惡名之下
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致不想回想起的記憶
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我不是那種「一般」的孩子382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbMTuNVfKq
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBG9GrCR32
但特殊得來，又不叫人驕傲的特別382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMW96wTz6Pa
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童年、成長、至今，我深知自己和其他人的不同，正因如此，我也因為這份特殊與我該在的地方、該有的身分道出分離宣言
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT1xI1PNWtQ
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不是我害怕382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61FknhPE01
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCr87cSZgG
是害怕自身
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382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdXrNwkdIP
世界很奇怪，只是不一樣的，所謂之「特別」，往往引人恐懼，危險的出現382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjcBU4sMAN
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5HqBlHNB0
因為不同，意味改變382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMEh0Oq3Y4g
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPpAOsO7QGx
縱然沒人希望遇上困難，但又想克服，就只能待困難自己解決、或是自身忽然學懂如何去使吹灰之力的程度382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xA1OROylS
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhu3Evij0y3
卻現實中，是沒有可能發生此種事，萬物不由己生，正如沒有不勞而獲，其之獲的勞，純粹不是由自己付出而已382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL1EYZpq0Yl
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZslVVgSHey
這道理382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8mrXDRhN0
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPs7q1qxLq
我是明白的382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHusZNgySio
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcVvTnxDOd
但又現實中，我做不了什麼，我無法展現自己在這方面的認知382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtBgTnodl2
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvrTaTlH9r
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXx9i5GRWF
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRL7iwuM9S
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡou0gd6NaFS
—— 啪喇 ——382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa70KWuhjeu
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSt99e1xkmR
「廢物！」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMn6Ql2x3W
「您是吃撐沒事幹嗎？！」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7BYSneXny
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNSgcso3X9
見玻璃零碎散落，深紅沾在純黑的地毯，清脆響亮的聲響堪比硫磺一發，暗中的深紅滿滲若如蚊餐一地，儘管而言並非直對此方，隱約可見利片刺中了自己382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2KXOGEteZ
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmdLdbxuM2
「現在有毛有翼曉升天了，作反了哦？！」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4bJuau6FL
「您究竟是不是真的弱智哦？！」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2150oUNXVb
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qzrgddU8A
「麻煩製造者⋯您可真是⋯⋯可不可以有點自知之名？」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8l0ggVHz0v
「該死⋯」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcBgO9Ukpb
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfib3VKUoOl
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使力擦著額，短棕髮的她伸手到黑木桌子，「咻」一聲扯開櫃門，反手便伸入其中，撥開文具，翻走書本，往當中內最深處伸去382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmzarTpn7g
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX9VGW9vHVr
數聲粗魯的物品碰撞，還有其後那響亮至耳窒的拍門，女性在視野外掏出一白中漂黃的東西
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyNcVQNBBe
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJ2o6P2aVS
象牙製煙斗
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382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡekATaHY7f6
勾在嘴裏，同時從胸前口袋中拿出小圓盒，像口紅的造型，倒是金屬製，畢竟說到底才非打份用382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCmXAM7gPU
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWfbVlMgSL
熟練地扭開蓋鎖，拇指彈上開蓋，倒轉在煙斗的填裝位，一滴382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFA6L16pfH
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1EEMTZmUX1
「⋯呼⋯⋯」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YU0njonFG
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpKD5R7P4g
雜草味，燒靑草的氣味，少許攻鼻，但並不濃，再者也未到刺激的程度，單純是蠻有葉綠味而已，連漂出來的白煙也幾乎不存在，室內散佈最強烈的，唯有植物的味道
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382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCQjBY1Zns
背對自己，她抽著煙斗，看往窗外
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382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOTxAxwzCU
不是特別高樓層，當然整座大廈也是己業前提，地方必是自己選址選樓層
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382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBX1bkR6JNx
若是較高的位置，是可以看到海景，朝向東邊的海藍天，以及遠方一帶沿海的密集，高樓大廈又有，不起眼的小方塊亦有，熊本縣的各沿海城市，整個一起，掃望而入眼內382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8y4lt23lBz
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSSkxFY37O
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtuJkEddgb
但她不同，她的選擇往往比任何⋯一般人，自己所想的奇怪，然而又有其論點，要說的話，就是她擁有著不同自己，過於複雜而與別不同的想法382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgOY8uaxdl
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6O3hEUISq
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4HNfPSEGSW
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvwnxM3chwg
作風不一，思考的模式不一樣
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382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvn65CqfUcD
