第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXKxejFofg8
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡse7sY3ZE1h
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還沒有學會「接受」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacpXXvtlZq
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接受現實686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dsqhQct5d
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因為認為是屈服686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XRlY4LskO
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感覺好像自己在投降686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmFXlMVYJZl
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放棄一切686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXoN0YvKoy
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusXOYCoNld
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaO8EPQ45am
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認為是這樣子的狂妄686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡed27xHKri7
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無他686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSf3HcnYdGE
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說是愚痴也不過份686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzFSYsK4p3
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只是她不相信686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXUzZ8TC2T
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懷疑686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7rZLwmfDp
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她⋯⋯686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyO6Jw9ubd
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「⋯⋯」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtZ74hjud9
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHvD2Aq7w9
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單單是想像也有夠不安686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTAsedxyMl
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM0gqhHWqfa
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPV0WK9ckOV
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唯一句686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP85I63rpo8
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當局者迷，旁觀者清686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSfwc6ol5G
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk0c8fCIe3r
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAj5h1WOPB
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl1jQ9abzQf
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且不死，無法殺死686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOhF7cbg5v
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人家已經很盡力了686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShKiX5YwvS
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobe4RNK92v
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憤怒686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaDUMFwGgs
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQCsw9aE9J
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因為我沒有用686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroD4lfbOYF
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcruFW69uM
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZD8IemvKh
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iz0wv22JY
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5r11i5fywx
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiapOP7Yw3J
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlq5bNJ3ema
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ23jXGt2efl
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqWfFyWVOJ
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzz41ySpJEo
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmpgtQq0XB
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixVmFnfRQj
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllrHRB0egR
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已經失眠了多久？686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJwYmVTmB1
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJwWseOXYi
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUcAiV0CTg
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL5Ln4Gq0Dg
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxXufNUJi9
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOdtukogSH
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrkQz5JltD
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugzbdQfpQf
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKZkCdgEPc
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDwOpPbMR1
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0pwL93O3j
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWztDkfLADb
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——呀？
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嗯？686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLp0o5Yv5D4
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDWtSkpgZA
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbe3uwHHeWm
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTALf5OyYzz
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGsH0Qh0gK
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSwEIktOi8
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSh7Y8ECWa
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1HCQwXjoz
我也想活下去
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoUZADtpaA
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3E4koCJ8Bl
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKGx6dyxgX
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs8ohRx4diJ
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMNE5uwvbP
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ127ZKN83rx
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSq6eLo5Pz
或是說，我不希望⋯686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRxts2XBz8
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYQYLCp6m7
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡENuNV2RdLy
⋯⋯686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdYdTB3B5LO
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLgpHdJeR1
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwimn8tb3E
對不起686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNgHbMhdig
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnxXxvNZvqq
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhHx3HHGlu
我也希望自己⋯686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqiLvhojGbr
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKV3YlfJ5G9
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIc0kHTYtP
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJTrv1jKPY
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zTDNUsvrl
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIBjlKI7tam
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlNTYoYrP3I
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNte7NtDgUC
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlwDgXfPep
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVrjkxT9ZwB
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCJ8xTL2JH
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeN2d971jJ4
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuTZYAvq8W
「⋯⋯嗯」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSuBzA1W16
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsynPB2Zwi
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZS7Kyutrv
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9duPe9UDq4
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8oGCHzN9Sy
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡew6WahX5uB
「⋯⋯」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYU1JUHCv8H
「真的」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aVXNioT56
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDny7HbGAbi
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTTQHKN9tJ
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg80ELspF3R
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4eVHzRz0L
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZgPq9E8fg
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYk3xF6JCQs
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB8WieP2xv
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84V6pjnlAJ
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOnIIugPRE
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylNCHlHIqE
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6czNRfMxco
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLuFSYJIo4
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7dncdyOHd
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6vTmawwINf
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbWt5TahJNS
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ61JtgdWWj5
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2OKes93P0
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0YKrLqKRM
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1EZFzMKSM
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRGghTPs1B
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEKiBWHOXw
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzg2G8pULa
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMbFwiPzUY
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdiqP49Tjg
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ63SwOvumwy
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
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686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPxjjaAzfT
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWDy5j1t2zr
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCVWSc7naN4
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMqZjBAwT3
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jdpl13f7x
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOw4FpFlynz
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VZVNuP5UQ
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbRHok8q5G
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThcitKv0yE
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBElCGz9ko4
最後一記，最強烈
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MXQICAe7e
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsXVIaeVX0
「⋯哈啊⋯」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXxJfDIB1R
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6CwNYe01mI
鬆口，直至其手到胸口686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RzEoKpOZJ
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ARIVAWyj1
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc6ccN7kijs
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqzn0eUEqNi
