[FANFIC - HBD, KARIN!] PÉRIODICITÉ (SK)
Title: périodicité431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuZEGePpw2n
By: Kanae (Goth-Punk88 @ ff.net)431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUfKyjaQzS
Rating: K+431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxr8KUKo5WG
Word Count: 2.817431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9tyghOs1t
Author's Notes: Made for our "Karin's birthday week" over at the Ice&Spice FC @ NF ♥ I... don't even know what this is, or where it came from, and it's possibly one of the cheesiest pieces I've written for SK. But I kind of regret nothing lol - Oh and that novice drawing at the top of the fic? yup, mines. guilty as charged orz431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWiqGqZubB0
Summary: June 20 has never been an ordinary day for one Uzumaki Karin.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNOvgC763Q
périodicité (periodicity)431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsbmdKwhkv
"recurrence at regular intervals of time."
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périodicité;431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXnkN9KVx3
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by Kanae
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“Don’t look so down, darling. This is a great chance for you.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrkRucrkEr
“…Yeah… a great chance to make a fool of myself, you mean.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAjDqAxHD3
A twinkling laugh, a delicate hand warmly lands over a girl’s head and—
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At twelve, there aren’t many things that Karin has done or that she wishes to do. She is just an ordinary girl from an ordinary family living in an ordinary village; there is nothing special about her, nothing out of the norm, nothing that makes her stand out—if one ignores her flagrant red hair, that is.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDGI0nvkm7
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But that is just what her father seems to have wanted to do all along.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf7O9odmUxi
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You’re going out? Don’t forget to put your hood on, Karin, he would say, whenever Karin had to wander away from the immediate realms of their home. Why, papa? She used to ask when she was no more than a little girl; but that was a habit that slowly but surely withered and died as she began to grow up—as she started to grow aware enough to notice the wary air her father’s kind, wise red eyes acquired as the reminder left his lips.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5y63NGKEXc
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As she grew older, Karin learned to recognize it for what it truly was: more a warning than a piece of advice; and she began to grow more jittery as result, more worn at the seams.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9g8296KIc0
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Her red hair was her only outstanding trait, the only thing that made her different—without it, Karin may as well fade into the scenery.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjqFNLUoWo
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She may as well not exist.
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—and ruffles her hair.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmo2YTVfel
“Now, now, don’t be like that. I have a good feeling about this, you know?”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLtrAypvKuT
“…What do you mean, mama?”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cyZo2JcC8
A secretive smile highlighted by—
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At thirteen, Karin nearly dies.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4QyTdolUX
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And then she is saved—saved by a striking boy with a rich voice and eyes that warm her up to the core the moment he smiles—at her, for her—and suddenly, Karin does not feel so ordinary anymore.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcTDfI0sXf
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There is something different about you, her mother tells her once with a knowing smile, ever since you came back from Konoha.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIodU0YhrhM
Karin jumps in her seat, awkward denial bubbling up in her throat and evaporating the moment her mother laughs, I like it. You look prettier, Karin.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJFTzuMIFP
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She does not know about that—can’t see any difference as she looks at herself in the mirror, self-consciously pulling on some strands of red hair and squinting at her reflection.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxKWiqRAxHu
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What she does know, though—what she can’t forget, is—431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtjDhMS3NCF
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See ya, he had said, and it takes Karin a surprising amount of time to realize that, for the first time since she could remember, there was something she wanted.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNSDSrXlyG
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Wanted for herself; not for her parents, not for those she cares about. Something that was completely hers, in all its staggering intensity and youthful hope.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckAu54c4SR
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See ya, he had said, and until then Karin had never quite known how good it felt to feel alive.
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—by amber eyes that seem to spark.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyyVI86JZTB
“Ara~ I wonder if I should tell you. It is a safely guarded secret, you see.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXnyimTmxL
“I will keep it! I promise, I won’t tell anybody, mama!”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nKZyf7XjE
A chuckle, “Alright, alright! Since you insist, I'll tell you. It—”
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At fourteen, Karin breathes her last breath.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkN8DHCOYXL
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There is no blood—not hers—involved, nor are there any wounds—not physical ones—or any white walls or tunnels and gates of light—no light, only dark—only smoke—only the smell of burnt flesh and intest—431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflfN1ihoBw
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There is, however, anguish. An agony so great that Karin bit her lip until it bled, fisted her palms until her nails left permanent crescent-moon shaped scars in the contours of her skin, new batches added to already cracked life lines.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DggRO8JV4
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There are silent, chocked sobs that made her throat burn and her sight blur until she has ran out of tears.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3jKXPClpu
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And there is also horror; a burning, paralyzing sort of horror that reaches its peak and fades into a mute but perpetual tune stringing the chords of her being as she comes back and stares at the corpses of her father and mother, unrecognizable masses of ashes retching of burnt blood and bodily fluids that make a pile of vile crawl its way up to her tongue.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHicxjXU9r
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And then, there is he—sidestepping the man with ominous dark chakra and extending a hand towards her, onyx eyes boring into her own with the same might with which the understanding in his chakra drove her horror away.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG8qCQRmCML
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You staying here will amount to nothing, but you leaving just might, he says. Come, Karin, he calls.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAnyLx0NwTF
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She takes his hand, and there is hope.
