第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5X2WS0svWq
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YhH9gESXK
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還沒有學會「接受」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5guGQBeTVA
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接受現實498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5s7LjjOmKd
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因為認為是屈服498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMVAZpBvW3c
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感覺好像自己在投降498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHiAjmdBRE
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放棄一切498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqf7zVFnU06
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpuuaSBkig
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnsq5qODivk
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認為是這樣子的狂妄498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWZVWXmR9Bz
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無他498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrRKdoViZDK
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說是愚痴也不過份498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAd9WcErj9C
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只是她不相信498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNEkBD0ClY
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懷疑498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oPUrf27fU
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她⋯⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu3gMZ6QiEj
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「⋯⋯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GyXi9OtwH
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhXSMhTqIVk
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單單是想像也有夠不安498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULguW3ejaQ
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagpQxUkObi
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6u8pHiKw3k
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唯一句498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYOab7xnGi
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當局者迷，旁觀者清498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiCx82Lw99I
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQYSdwogza
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlkEybeY4j
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——————498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmM1fo11owi
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2kmxoO7tq
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且不死，無法殺死498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiF1ys8pDq
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——————498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivxlR1Pq6D
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人家已經很盡力了498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvtynd0Ebo
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH74gv6rW8h
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憤怒498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡissiVIeGTm
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ94WRl5ZN88
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因為我沒有用498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpdrWmcgIE
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNMJkYIVqJ
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1P7M2KFVj6
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB30aLpg3e6
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6h6nXOhZgL
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrKC1kg0Mg
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQ27h28rMB
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7N46E5BLk
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8ZvOtmhPi
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqVuVxD6If
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjZ6MVaIlP
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyy5pyHcIlH
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWOfonXoVV
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已經失眠了多久？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BhUj9cG5i
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgbqUC5U9O
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTvLCJD3uK
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIfVLHfv7t
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzWwf68vJf
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnjjIJ6Exz
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUbvp5fWap
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmygqjk3I8A
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvScDktxgeU
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8IxJPPq4e
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSrsOXxu0Mq
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95Yzy4nxyh
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——呀？
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嗯？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBP3dCZJXo7
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkB4VrAIbK
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3lvjGHbPR
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUPFIPKhKL
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWk1M1flp1
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxQ54VVLFOI
我也想活下去
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXu5zF1gmrL
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHP7Hg9siPb
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAFuayHaER
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35oxFI7yP0
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMobbe7a6JZ
或是說，我不希望⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3YYnKcK0W
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⋯⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYdOS9Gg4lp
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRb8y5IwccO
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ27oFR4ldIA
對不起498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BxqK8ZhAR
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu02QhoJTDo
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ25gFZpQVXo
我也希望自己⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb1Yf5RxVP7
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzMJ7scfT0
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YIjv0UDDk
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPSnAwW9lx
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDW8u1NBZLJ
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BZJWYOBOP
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ39Jef1e8tr
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5GBZPawhA
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpNgiYIj1C
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGfc5p2SoR
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJZPjqnN74
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMNxaXIed3Q
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoE8QDwIAqh
「⋯⋯嗯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlw7XMRfSRP
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiAglnTmO8
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmaB1XSZGh
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQgjYJyyB3z
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVKEn6UuUp
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
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「⋯⋯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnayaZwy8op
「真的」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsx1NyCi07H
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsCpqEk4t8
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡou8SpVaUFQ
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT7ZnDjB9Y9
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq7RaCvJk9z
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXY8jLnZZws
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuyzDtWt1Y
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuHOWnmcBl
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPEmK35l6M
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9g2WTuTc5H
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzfoNS8GsV
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoouc6Mpl3
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VmOAeLxnR
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVnQvDDoSN
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡof5pnZ8ztA
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkngUHN9sos
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCnJiegUuKo
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhJnViGGdb
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ979tQf3LQB
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5lrCQOtOxp
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLQxVue7Au
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7cV2cT7SW
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJWEiWlANf3
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1GKYo08Sb
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kbVQf1UNy
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJnfGQFh3f
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7gJsEHXM6
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7oMifNLIR
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGOLPrw7PP
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡquLjeR5ac1
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqC2QHJefX1
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVhRZ7poIh
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jgAsQZEBr
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiqpJBoxLo
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFdkVyr2nC
最後一記，最強烈
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NoIaQ80tD
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpYLPA7m0x
「⋯哈啊⋯」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7GAxggK0G
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOu0GcY75Jw
鬆口，直至其手到胸口498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNJPCwMQtFf
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGt9zsfvZ9
