我和鄰居大姐姐的故事（已完結） - 一百七十四點五

一百七十四點五

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（謝珮嘉視覺）

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頭好痛…

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我睜開雙眼，微弱既燈光由窗外面透入黎…

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漆黑既天花板…係自己間房…

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而家究竟幾點…我今日做過啲咩黎…

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唔，頭好痛…

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我都係再次合埋雙眼休息一陣…

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我嘗試回憶一下今日究竟發生左咩事…

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係喇…

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今朝一早我又扮爸爸打電話返學校請假…之後成日都留響屋企飲酒…

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哈，爸爸而家都響澳門賭緊錢架喇，仲邊會返屋企理我吖…

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由細到大都係咁，所以媽咪先會粒聲唔出，跟第二個男人走左去…

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無論我由細到大，所有既野幾認真、幾盡力去做，做得幾好都好，你連望都唔會望我…每個月頭擺啲生活費比我就算數…

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但即使係咁，我都好渴望得到爸爸既注意…所以我先會每一件事都盡自己既努力去做到最好…

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哈…

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然後，我既性格反而得到左阿邦注意…仲可以同佢拍拖…

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爸爸唔理我唔緊要，得唔到父愛都好，自從中三果年開始，我以為有左阿邦我就得到左全世界…

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阿邦…阿邦…

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點解你唔要我…你唔係話過要娶我架咩…

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你一路都對我好好架…

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點解要為左穎琳而同我分手…

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阿邦…

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你嫌我唔夠穎琳靚，我知我唔夠吸引，但我可以去學化妝架…

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可唔可以返黎我身邊…

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諗下諗下，淚水又不停咁由我雙眼流出黎…

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唔得…

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唔可以再咁樣諗落去…

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我需要…酒精…

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只有醉左，我先可以咩都唔理…咩都唔諗…

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就好似媽咪最初離開果陣，爸爸日日都係咁飲酒…

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我打開雙眼，掙扎住坐起身…身上既被滑落…

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…

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有啲唔對路…

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我身上點解一絲不掛既…？

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我隻右手掙扎住要撐自己起身，然後我掂到一樣野…好溫暖既…手臂？

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我大吃一驚，即刻低頭望去！

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係…個冇著衫既男仔，有住同佢個樣唔相乎既結實身型…

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係…熙熙？

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我輕輕力咁揭一揭開披響佢身上張被偷偷望入紅…然後塊面突然間好熱…

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熙熙同我一樣係全身乜都冇著既！？

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呀…

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好頭痛…

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我要回想一下…

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我好似…

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真係同熙熙…

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咩過黎…

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我拍一拍自己個額頭，希望令自己清醒返啲…嘗試記返起今日發生既事…

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我今朝一起身之後覺得好痛苦，本身都換好晒校服，但最後都係唔想返學、唔想再見到阿邦、唔想見到佢同穎琳形影不離咁響埋一齊…

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我唔想再響同學、老師面前再扮冇事…

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我驚自己忍唔住會大喊…

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於是我又響雪櫃拎左幾罐啤酒出黎飲，壯完膽之後又打返學校請病假…然後又繼續飲…

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我依稀記得…我一路飲酒，飲到肚餓就打電話叫外賣，之後再飲…

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只有飲酒，先可以令自己暫時忘卻心入面既傷感…

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飲飲下，啲酒已經飲晒…

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之後我記得既係，我步履跚躝咁落樓，再跌跌撞撞咁去到七仔門口買啤酒，仲好似爭啲成個跌低既時候，比個路人扶住左…

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已經冇乜印象果個人係乜野樣…之後點解會撞到熙熙既？

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好似係熙熙主動要扶我返屋企既…

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之後…我好似係叫佢陪我飲酒？

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我好似唔知講左句乜野之後佢就起勢咁拎啲酒黎飲…

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呀…

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之後…

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唔知點解我地兩個攬埋一齊濕吻，再錫到上床，然後就響床上面做埋…

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我諗到呢度面上一紅，個身開始發熱…

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我記得…

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熙熙響呢方面好似好熟手…

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我雖然醉左，但佢當時成隻野獸咁但又實在搞到我太舒服，所以我既身體、大腦好似自動記錄左呢啲印象咁…

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佢既技巧實在好過阿邦太多太多…

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我再拍一拍額頭。

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我係咪記錯左？

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熙熙先中二咋喎？

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有可能咩？

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我一定仲係醉左酒。

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但…我都熙熙又真係一絲不掛咁訓左響度…

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呀。

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係喎…熙熙先得中二…

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我究竟…同佢做左啲咩出黎…？

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我心入面湧起一陣罪惡感，秋兒交託左熙熙比我、熙熙擔心我而扶我返屋企…我竟然嗌佢一齊陪我飲酒，仲要同佢…做埋…？

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我究竟做左啲咩…

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因為阿邦同我分手…我既生活搞到一團糟…

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阿邦…阿邦…

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我望住全身赤裸、鋼條身型既熙熙，又諗起啱啱同佢做既時比佢搞到慾仙慾死…身體竟然變得越黎越熱、妹妹仲…越黎越濕…

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我竟然忍唔住…搵手去按摩妹妹…

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「啊…」我忍唔住細細聲呻吟…

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手指再慢慢插入小小…

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開始…有啲忘我…

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（待續）

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