了382Please respect copyright.PENANAGapvwSdA6m
382Please respect copyright.PENANAjHElffUfG2
382Please respect copyright.PENANAc9CDNgIfAG
「⋯⋯」382Please respect copyright.PENANA54WcnOBQ5W
382Please respect copyright.PENANAnFDrMc27df
382Please respect copyright.PENANAVhn7ZwkdLJ
382Please respect copyright.PENANAQb97QQhGmY
反正我就是生下來那刻開始被詛咒了382Please respect copyright.PENANARIgUe9mXzK
382Please respect copyright.PENANAKaXnOkuSKk
反正是我自己弄到自己得如此下場382Please respect copyright.PENANAgRF0LWSndu
382Please respect copyright.PENANAnTQ8yevFv6
反正382Please respect copyright.PENANAI3EtxslqNs
382Please respect copyright.PENANATvgGwbi0Nb
382Please respect copyright.PENANAECbXuYeYLI
「⋯」382Please respect copyright.PENANATyhNI3ZbkQ
382Please respect copyright.PENANAQNcRgV57zQ
「笨蛋」382Please respect copyright.PENANAnjdfSCFJcx
382Please respect copyright.PENANAayJoLJHhUH
我是不值得被愛被相信的惡名之子