dushman-e-jaan - Anti-Hinata - Hinata’s character is deeper than the Mariana Trench, people! Open your Goddamn eyes!

Hinata’s character is deeper than the Mariana Trench, people! Open your Goddamn eyes!

I know, right? Naruto’s given meanie stares by the villagers:

Can’t you see Hinata on the panels? Oh my God, you guys! She’s right there in the crowd! Right ducking there. You don’t see her? She just fled the panel. Don’t be a hater. She does this finger thing and mumbles and stuff, too:

Can’t you see that it’s so freaking deep? She said this:

Then she ~~got her ass whooped~~ took the burden of Neji’s hatred:

That was Hinata’s shining moment. Heck, she’s remembered fondly by us all ’cause Neji ~~drilled~~ serviced her Head-Family ~~privileged ass~~ posterior. You go, Hime!

Then … what did she do afterwards? Uh, my head hurts. Anyway, let’s skip the stupid Part I and head off to Shippuden ’cause who needs the manga when Hime’s so deep?

Isn’t that adorable? Her fainting is a metaphor for her being the moon to Naruto’s sun. If you look closely, Kishimoto gave her complexion a darker shade here that obviously means night to Naruto’s swarthy sun-like skin-color. We know these things. Use your head, people! She isn’t straight and simple like a pencil; she’s twisted and complex like a Jalebi:

Then she was a part of the Squad where she used her ~~Binoculars~~ Byakugan and … saw really far, and uh … well, let’s move on ahead to the Pain arc! Remember her confession? ~~Yes, the one that nearly got everyone killed!~~

She had another grand moment of ~~one-paneled ass-whooping~~ Hime-in-shining armor here:

This one’s even better:

If they ask her about the accuracy of Konoha’s map, she’d be able to tell them from first-hand experience about the bird’s eye-view of Konoha Village. Isn’t she useful?

In the war-arc, she slapped Naruto’s joint back in-place, ~~but it isn’t as if an entire medic-corps was on the battlefield who could’ve done that, too~~:

Against the Jubi she tried her hardest, you guys. The damn thing just wouldn’t go down, ~~even though she was the only k-11 Shinobi that didn’t take a single Jubi Clone down~~:

Oh my God! Did you see her deflecting the spikes that ordinary grunt Shinobi were deflecting, too:

What’s with you Hinata-Haters? All right, so she never surpassed Genin Neji, but it isn’t as if she knows Rotation and Body Blow that Neji knew since his Genin days. They’re also Head Family Jutsus only, but who the duck cares? She slapped Naruto’s face and averted a potential World-War 5, okay? Cut her some slack!

She stood there and grabbed Naruto’s big and strong thing while Neji’s corpse began to smell funky. She saved Naruto from the ordeal of the smell and another trauma:

She’s just coping, all right? She saw with her ~~binoculars~~ Byakugan that it’s really small:

She’s accepting! Besides, Hinata goes for quantity over quality. Naruto can compensate for his lack of size by using three Kage Bunshin no Jutsus in place of one to occupy her Hime-Chan down there. See, she’s understanding. She’s got the biggest heart. Oh my gosh!

Then when Naruto was about to kick the bucket, she ran ~~and dug a trench with her mug~~ and fell down, ~~even though Kurama’s cloak was still on her~~, and couldn’t get up:

She’s asking her dead cousin to save her ~~OTP~~ one true love. How can you not feel for that?

Meanwhile:

Uh, haters!

Then she landed on Naruto’s penis after knitting a lot, married him, and popped out two beautiful ~~hideous~~ children, ~~one of whom smashed her bentō~~. That’s true character development. They’ve got a beautiful family and she’d always be a ~~Chunin~~ Jounin at heart!

I cried, okay. This was … beautiful!

Look, how much she loves Naruto with her big … uh, hearts! Two of them!