第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8nWf15jmI
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡas6Yf2zbWM
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還沒有學會「接受」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3iCFu1nwm
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接受現實687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwsHHwhhod
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因為認為是屈服687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPed9FG0Oy
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感覺好像自己在投降687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkrkb6WywR
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放棄一切687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVVbKXEK4V
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgru32zl1VN
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡylrGNLGIcl
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認為是這樣子的狂妄687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNDGMZeEGu
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無他687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwkqCuiHrH5
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說是愚痴也不過份687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTGFTQvuXrn
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只是她不相信687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ551YodEyny
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懷疑687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Udv2hFizJ
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她⋯⋯687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsbo4mJvdN
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「⋯⋯」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5EStpBNnc
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9T5vkIk3Dt
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單單是想像也有夠不安687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVnhZGtj4GC
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUK9o9ce5WP
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCJZk7k78Q
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唯一句687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4F8RLiOSi
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當局者迷，旁觀者清687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHO9bKoRoQ8
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmBqhC7lx2
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDF54ZwEXsy
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tdBW5Ugnl
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且不死，無法殺死687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWcIlog2Fe
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人家已經很盡力了687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYBVSeUz3j
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveeDrdeg3g
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憤怒687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55CPtTWXyt
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJe02eIWtd
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因為我沒有用687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsyuWE3YPwd
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiHwznl0YY
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRSRkZStxxT
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFFPE7MH3kU
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEibllP1reT
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLERVmsxIAY
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmEoBJXFgD
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQEdkLbLkD
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dEZsOTKuL
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYdMMoes7U
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxymwdFmwj
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8EPsdUcNHL
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwHWypu9aQD
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已經失眠了多久？687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEFwvuxK4bL
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6v3IuScJFn
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5El8yhc5F
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSbB95QRKC
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwR12fPGEoT
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIaOQwCVrg
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4UfEryeT1
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiy1r7y5zX
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSbEwmubum
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxXzY764Bk
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4p8bDQYBx
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mNrIq50Tk
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——呀？
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嗯？687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrXfK9Q4SW
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLePctzwPM
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8Q4d0PwD8
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp3cOIkj3OM
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKZcMHmx6eM
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5f4WiZJIma
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhz1lKD0GRM
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ28Uwhxqzvs
我也想活下去
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNH0W2msPQ
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhCqMxzcqvj
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0p2RjDKJUU
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmZyt8tC0I
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zydfXZNOz
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3C4v6YAvhn
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDilvkEGD5j
或是說，我不希望⋯687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhMMtkeSyf
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOOt8kj3SEX
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDxiBFOXM82
⋯⋯687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vInq9nfAl
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJoI3J6MM6B
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWPDQj0A5Y
對不起687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQpKCGNamY4
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTved1rZ6iU
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefCQF14Wq3
我也希望自己⋯687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6KlhlUAgrx
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFp24ovedq4
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0061GqaiL
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPu0s40Ptb8
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCTdzHn3yTj
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbLIJrMwHUg
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4znh9fl82B
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDHwe5c2no
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPVjuljs43W
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7iDHrWHl8
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nE5DLXZf3
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxrVb6kyJb
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSk1tT7mVI
「⋯⋯嗯」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCWpiPP8CWi
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtt69ueFK3
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMLGIjIMnb
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuVLDHR6jO
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRngG2OGvU
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOJ6yjF5R9
「⋯⋯」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKM1o9vcPB
「真的」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpM18m1b3i
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2lB1AUPIj
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QOjaBfaXC
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhp5sS28XS
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZladRDzMB
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3PENWqQsW4
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbc2b5RWffX
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStJDntQiDS
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZTjcbP5Am
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Z6De2DOyF
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsiiKXIclE
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLp59aBjwTd
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYSbga2YwFi
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Vx97UCnU2
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyazIvufMwt
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUWm0dlYxk
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1CShEF6Xq
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrUtGY5OeNo
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAK6s0KNW2
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUiZWSWSVU
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQPaZWRsGz
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMize1aF4i9
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo3zgFbqF10
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Z3EZlHpk2
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeFrakKrUK
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwU3x8fxLn5
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPSXMehhQj
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvO62bs2wHe
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eamj18IRh
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXI78jTIu2
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAjOZNCiTi
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtjrUO8gH7
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoyfQbnrjLK
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDRkzGyeDk
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztgBfkOaZ5
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCpbj5EpcqI
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlHW75GvQy
最後一記，最強烈
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ew7KFWNa2
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT4MjDB5Q2u
「⋯哈啊⋯」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAsrhgj89Bo
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBK55G2cg52
鬆口，直至其手到胸口687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1nJ74r9er
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQeXC1Nr9L
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bNkxHpjrK
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0MAcjnE2Y
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ152L929BYp
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡczLk6Nv4mn