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“—It is said that one too many women in our family have found their fate in the lands of Konohagakure.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zzrlaBBVn
“Their… fate?”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAJU73gajl
Her voice curls up around the edges, as if it were a spell.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmhYr6he2Q
“You will understand in—”
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At fifteen, Karin has shed her skin.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkSBFERBjJx
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There are now sharp edges where there used to be soft contours; angry frowns where there used to be kindness, smirks where there used to be smiles; buoyancy where there once was shame, barriers in what once were vast landscapes—and there are also scars.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvdLLZnbEPJ
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Tell-tale scars of the Karin she used to be and new, revolting ones from the Karin she has become. She hides the latter and denies the former; pretends they’re long gone, never aching, never hurting anymore.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7w1Srb7SI
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Yet, he sees them all. As if she wore them on her sleeve.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegLs2SmnbL
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“Say, Sasuke, since we’re alone how about we—”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHqX8cRpFG
“I have to leave soon, Karin.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKiDUBeSvtB
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She puts her glasses back on and crosses her arms with a frown, moving away from him. “Why did you even bother coming, then?”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiui1CD58NX
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Sasuke says nothing, then. He says nothing, and Karin straightens, her back suddenly assaulted by gooseflesh; could he—?431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxBHCuTvRW
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Could he have possibly known? Known how before his unexpected arrival, Karin had been hounded by her memories. Seeing familiar faces in the nameless prisoners of the base, ghosts come back to haunt her and pull her down with them to the depths of hell—a hell made of nothing but flames and guilt of mistakes she is not sure she would take back, even if she could.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmfFec2MdN
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“…I had business here, is all.” His voice reaches out to her through the haze of her thoughts, pulling her back with nonchalant words that seemed devoid of any meaning.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzTuqLvXBWk
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But as she turns and her eyes meet his, Karin sees.
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“—in due time, Karin.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7ZVe7gJnK
“Still, mama… it just isn’t fair.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvjBD2mksg
“What isn’t, dear?”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiD5M5NGVFW
“… I wanted to spend my birthday with you and papa.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ98avv0pkxb
Her smile—
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At sixteen, Karin falls.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOY7Gu0sxV9
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She falls from a great, great height at appalling speed; she hasn’t even had time to acknowledge the abysm before she has hit rock bottom, her goals and dreams spilling through her open chest and pooling on the ground alongside everything she knows.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYD0AHWsx7J
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Alongside everything she once held dear. Everyone she relied on. The one she trusted.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aDdojsd7y
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Now, there was no one left.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡslwsC6sV4s
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No one left but the roaming, empty carcass of the boy she once loved; the boy who taught her what it felt like to be alive, the boy who gave her hope and helped her find meaning back when she had lost her way, the boy who helped her to be reborn from her ashes into someone better; someone stronger, someone capable of standing up for herself and for him, too. The boy who flared her will and her drive with a single touch, with a single look, with the simplest of words—431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOf92CHT52m
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I need you431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6D28P0HUL
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“So much for that,” Karin mutters to no one, her back pressed against the cold walls of a cell and her fingers absentmindedly tracing the ghost of the wound that had taken her heart out for good.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1KFLOgwDb
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And then it comes. An almost unnoticeable flicker—too subtle to be perceived, but too longed for to be ignored.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcskHn4sUk
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No… I’ve had enough, Sasuke but her withered heart is trying to beat again, and it makes up her mind for her.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGodKLuCSj
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“…So much for this,” Karin murmurs to herself—and then she is on her feet again, her inner eye tracing his every move.
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—melts.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMMTfK2yOb
“Cheer up, love. There will be many birthdays left for us to celebrate together.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyFcMwZjoL
“… You promise?”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhtdlfVdmSd
Her gaze softens.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLaygpXlVPQ
“I promise.”
