我和鄰居大姐姐的故事（Tier 1至3已完結/無課連載中） - 一百七十七

一百七十七

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我幫Jessica抹完身體之後，呆左咁望住窗邊一直發呆…

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我究竟…做左啲咩？

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會唔會真係做老豆架？（okok，我開估，最尾係冇事既，可能我果次真係冇中出到Jessica而係口爆左佢啫，但呢一刻點都會有啲驚。）

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我明明應承左自己唔再亂咁搞女，但唔夠五個月就破左戒…

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但更加令我有罪惡感既係，我對啱啱果一場性交念念不忘…

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再正確啲黎講，係重新勾起左我對扑野既慾望…

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我好想再屌閪…

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就響我懷住複雜既心情繼續望住窗口發呆既時候，Jessica首先開口了。

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「Sorry…」我有冇聽錯？Jessica竟然同我道歉？

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我忍擰轉頭望向Jessica既方向，然後我地四目交投。

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我冇諗過佢會向我道歉。

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講到尾，啱啱既情況都係我地兩個自願，冇話邊個欠左邊個。

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「我…我…因為我…你先會飲酒…」Jessica低下頭：「如果我地唔係飲酒…我地就唔會…」

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「唉…」我嘆左口氣：「咁都要我地兩個都願意，先會發生關係…」

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第一次係醉酒，第二次點都至少醒左一半。

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而且酒醉三分醒。

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Jessica又抬頭望住我：「但我…唔應該對你…」又冇再講落去。

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良久。

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「你…唔係第一次？」估唔到Jessica再開口問既竟然係呢個話題。

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呃…

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點答呢？

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但就算我否認，Jessica都估到晒喇，邊有第一次就咁勇猛既青頭仔？只係希望佢唔好同秋兒姐姐講…

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諗到呢度，我唯有點點頭。

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「都估到架喇。」Jessica面紅紅地道：「你啲技術勁過…勁過…阿…阿邦…」

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講到阿邦兩個字既時候，兩行眼淚又突然由Jessica雙眼流落黎…

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…

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唉。

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我張開雙臂將Jessica攬入懷中，輕輕咁掃佢既背脊。

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但我越掃Jessica就喊得越勁。

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「嗚…我要點做…佢先會返黎…我身邊…」Jessica喊得好淒涼…

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我都唔識安慰人，唯有繼續輕掃下佢幼滑既背脊。

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但我好仆街，掃多幾下又扯旗。

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Jessica唔知係咪喊喊下feel我碌鳩扯起左頂住佢，突然響我懷中噗哧一笑，再抬起頭望住我：「鹹濕。」

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Jessica雖然滿面淚花，但係咁樣笑一笑其實都幾好睇。

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「笑返咪好囉。」我道：「妳笑起上黎其實都幾好睇吖。」

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類似既說話我好似同冰山美人Betty講過。不過Jessica雖然做事既時候會好認真，但會笑既時候都會笑，只係佢呢排成日愁眉苦臉，我先咁樣開導佢。

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「不過…唔係個個都係咁諗…」Jessica既笑容變得淒涼。

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「佢咁對妳，妳唔好再掛住佢喇。」我開解Jessica：「試下忘記佢喇。」

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我果陣又點會知道，原來要忘記一個深愛既人，係一件幾咁難既事呢？

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「我有試過…」Jessica淒然道：「所以我先至係咁飲酒…只有醉左，先至冇咁痛苦…先會忘記佢…」然後突然面紅紅咁望住我：「仲有…啱啱都係…」

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仆街我已經扯扯地，聽到Jessica咁講，我又開始淨係用下體諗野…

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「嘉嘉…」

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雙唇再一次疊埋一齊。

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今次Jessica又好我又好，都唔會為我地啱啱呢一次性愛再搵到任何藉口。

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做完之後Jessica訓響床度依偎住我。

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「你既第一次，係咪同淇淇？」Jessica試探性地問。

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「點解咁問？」

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「佢其實係咪你女朋友？」Jessica又問：「你地只係收埋呢段關係？玩地下情？」

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「唔係。點解你地個個都咁覺得？」

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「因為…你地之前好似成日都一齊咁…」

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「仲有其他同學架。」阿必、八婆儀、鄭海欣…

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「但就算係響一班人入面，你地好似都係靠得最近。」

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「都話唔係咯。」

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「咁你既第一次…」

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「…」

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「…」

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「…」

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「其實…我地係咪唔應該咁做？我地而家咁樣…係咪做錯左？」Jessica冇再追問我，只係撟住我雙手，好似想搵返啲安全感。

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錯？

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唔知道呢？

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果陣同Betty都有討論過呢樣野，甚至將呢樣野正當化…

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但…順應自己身體，究竟啱唔啱？

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如果啱既，咁點解我對住秋兒姐姐既時候會湧現無窮既罪惡感同內疚感？

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秋兒姐姐…

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…

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大鑊！

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而家幾點！？

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（待續）

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