致美好正常的過去
如何才能再次像一個正常人地存在生活
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其實作為宿主，並不是唯一死刑303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeibn8hpfE
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前提，是特殊情況之下303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHMGjjUV3A
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這也是大概為什麼KDUL能趕到此地的原因吧303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0V4qIGANA
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大概303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLBpRLaK1H
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這也是為什麼我一開始如此被幼稚騎劫理性的原因303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT69Eli2n34
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這也是為什麼我的人生如此「不正常」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNqBq0XIFu
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「⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJPnrUPdGB
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突然間吹來的陣風，由兩腿直上，大腿、大腿內側，臉到眼皮上，睜眼303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZlGuff5TAA
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「⋯⋯啊？呀？！啊？！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVSsUxZxIY
「不、不要！拜、拜托！別捉弄人家了！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFniw1gGzs
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想直接鑽入桶內，雖叫不可行，若把裙子扯至能遮蔽的地方，可是會遭流水沾到，在極致羞恥的時候303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKR5sZAfZkx
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不良日常性時候303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvrkHcETOr
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身體總是遲遲未能反應，倒是淚會第一時間衝出，明明是不會有對手和其比得到反應速度，再說，不要論這般只是叫他們變本加厲303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGCGHBSurL
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「還『人家人家』，女生又不是，男生又不是，人妖就人妖啦！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXo9TVaeMbg
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「哇～來看看娘娘腔！噁～」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOr49bwvIWZ
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「不要這樣啦！是半個女生⋯半個怪物啦！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfr8mVokqla
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「你們不要這樣說水無月啦！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIo04cAzfZr
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「對、對呀！好壞哦！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkE0tl882G
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「嗯～可是呢，要不是待下他變怪物咬人啦！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdgL5c5y42
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「看呀！有尾巴和耳朵了！」
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崎品宿主是有後天性以外的可能，先天性，我就是其一，跨代遺傳，親父母經過詳細驗證後，結果仍為陰性，但舅父⋯
『不要！不要！求你了！』
『好痛喔！停下來嘛！！』
『嗚咽啊！！唔咳咿呀！』
『嗚咽⋯』
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⋯⋯簡單來說，是剛巧地，遺傳了基因缺陷303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOVPwPDouk
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由誕生的那瞬間，身體患輕微白化病，更是出現了雙性徵⋯先天缺陷*，而原因？是因為崎品的激素，影響的不直接是我，而是母家的基因，對崎品的感染不抗拒性，先天傳了下來，我便在母體內感染，便這樣⋯來到了世上303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79l5wn1mRs
*(5-alpha-reductase deficiency)
被當成異類般303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaU86HVFqHb
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「呀！來了、來了！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHxJcrAY7W
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「走啊～」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnw2ar94GHj
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而怪物、猛獸，若是想與人共聚，必須有所牽制，有能防止其「暴亂」的存在，有一個「主人」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarJxQLBP3k
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構成「異類」的形象，是分別要有兩種因素 —— 「怪異」 和 「不親和性」，我的存在主要是前者，而有後者特性的，是⋯303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUfe3W0qHn
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他303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡau4DmCsdg3
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「又被欺負了嗎？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE71LYRLgY3
MUC- 311602，3月11日16時02分，是我誕生的那刻
以自己出生時間為名的他，是我人生第一個遇見的人形，也是伴隨我成長的唯一，不是「朋友」，也絕不可能是，但我承認他存在，使我真正成為「怪物」的存在303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiyP8RkuEhK
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並非和現在，即此刻，普遍所見的人形設計明顯地不一，應該是和現在日本廳長同一型號，我才不知道，只是認得同樣的白色，如水晶一樣反光的皮膚，還有如膠管一樣的頭髮303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb2IghXUACz
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可能是那不平常的外表，也可能是仔細觀察，便能得見腰間的鋁合金盒子，還有那冰冷的氣場303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbLegD2cmc
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老實說，當唯一照顧、保護自己也是帶來傷害的，就特別顯得自己孤獨，因為沒有其他人去依賴，不得不望向唯一，守望同時傷害自己的他，這也是為什麼他從來並不是我的朋友，我恨他，但也無可奈何地，他不在身邊自己則是會被傷害，恨不下，愛不上，若是重來不有他的存在的話，反是好303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYFMmvlbuTi
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先天性宿主，除了有人形監視外還有晶片，頸部植入一塊追蹤及有抑制系統之晶片，喲，不就放生的標準動作無誤嘛？303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfbgzMwrz1
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⋯⋯303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuFQTZ4SOq6
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怎也好呢303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDhZX3f0FJ
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「⋯⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4fXmThCEZ
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「為什麼不鎖門呢？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiGsmBHttO
「去廁所也好歹開個燈呢⋯不阻你了」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCyTeIReS7
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—— 咔 ——303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AwujMMBik
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⋯303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6FtEi2vSv
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⋯⋯303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2MEdStwSB
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「⋯⋯就是不想讓人知道我在這呀⋯啊⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUb8mvqoqU0
「嗚⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfPA3n4SrY
本來以為到中學便會情況有所好轉，但不見得
關上位於男廁和女廁之間的大門，位於午膳時間的走廊不算多人，但任憑一對好奇、厭惡，有眼色的視線落在身上，便如同把自己摳打著303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHGaiTi4yG
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最好便把自己弄到和標誌上的人同一個模樣303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTHYyQOwXXO
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傷殘
「同學，請問——」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1fh3OM6yC
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「啊？！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzo7ALXgj4
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—— 啪噹 ——303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbblJcCElcp
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害怕視線交流，也害怕交流本身303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgbZA3tp7OT