就好比她不打算把辦公室置於上面，而是這兒，這層，剛好不高於窗戶所面向，商店街的頂蓋，的一層
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2noA0uwXU0
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMwrgZnS6f
看到車站、酒吧街街頭、商場門口，各種
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLM0dy4maxt
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83zGUcHkhF
因為她要真正的「全景」
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382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTXvW36slzr
我真的搞不清楚，嘛，無法理解
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QY7LPFLuL
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWc9PIz9zhm
好比她究竟是怎樣看待自己一樣
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcr37M7G9Q
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwOUYrMXRC
我知道，我也明白自己現在可是搞出大麻煩了，不但引起了刑警的注意，還有引致本地一眾不良、暴走族的騷動，現在回望，嘛，還真是想也想不到自己有這麼的能力382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJNX0Fri7z
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVlKLYlvw5u
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0iL7cfcLg
抑或說，是我一直以來，低估了老姐她的聲譽及影響力382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoMnh0F6OtO
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRXhKejtx4
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Rj9AMpBNJ
山松組的力量382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRqyF77Ngc
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1yUDgoLsQv
「您到底⋯什麼時候才會學乖呀？混帳⋯」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9B8jY8kwUT
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVIkI44Rnh
回神過來，她已經坐了在那辦工椅上，左腳放右腳膝頭，口中濃吐淡煙，即使口氣稍安定，放大的瞳孔凶剎不爾382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRyJf5LeJ8
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRzIVj02qK
她是我的姐姐382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLo2E4JMthM
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVrljYRqyV
山松組的老大382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNaXCL53fl
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIQfv0OH3b
大和英加382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTesmq1HTu
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJAfP10ZFxz
「說話啊」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxEuPlNVLYe
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFGymQwKi3
央百花382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsvJ0B2JIT
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWOaBXFvMn
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIYCFdL3AON
我努力地站在原處，就這樣一聲不吭，但是視線一交上，就看不了更多，看不到，尋找不到視線可聚落之處，可是呢，她可還生氣著，直對自己382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODpuDJeCwH
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrH1gGeVUNC
「⋯我可不會當你啞的」
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMstaPVNasj
「⋯⋯你要是不說話⋯那好⋯⋯好⋯」
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGF2x2Nfnq2
「就讓我倆在這，一直⋯一直在這」
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLZe8SDoFd
「在這一起浪費時間，反正⋯ 我 · 很 · 閒 」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefo3VkJZIl
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1m9XCW0uOj
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIZ2ujyVPn
「⋯⋯」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqsl8X5JuO
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEB75uLATi
呼吸聲由緊縫的唇瓣洩出，曾有再多的話，希望反駁、說理，又說不出，不在她面前382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9HwMu5CyB
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4vn3wbc8v
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbSiNSIu2X
我不只是害怕，畢竟目前為止，一生中最敬重，亦最不喜歡的，也是她，我的姐姐382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uKcErFjpL
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ566XO8BMIr
她為我做了很多，太多，甚至我了解，自己所認知的，只是整幅拼圖的一小塊382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStDolElFKh
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuVFVeBROz4
理應我該做好自己就好了，對她來說是最好了382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTZC5D4kmB
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOTh42YPLF
所以說，我到底做了什麼？382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhDzCDjwi6
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4KGTkHT2E
我在反叛嗎？可能382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKLrb5xBLh
為了什麼？
為了什麼⋯？
成為些什麼的身分？
為了她的認同？
⋯⋯
我不知道
我自己也搞不清楚
回去一開始談到的地方
我選擇了前者
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzs9sxn5Vd
讓困難自己解決382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxGbCjTL8dw
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdocdwJ1g5N
但困難就是自己382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq2iP4EZcUG
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmnbPg1fOuy
所以才裝模作樣，卻又成了反效果，或是說，我從來也沒有想清楚任何事情，而衝進去做382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nIXBoNQyA
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡua20MSC5KG
我做事沒腦根、理性，是後來的事情，日益嚴重，動不動就動氣，感性行事，這樣子便不用想了，不用想太多了382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq6I5Lo61KG
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs00ZAWciS0
不用去想更多平時的負面了382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iRhnFUNEt
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3S5x7cxMM4
單憑感覺行事382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLELPavRaa
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZFCN013E3
這樣子便不用去研究他人的目光、想法，自己的得失，將來的後果，麻煩的各種382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAF6AZWjeHB
