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© All Rights Reserved
Published on 3 December 2019 (Final)
Authors name - GoldenBeauty170
This a work of fiction. The characters, places, events, and incidents are of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons (living or dead), or actual events is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved. This book or parts of this book may not be reproduced in any form, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means-electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise- without prior knowledge or consent from the author, except as provided by the United States of America copyright law.
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-Sneak Peek-
I wasn't prepared. . . Him coming in and making my broken shattered heart whole again.
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. . .I've been through a lot these past few years and I wasn't expecting her to come crashing in and making everything that was wrong right.
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Not everything, in reality, is as it seems, when everything behind the scenes is falling apart, no one sees that part of your life. Only the people close to you. But what if the only person that you trust has left without a word, You trusted them with everything in you but they just disappeared?
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What would happen? Would you be ok? Would you forgive them for it?
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"I put so much trust in you back then and yo-you just up and left me because you couldn't deal with your problems. " I say tearing up. . . .
"Why then, tell me why did you leave?" I ask tears forming in my eyes.
"Be- Because I was scared to confront my problems. ." He says avoiding my gaze.
"Running away from your problems creates more and it adds up. You can't do it all by yourself. So, why run, stop running and face the problems, face reality, because its only gonna get harder and more challenging from here." I say. . . .
"Because Bella you were the one I wanted to protect, You were the reason I left I didn't want my problems making things worse for you-". . . .
"But why?! . . . . "You think that benefited me?!" . . . . "I spent years in my room at night thinking to myself where in the hell you'd gone, If you were safe? Whether you were alive or dea-" I say yelling back at him, but then get cut off from him crashing his lips into mine. I was shocked.
I tried pulling away, but years apart from someone your longing for makes the times your together much more intense. I then gave in and kissed him back pulling him closer to me. . .
Chapter 1: Shattered
-Whats the difference between the dream world and reality when both seem similar if not exactly alike-
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-Bella's P.O.V.-
-Dreaming-
-Flashback to twelve years ago-
I could hear dad screaming at the top of his lungs at mom from downstairs. Faint whispers from mom can be heard. "What the hell is wrong with you!!" He says.
I open the door carefully, a creek comes from the hinges and I stop abruptly. . . Nothing, I walk down the stairs and stop at the bottom step, my parents can be seen fully from my position. They are in the living room area.
"I'm sorry. . . I'm so sorry, I- I didn't mean t-" She starts but is then cut off by a hard slap to the face which ends in her collapsing on the ground. A scream dares to escape, but I cover my mouth to stop it from coming out. Tears fall freely from her face. "You deserve to die." He says through gritted teeth.
She sits up slightly looking at him with fearful eyes. "What are you gonna do?" She says in a mere whisper.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see something glisten in the light coming from his coat pocket. I can't quite make out what it is. As he takes it out, I can see that its a gun.
I could see that she has done nothing wrong to him but yet it was because he believes that I was a mistake. "Your gonna pay. . ." He says there's a silence that fills the room. "With your life." He says with a look. My eyes widen and I start panicking as he points it in her direction.
"No please N-NOO!" "YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME! She hasn't done anything wrong to you, she's your daughter!" she says sobbing through tears. "You can't do this to her, Please." She says begging him.
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Shots ring out Once. . . Twice. . . Then a third. . . The room started spinning I had to move quickly before he noticed and I start sobbing my emotions moving faster than my brain and my feet. He turns around and starts walking towards me "You!" He says "You ruined me!!" pointing the gun toward me. I rush up the stairs missing a step but regaining my balance rushing into my room slaming the door closed.
He busts the door open and I'm once again faced to face with my dad. "Times change doll, You change or people will change you, ya gotta adapt." He says with a weird looking grin. He comes over to my bed placing the bottom of the gun against my temple. Tears stream down my face and I ask "What did I ever do to you?" In more of a whisper. "You took my life from me, I wanted so much more and got nothing." He says looking at me with disgust.
"B-But it wasn't my fault, I didn't mean any of this." I say as I pull my legs up to my chest, my body shaking violently in fear. He bashes my head in with the gun so hard it nearly breaks my skull. He leaves me just sitting there. Blood trickles down my head from the impact, I drift in and out of consciousness, and then eventually everything turns black. . .
-End of Dream-
-Present-
"NOOOOOOOO." I hear someone scream as I regain consciousness . . . .
I wake up to someone shaking me slightly "Bella, please wake up" I hear a male voice say. I'm covered in sweat gasping for air and crying violently as I open my eyes. "GET OFF OF ME!!!!" I scream pushing whoever was shaking me off harshly. I hear a hard thud on the side of the bed but I'm too shaken up to see who it is.
"What the hell." I hear from the voice, and then he gets up off the floor. Noah. "What happened luv." He asks in a concerned voice. I start to cry and sob even harder putting my head in my hands. "Hey, Hey it's gonna be ok," He says in a calm, quiet, but the soothing voice coming over to embrace me in a tight hug.
I shake my head in reply. "N-No, No, No, No y-you don't u-understand. She's gone." I say through broken sobs hugging him back. "She's gone and its all my fault," I say. "What's all your fault." He asks. "M-My mom sh-she- she died because of me," I say sobbing. "No, No, its not your fault whatever happened back then, whatever dreamt, it was just a nightmare." "Your gonna be ok." He says calmly as ever. I hug him even tighter. "Shh. . . It's alright, Your gonna be ok."
"Promise?" I say letting go slightly looking into his eyes. "I promise." He says looking deep into my eyes with sincerity. I go back to hugging him because as of right now he's the only place I can call home. My one and only, forever. I can't change the past but I can do something about the present and the here and now.
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-Whether I like it or not things will change and I know when the fight comes I'm gonna keep my head up, He won't let me down cause he'll be with me in the middle of my battles and he'll never walk away.-
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- I trust in what you say, Told me I'll be ok. Please don't let me down. Please. . .-
Chapter 2: Change
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- They say when we grow up: "You'll understand when your older." Guess I'm still a kid, I don't know if I'll ever let go. I know I could die any moment but if I could let go will you be ok? . . .-
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-Noahs P.O.V.
