886Please respect copyright.PENANAHjWgXmIlvt
886Please respect copyright.PENANAsNB3A6gl2T
其實我不是沒有喜歡過阿樂。886Please respect copyright.PENANAdj5Gic81wC
886Please respect copyright.PENANAOeXGZ9h0I3
只是,這種喜歡對我來說,是不夠的。886Please respect copyright.PENANAFYV3OxtN1D
886Please respect copyright.PENANAQLgGbVPNKD
剛剛認識阿樂的時候,我就覺得他很搞笑,不是娛樂的那種,而是因為他總是不說話,和整體的Ocamp氣氛很不夾。別人的熱情和他的靜默形成強烈對比,甚至他每次說話時都感覺很放不開,有點緊張。886Please respect copyright.PENANAfHfS2BLWRY
886Please respect copyright.PENANA9MFRdlgg16
這一點,令我覺得他比別人可靠,和別的滿嘴跑火車的人,不一樣。886Please respect copyright.PENANAOQHkAXxKFe
886Please respect copyright.PENANAP9ZdumyL95
我認識了他,我和他相熟。886Please respect copyright.PENANAJN6QaL2Cj2
886Please respect copyright.PENANADkp6iJHKug
阿樂不只是林子樂了,他還是「樂仔」。886Please respect copyright.PENANADJDpvtyTPo
886Please respect copyright.PENANApJeHA5xEur
我們是同一屆的新生,有好多事都是一起學的,譬如Reg科。我登入不到系統的時候,就找他求救,他幫助登入,不斷重刷那該死的網頁。886Please respect copyright.PENANAQwnxkT7yiX
886Please respect copyright.PENANAglgERfosmn
我們一起在晚上行過新亞書院的情人路,正正因為很黑,所以要有人陪才能行。他成了我一段路的情人,我捉過他的手臂,然而這一種肢體碰觸可能太過輕巧了,多走一會兒,就已經到達了本部。886Please respect copyright.PENANAw6GJpkr97F
886Please respect copyright.PENANAM08lenHdDQ
我喜歡過阿樂,但其實,我也不知那是不是喜歡。886Please respect copyright.PENANA0PsJosPGLX
886Please respect copyright.PENANAoX2WMk8Nl4
他陪在我身邊,和我日夜傾談的日子,我有心動。對,我發現我有心動,會很想等到他的WhatsApp,或者很期待和他連線睇戲。可是這一種感覺,卻沒有很強烈,就是很淡,很柔和的思念,僅此而已。886Please respect copyright.PENANABbz76pDlJp
886Please respect copyright.PENANAf0LFMX7SHv
然後戀愛,尤其是年輕人的戀愛,這樣的平淡對我來說是不夠的。每次對上阿樂的眼睛,我都懷疑自己的感情;喜歡他,和我以前喜歡別人時的感覺,差太遠了,以前真的是心跳很快很急,可是面對阿樂,卻沒有那樣的顛簸。886Please respect copyright.PENANAJ0tIj4AraD
886Please respect copyright.PENANA9BPPQwZlMF
那一段時間,我淡然地喜歡着阿樂。我的表現如常,只是和他更頻繁地聊天。886Please respect copyright.PENANAAOagi7DvRT
886Please respect copyright.PENANAforjsehtn6
慢慢,我越來越依賴他。886Please respect copyright.PENANArRJ8TQcYAe
886Please respect copyright.PENANAMpKsxWTKw5
但是,我卻不想和他在一起,因為我覺得自己應該要和「更好」的人在一起,譬如,那個人可以給我更刺激的戀愛感覺。886Please respect copyright.PENANAutmITfuylA
886Please respect copyright.PENANA1J7eCorfLJ
我感受到,阿樂也喜歡我,而且,和我的喜歡有一些差別,他真的對我很好,很照顧我,未必真的想在我身上索取什麼。886Please respect copyright.PENANAUHM2gNySiE
886Please respect copyright.PENANA0GJ8yQT8eW
我對他的友誼變質了,再沒有當初純粹。我貪戀他的善待,即使我受着良心的譴責——她說我不應和他曖昧。可是,其實我也迷惑的。886Please respect copyright.PENANAXlIzivZdqk
886Please respect copyright.PENANAsdJQFb5WsV
一方面,我喜歡他,也喜歡和他浪費時間;另一方面,我卻覺得將來會遇見更好。只是在這一段時間裏,他是最好的,所以,我也願意奉獻這一顆不夠純粹的真心,和他做朋友。886Please respect copyright.PENANAftvv3jB2wK
886Please respect copyright.PENANAzl04mjWc4d
後來,我戀愛了。果然,戀愛是很幸福的感覺,很濃烈,很快樂,那一條情人路,我也和男友走過。886Please respect copyright.PENANAINZLtHGOU5
這一段時間,我也和阿樂保持舊有的關係,他總和我說,我的男友是個MK仔,總和我吵架,不懂得珍惜我。我笑笑,總回答他,可是有你對我好啊。886Please respect copyright.PENANAJCNlBvij8o
886Please respect copyright.PENANAH6UWmTyx7d
我對阿樂的依賴沒有隨時間消失,在男友的映襯下,我更覺得阿樂對我好。可是,那一種看一眼就鍾意的感覺,不是阿樂可以給我的。886Please respect copyright.PENANANcCWueEZpH