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDly3VamR2
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhcTxbvd5A
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIV9AXN2kJT
「⋯啊？」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIerQsVuwi
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitXMIuHmVV
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJGLVgzgB7
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgn9eNm5aRu
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdOSBDfMN3P
「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55GMyofz1j
「等、等等」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIGlic7C8hC
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt3jrmmJgjO
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc55c2CkdnQ
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVpOM7o1WUt
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1DfCGO5JL3
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ43Q48BNlV0
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjcSVSih0G
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgTxm7jGIOH
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMoFJNCggn
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo37nezDhia
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTSh6J3PWj
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN05WtZHEwY
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNya72imDF
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa59kyvfn2x
好痛
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1QqdqitGaR
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaC8WfhaGnt
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYlZL1Uup1
但會有人在意嗎？
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqBr3Gjo1oc
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NpJopMPPY
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYOhsqqgpx7
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrATUlLSMtF
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjO7vZ459c
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiC93KgT3jV
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCPbl8G52c5
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUbVu9JmxZ
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jCDJqtkoC
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkYfBcC4eD
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwPALRnJ5Cq
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX4GpaFev6p
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2mKN4NOQci
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRuDl099Mn
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB90grIZXPI
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLS5sOdgCXU
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37wpIrazJx
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIdMCsWCrA
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30dExnX0n9
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qQUbH6faZ
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxAfEjAFXgQ
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggg5Wed0ai
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2JNYopjzz
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQEiCFLxtOK
比較下，條件不由自己定
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBeid9qHFA
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLHVG6Hgdn
我沒有選擇權687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuxrXlMZSjC
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaReM3kN8Qy
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtopKqYyVXX
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmf1w0VkmY
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOIKMpFXzf
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs3L7rqFArD
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡihk7KqReY7
明白嗎？687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDpHuvaX4E
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN3rEwkxdOB
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEUutQvuhLk
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09gILgCX06
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhMTAC60i6
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkUn6KKIWn
若世界更溫柔的話——
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEWEaOUB0Z
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEj98rDwiI5
不可能687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Vj69jw7G8
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPBcypps84
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDAc69tLJa
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqxBuUcXZP
什麼也沒有687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfUHgOhMTv
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzY0HxS3Wuy
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9LNngIDee
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkHL7fEEmg
在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnoZL6ETm4
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiHSlrwpsgi
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sFQCUJ2DR
當然687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunUYcT2MPE
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPiWjxGRLl5
絕對
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwoJsPrnkyL
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtg7RYl9wIg
不想687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLxo7TvGnCO
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBXkhuyk3s
但始終，真的太辛苦了687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡatF5nhCoKH
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTVntrd10D
⋯⋯687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7hY7xgFwS
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSC6VUVJl0Y
思考真的太辛苦了687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEo6MgunzL
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZeQT5KjmXH
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2U0BCSqc7S
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYIAc79KiER
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8PFpCi6t3
「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyd45luXc2y
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnNPfKukqm
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSUfDdyNHO
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYuP0XXRRWD
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYRT1WwuzvB
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00USLNTZLl
「⋯⋯對不起」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1LVqVV5OD
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYeyBuI4VD
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbtgwR5PMg
「嗯⋯」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdIcZXoXrq
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHJlUjXwPk
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbhh2XmGpo
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
——————————
最強大的力量，為信念
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687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6D8dcznw2
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIEqOP2HQt
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYS6VhDaJlU
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHgJuz6KNn2
「忠誠致赤雨之日」687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeD1sUq6LU
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhs0d5POns0
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcl9bbKcmH
女孩說道
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwlWySopCR
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJ7iPWiJEO
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvzYsAPZ73
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgdvD9FMJ8f
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCL7isMyfi
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7HfBBKpOsp
是女孩的指示687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOLSEBuonO
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1cxXgVXq1
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhPG6g97nej
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfdLn1Nt3T
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xMr6zRQcI
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmsVbXerLi
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH8yuXrYjwE
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucllwRIB2t
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfiP796QuJ
直至最後能看見的——687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeZfypjD9I
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgKpL56WqD
也不存在
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4WQyzLEfs
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6iu9y6MGI
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt0J2A1HJHh
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4EqfmNT1r
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEjMT4nZ3C
但無法辨認687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYi8Q5Vf2C
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsbykAyfHQ
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbz8vaXQ99
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwR6L1CxjXr
黑暗將自己包圍687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoammLawuf
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYTuJXQsYw
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsw2ox8O8G6
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSEcWkIF72
不知多久了687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcyCGiaJ4d
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhp3Qj8hOrj
在那時開始687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwmuW1WHFOK
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdvmp92Q0hO
那裏687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyVMGsqsrQ
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BxxXknr0Q
但有些事情〇〇
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0Sn3mSLoi
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3U7RW8kpSK
〇〇〇687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrqb6Out4T
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9T1mn0wldd
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcm1anjRYw
〇〇〇〇〇〇687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaLuLUMzoQ
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1JCpO6N8gZ
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyG6HKBeQH
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZymL2D0ny
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTnwnLmqS9g
現在不是你的回合687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzQhlFyekt
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxE81TflVC
687Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fms5KTWfe
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and then Add to home screen.