Waking from endless dream

Gasping and panting 

A heart that just ran a marathon

 But no sound to be heard

Any touch that is be felt

Can’t be felt 

Even the slightest touch

Could feel as if a void was there to replace

What should have been vibrant

Was in grayscale 

The feeling of nothing as the void

Radiated all around

The warmth of flowing blood

Chilled slowly to the bone

As the rich, vibrant red turned

The blue violet of the thorny rose

Is this my life 

Or is this my dream

By each passing minute

I can’t help but to fall into the endless loop

I want to change  it

Stop the repeat of emotion

And start living vibrantly

With a true smile

Not the mask that I use

In hopes that the mask 

Allows the feelings, hopes, dreams, and colors to return

But I fear that all is lost

I scream

Cry bloody murder

And not a single sound emerges

Has my voice given up 

I fear looking into the tunnel of the unknown

Whilst looking back down the tunnel of memories

I fear the future holds a similar fate

No crystal ball can predict

Nor understand what skeletons are lurking

Do I fear help? 

Do I fear being seen as an innocent child

Whose lost and wondering aimlessly 

I fear who I’ll become if I show what is hidden

No lock and key can hold

Without the numbness breaking through

Why do I fear my beings?

I am simply a caged blue bird

Trying and trying to escape

From the metal contraption that I am in

Losing hope that all I cherish will vanish once again.