886Please respect copyright.PENANACixKQycD7p
我和阿樂,可能是不夠來電吧,電流太弱了。886Please respect copyright.PENANAPWyT06TJav
886Please respect copyright.PENANABiPM7gnj7T
後來,我分手,阿樂和我表白,我拒絕了。886Please respect copyright.PENANAb9C7FChG0L
886Please respect copyright.PENANAjWZIzs5bq0
沒有什麼難過的原因,只是難堪而已。我對他的喜歡,不足以捆着我,因為我知道,我永遠不可能像他喜歡我一樣地喜歡他。886Please respect copyright.PENANAKttakWm94E
886Please respect copyright.PENANAHAXbAUeQbz
講到尾,其實就是我不夠喜歡他。886Please respect copyright.PENANAhqpb9LsEZ7
886Please respect copyright.PENANASXNhDON7E2
我們恢復聯絡,一切如舊。886Please respect copyright.PENANAUw3XYY2H4F
886Please respect copyright.PENANAIGlIPUgpdx
我見有女孩子在他家住,第一下感覺挺不舒服的,但第二下、第三下,又覺得與我何干?我有些嫉妒別人也可得到他的款待,但這一個「唯一」我卻不太想要。886Please respect copyright.PENANAcccgMSAUem
886Please respect copyright.PENANALzq6TesOcD
大概是因為,我有心理負擔吧。886Please respect copyright.PENANAVmdEJMJLu9
886Please respect copyright.PENANAQjp1TELeC3
雖然你未必相信,但我是真心與阿樂做朋友的。這一種矛盾的友達以上也令我很混亂。他對我的喜歡其實也很明顯了,尤其是他抱我、愕然地看我時,我知道他受傷了,深深受傷。886Please respect copyright.PENANAA2jcvLcsxC
886Please respect copyright.PENANAuG8Wak05pl
他因我的迷糊和貪婪受傷,可是講真,這於我不是超級超級重要——我更因而知道自己並不可能再進一步喜歡他。886Please respect copyright.PENANAqx2HcFm1Uh
886Please respect copyright.PENANAEN0xbcGpjh
我只得來自友情的心理負擔。886Please respect copyright.PENANAr4A3WyPL8w
886Please respect copyright.PENANAQtt9m7w7vl
我一直都覺得有些虧欠他,可是這一路走來,我都說服自己一切都是你情我願的;然而,確實因為我的存在,而令他有幻想和希望,因而,失望受傷。886Please respect copyright.PENANABIMrwownE7
886Please respect copyright.PENANAGfzpAxrctn
唉,感情好難。886Please respect copyright.PENANAWgE61mcHwK
886Please respect copyright.PENANAIauD0XQDUC
但是,就在這段期間,我遇上了阿賢,我喜歡他,真的。886Please respect copyright.PENANArHzP65Zi0C
886Please respect copyright.PENANABipHCgRNum
我確實這一種心跳感覺,一如當初與舊男友時的心跳選擇。886Please respect copyright.PENANA5uz1PaNAED
886Please respect copyright.PENANAbeH8EqVord
這不是阿樂可以給我的,總是差了一些,或者差了很多。其實我也分不清。886Please respect copyright.PENANA1G8H4fA6ui
886Please respect copyright.PENANA61eV4W2Gcm
我和阿賢在一起。886Please respect copyright.PENANAiGe3EDkWJg
886Please respect copyright.PENANAfn1DPbPiEK
我不想再與阿樂像以前那樣聯絡了。因為,我感覺到我們都變了,我認清自己對阿樂的感覺,他也不再像以前那樣,接受卑微的後備位置。我們的心態都失衡了,一切都會很奇怪,定位模糊,只得不甘的尷尬。886Please respect copyright.PENANAn69H7psbNu
886Please respect copyright.PENANAdQNAZN6aQt
我對他的依賴,也仿佛在這種拉鋸之中消散,突然覺得這一種關係是沒用的,對大家都沒有好處。變成,我更樂意依賴男友,還更有正當性呢。886Please respect copyright.PENANAKL2aM4YUP7
886Please respect copyright.PENANA7816XQJnvA
阿樂看似接受了一切,可是我知道,他沒有,至少沒能那麼快。可是,都沒有辦法了。886Please respect copyright.PENANAfMuAW8nPRv
886Please respect copyright.PENANAs5mA5zZstx
變質的友情,在真心和不夠純粹之間,都很難有平衡點。如果我真的喜歡他就好了,但我真的無能為力,其實我也痛苦,但也許沒資格說吧,所以,唯有希望他快樂,希望我們都能快樂。886Please respect copyright.PENANAj5v8wlnWcl
886Please respect copyright.PENANAMRGPb9uDzW
阿樂應該找一個很喜歡他的人,然後相愛。886Please respect copyright.PENANAilzng2Pvav
886Please respect copyright.PENANA8kcjkjW5sj
只是,這個人,無法是我。我不夠鍾意他,對不起。