又到澄叔深宵單身節目《如若我是……》，今集都係照舊，大家投稿，由我去寫。事不而遲，去文。275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuDMmyRyFOa
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今晚打響頭炮嘅又係……又係故事台著名文字編輯-Hi HI投稿嘅你老母。（睇嚟佢想做澄母喎，我嗌佢阿媽先）275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTPFjbZxErn
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假如我是澄母，我會叫我個仔拿拿淋去……寫文，再唔寫文，就冇人睇澄澄故事台㗎喇！再唔寫文，故事台就冇人記得㗎喇！咁我個仔就會摺埋，咁就溝唔到女㗎喇！除咗叫嗰個冇Q用阿仔去寫文之外，當然要幫佢招下女朋友先啦！我阿仔一個優點都冇，有時冇優點都係優點嚟㗎！我個仔現正公開招股，分別係左邊同右邊，有興趣投資嘅，歡迎dm：chingchingstory，有專人同你洽商。275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KRmmV78Kd
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做完自己老母，sell埋自己嗰兩股，之後梗係要俾啲福利自己啦！接著就係讀者CLS ling叫我寫嘅揸波攬腰死人頭。275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIGOk8GVAe
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等我變身先，變個靚仔，落老蘭先，唔係點做揸波攬腰死人頭。275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8leGDi2uov
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Yo！我係澄佬！Nice to meet you！275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqfwPuLKd8
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我哋不如試下玩條IQ題，木做嘅門叫木門，鐵做嘅門叫鐵門，咁最幸福嘅門叫咩門？275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIziIl0pxS
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答：「我們？」275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XxChDGJqf
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唔係！係逃生門！「逃生出口的一扇光。」275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjGSFObHwh
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答：「抵你冇女！你唔好做揸波攬腰死人頭啦！咁樣溝女都有嘅。」275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYGhcEgm7q
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喂！返嚟吖！唔好走吖！係我們吖！我諗住搞個gag咋！275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoB9Xkb8Dfx
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睇完澄佬溝唔到女，係咪好sad呢！唔緊要，我哋一齊為佢默哀一秒鐘啦！好！完。275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREtGfCGCvq
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1至10入面，邊個數目字最鳩呢？就係9喇！呢個問題係咪好戇鳩呢？冇錯，我就係戇鳩仔喇！而家為你呈獻嘅就係由戇鳩讀者Levis所投稿嘅戇鳩仔喇！275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohAj43HEXi
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戇鳩仔係我，戇鳩就係我喇！戇鳩、戇鳩Yeah！我份人咁正常，好難諗啲戇鳩嘢喎！不過唔緊要！身為一個過氣嘅垃圾作者，梗係得啦！275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy5XHHC4zqq
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我哋不如講下戇鳩仔嘅定義先啦！戇鳩仔嘅意思就係戇鳩嘅仔，咁戇鳩係咩？就係戇鳩喇！咁點為之戇鳩呢？就係戇鳩。就係咁，咁就係戇鳩喇！275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSiRW88rkc
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戇鳩仔做完，咁做人梗係要長遠啲諗，學局長話齋，60歲先係中年，我哋就一於幻想下，人到中年嘅時候係點啦！我哋就用賴賴屎（A.K.A.抖M皇）投稿 - 一個60後名叫澄叔嘅阿伯作為今集嘅收尾啦！275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpOgaTERzTG
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你哋啲後生仔真係唔識嘢嘅，阿伯我吖！食鹽多個你食米啦！嗱！唔好話我係廢老住先！我好有貢獻㗎！我就好支持屯門公園黃色經濟圈嘅，人哋啲阿叔俾Nana嘅利是就係真錢嚟，而我俾嗰啲，都係利是，但入面係一段由後生仔所寫嘅：「光復屯門公園，還我寧靜家園」。屯門公園黃色經濟圈，我梗係好支持㗎啦！275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDYKTMnjgb
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局長話齋，而家踏入中年。換言之，我仲有60年命，梗係安享晚年啦！可惜，60歲嘅我，都係一個溝唔到女嘅可憐蟲。見大家仲聽呢個阿叔講嘢，送首靚歌俾大家。陳柏宇嘅《別來無恙》275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GW3DDtzvJ
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「我現時自己肯做飯，悶極時自己可浪漫。」275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRuR9jU26L
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上個禮拜真係好唔好意思，由於上個禮拜日晚，我趕緊青年文學獎，所以就抽唔到時間去寫呢篇文。咁今集就去到呢度先，未到你嘅投稿唔緊要住，仲有兩集，一定有大家投稿嘅內容。我哋下個禮拜一23：00再見啦！275Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYIBEJfNrR
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