我和鄰居大姐姐的故事（Tier 1至3已完結/無課連載中） - 三百三十二

三百三十二

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聽到我咁樣一問，阿必先係呆左一呆，然後露出左一個不懷好意既笑容。

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「唔通...呢個就係你煩惱到黑晒面既根源？」阿必賊笑地問：「你想飛甩淇淇，走去媾我既穎琳bb！」

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「你痴撚線！」叫我媾條港女，咪撚玩喇！

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「你咁大反應，仲唔係比我估中左？」阿必奸笑道：「得一仲想二，我要話比淇淇知，破壞你既奸計！」

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「你都痴撚線！」我怒道。

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「咁唔係做咩咁大反應？」阿必繼續逼問，完全唔撚驚我會發火咁：「啱啱仲黑面黑左成餐！」

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「我唔係為左你條仆街我駛咁煩！」

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「我？」阿必奇道。

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「係呀！」我帶住怒氣解釋道：「你知唔知你果個穎琳BB係肉便器黎架！就係佢搶左我地上年副社長個男朋友！我驚你比佢呃咋！驚你好似達叔咁咋！」

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好似好大義凜然咁，其實我只不過係想確定阿必唔係鍾意鄭穎琳先mark佢做長期飯票。

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不過老實講，其實鄭穎琳同肉便器呢三個字差十萬八千里。

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啱啱佢先至係第一次做愛。

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肉便器應該係要黎形容Ada呢啲女人。

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我咁樣形容鄭穎琳我以為阿必會嬲，點知佢竟然笑笑口地答我：「我知吖。」

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「下？」今次到我有小小反應唔過黎。

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「我話！」阿必突然好大聲咁叫出黎：「我一早就知穎琳BB係肉便器！！！」

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附近既乘客都轉過頭望住我地，但阿必就一啲都唔尷尬。

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不過……

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我好撚尷尬呀！

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「喂，你痴撚左線咩！」我尷尬地道：「咁撚大聲！」

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「唔大聲點顯得我真係一早知呢！」呢個係咩歪理黎架……

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而且鄭穎琳係娘娘啫，但佢其實唔係肉便器……

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咁你一早知乜撚野啫！

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阿必續道：「我咪講過囉，我真係覺得做下狗公幾好玩，所以先至狗衝同佢玩下咋嘛！」

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諗起黎，佢好似真係有講過類似既說話...

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「我一早就已經知道佢係逢男仔都會放電，又會好似比啲錯覺啲男仔，以為自己有機會媾到佢架喇！咁佢地就甘心咁幫穎琳BB做野，又或者送下禮物比佢咁。」阿必哈哈一笑：「佢夠係咁同我send短訊又傾下電話咁，但你以為我同其他狗公一樣咁智障，以為佢真係對我有意思咩？」

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「...」

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「放心喇球星。」阿必拍下我既膊頭，笑道：「我知自己做緊乜野架喎！做狗公不知幾好玩，穎琳BB比小小甜頭我仲以為真係收到我做兵，但佢次次要我幫手既時候...嗯，呢啲辛苦野我仲唔即刻搵窿捐咩！」

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我即刻諗起Christmas Ball單野，阿必屙屎屙左成粒鐘都唔黎幫手點名...

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「你條撚樣...」話雖如此，我都有小小鬆一口氣既感覺。

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可以安心食用鄭穎琳了。

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哈，我都覺得自己好賤。

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「球星，點解我覺得你有鬆左一口氣既感覺既？」阿必疑惑咁望住我。

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屌。

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你條撚樣識讀心？

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「知你唔係鍾意左條妖女梗係鬆一口氣喇。」都唔算講大話吖。

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「都啱。」

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「咪係囉。」

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「況且佢應該真係好唔鍾意你。」阿必拍下我膊頭微笑道，一副世事都給我看透了既表情。

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……

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「我先唔撚care。」我聳聳肩，再問：「不過點解你會咁講？」

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「嘿嘿嘿，佢同我傾電話send短訊既時候，一講起你佢就係咁鬧你，話你又自大又冇禮貌。」阿必奸笑道。

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屌吖，乜條死港女成日屌柒我架？

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又話鍾意我？

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「你又唔駛黑面既～」阿必又拍拍我膊頭：「佢點對你都冇乜所謂喇，你都對佢冇興趣～」

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嗯。

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阿必講啱一半喇。

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我對鄭穎琳個閪倒係有唔少興趣。

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所以我聳聳肩，不置可否。

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「佢好似對個個男仔都唔錯，係唔知點解對你咁差啫～可能你Christmas Ball果日係咁寸鳩佢喇。」阿必笑口噬噬：「所以你呢啲處男冇呼架喇，呢啲肉便器冇你份，佢其實係等緊比我屌。」

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處男？

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Kitty姐姐、Betty、Jessica、Ada、大表姐，連埋你口中既鄭穎琳，我已經扑撚左六條女。

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不過算喇，我寧願將啲秘密有咁埋收咁埋，唔想比人知。

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老實講，我覺得呢啲性史唔撚係啲咩光彩野，傳到去秋兒姐姐度我就跳樓都唔得掂。

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不過至少我從阿必對話之中確定到一樣野。

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就係我可以安心食用鄭穎琳。

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（待續）

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