某天,我坐在家中的廁所,一邊溫習網上考試範圍的《岳陽樓記》,一邊拉屎。
397Please respect copyright.PENANAn8i82rXJM1
397Please respect copyright.PENANAsUNyYOuczm
397Please respect copyright.PENANAymSOMcfS7H
拉屎的我深深地受到了感動,多麼偉大的人啊,即使被貶官還是一樣憂國憂民!為何現代就沒有這種情操高尚的官員呢!
397Please respect copyright.PENANAVk9O84rBRk
397Please respect copyright.PENANAJzW2pgaFdU
397Please respect copyright.PENANAzKzt7Mg9B1
正當我熱淚盈眶之時,「噗———」我出產了一坨大便。
397Please respect copyright.PENANAbjgYNYXzFd
397Please respect copyright.PENANAQd0zuuxQxy
397Please respect copyright.PENANAhPdr2e3wjF
在大便落水之時,一個奇怪的人在我眼前出現了。
397Please respect copyright.PENANANM86RNC8FD
397Please respect copyright.PENANAZxWUcLPJjR
397Please respect copyright.PENANAEMXJTwao7b
事情發生得太快了,我連他甚麼時候出現、如何出現都看不清,總之,他就是莫名其妙地站在我面前了。
397Please respect copyright.PENANAeqoJNgR51o
397Please respect copyright.PENANAUvDiD3RiL8
397Please respect copyright.PENANAsgtmPnz18h
「來者何人!」面前的人大聲地問,我呆了一陣,還沒來得及反應。
397Please respect copyright.PENANApM9DptIhkn
397Please respect copyright.PENANAflo6ED6mSB
397Please respect copyright.PENANAfuhxBqBtQM
「……」該問的人是我吧…?
397Please respect copyright.PENANAx6WiIYv3kQ
397Please respect copyright.PENANADTrBzDDgLP
397Please respect copyright.PENANAEgxvXwtXL6
眼前是個留鬚的大叔,穿着古裝,頭戴烏紗帽,站在我面前。
397Please respect copyright.PENANAjEJKWy8koV
397Please respect copyright.PENANAyrmKjsJEFE
397Please respect copyright.PENANAGi9BrrrGAu
別看著我好嗎?壓力有點大呢…我還沒穿褲子欵…
397Please respect copyright.PENANAxAX00pvqwu
397Please respect copyright.PENANAtFP2AJUUbc
397Please respect copyright.PENANADa74Dmeauu
「哈囉?係咪阿媽嘅客人?點解會喺喥嘅?哈哈哈哈…」冷靜,我必須保持冷靜…
397Please respect copyright.PENANAnFCMDyUh0f
397Please respect copyright.PENANAeP1zaS6Krp
397Please respect copyright.PENANAsXiqCgfSjT
「來者何人!」他更兇狠地問。
397Please respect copyright.PENANAyPX6ejnX3J
397Please respect copyright.PENANA9wO43bbYGb
397Please respect copyright.PENANAVSR7rCxuwh
「啪!」一聲我感到腦中一條名為理智的線斷掉了。
397Please respect copyright.PENANAXt4HaVheWi
397Please respect copyright.PENANAShZ1PLsC3W
397Please respect copyright.PENANArAkejil6lh
「惡咩呀惡!而家邊個先係來者呀?!你有病呀?!睇唔到我痾緊屎咩?!」我沒法保持冷靜。
397Please respect copyright.PENANAZ2pMIMfsFd
397Please respect copyright.PENANAnPOw4YLUgp
397Please respect copyright.PENANAISjmno1ZZO
那人看了看四周,見我也一臉茫然和驚訝,才恍然大悟:「得罪了,吾乃范仲淹,字希文,唔知道點解會突然間嚟咗呢喥。」
397Please respect copyright.PENANAhW7E6RjJ12
397Please respect copyright.PENANAWjfrQ841Th
397Please respect copyright.PENANAIiLmPrvvkJ
范仲淹?有點熟耳…我看了看手中的《岳陽樓記》,又看看筆記上的肖像畫,這不是作者本人嗎?他是穿越了嗎?