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibsLQOgkmh
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfQu3sZsBx
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmp2AIRZfLl
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtLSkEST3k
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOj7kKneMFs
「⋯啊？」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhniNskQ0ai
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxrdspcHD44
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqVg1eTuT5
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8yLdEkJ1F
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmplEURCMZ
「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgAxtZqi8Pg
「等、等等」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrxDQLAOXB
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Rael7xRXm
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPmuxI4wCd
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZH63euPHgY
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeAyYtdFL0
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFICJsUkJ6
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd3d6YuZw6Z
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfwX4t7Lrv
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCRUICGhGf
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvxnTQJXRn
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMoq4sExXrU
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKfWKHuBlt
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvR97YrdrIl
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvAXGBEs18
好痛
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686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqTXyE9KPY
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡac5ep0m0Kj
但會有人在意嗎？
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZZcJ6iI6c
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡozq2VafsQM
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mMN0dD5K3
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMT80bAQAVT
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9xdNUxf4r
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyQIGRav0K
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NMd7im8ID
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGDzy2JjLM
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuudR9sMdQu
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlGMeXoB0G
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDymLv8zWZ
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRo7BWAOIP
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8qTCTxMBM
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bTrmabZbK
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHd5Pr0wao
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUvCPAwWJp
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qgqqs8SWm
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4tyN2vfkt
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcXhUog8Gs
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw688oh9yu3
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJmzBti3y6
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEJ2bR8rBC
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0cCHQ9Dwb
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCBSsEIaEJ
比較下，條件不由自己定
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEgEppFUDKK
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0sLUwOwFSO
我沒有選擇權686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMDlrvItLg
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMl3fZ0R5G2
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jzQKPqxgg
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLBVbXokDg
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTRfDuSkOI
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCs4YiDRkDm
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU01r6vyHyU
明白嗎？686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVtTQt2sCt
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAm2NK4jyI4
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlbEg3VxAd
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxOBVDgRU4
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqOK3Yy8gu
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNzzjPvBPV
若世界更溫柔的話——
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnpoXCH84E
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrF7nNGQSZE
不可能686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kgrdd7TVr
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmVht9efbr
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRhqpAfuAi2
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXN3kGm2S5
什麼也沒有686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpMvCVYxws
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlC3kLgR14M
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcN0FsPqNc
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHhSkbJfJsM
在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQNRc9KPN7
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4jO86MCu8
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2MwgZt8lW
當然686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tdk8W9Jcw
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXB4SaVcXbo
絕對
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK0gD7MoXmn
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pSck5Czoz
不想686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAawxzUePS
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cG8UZHBdm
但始終，真的太辛苦了686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCSbHtA7nBv
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoozoLlFOXf
⋯⋯686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNXBViRSEo
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPn0rudtO2I
思考真的太辛苦了686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwfdR1p0SS
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBZbaeW6N8
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9pmMpLwwN
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yKUveuh1W
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZDYKbPQsN
「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNAGSTNVpJ
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6VEoA5K0E
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7L7twdTyH
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30gehlHpee
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzcaugh4QT
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosDuP4ApjL
「⋯⋯對不起」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTLmYVvliKG
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡks6pjfHBsa
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoe8d9TTuQ
「嗯⋯」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7tLXTxsG1g
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwz9Rt5Qp42
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD60zG3D8NL
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBHgnuHWR9
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDF9rpCWwt
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOynfA19yDc
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHUbENyIcpR
「忠誠致赤雨之日」686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYhFzYySFE
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30Oq6q1bBT
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Bmab2Lg6P
女孩說道
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggqZkFE5fU
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTm9EH6AWcz
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaS7aDXqGi9
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk8UuhT11nY
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEimumApA9
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZg5ufvDJ1
是女孩的指示686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IjAvQZWNe
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LeuxmpK97
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRC1OwqYLOb
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8dHEMehrar
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSd0vuUBlwF
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWq6z5JrnWd
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHvFnGTk8C
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCjPW4ZbnA
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3toLAuQM6a
直至最後能看見的——686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWiDcXklVl
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySIWok9jt7
也不存在
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqN1NAfS97
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JvdtpFqor
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmRyG81YNk
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxnay6tmOsD
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDzhgxspI4
但無法辨認686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8SbjOMbhW
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm0gTlacDoc
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8y6kk9TlS
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycyKtyzD3X
黑暗將自己包圍686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz8iWgfjllt
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQiuXpjt4N
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWQQAxxZZIA
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt238EJnEN1
不知多久了686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzR1i98Wgd
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxviyjiMl7O
在那時開始686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKc0RTCZ92J
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2b7dn3bLf2
那裏686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvUp67eTq9
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDhOvkSGrx
但有些事情〇〇
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DGkbmILs6
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMzCK12FjfO
〇〇〇686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW96AIhIwc5
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtzLpSmVZhc
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9MqpeP7q7C
〇〇〇〇〇〇686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaxr9MAQv9
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmgpJ1UrpH
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhH7zObdjs
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONTUtVZ287
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEaQY84HR1
現在不是你的回合686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTmrlQrxvIz
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoTUDfDJOX
686Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIGmWmFvEx
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and then Add to home screen.