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但儘管這樣，自己也希望「正常」起來，和那孩子一樣，和這孩子一樣，和⋯303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlL0J7kX6SB
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她一樣303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAP9V4pIfZ9
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乖巧、友善、親人，她是我的相反303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMsOCUBZ6Z
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在我的眼中，她根本是另一個世界的人303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzieRPOdiAA
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「對不起！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWmTjpqBgL4
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拾起地上的餐具，裏面為紅色，外面則是黑色的便當盒，低著頭，跪在地上，不行，不能，我討厭這樣，拜托離開我吧，請——303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU1P2MZWZJb
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「來」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLSk5KwL8V
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「⋯謝謝」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYVtZMq09D
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我討厭這樣的自己，特別是在她面前，在襯衫胸袋上有紅字黃底襟章的她前，作為風紀股長的她前303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuGjn0gFYAk
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怎麼説呢，或許在初中的我，存在只會被她確定303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMg1Fi4Igl
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雖然實際上的欺凌少了，但取而代之，是絕對的冷漠，情況不可以叫好轉，說到底，我並不是那種凡事沒問題，可接受的人，嘛，好歹是個頑固的，自己不相信自己是，好歹⋯303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKjKmYHzRe
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我並不是沒遇過更壞的事303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybJXvFxJiH
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「那個，水無月？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMCfbhI6Ys
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「怎麼了？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOrIskM2Brn
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正因這樣，我不希望在唯一前，做出會被否定的行為，例如表現得像個孩子，表現失禮⋯被發現是「廁所飯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUDaYIYzvNw
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各種303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyGuIjXDpGd
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所以說，活得正常，對於自己來說的話，難道是奢侈的嗎？303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXP4SWolMg7
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「⋯我回來了」
快樂是一種⋯只能回顧的味道，因為太容易習慣，就好像不到零下一度就總是以為暑假一定是三十度，熱時寧願凍，冷時寧願天氣熱，會習慣、忘記、太輕易被其他情緒蓋過、混於一起，是説在開心的時候不會察覺自己在笑的道理303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNcOXZ7HIV
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且只能回味303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuO5p94Ce1o
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「回來了嗎，島見？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWDTr6HOYf
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「嗯，回來了，媽媽⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡON02C0U9aY
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放下背包是確實地放下了負累，仍然是前所未有的感覺，當然，回味的時候才發覺，畢竟那時的感覺，純粹是當下，是「發生了」而已303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcTK5p6dzx
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「喲，島見，聽媽媽說，媽媽今天——」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdlibFroTh
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「媽媽⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4w8mGzAGOO
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「⋯⋯是的？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKj8KfCMH0Y
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回想起來，自己啊，真是不會珍惜，不知足呢303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7h0jxrJjBj
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「明天也是⋯便當不用弄我的份了」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OoGy3Kvcb
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語畢，我跑到樓上去，嘗試把微笑藏著，但有些情緒是不能隱藏起來，例如自小的抑鬱與自卑，還有這刻極為奇特的轉變，媽媽知道，爸爸也是，一直以來也知道，這點我也知道303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyLG7q6rjJ
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我可不是小孩子了⋯⋯呢303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvBdAP3H1L
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呢303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1xUuRJjqJ
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開始了不知多久，三個月？至少一個學期吧，事情就如此突然，事情就如此戲劇性，能和她一起，彷彿為一個幻想，不同世界的人，居然可以坐在這裏，我居然會被人照顧，世上接納自己的外人居然存在303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8w4UwC4Ox
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幸福曾經存在，我經歷過，品嚐過，居然能有如此的一刻303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17oDee0VyC
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來得太突然了
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「那個，水無月，怎說呢⋯本來還以為你是個⋯怎說呢⋯⋯難親近的人呢」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhwGBiTMNI
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也太順利了
也才得意忘形
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「赤⋯賀羽醬可真是個好朋友呢！」
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太過成功才使人後悔啊303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTv5CPv8Ca
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—— 噗 ——303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqGet9Ae4x
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如果時間能稍微走慢點就好呢⋯303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvpqo5msTI
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如果⋯303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWM495YYknl
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持續這樣順利就好了呢⋯⋯303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNijjV735Nl
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來得太突然了，去得太突然303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCZNYPJn1a
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「⋯對不起⋯⋯賀羽，我也不想的——」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzZx9AyQs2
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消息是事實，將會發生，不久之後，即使伸出雙手，也抓不住多少，留不下什麼，什麼也沒有，改變不了什麼303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwX0JZRxExr
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「你和人家道歉有什麼用啊⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CqkeKDNL5
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「⋯對不起⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDpm2z0f77
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對不起有什麼用？303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnTpms63bW
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道歉又有什麼用？303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOt8KbRvoCO
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卻303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYkqLsVypfF
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如何裝飾過的精麗動人的言詞，終究改變不了303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmLPj6Wt91
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要説再見了嗎？303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxgra9d02da
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我不想303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1pqMdOeGA