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My life is anything but a fairy-tale. In fact its the exact opposite. My mom left when I was six because she couldn't take the things happening around in her everyday life. I don't mean just up and left. I mean she took her own life because not everything is as it seems on the inside as is on the outside to everyone.
To them when they ask if your ok and you say that you are, they are ok with that and keep moving forward.
They think that everything is good on the inside as it seems on the outside. In reality for my mom yes she was ok on the outside, but it was just for show, She was tired and beaten down, to the point she was ok with just leaving. . .
But the question is will I ever have the courage to one day be able to forgive her for leaving me without saying goodbye? Will I ever be ok?
~~. . . .~~
Being an four-year-old kid you never really understand the fullness of everything until you are out in the real world. Starting elementary school was hard. I didn't socialize much with the other kids. I was like an outcast. Noone seemed to care much of who I was or where I'd came from. I was the oldest of three boys, but noone cared to ask. I was broken, but noone seemes to notice. I had scars but noone seemed to stare.
My siblings are rough housing off to the side. "Hey, Hey be careful, Slade you need to be more calm and not so hyper when your playing with Joshua." She says to them. The nanny Sarah separates them both eventually.
With my mom time passed and we weren't close but we'd talk about different things depending on how her mood was that day.
My dad was hardly ever around anymore.
When he did come back around I'd always be so happy to see him. He'd never be happy to see me.
He walked in one night and I went up to him and wrapped my arms around him. He'd smelt of something strong what I now know to be alcohol. He looked at me with a face full of anger. I never understood why. Was it because of me? Did I do something wrong?
-Does he not like me? Why is he always angry with me? Does he care for me? Does he love me?-
He looked down at me with a glare and I didn't understand why at the time but he'd just stand there in the doorway. "I love you Dad." I say in a high tonal voice. But he'd never replied when I said it. He just would walk away in silence. I would be standing there left to wonder why he'd never reply when I said it.
After a while he just stopped coming around. My mom and him never really got along and I started noticing the more I grew up. It was like their relationship was never meant to be it just was, for the sake of us. I was six at the time and I was old enough to know the difference between the words love and hate. Even if I didn't quite understand how one was so good and the other was so bad.
One night I hear my mom calling me into the dining room to eat dinner. I rush from my room downstairs to the dinner table.
My siblings were already in there. I take a seat on the left of Josh. "Alright, Now hold hands please. We are going to say a prayer." My mom said. She always did this but I never understood why it was important.
I started to get more involved with trying to pursue a career in the designing field. I showed a couple of things to my mom one day sitting on the couch, she started crying and said, "This isn't you." "Why can't I do things that I wanna do mom?" I ask frustrated.
As I'm about to storm out of the room she replies "It's not how I remember my young open-minded son." She replied tears coming down her face. "Yea, well I've changed from that boy you once knew, reality changes you." I say in a harsh tone.
Tonight felt different though, she wasn't acting herself, she still had that weary smile that I'd grown to know. It was something about the way she held herself that made a pit form at the bottom of my stomach. Like I could sense something was going to happen to someone.
As my siblings and I finish our plates I say "Mom, may I be excused?" "Yes just make sure to put your plate in the sink ok?" She replies. I say "Yes ma'am." and take my plate in the kitchen.
It's bedtime and I'm in my room getting ready for bed when I hear a thud downstairs. I'm the only one awake since my siblings are asleep in their rooms. I decide to go and see what the sound was from.
I walk down the hall to the top of the stairs and stop to look over the railing. I see that my mom is lying on the floor. A bottle of pills in her hand some scattered about the floor.
In a rush down the stairs, I miss a step but regain my balance and run over to where she is. "Mom? Are you ok?!" I say grabbing her face gently my hands shaking.
She doesn't respond. "Mom?!" I say a bit louder shaking her a bit. I check her neck to see if there was a pulse. There was none. I tried to hold back the tears and Sarah came running into the room. She was shocked at what she'd seen before her.
"What happened here? She asks. "I-I don't know, I'm not entirely sure because I was getting ready for bed and I heard a loud thud." I say tears threatening to come out.
"Ok, ok let's get you out of here though." "I'm going to call for help." She says dialing for the police and holds her hand out for me to take. I gladly take it and stand up from the floor. She tries shielding me from the view of mom; however, I turn to see her lifeless body
From that day on I never got to actually hug my mom again. Hear her, see her, physically touch her.
I've been to funerals and felt the sadness when a person died and felt sad when other people were sad, but I never understood what it was like to actually lose someone and never get to physically see them anymore.
There is no more life lessons to be taught from them.
There is no more "I love you."
There is no more "I miss you."
No more "Your going to get through this."
Most of all no more physical touch.
I know your gone but I can still feel you.
There isn't any word to express or explain how it feels to not be able to physically touch someone. As life goes on you heal from their death but you still miss them because you think back to what the good memories were and how it would be if they were still here.
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Things change you, you encounter different challenges in life and it molds you into the person you are. That's how I am except I don't know how to move on from a death of a loved one. Why can't I though.
-I'm sick of thinking back to what happened and having the feeling of being so empty. Of missing someone that'll never be again on this earth.-
Why is life so cruel?
Why can't I just forget?!
Why isn't life better than just hurt, heartache, pain and suffering?!!!
About a week later we had the funeral.
. . . .
-Current age (10)-
All I remember is pain, I hate the way I remember you. You were on the floor. Gave everything to those things. An absolute life destroyer. You cared more about them than you did your own blood. You were willing to just give your life away like it meant absolutely nothing.
-I guess you never cared enough or you'd still be here But why? Why would you leave us here?- I think crying screaming slamming my door closed.
I have a picture of her in my room on my desk. But I don't need a picture of my mom I need the real thing.
In the biggest fit of rage, I walk over to the mirror. Staring at my reflection is like looking at a stranger. The person I knew isn't the person I see in the reflection.