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At seventeen, Karin kisses him.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqBkv9wbSs
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She impulsively crashes her lips against his, her arms thrown around his neck in a desperate attempt to hold onto him—to anchor him down before his essence could have the chance to fade into pitch black darkness again, to feel him before he could have the chance to waste his life—her life, their future—chasing phantoms all the way to the death.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLnpscCF4c
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When the impromptu kiss ends, Karin sees him—the him she knows, the him she loves—flickering across his eyes for the briefest of moments, and she hears her name resounding in her ears even though he has not uttered a single sound.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHl0BHbpxf
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She smiles ruefully; trembling eyes boring into his—and then wordlessly lets him go.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFq6aKoSmxD
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She has given him a reason, but the choice is his to make.
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“Ha, so it was about a boy, I knew it!”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjb2PFSO2km
“Shh, mama! I don’t want papa to hear! And… it’s not like I’m ever going to see him again, anyway….”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3PKq8pO7d
Her mother has to hide her smile, “Actually, Karin… something tells me you just might.”
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At eighteen, Sasuke kisses her back.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZEJ53tM0YB
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It is not nearly as passionate as her—their—first kiss had been; there is no desperation, no adrenaline—but there is craving all the same, waving through the serenity threading over her through the gentle pressure of his fingertips over the nape of her neck, enveloping her like a makeshift cloak and warming her down to her very core.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdF9oKlsI9o
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And Karin feels her very essence quiver under it—under the warmth and the way her heart seemed to want to leave her and jump into him instead, to claim the home it has always longed for; the home it has always fought for.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNIuF6XpSQ
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The home it belonged to.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRUmu1zghmM
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As he kisses her, sunrays clumsily dancing upon her lips, Karin feels like she would vaporize into him if Sasuke were to take a single breath.
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“How do you know?”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN90FXTKSNl
“Because, that’s how fate works, Karin.”
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At nineteen, Karin smiles.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMWGivrx6y
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“Itachi,” she says, and Sasuke looks up to her, startled. “The name… Itachi. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAkOeoFvEb
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Sasuke parts his lips—once, twice—but no sound comes out and soon enough he gives up altogether, lowering his eyes to stare at the bundle in his arms. It stares back at him, impossibly red eyes widened with innocent curiosity, pink tongue sticking out from underneath rosy lips.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBXQDo8FPg
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“Are you sure, Karin?” he whispers after what seemed like an eternity, and Karin’s smile only widens.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqJOK7vKmd
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“Yeah.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzZ00Ws3Ao4
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And as she sees them—as she sees Sasuke hold their baby as if he were holding the whole, wide world in the crook of his arms—Karin remembers her mother with such vivid clarity that she catches a breath of her perfume. The memory—the vision is bittersweet, and it makes Karin’s throat clog, because she recognizes that look.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJfX42dtj1D
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It was the way her mother used to look at her father and her, eyes brimming with love and pride, unspoken but ever-present, never changing. Karin had not been able to understand it, then—431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTM4L5MMH9I
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But she did, now. And the understanding squeezed her heart in a way that was both, wonderful and terrible. To think it took her this long to finally understand, once and for all, what it all meant.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BBLf732Ej
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To understand who her mother truly was, what her mother felt, what her mother desired for her—and how her mother hurt.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwL7wBGYCdD
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You’re special, Karin. She would tell her sometimes, her eyes half-lidded and afflicted by thoughts she would never get the chance to say aloud. One day, you will realize that.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEub5XWqq35
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She realized it, now; what it meant to love to her roots, what it meant to be a woman.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOwqKO81Ye
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An Uzumaki woman.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEJeLfsuIk
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“… Thank you, Karin.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRoWzZK34u
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“Idiot,” she shakes her head, weakly, traitorous tears prickling at the corners of her eyes and threatening to spill. “That... should be my line.”
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“They will be here soon,”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaWXpsMMDu
“Who will be here soon, mama?”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhbuGadAQS
“It could be anyone,” she finally replies, and her hold is steady as she combs through Karin’s hair, “we have long since lost any care for their identities, Karin. What matters is… what their presence means.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBB7o2TvbM
“And what is that?”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZGOGtroko
Her silence provides the only answer; and Karin wishes it weren’t enough.