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhFrN8vYOC
反正本身裏頭已經積累了太多382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEB4hGB4lmi
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVRohSjPtje
確實地問我，是不是很想孤立自己？382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBph60Z0G2R
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別開玩笑382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo22XciHjzL
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但我有選擇嗎？382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xX73317mY
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mFLZusCUU
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRoWnjdtDv
注定無法「正常」地生活的我，注定混混噩噩過日子的自己，大概⋯本身已經叫姐姐她傷心了吧？382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4w7bzIish
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPq3WTeN7ur
不過單是自己也是382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwczedOI8si
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我不想這樣子382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgpSkQyJUSA
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoaiECZNCs
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vX6eu30Cq
我不希望這樣子的「特別」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiscI6LPU5
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbo83Udzejk
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1dVtarlb8
但對自己來說，所謂的「未來」已是注定的
不能做到什麼
不能實現什麼
那怕是已經放棄得崩潰、討厭自己
也不能有什麼改變
我看不到明天，也看不到昨天
但⋯有分別嗎？
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRRNWqntBL
當初的命運已經被注定，因為自己是大和氏，因為和那混帳有關係，因為⋯因為382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rXkNAwHet
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHDwB8tQqp
我根本沒有能力去保護自己382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAf8vCaISZK
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwfy9jFFb2L
沒有能力382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwE1Nz2JDQ
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一直以來也是382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt8EoFnz0Jl
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mZiHsGzhs
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZNFJwlU1k
我⋯⋯382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26rzvTKUzx
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3wH9XlHDg
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTROhgLY4gS
我382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxkpNk41bT
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUbWo4lc79
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ06Qxb3qY6f
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYTNXovkhm
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我根本沒有選擇382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2V63RPWXUZ
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCILzSRzX0
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsj1McBv6mb
現在的話，選不選擇也沒差別吧⋯382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphH2AFUg5I
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyb75ncnPs
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算啦⋯382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2t2X27OgIK
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1qmFHLu6k
就讓我自暴自棄吧
將我棄之不理吧
但一定，一定
一定會被反對為結果吧
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS2YMISmVGn
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「⋯」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySphSRDU7A
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怎也沒所謂了382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbLViI7O7S
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPwznEmae7
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF9evrD0A0F
「⋯算了」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0extPT1WJS
「我要出去食晚飯了」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtwJhBbiVoI
「你打算怎樣子呢」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwGKtjBSQm
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「⋯⋯嗯」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIm5r0UG4I
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382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJoyIO7rxA
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沒所謂了382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGapvwSdA6m
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHElffUfG2
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「⋯⋯」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54WcnOBQ5W
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382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhn7ZwkdLJ
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQb97QQhGmY
反正我就是生下來那刻開始被詛咒了382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIgUe9mXzK
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKaXnOkuSKk
反正是我自己弄到自己得如此下場382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRF0LWSndu
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反正382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3EtxslqNs
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「⋯」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTyhNI3ZbkQ
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「笨蛋」382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjdfSCFJcx
382Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡayJoLJHhUH
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