第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZ7uZKnBKK
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3kO8CtBmC
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還沒有學會「接受」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7XmVRHn8h
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接受現實549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkUhkXLwmX
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因為認為是屈服549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ15s0uvF4n4
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感覺好像自己在投降549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JgZY7xiy3
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放棄一切549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6tGWqgMwr
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMTTlaztULX
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy66uWtZio0
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認為是這樣子的狂妄549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnlLHfHMgi
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無他549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2XmpEqTZR
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說是愚痴也不過份549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvGqfp2FDg
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只是她不相信549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3mUHaLiSH
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懷疑549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡORjIA2pBZ0
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她⋯⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kWK4EvoFW
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「⋯⋯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yfBmQiFFT
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mSAl5mYii
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單單是想像也有夠不安549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzw52nF40e
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTc1we8FmFd
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBH9OlsIVkQ
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唯一句549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVszHK93L3d
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當局者迷，旁觀者清549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcwau5n0Ki
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjCf2N4CuT
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2LdgQ5cz3
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCZrTBjSr8
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且不死，無法殺死549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcUGd9A0l7
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人家已經很盡力了549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTl3AgBNRg8
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuqMIEtk7r
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憤怒549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmEspNPxye
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqPU6ouBDc
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因為我沒有用549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUESwe0Kvoa
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3imEwsed5
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5xQkUnShpM
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqeXept6TN
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcIww0yZnQ
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWvZv98GaS
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1ss4UWuiB
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpz50rjrbUg
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZHgAPzyIR
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrp8SmC0g4b
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBS3CCZkwZ6
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZQKaHKRtQ
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMHKjqxv1t
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已經失眠了多久？549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl900StDoMk
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZos9sDZW0N
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubj9PpQN17
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdNEbiABdOG
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlgi93jh7lF
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOisgX1pvEg
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TeaOzYY8D
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEOPClQRNq
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaWrqDI8LGr
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUAo9n51N72
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BNlqkCjTj
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyoErdYuLK
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——呀？
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嗯？549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mSQeIPAfx
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5kvdTJyXG
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEDtod1y6Q8
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBek1sJ4PW5
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTovfGD5K4L
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfDoceT51Cc
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7CFKviq3dx
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrP8yMtdOEA
我也想活下去
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWIzYF3oUsk
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5LhfgO51v
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUMn9pcbdE
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Ai7st8THy
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9CAHTAmg7
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPLBZHgnBc
或是說，我不希望⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsI2olo0HQ6
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⋯⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYG2aszfKfs
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhg48HNXIk
對不起549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rgsdJyVx9
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqVwXnPZ20A
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgxwzh01CI
我也希望自己⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC9QSOnSKQS
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzL3gVCceB
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21K0wshRWh
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYI6xGZwxO
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0v3g5E2RZT
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3flcNjmmXF
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ4wwrRUmXl
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx354KAhqwD
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkF2h1vYfpW
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUkYybF8oG
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafDGDpEcH4
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagK3If4ISM
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVjAVBFNJg
「⋯⋯嗯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4Hs920Vr2
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhK9BkgWioP
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhlgVbBMwR
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmtvdZvpXL5
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1jjTa8DFd
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1d0tz4gBG
「⋯⋯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tyShotxH9
「真的」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXT4gJllXa
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECgOvz0GYM
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgCXP6sFIv0
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5i6GujbO5Y
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywW6BRZZSI
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLeIV4JzoS
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIUJ7BwrKz
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdXERdAPq7
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHb939fFMlU
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sJzXelRas
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8uK80Bzqc
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDN8peIpKA
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteYanf5cFV
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGtLHT9tKK5
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzDyOyG1nMx
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9Y29SbnME
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQqigzADWt
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLOcbNHcRX
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tdPU8yOP4
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xO2IcE58a
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGw5Vocn6gC
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWW6c0Qdtl
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzkKC7lPO0
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwWpo068E8X
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4oIlBdDhpK
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mggW6bcBD
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISlMLHMdWa
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnudErC7JMc
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbyUBgXAq6
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBfG2TsxUG
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryhWhPLuZQ
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlupznk6SR
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqlkdOkCii
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7k1ZGiXfVx
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOGcl0S41j
最後一記，最強烈
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2SX7Sze50
「⋯哈啊⋯」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBCZ0UUb6PO
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnudrpbQ2g
鬆口，直至其手到胸口549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BDEmryrgg
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxjYpxXEDoO
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnqVZJm0mny
