Ms. International Beauty Researcher:
Ladies and gentlemen (yes gentlemen), I would like to introduce a new way to use bananas. But before I start my wonderful guide, I would like to introduce to you the complicated concept of a banana. *cough cough. First, let me tell you what a banana looks like. Most bananas we eat today are yellow on the outside, some may be green. They are called banana peels. On the inside, the colour is cream-ish white, which could become mushy if you leave it without eating too long or if you chew it properly in your mouth. It is shaped like a new moon, most as thick as a child's wrist, and as long as a tooth paste box. But I will tell you a more reliable source to understand the appearance of a banana: the internet. Banana has a very banana like taste and the texture is....mushy. Now, if you really want to know what a banana is, go buy it. It's worth it. I will prove it to you right now.
Unfortunately, today, I will only talk about the benefit of a banana for your outer beauty. I bet you that you have not heard about the benefit of a banana for your outer beauty. Not even online. Today, I will not only talk about how banana is good for that purpose, but also how you can achieve the goal of being attractive. Obviously, a banana will provide the energy you need to be full, which means that you will be less likely to be grumpy and will always flash people a beautiful smile. That, in itself, is great already. But dear audiences, I don't think you will be interested in hearing all my scientific explanations about how banana is good. I think you would rather listen to HOW exactly you can do it. Now I will list the different procedures.
1. Peel the peel, eat the wonderful banana using your teeth and your mouth. ( It helps you with your mouth muscles and your digestive system)
2. Wash your hands thoroughly first. This is a very important step. Peel the peel, slice them into pieces using a knife and use your fingers to eat the pieces. Use your mouth to eat the pieces. Don't wash your hands afterwards. (Why use your bare hands? Good question. There will be banana subdues that are non sticky and soothing for your fingers. It will provided protection from dryness and will give your skin the nutrition it needs.) For better results, rub your hands together after eating.
3. Peel off the peel (don't throw it away), put the rest of the banana into a blender. Add other edible ingredients for personal variations and likings. For example: milk, other fruits, food colouring. After blending, take out half of the mixture into a drinking cup and leave the rest half in the blender (for #4). Drink all from the drinking cup. It will sooth your throat and will help the digestive system.
4. Remember the half of the mixture in the blender and the leftover banana peel from the last method? Now, mix the banana peel into the blender to add more thickness and texture. Now, look into the mirror, if your skin looks oily, add some more lemon juice, if your skin looks dry, add some more uncooked eggs without their shells. Mix it. Blend it. Take it out of the blender and apply a thick layer of it onto your skin - including your face and hands and arms and legs. Leave it there for 10 min. Wipe it off using a soft towel and water. No soap.
5. Mix banana cream made in method #3 with shampoo. This method is self explanatory.
6. What is an object unpeeled that can help with massage and will have a firm but smooth texture? Bananas. Oh yeah so relaxing.
7. Sleep with slices of bananas on your eyes.
8. Use bananas' insides as lip balms.
9. Seriously?! You still want me to list all the methods?! There are thousands and millions of them, okay?
*cough cough and looks at watch. Sorry for that last method. Time flies so fast. It is already time for me to leave. I have another presentation to attend at the University of Fake-advises. I am thankful to be here and share my experiences. Before I leave, is there anybody who would want to buy bananas? 7 dollars only for one! Go ahead and raise your hands....
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A/N: There's something hidden beneath this "speech" about whether I like bananas or not. It is up to you to decide. MWAHAHAHAHAHA.... ;)
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