I don't know who I am anymore. I take my fist and swung it at the mirror. It instantly shattered shards of glass flying everywhere. A few pieces got stuck in my hand and it's gushing out blood. I stare at my reflection my eyes dark and pitch black. 747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYsLSlXrtF
I don't remember what happens next because in an instant I go from infront of the mirror to being on the bed. Sarah standing infront of me, she looks like a worried mess, there's a gash in her cheek. Blood gushing out of the deep wound.
"W-What happened?" I asked worried. "I heard a loud sound of glass shattering so i rushed up here to find you standing infont of the mirror with a dark look over your face. I started to pull you away and you did this." She said pointing out the gash in her face. 747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoQNdE2YMe
"You really don't remember Noah?" She asked worried. I shake my head no. I tried remembering what happened but nothing came up; it was just after me slamming my fist into the mirror I can't remember anything.747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhX1P6ScdHe
I think I blacked out.
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. . .
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-A few years ago-
- My friends and I are at the park sitting on a bench in a shaded area.-
-How is she doing? I hope she's ok. I haven't seen her in years. Will she allow me back into her life?-
I'm then pulled out of my own personal thoughts.
A girl around my age walks by. -She looks so much similar- No, no it's not her. Get out of your head- I tell myself while staring at her intently.
"Yo, Noah. You good?" Alex asks waving a hand in front of my face. "Uhhh, yea thanks. I'm just- uh no yea I'm fine." I say. "Alright, if you say so" He says back. "I think I'm just gonna go." I say standing up looking at them. "Man why, your always either avoiding us nowadays or not talking to any of us at all anymore." Liam asked in a rude tone. "Ya know, If you were really understanding, you would look at things from my perspective and see that not everything in my life is always ok, ya know but then again you could careless am I right?" I ask in an annoyed but a bit angered tone walking away.
"You think he'll be ok? Alex asks the group. "Yea, he'll be fine. Its just a phase. It'll be ok." Liam replies.
-Whats wrong with me? Why is it so hard grasping the fact that No one will understand what's going on in my life?!- I ask myself angered and annoyed as hell.
I pull my hood over my head and continue walking placing my hands in my pockets with my head down music blasting in my ears.
In a split second I'm colliding with someone bumping my shoulder against her. They are about to collapse, but just before I manage to Pull them back upright, and now I'm staring into a pair of eyes that so much reminded me of 'her'.
"U-Uh, excuse me." She says with a look of shock.
"Are you alright?" I ask
"I apologize, I wasn't watching where I was going." I say hesitating a bit on whether I should ask if i know her. -She looks just like her. . .-
"Yea, I can tell. It's alright I do that my self at times. Just make sure not to get caught up too much into it where you are unaware of what's going on around you." She says looking directly into my eyes as if she was searching for something. Looking for something from- her past? Like- like I looked familiar but she wasn't sure.
Her eyes widen in shock like she realizes something but maybe not because she disregards it and has a guarded type of look.
"W-What? Is there something wrong?" She asks. "No. It's just you remind me so much of a person I knew when I was younger." I say with a pause.
Immediately a look of shock washes over her. "I was wondering the same about you. What's your name?" She asks with curiosity. "Noah," I reply again she looks shocked covering her hand over her mouth. "No way. Y-You can't be. . ." She says. "Can't be who?" I ask. "Dude, It's Me, It's Bella." She says with tears forming in her eyes.
I tried to reply but nothing came out I was just as shocked as she was.
"What are you doing back here? I thought you'd just left. Why so many years? No reply. No, hey are you ok. No letter, no email, no nothing? So why, Why now?" She asked as she steps just a bit closer the scent of her perfume fills my nostrils.
I remembered that smell from anywhere and it's something I'd missed. A few people now beginning to stare.
"Because I didn't know what was happening down here. I would have checked on you. You know that but I- just couldn't bring myself to put you back in my life after everything I've put you through it's not-" I say but she cuts me off by saying, "What you put me through? It didn't have anything to do with you, we both were going through stuff personally. We were there for each other. Then you just out of nowhere up and left. But why?"
I try to find the words to respond but nothing comes out I look deep into her eyes trying to find what's broken. Tears fall freely from her eyes and I wipe them away brushing my thumb under her eyes in a smooth gentle motion. "It's going to be alright," I say. She then hugs me tightly crying into my chest.
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If you want the real reason it was the fact that I couldn't face her. I couldn't bear to see the look on her face when I came back. I needed a change. A chance to be away from everything I'd previously ever known. A chance to start over.
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But little did I know that when I'd left I didn't know that me leaving would be the cause of many people's suffering including the person I held very near and dear to my heart.
Change is good it helps you grow from the person you once were but if you can't grow from all the things from your past. If you can't physically run away from all of your problems and let go of all the suffering all the pain all of the bad things done to you.
Then what's the point of change?
It's to adapt and build yourself into someone that will share their experiences with the world.
Me personally I still haven't fully learned how to. Why? Because I haven't actually faced my problems and given them all up to the point that I actually let the feeling of the pain, the hurt, and the suffering go.
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Well, I was stupid and couldn't face my own problems.
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Or was it that I didn't want to?
-End-
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Chapter 3: Running
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-I'm Lost and It Kills Me Inside. . .-
-Don't act like your my friend when you know you'll never be there for me when I need you.-
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-Isabellas Pov-
-3 Yrs. Ago-
-I needed to clear my head so I .-
I'm not exactly paying attention to the world around me, and I collide with a hard chest, I'm just about to fall, so I close my eyes tightly bracing for impact. I realize that my body didn't ever hit the ground but instead I feel a pair of arms wrap around my body holding me tightly upright so I didn't fall backwards. I then slowly open my eyes and see a very familiar pair of blue orbs staring back at me.
"Noah?" I say in almost a whisper. The whole world fades as I realize who I'm talking to. "Bella?" He says in a simple voice. "Its been years, Wh- What happened to you?" I ask. "Well, In the last few days you'd gotten to see me I was through with putting up with my dad so I ra-" He says but I interrupt. "You left me and didn't say anything? W-Why? I thought we were friend." She says.