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我不想笑著，和若無其事一樣，說再見，回到那個「正常」的日子，回歸那樣的生活中303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENXjFHQuiq
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這下子不只是離別，是失去，奪走303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkbyl4wpQI
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我不想那樣子303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MZxPvypDS
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但如同自己所提及，我做不了什麼，不，其實可能是有，或許有這麼個機會，我找不到而已，我不肯去找而已303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwnuXx8kv6
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對，我經不起失敗，我承受不了錯誤了303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChjaiqmRkm
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不在這般的前半生之後303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cCEnwzeSj
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⋯⋯303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgHUNcY75z
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無論如何，日子倒是來了303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AuOCpj3LH
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最後的笑容，就在當刻303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6HOHVsFyb
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無人知曉的山林，看不到任何建築物，唯見山林和草木拼起的大地，背著式微的陽光，黃昏的太陽到此刻亦為燃燒自己的存在而已，靠在她的懷中，帽外套吸收的陽光、溫暖叫我熱得出汗，但不行，我不可以放手，放不了手，我才不要這樣子結束303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBhww7ykfm
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—— 啾 ——303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7l7UIsUop
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我不接受303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe07XLXaTSE
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「賀羽⋯？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXNFquOTo4
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—— 啾 ——303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7hVPCjtyS
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「賀⋯⋯羽⋯這樣⋯⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwDO07xv4s
「啾⋯咕⋯⋯不⋯唔⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbQKknSfuG
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我不接受這樣的結果303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrryTVpjMp
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「嗚哇啊？！！賀羽！住、住手！拜託了！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLmmE9eEGQ
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當時的我，只是任憑感覺去而已303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1AMDiRjEK
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「不、不行啊！！嗚哇！賀羽！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1El4e871hq
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我的本性303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pGT1On5Xp
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「救命呀！嗚 —— 救我 ——」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCOJdCcJDa
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—— 啪 ——303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLXJXbI3Ep
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我終究只是野獸而已呢303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5LD0gDxS6
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「⋯怎麼？！呀⋯？！嗚！停下來！求你了！！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7fVmKCGHzG
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「沒用的⋯你自己看呀⋯哈哈⋯⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1PSL7wjGk
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而作為人形野獸真的該死303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLBS2iJ0nu
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如此痛苦也是活該303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYc9NskhUFm
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忘記不能也是303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoUisHYkt9L
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「我可把晶片挖出來了！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMhL5A5pZuE
「現在靜靜的認命吧！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIimkaACjrk
「張開口！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYa4xplg2F
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「嗚咳啊⋯嗯？！咳 —— 咕唔？！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehMz6xTw72
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發現了嗎？303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDqYB2yaiUb
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「好痛啊！不、不要！！咿嗚哇啊！」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFKBuzWI9I
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這可是我的「正常」呀
自討苦吃的日常
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這道、那道疤痕也是，見證著303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGAt51gh6Q
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我的「正常」，純粹自欺欺人而已
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯嗚⋯咽⋯⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlyrZbWqMz
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「為什麼⋯⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdmhrAaKZ4m
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我所嚮往的303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVjrgdyuNn
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所謂的303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpwgmt26Ys
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「正常」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSJyVoT3ACx
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純粹是個謊言303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14qwmGW28C
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「嗚⋯嗚⋯⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxue2L694Bl
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「⋯你要是說出去，我可真的把你殺了」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2K9Y4IxTX7
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⋯⋯303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCOND27htQ
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所以說，我是異類嗎？303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4km2962GCq
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「⋯⋯再見了」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSImHoFF2D
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當然303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObX7VwdxLA
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那麼這份「不正常」是自出生而有的嗎？
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「切」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszD33VwgRt
「等了這麼久⋯嗯？」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsbYZZbnMP
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氣息在小巷傳來，張開眼睛，長髮的，走過了我的狩獵範圍303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3r2HAh1m6
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「嘿⋯」303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTmINRJ7Kp
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自討而已303Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZFr8LFGso
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正常，從來只是一個藉口
快樂便是生活著而活得有意義
大概吧？
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然後按「加至主畫面」