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIu841f00g
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjkjiU3AyR
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjS7EmkV1Y
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOj4X6SKh4i
「⋯啊？」
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2Ru3rAs7e
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsRKzngcYS
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcqfY8bbIQ
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2iK0l4mYvC
「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLr0oZLygqu
「等、等等」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MJauj8phl
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gH7D5WH7f
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4XehMvRqE
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLkSk8PaP3
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDxtmnu5Bd
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswW4bdXfnx
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQ7VPMEvMf
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XdGKCHlzG
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv2zetUutHJ
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuxknbLLa1
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡityc6rDeBY
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7Wcm5VOQr
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsewsLytzY
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEKoZZwWC8
好痛
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKfQKZ0zzf
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但會有人在意嗎？
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPg4h0UBzje
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYs1ZODUFt
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXGcK1G47Kt
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipEEFZq05Q
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGGIvjoYdiX
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBWYKrTu3t
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoGYxOaNPlF
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZmR5eefEF
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnjDB5l2wJ
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHQQm7CQ6r
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnhbkmI0ch
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SULCJsrdD
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMgEXClgNu
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7VJHZF2IF
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsNFDFgdwy
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsUBQTkMoz
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGBOCwi2ds
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgRHpkGdjI
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKsXIVccvj
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWaMR0zADC
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7Giigsfj4
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2Hjwt6psp
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgsMusslWiV
比較下，條件不由自己定
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHAW6kxb5ec
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7E1EFTEX0
我沒有選擇權498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohPCKmJmWW
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB309088Bfs
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRwxxmrDnEB
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGo7f5J2dk
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4XWqQ4cGa
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡme3PtrTTZ6
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡliItcCv1Ev
明白嗎？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuu6AjFdFjP
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZn7wV4G475
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJD5tW4IIjF
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ951oZjowGg
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmTpOgcper
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxczolw7ZN
若世界更溫柔的話——
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCsiGsTW7Oq
不可能498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWObs2C3ADh
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3YC4iz784
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQc30YbrWW2
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5BfoUS4Cf
什麼也沒有498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfyLNPBT2a
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYa8TZ5c710
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaX5PvX1Xy
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGD3sjcXh4h
在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTFXT17ZIT
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbP8TyJYMIU
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQzLc02fnC
當然498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8pRDZdKwJ2
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuk2jrCFXMP
絕對
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfvuoN1JszL
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyyjrIwgMJ
不想498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg66Hd4mBcE
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58pOT6Swa2
但始終，真的太辛苦了498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbQSFwleaIZ
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhN6NMdU2YJ
⋯⋯498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTjwVsXsOz
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnEoTuFKXoB
思考真的太辛苦了498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNG29gWRjJG
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoK9bK0CjvI
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ17sX2xmC6S
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrL9WQzogk
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlZkCZQCT2
「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpAANoVGBe
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOJ4ajNigp
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxdYoDTRtO
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2JJpqVQkCq
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwSTKHlvsa
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjekdG0TF3V
「⋯⋯對不起」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53MbiTGEWU
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJuvlsP4mC
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGQ0Wh0X5u
「嗯⋯」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1fPWlItBS
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99BXgdm4mI
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mcKnJ358B
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wEXncjS1J
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yoMIAi5To
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MFFwtrjz5
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0npZkCkQC
「忠誠致赤雨之日」498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO3zQrud61v
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7P5u5RE9a
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumNYBANn0F
女孩說道
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGiVRSU6mS
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOjpaWrznA
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfTuL9K9QW
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQu7ISMW8w
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzsgbHeaAc
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIsKGtSoFX
是女孩的指示498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5cZ1slBPA
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60rGpRhEYP
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPT70BlEHIC
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHqfQmqlY2
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkme0q1vkPw
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkw2XdywUF3
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6zmNqFKwV
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfHR7V3aLe
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgg0yGH8nuk
直至最後能看見的——498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1KyDVuo7A
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDNMmX4YR7x
也不存在
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOr60W7MpTN
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo8nkgnM1hB
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyhyAZgXmo
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwWvZ5RUjx
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaR0D5eLmva
但無法辨認498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbdEQN48GX
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpBoGV8ddq
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBd4WDtZESi
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLb0ZVGPTQf
黑暗將自己包圍498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9zil8GdBm
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4UrJMhmRc1
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5LBjb3vUS
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS01jqfJZho
不知多久了498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavZC21Sih4
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aa8Y5wZUC
在那時開始498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbmEDGAiqf
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xuhLvehKF
那裏498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VRBSRoui3
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBny28H1MWV
但有些事情〇〇
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXKuudILeJ
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1WicHiS6FC
〇〇〇498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXyqkWzimR
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3Wmi9qiNu
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2fyPrvqXr
〇〇〇〇〇〇498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJR0NkSfH6
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7PMFSAe6l
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqw0qZJyHq
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyGpQ5E1r9
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡED7Z3n3Kvl
現在不是你的回合498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJfoaYgJMt
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3ZKhxeLua
498Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEha9wmAhm
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然後按「加至主畫面」