"I put so much trust in you back then and yo-you just up and left me because you couldn't deal with your problems." "Why, tell me why did you leave?" I ask tears forming in my eyes. "Be- Because I was scared to confront my problems, and in that moment I didn't really feel the need to be around my dad so, I left. . ." He says avoiding my gaze. "Well, first off you could have at least given me a heads up about it instead you just didn't say anything at all." I say sadly looking into his eyes.
"Because 'Bella you were the one I wanted to protect, You were the reason I left I didn't want my problems making things worse for you and things were already hard for you so I just decided to not-" He says in a loud tone but I cut him off again. "Running away from your problems creates more and it adds up in the end. You can't do it all by yourself. So, why run, stop running and face the problems, face reality, because its only gonna get harder and more challenging from here." I say tearing up at the thought of everything we- I went through as a kid with him there by my side the whole step of the way. I trusted in him, I relied on him, I needed him, and confided in him and he just one day decided to leave me.
"But why?! Why did you leave me then!! When did you think that it would ever be ok for me to go through what I went through when you were gone?" I say half yelling at him trees roaring in my ears. "Damn it, Bella because I love you. I left because I didn't want you to hurt from what I was going through! I didn't know how to deal with my problems at that time and I didn't want you to have to be the one solving everything for me so I left. I did it to benefit you." He says yelling.
"You think that benefited me? I spent many years in my room at night thinking to myself where in the hell you'd gone, If you were safe, Weather you were alive or dea-" I say yelling back at him, but then get cut off from him crashing his lips into mine. The world started spinning and everything that I thought about, everything that I knew disappeared. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't think at all. Other than that moment in time. One of his hands are in my hair the other is wrapped tightly around my waist like he's not planning to let go anytime soon, my hands make their way up his chest and find their way into his hair. I wish the moment lasted forever but he's the one to break it and it leaves me breathless and wanting more. "Wha-" I say "Don't make me do it again." he says his eyes changing to the dark blue color that I know very well. "I wanted you to shut up, so I did that." He says with a slight grin. I punch him in the chest lightly. "Ouch that hurt." He says. "Yea right, Don't make me do it again." I say trying to mock him smiling.
"If that's how you wanna play it so be it." He says grinning wildly.
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-6 Yrs Old-
I wake up on my bed. I look around and nothing looks familiar, My head is pounding. As I get up from the bed I realize that the bed itself is covered with blood. I run downstairs to find out if someone is in the house. "Hello?" I say, no reply. I go into the living room and my mom is on the floor in a pool of her own blood but it looks a dried. "What day is it?!" I cradle her in my arms as I regain memory of what happen. "No, No, No , No please come back. I need you, Please. You can't leave. Please pleaaaseee!!" I say through sobbing. "I don't know what I'd do without you. Please." I say knowing there'll be no getting her back because she's already gone.
I run in the woods away from reality, tears stream down my face like a never ending waterfall. As I get deeper into the woods I hear a snap of a branch so I stop mid-stride. Hiding behind a big tree, I see a figure approaching its a boy. He stops and its like he knew I was there. "Hello?" "Who are you" He asks. "N-No don't come any closer." I say scared not knowing what'd happen if he got closer. He then still contines to approach me tears still streaming down my face. "What's wrong?" He asks. "I-I d-don't wan-wanna talk abo-ut it." I say tears falling even more, my face hurts from how scrunched up it is. "Do you wanna hug? he asks. "Y-Yes" I say willing to accept it. At this point I just want someone to care for me and not bypass like everything is ok. He bends down to my level and wraps me into a strong embrace which makes me cry even harder. "Your gonna be ok." he says in a soothing tone.
-I wanna trust him, but I'm scared to put my trust in anyone because of my dad.-
-Will I, will I really?-
-Noah's P.O.V.-
-Few years later: 9 Years Old-
-Bella's now 8 Years Old-
I've gotten to know the girl that I met in the woods whose name I've come to know as Isabella. We meet near the exact same spot each and every day. This time was different though. I'm going to regret this for the rest of my life. I didn't end up meeting her. I told my dad I wasn't staying there any longer I was so fed up with what was happening between us. He wondered why we had no relationship.
-I'm sorry Bella, please out of the goodness of your heart.- -Forgive me please.- I say to myself.
I left to live with the rest of the pack upstate in our territory, where we'd been living was good because no one knew I was half wolf half human. I'd like to keep it that way because when tension starts to rise, then people start to fall off because population decreases and a war starts.
-Isabella's P.O.V.-
-10 Years Old-
-Are you ok? Where'd you disappear to? Why?- I ask myself tears forming in my eyes. One escapes and then another and another and soon a full flood of tears are pouring down my face.
Chapter 4: New Beginings
-Isabella's P.O.V.-
-17 Years Old (Current Age)-
-Why'd you leave, You said you wouldn't. I guess you don't remember because you were now gone. Without a goodbye. Where'd you go? Are you safe, Will I ever see you? Or are you lost in time?-
-I want to hate you so bad for everything you did to me. But I love you too much to hate you. I hate you for leaving, I hate you for not saying good-bye. But I love you too much to ever let you go... .- I think to myself. . .
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Year after year pass. Time goes on with no reply, no answer no nothing from him. I miss him more than anything. He just up and left without a word.
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-Recap-
-Isabella's P.O.V.-
"I put so much trust in you back then and yo-you just up and left me because you couldn't deal with your problems. Running away from your problems creates more and it adds up in the end. You can't do it all by yourself. So, why run, stop running and face the problems, face reality, because it is only gonna get harder and more challenging from here." I say tearing up at the thought of everything we- I went through as a kid with him there by my side the whole step of the way. I trusted in him, I relied on him, I needed him and confided in him and he just one day decided to leave me. . . .
"You think that benefited me? I spent many years in my room at night thinking to myself where in the hell you'd gone, If you were safe, Weather you were alive or dead-" I say before he crashes his lips into mine my eyes widen. . . .