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ776wPlEy69
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPyuOhwy7iL
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuFNTDBSEk
「⋯啊？」
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCboFbMAc6
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGPZSrnPzT
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQmVhKaShgj
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkl9nTAiid
「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRjRNlPAAZ
「等、等等」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPRYZdih6B
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNc39TYZmX3
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxtRHMkfQa
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwq3uHyeoMq
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXBupQUwPs
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEh46DBeOxz
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxioRVxvATF
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSKvqA4FBxM
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhhnndbSuv
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrr3JhI1pp
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvX2f5tTocx
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsk0D2JF9WP
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTbOTxugRe
好痛
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9RXcWQN1nj
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但會有人在意嗎？
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ILX7CfVIY
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfrI8uGbqP
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyhT8rqbdr
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3K0EJ4VXeM
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAX14LTS0wI
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQSsUGrZ41
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUjeAowBp9
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gMMZ1LfiC
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiSznrbEDqk
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8YaORfrCn
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEWhBvHUO1
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3upyR6lVHj
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GhtkdCx44
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVaf7nd6nqE
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcxLksdfp4
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74tyzkrDst
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bRUqwnrKc
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG92cFDqklj
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0lkCJb0RZ
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYh4v7oMPfo
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4i7lTb0TmJ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAi7I3FKqD
比較下，條件不由自己定
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHc2fTo6e88
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ20yyuHAVbt
我沒有選擇權549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh2wVQ6ynNQ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2c1dkLKhw9
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRyiDebtyuK
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07yws7BQFa
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDKMWCDsXL
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJy3uDTIAG
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YwZ7HJKPb
明白嗎？549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IlK55jyba
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbAEEIro6y
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudDR9k6B0f
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeM0NiS7FZW
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNig3G0EcS
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52cdGVs7CB
若世界更溫柔的話——
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtH9ZTetkNH
不可能549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL76fA72Qmd
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gTwqFN0H4
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcbisibWhJ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4NRKl7PqF
什麼也沒有549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0DdVs4L20
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrK6XB55g9z
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqUDjtRpTH
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在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1Fch7h16S
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrwkfh8ecRl
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvywLAGa6La
當然549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSfWYhw6pe
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絕對
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrf5lv5vwy3
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19P56QCAZU
不想549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJu5ConuCeZ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrRRjdlcyw
但始終，真的太辛苦了549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6pHyqfYOyd
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFHhR1oW6y
⋯⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMg4SIaPSt
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfwZo7qXnyD
思考真的太辛苦了549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQDtM9OrI0
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡltVa3NfToC
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSEaTJfSWvq
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZJZtkvR3w
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBAhi5u97b
「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJC6sliSLl
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QZd1tPuXq
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQINyHmLtw
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGspOL0KA30
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStMwHZDLXK
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24lAMrI4kL
「⋯⋯對不起」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSjGhMZWeb
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuXXUOG6cI
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWvaWidmX7
「嗯⋯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmaoB6sfRn
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxWwCGomuIn
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNQSxjTr3R
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNetPKzrCw3
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxxEwMU69v
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpv67Uc1B2L
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivB5aYoP2a
「忠誠致赤雨之日」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjSE8H4pDk
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt16JXqi8Nr
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhz0UOuJL2s
女孩說道
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCzN540Fvq
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCybCPszrY5
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXSuJ1Y5mm
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNSq1GAw1f
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BMlZRFj9s
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6iA9YqJIQ
是女孩的指示549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2hkKbqrhJa
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnV18TieGX
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoQ0mFrjun
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn35GQKXkac
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLiSMCwjTaW
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB6hu0N2LDr
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmmmobx4TP
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPRzLsNnrH
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYhFbt9DVW
直至最後能看見的——549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEcrRtFgpeq
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJbqWkvtS0
也不存在
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlE5av8yHBU
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FC94BGhNN
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfUh7CrhSS
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKvY7EDjCrF
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUH2x2ALN9U
但無法辨認549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJHL0Sfq1x
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6lsCGrhzmx
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUE4rSViDT3
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUzr8BXuVS
黑暗將自己包圍549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJXQ4320bk
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIdAoJfxYD
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfCOxFsT1rB
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0euT0oLhC
不知多久了549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5W9izD7Q3B
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyTwj9Pow0
在那時開始549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3LJM86Mmj
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMTKQUlxZn
那裏549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdr699buGfR
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7wJXsPZk5
但有些事情〇〇
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyonjiwSfqo
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4KQMO8AXu
〇〇〇549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7pvQuxtdc
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmQJR7aycOn
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdMnFGnvPq
〇〇〇〇〇〇549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4bMsEYRZQ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgreeAlXnr
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQla5HhK8Y
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUbVyff6T5
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Mhd6XRTsz
現在不是你的回合549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzatX1Dfc6
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLZnEM6mTj
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PnHNMIa4o
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然後按「加至主畫面」