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At twenty, Karin celebrates her birthday for the first time in seven years.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwUOVa6VNc
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And it starts with a soft but firm admittance whispered as she caresses the baby’s nose, all too aware of the pleasant weight of Sasuke’s gaze, of the feelings swirling in his chakra.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9XAS6wiUKX
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Hearing them is unexpected, however—and her widened eyes snap to his only to find his lips beginning to curve, his own hand coming to caress her cheek in much the same way she was doing to their son.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoZd1lDSuB
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“W—what was that about?”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSv8GFHSyez
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She asks; some habits are hard to break, and her awkward way of fighting down her embarrassment seemed to be as persistent as ever.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB69UNCkwB
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Sasuke doesn’t seem to mind, though. If anything, his smile seems to morph into an amused smirk as he shrugs, noncommittally. “I just felt like saying it, is all.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXsO1eRi6x
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“Dumbass,” she mutters, hoping the darkness will hide the way her cheeks have warmed up like bonfires, so reminiscent of her prepubescent days when all she could do was a dream she would one day lay with Sasuke the way she does now. “...You didn't need to.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLlVIEdT9k
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“I know, Karin,” and this time he is positively smiling, suddenly mutating back into the Sasuke that had stolen her heart so many years ago. “But it still felt good to say it.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUEF1W8OVy
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Karin says nothing in response; simply snuggles closer to him, eyes on the baby as he opens his eyes and blinks, his little hands curling and uncurling up into the air.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb9N5gkSJsw
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“He is going to be strong,” Sasuke assesses, and Karin would have mocked him by how ridiculous it was that he sounds that proud of Itachi when the baby hasn’t even said his first word yet, weren’t it because she felt the same way.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgwhIPy37r
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He was going to be strong. A little piece of herself and Sasuke—a memento of those who had given their life up for them; a torch for those who had granted them the chance to live this moment.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6fTwLUg38
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To live this happiness.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFhg7ZbLT3
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“Happy birthday, Itachi,” she whispers, and squeezes Sasuke’s hand. “I love you.”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAXoVI8628
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The words feel dusty, and unknown—but familiar.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTepQbZv7hZ
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She knew them, once.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAxIgaGcHz
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She has known them all along.
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I'm sorry, Karin.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWaANCjivMv
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Were the last words her mother told her before her father ushered her out of the house and prompted her to run—run as far as she could, away from them—and forced her to leave them to die.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrtQ8CluZ7
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To survive.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaJMfdHI5f
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Those words used to hunt Karin down in those nights when sleep refused to lend her its hand, the eerie walls of Orochimaru’s hideout caving in on her and Sasuke’s steady chakra being her only relief, her only shield.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUn5UKb2cD6
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Yet, what haunted her weren’t the words themselves, but their meaning; Karin had instinctively known then, just as clear as she knows now, that her mother was not apologizing for forcing her to forsake them and live on.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJY72oiJJB
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No, that was not it—that was not the kind of woman her mother had been.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhlXJsBYaZ
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Instead, she had apologized for something else entirely.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMklxKwkE0
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For the unsaid.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnY6cdsB7cM
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“What are you thinking about, Karin?”431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvYrtXg2hj1
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Her lips curl upward as he takes the seat by her side, repentances fading away into the evening sky.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbcJ3hYsKR
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“Nothing,” she replies, threading her fingers through his and gazing back to their children, who were laughing and running together through the backyard, a lively mixture of reds and blacks; the Uchiha and Uzumaki crests proudly etched on their backs, on their hearts.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcg17qOdlN
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“Nothing at all.”
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"You will be fine."431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoIW6VRSyiQ
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And through the tears and the pain and the loneliness and the longing and the hardships and the fear, Karin should have known better.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3ru2CUXr4
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Her mother was always right.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKV4veT1Eg
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end.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRKRyEvdse
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I... seriously don't know where all this came from; my best guess: Uzumaki feelings. Uzumaki feelings everywhere. lol, I tried to play with the different facets of Karin, and how she grows into each one of them; plus SK, of course.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTgCkBILQa
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The stuff I wrote here is not quite how I see things going, though; to do that I would have had to write about 395749574 vignettes per year, rather than only one lol so I went for rushed versions of a couple of scenarios I had thought about.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY6Vv5bwrGI
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Oh and while I did not state it in the fic: every vignette takes place on Karin's birthday, so the baby was born on June 20, too.431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeBUFeNL4qg
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Anyway, hopefully, it wasn't that terrible! ♥431Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Oq3oYp5q5
tags: fanfic, karin, naruto, sasukarin, sasuke
i'm : 
cheerful
listening to: never let me go - florence + the machine
ns18.118.159.157da2
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