"Don't make me do it again," he says, his eyes changing to the dark blue colour that I know very well. "I wanted you to shut up, so I did what I had to do." He says with a slight grin. I punch him in the chest lightly. "Ouch, that hurt." He says putting his hand where I'd just punched him. "Yeah right, Don't make me do it again," I say trying to mock him smiling.
"If that's how you wanna play it so be it." He says grinning wildly. . . . .
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-Noah's P.O.V.-
-18 Years Old (Current Age)-
Time went by as if it were hours on end. I'm now eighteen and I miss 'Bella like hell. There hasn't been a day that's gone by that I haven't thought about her. I've received word that my father was killed, so I'm on my way back to my home.
-Hopefully your still there. I've grown to love you more than you ever know.- It is amazing how the more your away from a person you develop the strongest feelings for them as distance separates you.
"Sup dawg, Long time no see. Where ya been." Alex asks as I approach the group. "Busy," I reply not exactly paying attention to him. "Yo, what's up with you, problems at home? Let me guess, a girl's got you all caught up in her pretty little self." He says. "If you don't shut up. Your gonna wish you'd have done something a long time ago." I say glaring at him. "Wow. Someone's got a problem" Alex says, I snap grabbing him by the shirt. "You know full well a lot is going on. Don't mess with me. you know my past, we've been through hell and back and your still gonna act like a punk, I'd watch your back If I were you." I say in a harsh tone.
I let him go and turn towards the rest of the group. In the back, I can see that people are entering school. I see one particular person that looks familiar so I turn towards the figure. -'Bella.- I think to myself. "How've ya been," Omar asks. I completely ignore him and walk in the direction she's in. A girl walks up to her and they hug each other, she smiles bright and it's just as I remember from before.
-Damn, You make a few years away from each other look like nothing.- I think to myself. She looks in my direction and her eyes lock on mine, her eyes widen. She says something to her friend and then walks over to me. . .
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To get an understanding of what's happening so far, because I know someone out there's like what the hell is going on. Noah and Isabella met each other in a forest, they got to know each other and all the problems that came with them. They'd been there for each other when no one else was there. One day Noah just didn't show up. He left not saying anything. He'd been dealing with his dad and he had enough. A few years later he comes back and they are both in high school now. Isabella's been through a lot while Noah was away and it seemed he didn't care because he didn't call, text or anything for that matter. Speeding up to now they've missed a lot of time with each other and they are happy to be back together catching up with one another is gonna be a challenge though.
A few days after the park Noah asked Isabella to be his girl, Of course, she said yes.
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-Sitting at lunch with Isabella, at my table with my group.-
"I don't know why you left in the first," She says looking at me, my arm wrapped around her waist holding her close to me. "I mean I do but it just didn't make any sense as to why you just didn't say anything before hand." "It's because I was in a bad place and still sorta am but please forgive me." "Yea, very but I forgive you for it because that's just me." she says back looking back with cheerful eyes."
"I'd have a hard time not forgiving you, then I'd hate myself for not giving you a chance to explain yourself." She says while hugging me back.
"Who's this?" the girl from before says coming up to her. "Oh, Hey Lilly this is Noah the one I've told you about. Remember we met as kids and he'd left, I missed him like hell, but he's back now. That's all that matters to me." She says while looking at her hugging me tighter.
"Ohhhh, Wolf boy. Yea. yea. I remember. Hey, I'm Lilly, Isabella's best friend, It's nice to finally meet you in person. I've heard so much about you." She says while smiling slightly looking towards me. "She never stops talking about you." She says rolling her eyes.
"Same to you." I say sorta annoyed by the way she called me 'wolf boy'. "So," Lilly says. "What?" 'Bella asks. "Are you two like a thing now?" She asks Isabella about to say something but I quickly interject. "Yea, we are," I say simply my friends looking shocked since I hadn't told any of them. "Yo what, Why didn't you tell us, bro," Liam asks. " 'Cause you guys are always nosy," I say looking a bit annoyed. "Woah, I'm sorry. Seems time went on but your still the same." Liam says while looking at me with a serious face.
Liam winks at 'Bella like she's his property. Like they're a thing and I'm just invisible not even there. I look at him with a growl, my inner wolf growling from deep within me.
"You're practically just asking for him to do something to you." I hear Isabella say, I look at her calming a bit. "Well, You wanna take this outside then," Liam says in an edging tone, trying to get under my skin. . . .
-Sneak peek... .-
Before I know it both boys rush outside in the blink of an eye. I'm sitting there dumbfounded, and then I'm up dashing for the door trying to get outside before anything happens to either of them. . . .
"What the hell is wrong with you," I ask Noah seeing that he's on the ground, I struggle to pull him off of Liam. Revealing that he's got a busted bloodied lip and a bruised eye that's not going to go away anytime soon.
"He started it." He replies. "He's known what has happened my whole life because we've known each other since we were kids. Before I met you (me) "What happened?" I ask both of them. "We were the best of friends when we were younger. . . ." Liam says from the ground.
Chapter 5: Time
-I just need time.-
-Recap-
"You're practically just asking for him to do something to you." I hear Isabella say, I look at her calming a bit. "Well, You wanna take this outside then," Liam says in an edging tone, trying to get under my skin. . .
-Outside on school property near the cafeteria.-
-Isabella's P.O.V.-
Before I know it both boys rush outside in the blink of an eye. I'm sitting there dumbfounded, and then I'm up dashing for the door trying to get outside before anything happens to either of them. . . .
"What the hell is wrong with you," I ask Noah seeing that he's on the ground, I struggle to pull him off of Liam. Revealing that he's got a busted bloodied lip and a bruised eye that's not going to go away anytime soon. He punches him in the gut and the air is pulled out of him.
"He started it." He replies. "He's known what has happened my whole life because we've known each other since we were kids. Before I met you (me) "What happened?" I ask both of them. "We were the best of friends when we were younger. . . ." Liam says from the ground.
