我和鄰居大姐姐的故事（Tier 1至3已完結/無課連載中） - 四百七十三

四百七十三

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……

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秋兒姐姐當時咁委屈，我果陣究竟做緊咩…？

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遙遙繼續講埋之後小小：「林秋兒對住我歉意一笑：『對唔住，本身諗住幫妳手解決妳既感情問題，點知變左要妳聽我講心事。』

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「我搖搖頭：『唔會啊。比起妳既心事，我果啲所謂既感情問題真係好幼稚。』

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「你家姐搖搖頭講：『我就覺得感情事冇分幼唔幼稚既，所以妳有咩問題隨時搵我傾訴都得架。』

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「『嗯。』

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「林秋兒好似有小小懷釋咁，向我微笑：『其實我真係要多謝妳肯咁耐心聽我講。呢件心事我屈埋左響個心好耐，今日係我第一次同人講。如果唔係，我真係會屈住響個心入面唔知幾耐，屈到可能人都會病啊。』

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「『唔係啊…我多謝妳先啱。我就好似上左人生入面一堂寶貴既課咁。』事實上我都係咁諗架……聽到人地既分享，就好似拓闊左自己既眼界咁。」

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……

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我個心聽到乸住乸住，面色都相信變得有啲差。

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「我明知故問左一句，順便幫你探下口風，問：『咁妳鍾意果個男仔……而家點啊？』

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「林秋兒苦笑左一下：『佢啊…而家同左果個女仔一齊喇。』

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「『幾時既事？點解妳知道左真相之後唔即刻同佢講？』果一刻我唔知點解都著急埋一份。

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「林秋兒搖搖頭：『個女仔照顧左佢兩三個星期之後佢地已經一齊左……係個女仔親口同我講。既然佢地已經一齊左，我又何苦要介入佢地之間既關係？』

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「我話：『但係……妳都應該要為自己爭取下！而且可能個男仔只係因為誤會所以先同個女仔響埋一齊架呢？』

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「林秋兒搖搖頭：『唔知呢。但係我離遠見到佢同個女仔一齊既時候表現得好開心，而且原來之前佢同穎琳拍過拖……可能……可能……一定係一路以黎都只係我自己誤會左，以為佢都係鍾意我…對我有意思…』

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「我問：『咁即係妳主動避開佢？點解啊！可能佢見到妳會改變諗法，同妳響埋一齊呢？』

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「林秋兒再搖搖頭：『我唔避開佢既話我驚我忍唔住響佢面前喊啊……就算離遠見到佢同另一個女仔一齊我已經好辛苦……而且，係我叫個女仔去照顧個男仔，果陣我已經預計到有呢個可能性，我唔可以因為見到佢地響埋一齊而做第三者架。』

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「然後林秋兒又露出苦澀既笑容：『其實…而家咁樣都唔錯吖…我同佢而家都慢慢正常返。就算唔同佢一齊，只要見到佢開心，咁我都開心架喇。』」

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……

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我而家邊一忽係開心……？

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而且……

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我完全唔知道秋兒姐姐果陣經歷過咁多唔開心既事，更加唔知道原來當時我令到佢咁傷心……

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雖然之前都有試過後悔冇諗清楚就同左淇淇一齊，但聽完遙遙轉述完秋兒姐姐既說話之後，悔疚既感覺由心入面一湧而出……

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如果……

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我係話如果……

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我冇一時衝動同左淇淇一齊，而家既故事又會唔會改變？

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……

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「秋兒姐姐果陣個樣係……好唔開心？」我問。

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佢雖然把口話我開心佢就會開心，但呢個係咪佢既真心話呢？

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遙遙白左我一眼：「你話呢？」

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「嗯。」換轉係我既話完全冇可能開心得起黎。

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所以秋兒姐姐把口話會替我開心，根本只係自欺欺人。

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「我同佢講：『妳一定好難受。』

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「林秋兒無奈咁笑左一笑：『唔...咁咪當係一個機會等我寄情讀書囉。』

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「『妳讀得入腦？』我問。

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「『好彩有個好朋友陪住我...佢以前失戀既時候我都有開解佢，所以雖然今次我冇同佢講過我發生咩事，但佢見我唔開心都肯陪住我，甚至乎比我上佢屋企一齊溫習。』余正熙，你知唔知係邊個朋友？」遙遙問。

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...

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我諗起豬肉佬果陣同我講既說話，話秋兒姐姐同個女同學一齊去買餸...

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一定唔係Kitty姐...

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唔通...

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係Jessica？

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「嗯。」我諗我估到既。

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「你家姐好彩有佢呢個好朋友陪同埋寄情溫書，如果唔係呢段時間佢真係好難捱。」遙遙又加一句。

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我點點頭，一股懊悔既感覺不斷由內心深處湧出黎，揮之不去，覺得自己應該要為一切既事情負責。

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就算我係比Jonathan刻意誤導都好，如果我對秋兒姐姐有足夠信心、如果我性格唔係咁衝動、如果我處事可以成熟啲...

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但最令我覺得後悔既，係我覺得係我影響左秋兒姐姐讀書既心情，隨時令佢再次重蹈會考時既覆轍……

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唔得，我要做啲野。

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我希望可以改寫故事既結局。

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唔係。

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唔止希望咁簡單。

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就算係到左而家，個故事一樣可以改變！

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