"It's time you boys made up. I say while looking towards Noah with an 'If you don't I'll kill you glare.'
-Noah's P.O.V.-
I hold my arm out to help him back up from the ground and he accepts it. Pulling himself back to his feet I say "You do it again I won't go as easy on you, understand?" near his ear in a low voice so that 'Bella doesn't hear. "Sure." He replies.
I walk back over to 'Bella and wrap her in my arms. Claiming her as mine. "You touch her, you so much as even look at her and your dead," I say in his direction meaning that the next time will be the last.
"Alright, damn. I get it. No touching your girl, I got it." Liam says looking away.
-The last bell rings indicating that it's time to go home now.-
"Finally, we're out of this hell hole," Noah says leading me towards his car. I punch him in the chest as he opens the door for me to get in.
When we're both in he starts the car up, he places his hand over mine. It's a very comforting gesture. I hold his big hand in my small one on my lap. I can hear my heartbeat speed up a bit and I pray to God he doesn't have a heightened sense of hearing because I feel as if I could explode at any moment.
We reach my house, and he gets out to open my door. Coming around to my side and opening the door he says "Milady." a playful grin on his face. "Shut up," I say grinning big getting out leaning up against the car. He closes the door and asks "So, any plans for tonight?" "Depends, What do you have planned?" I ask smiling.
"Ummm, Well for a start I thought we could go to- somewhere but I can't tell you." He says. "Nooo, Sorry I think I'm busy," I say walking away slowly. He grabs my hand and twirls me around to where I can feel his hot breath on my face, we are inches from each other one of his hands are on the small of my back the other is in between us. "Really? Last time I checked you didn't do much after school." He said.
"Yea, I'm sure. Positive." I try to loosen myself from his grip but it was to tight. In an instant his lips are on mine, my arms find their way into his hair and they get entangled in his brown locks. Our position has now changed my hands are in his hair, and one of his hands is supporting my back while the other is holding from behind my neck. His tongue asking for entrance like he hasn't seen me for a century, which is what it feels like however, I decide to play with him not allowing it. After a good minute and what seemed like a half passed and by the end, I'm thinking about nothing other than him in the back of my mind.
"Did that change your mind." He asks "No, sorry." I say winking at him while turning and walking up the steps entering the house and closing the door, leaving him there standing dumbfounded.
That week came and went. There's a bonfire tonight. I don't wanna go but Lilly insisted so why not? What's the worst that can happen? I dress in a black leather jacket, skinny jeans, and converse.
When we get there people have gathered around in a circle I see bottles of alcohol lying here and there. Time passes and I get lost in thought. Lilly comes up to me drunk as ever. "Heyyy, you need to do something other than sitting there." She says stammering. "Woah, you've had one too many drinks." It takes a couple of times for her to convince me to do it, but I give in. When I lift the bottle up to my mouth I feel the glass on my lips and the liquid pouring into my mouth and it instantly wants to make me hurl, my stomach is churning and I feel a burning sensation in my throat but after a while, I need a break.
I step away from the fire walking deeper into the woods. I stop near a huge tree covering the sky but not too much I still have some moonlight.
A branch snaps.
I turn back towards the fire, a figure emerging from the black haze of my vision. "Who's there, Don't come any closer," I say my defence on high.
My eyes caught Noah's. "Are you crazy?!" He calls to me. "Y-You stay there, I-I'm fine." "N-Nooo I sure don't need your help." My head started to throb. It felt as if someone was trying to intentionally hit me in the head repeatedly. It was the most intense horrible feeling I've ever had. In my rear vision, I can see that what ever's happening to me is happening to Noah as well. "D-Do you feel that too?" I ask concerned. "Yea, what the hell." He says his eyes blazing, different emotions in them. His hand reaching out for me trailing down my arm leaving me speechless. At his touch, the throbbing immediately stopped.
Gravity or something around us is pulling us closer together like it would happen whether we wanted it or not.
"Oh f*ck it." He collides with me and his mouth is on mine.
I feel tingles start to spread through my body. I instantly wrap my arms around his neck and my hands are in his hair. Pressing my body closer to his, he wraps his arms around my waist and licks my lips asking for entrance. His tongue slips into my mouth, claiming me as his. I feel my back hit the tree behind me. He pulls back his arms tightening around my waist as his forehead touches mine, We are both left breathless locked in an embrace.
Chapter 6: Forgive
-Why do I feel like I lost something that I never had?-
-You spend your life in a coma you never awake.-
-Why did you leave us?- -How could you leave us?-
-Will I ever forgive you for it?-
-WAKE UP.-
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-My mom always wanted me to to something worth it in life. She told me "A surgeon, You can be something in the medical field." Something like that. I haven't always known what to do I'm still young, although I still have dreams. Maybe Writer, or doing something hands-on, but not exactly-
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-5 Years Old(From current age P.O.V.)-
-Noah's P.O.V.-
"Mama, One day I wanna be able to become a designer." I say looking into her broken eyes. "You can be whatever you want honey." She says in a sweet voice. My siblings are messing around near both of us. "Hey, Hey be careful you guys need to be more calm like your brother." She says to them.
Time passes and I as I got older and started learning different things, I wanted to be able to have a relationship with my mom. We weren't close but we'd talk about different things depending on how her mood was that day. I started to get more involved with trying to pursue a career in the designing field. I showed a couple of things to my mom, she started crying and said "This isn't you."
I cry into my pillow case you say your coming to get us but call a minute later just to tell us your not. I'm in a room with a parent that I don't barely know. There's a person in the corner watching us while she's taking notes.
"Don't you wanna watch us grow up." I guess not all you have to say is "No." You won't do it will you, Your gonna keep taking the pills till they kill you.
Couple of weeks later you had a different view point. I know those pills got you held captive, I can see in your eyes they've got your mind captured. I don't need a picture, I need the real thing. I know your gone but I can still feel you. It took everything inside of me not to scream at your funeral. You should've been there for me told me you loved me. Instead you left me waiting. Where are you at?
I was a kid who didn't understand it, I'm not gonna say I forgive you 'cause it hasn't happened.
I thought I'd be alright as time passes. If you really cared them where are you at?
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All I remember is pain, I hate the way I remember you. You were on the floor. Gave everything to those pills and your life. Why would you leave us here?
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You won't be there for me. . . . I won't ever get to see you, I hate myself for not calling, being mad at you, I wish I'd just loved you.
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-I'm sorry. . . I'm so sorry-
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I wanna do things differently, There's things I wanna take back, but its too late. You don't know what your missing till it falls apart.
-Whats wrong with me? Why did I not do anything about problems then. I know you've been calling, but I never call back I've been distant lately.-
What do I do next?
I'm lost.
I don't feel anything.
I'm can't move. . . .
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Chapter 7: Broken
-What's to lose if all you have is broken?-
-Noah's P.O.V.-
Days turn into weeks months turn into years and I'm running from the past. What can I do to change all that's happened? I can't just let it go and allow everything to be fine when I know it isn't.
____
I don't show to the library because someone showed up. I can't say who but I just know things are about to get crazy. I can feel it pulsing through my veigns.
-Few days later-
I sit on my bed and after a short while fall asleep.
The next day I get a call from Isabella, she sounds like she'd had a nightmare again.
"What's wrong. . . ." I ask she replies saying the things keep popping back up and she doesn't know what to do.
I arrive at the house to see another car. Bella and another man walk down the stairs as I enter the main doorway.
-What the hell.- I say to myself
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Chapter 8: Twisted
-"We're supposed to be grown but you're still acting childish."-
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-Isabella's P.O.V.-
-Noah and I are outside in the courtyard sitting on one of the benches after school when Kai a boy in my chemistry class walks up to me. It's currently 4:20 school lets out at 4:00. We were assigned a project and it HAS to be done with a partner quote unquote according to my teacher.-
"Hey. I was wondering if you would be able to stay after school today to do research for the project." He says. "Uh yea sure, but I'm gonna need a ride afterwards." I say. "I coul-." "I'll pick you up at 7:00, 7:30." Noah interjects. "I'll see you later?" I say getting up from the bench hugging Noah and grabbing my stuff. "Yea." He replies. "Alright, luv you." I say while walking away.
We enter the library there's people studying quietly. Some people have their headphones in minding their own business others are talking with another person
The librarian looks up and asks "How can I help you lovely people today?" "I think we're ok for now." I reply quietly and we go to a table near the back by the windows. We take a seat and I pull my laptop, my notebook and a pencil out. He puts his stuff down and goes to browse the collection of books. I do research online and find some things on the topic, other things are useless.
Kai comes back with a big stack of textbooks. "What are we supposed to with all of those?!" I say whisper yelling. "Research." He replies. I sit there like he's gonna regret this later. He sits down and pulls out a notebook and a pencil, takes one of the textbooks off the stack and starts to do some research towards the center of the book.
After some time on the computer I got a lot of information out of google. I had five full pages of absolutely nothing but notes. Kai had gone through all the textbooks and found more information than I would've expected in a textbook. The library is getting ready to close, so we pack our things and head out. Once we get outside I look for Noah's car but he's no where in sight. I try calling but after a few rings it goes straight to voicemail, I don't bother and continue to wait.
"Where is he," I say more to myself. "Hey, You want me to drive you home?" U-Um. . . No, I'm ok. I think I'll wait, thank you though." I say. "Are you sure? I could wait with you so you're not by yourself if you want, I mean it's getting to be pretty late." "Uhhh. Sssure if you want to you can, I can't stop you."
After a while of waiting Noah still hasn't shown up. It's now 8:00 p.m. "He said he'd be here." I say looking down.
"Alright, I really don't want you here way after hours by yourself. Please let me drop you off wherever you are staying." He says. We get in his car and drive to my house. Once we arrive I get out, open the back door and grab my things telling him good bye.
"Thank you so much for dropping me off." I say and close the door rushing inside. I'm tired as hell. So, I head up to my room change into my night clothing wash my face and brush my teeth, by the time I'm done it's 10:00 p.m. I turn all the lights off and when I hit the bed I instantly fall asleep.
. . . .
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"What happened to you before is over, you don't have to deal with it any more." I say to him.
Chapter 9: Dreams
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It's like a dream that never ends. . . .-
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-Isabella's P.O.V.-
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Shots ring out One. . . Two. . . Three. . . Tears stream down my face like a never-ending river. "How could you?!"
"Monster!" I say through sobs. "I did what I had to do, You can choose to forgive and forget or stay like this." My dad replies.
"I will never forgive you," I say through gritted teeth.
He pulls the trigger, but it doesn't hit me, It's in my direction but instead of hitting me it goes passed me into the window and it shatters.
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"NOOOO!!!!" I say sitting upright. My blood pulsing faster than it ever has before. My body shaking as I pull myself into a ball on my bed crying till I couldn't anymore. "Why? When will this nightmare ever end?" I say to myself crying tears falling onto my knees.
I decide to call Noah to try and calm the trembling down to a minimum. He picks up within a few seconds.
"Hey what's wrong?" He asks. "I- can't forget what happened. It keeps coming back up." I say in a shaky voice.
"Where are you?" He asks. "At home." I say "I'm coming don't move." He replies and hangs up as I was about to object.
It takes him a few minutes but he finally arrives. He rings the doorbell signaling he's there I go downstairs to open the door but it isn't him. My eyes widen in shock at who's at my door.
It's my dad.
"How've you been missy?" He asks as if he wanted to see me.
I stand there emotions building up on the inside of me. I feel anger, fear, and sadness. I try closing the door but it ends up slamming into a foot.
"I thought you would be happy to see me," he says. "Why would I ever want to see you? You ruined my entire life because of your selfishness." I reply tears threatening to come out. He's on the other side of the door and a little space is in between but it's like neither of us wants anything to do with each other, or maybe it's just me. "I've come to finish what I started. I decided to spare your life the last few times just 'cause I didn't need that on my hands." He says pushing the door open. I try to keep it closed, but it's no use. He's inside like it was nothing getting through the door. Holding a gun he comes toward me and I take off.
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-Not again, not again, please no not again.- Tears streaming down my face like a waterfall.
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Chapter 10: Light
-. . . And she was out like a light. . .-
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-Isabella's P.O.V.-
I head upstairs to try and get away from him, I pass a window and see another car pulling in. Noah's car. I couldn't be more thankful to see him than now.
I enter my room and close the door locking it behind me. I go into my closet because let's face it if there's a place to hide in this situation it would be a closet. Or that's just what I know to do.
I hear footsteps I cover my mouth to try and muffle my breathing. My dad enters the room stopping, I see his feet in front of the closet. He hollers from the other side fully aware I'm in there and if I don't come out that it's gonna be much worse.
I don't dare move a muscle. The door bursts open, my dad standing there with an angered expression. "Up now." He says in a hurry pointing the gun at me motioning me to move. Not wanting him to do anything I move out of the closet into my room near my bed.
He goes over to the window and sees there's another car outside. "You called someone?!" He asks while pointing the gun at me from behind. We walk downstairs the barrel of the gun is pressed up against my back. It's cold and deadly. Standing in the doorway I see Noah as we descend the stairs.
"Let go of her." He says in a loud voice. "I wouldn't think of doing that in a million years. She's mine now. Pretty soon to be buried beneath the earth, If ya know what I mean." My dad says in a low tone. Noah approaches both of us cautiously. "I wouldn't do that if I were you." My dad says.
"You see I'm the one with the gun. What I say goes or this here fine girl that you call a "lover" will end up dying." "No sudden movements am I clear." He says. No reply. "Am I clear?" He says again in a stern voice. "Alright, Alright, we'll play by your rules," Noah says a smirk appearing on his face like this is a fun game he'd play any day of the week.
-Uh hello, My life is on the line here let's move things along.- I say in my head.
"What do you want with her anyway," Noah asks. "What I've always wanted, to see her no more." "I want her out . . . like a light." He says from behind me. A grin plastered on his face. At that, he pulls the trigger. It hits me in the stomach. I'm on the floor coughing up tons of blood. Noah rushes to my side holding my stomach applying pressure to it.
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Chapter 11: Up in Smoke
-All that happened went Up In Smoke. . . .-
-Isabella's P.O.V.-
"Noooo!" Noah shouts. "Please don't leave me." He says a tear falls from his cheek. I fall in and out of consciousness. I can see Noah crying "I love you." I say in a weak voice. My voice is shaky and fragile.
I can see out of the corner of my eye my dad has a wide grin on his face, like his whole life up till now meant everything in this moment. "Well, I appreciate your time. I'm done here." He says and is about to walk off but Noah grabs him by the back of his shirt and slams him against the wall.
"What the hell did you say? No, We aren't "finished" yet." He says through gritted teeth.
"No Noah- Don't do it," I say coughing up more blood.
"Something's gotta be done and if not me then who?" Noah replies.
He throws my dad on the floor and starts punching him. "What did she ever do to you to ever deserve this?!" He asks. No reply "Nothing? so why the hell kill your daughter over it." "She didn't want any of this so why are you causing her so much trouble?!" Noah yells, No reply.
My dad dodges a few punches but by the end, after a while, Noah stops, My dad's lip is bloodied and swollen he's got a black eye and he's practically laying there lifeless.
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I continue holding my stomach gushing blood. Noah comes over to me and applies pressure to my wound covering my hands.
-End Of P.O.V.-
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-Noah's P.O.V.
"Your gonna be ok I promise," I say looking into her eyes holding her hand in mine. She looks at me sad knowing everything we've been through was about to end.
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"Everything we've been through was for a reason, I promised you everything would be ok. It is isn't it?" "Nothing from before was ever your fault. Don't ever blame yourself for what happened, It's in the past now so move on from whatever burden is holding you back. Your gonna be just fine." If you allow the burden to become stronger then things you don't want to come up will happen and it'll be much worse. I promised I'd be ok, and I am. I want you to be happy to." She says with a weak smile. Her eyes slowly closed and her grip loosens in my hand. "No, please no, come back I love you," I say gripping her hand tightly clinging onto it. He checks for a pulse in her neck there was none.
Tears fall like streams flowing rapidly out of a river. Non-stop. "Not you too." "Please come back," I say holding her hand sobbing into her.
"Why did you have to leave me too?" I ask myself.
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Bonus Chapter
-Everything fades when you have nothing left.-
How far are you willing to go when the person you love is right at the tips of your fingers, but you in a split second allow them to slip away into thin air like it meant nothing?
Bella meant the world to me, but I guess the universe had other plans and just like that she was gone. Gone from what family she had left. From the friends she had. From the earth. From me. . . .
Let me tell you it definitely was not easy letting her go.747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCummA8s3e
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Still to this day I wish I had just gotten another day.
A few more hours.747Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxxIEuKdFa
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Another minute.
To at least say goodbye.
I know she's in a better place now but it still hurts to let her go.
I wish she was still here, cause there'll be no more I love you, no more hugs and kisses, no good-byes or cya later. It's just me and my life ahead of me and I'm gonna have to endure that for the rest of my life.
So, if you have someone you cherish that's very close to you, please out of the goodness of your heart love them like there's no tomorrow. Be there for them when they ask you to there's no going back.
Your gonna wish you were there to have memories of the good, wish you'd spent more time with that person. Wish you'd picked up the call when they needed you Wish that they were still there still hugging you telling you everything's gonna be alright and that there's nothing you have to worry about and that everything's under control not to worry even though your whole world is shattered to pieces and broken and your beat. Your gonna want to have them beside you no matter what you go through and whatever you go through they're always standing right by you in it. Through the fire. . .
Because today could be the last, eventually they are never to be seen again and just like that in a split moment they could go Up In Smoke.
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and then Add to home screen.