397Please respect copyright.PENANA9KwhRQpPQX
397Please respect copyright.PENANA03eLXliopS
397Please respect copyright.PENANAQCFEg07wbB
小說看太多了,我沒有想像中驚訝。
397Please respect copyright.PENANAnRdNm21DlP
397Please respect copyright.PENANAItypNm9NnI
397Please respect copyright.PENANAtfZL9AHYYm
「果然,你都唔自己知道點解會嚟咗呢喥…」我沉思了一會:「咦?唔係喎,你究竟知定唔知?」
397Please respect copyright.PENANAqmJ48oDvke
397Please respect copyright.PENANAOIjNRE6dw9
397Please respect copyright.PENANA62ioF95SQb
「唔知。」
397Please respect copyright.PENANAGz4UaLGtpt
397Please respect copyright.PENANAp3MtwewBCC
397Please respect copyright.PENANAXtEW7g7OEF
「你知?」
397Please respect copyright.PENANAIcXg7QmMez
397Please respect copyright.PENANAIIfD3r9zl7
397Please respect copyright.PENANA635wZLqdxq
「唔知。」
397Please respect copyright.PENANAuiz66y1zMS
397Please respect copyright.PENANAVQaBDsuhKP
397Please respect copyright.PENANA2ngJfGMdo9
「……」吾知定唔知呀…
397Please respect copyright.PENANAMHF8MdDpOU
397Please respect copyright.PENANAWj9HUDeYqg
397Please respect copyright.PENANAiFhCg9BS1H
「吾方才行行吓突然間聽到一把聲,好似喺喥呼喚吾,跟著吾就唔知點解嚟咗呢喥啦。」
397Please respect copyright.PENANAm0pDr1zTtk
397Please respect copyright.PENANA7o4p6wAXEd
397Please respect copyright.PENANAf74o7Yu3x9
方便的話希望你改一下你的第一人稱…
397Please respect copyright.PENANAUvuN07T2In
397Please respect copyright.PENANA4NkXii1VNG
397Please respect copyright.PENANA5M851yOgK2
…………………………
397Please respect copyright.PENANAGCPXpf7CtD
397Please respect copyright.PENANASzpSTsKOe7
397Please respect copyright.PENANAo3JAcfqlmo
就是這樣,范仲淹住進了我的家,然後每天望著電視:「嘖嘖嘖,呢個君主真係唔要得,都唔為百姓設想嘅!嚟!畀文房四寶我!等我寫封信去port爆佢!」
397Please respect copyright.PENANAKC1gvR1nMd
397Please respect copyright.PENANAOchRbQYzPN
397Please respect copyright.PENANAuWjsXnhw2C
「port咩啫,冇用㗎。仲有,都話唔係君主係特首咯。」
397Please respect copyright.PENANAahDLmUsVRs
397Please respect copyright.PENANAgBc2ntsxst
397Please respect copyright.PENANAJxhTk2WwCA
「嗯,吾明白,叫唔慣啫。」
397Please respect copyright.PENANAnS7LqcrCIV
397Please respect copyright.PENANA3yqEMvCMe9
397Please respect copyright.PENANAKJrj7UopNK
「你明定唔明呀…(‾◡◝)」
397Please respect copyright.PENANAo8rbxlK2ol
397Please respect copyright.PENANAC5EP89aXP1
397Please respect copyright.PENANAlHP7Q6Z4f2
「吾明。」
397Please respect copyright.PENANA4hmOQaoyUK
397Please respect copyright.PENANARNLQ9QcaEY
397Please respect copyright.PENANAAufzojID2B
「……」
397Please respect copyright.PENANA9wILEBM9Kd
397Please respect copyright.PENANAaTSEPIhlWp
397Please respect copyright.PENANAJ3YmEHskA0
……………………
397Please respect copyright.PENANA3m5okF9TN1
397Please respect copyright.PENANAYlmnkzExeb
397Please respect copyright.PENANA5OwLghSO0l
今天的香港也很平靜,我如常地躺在家中拯救地球。
397Please respect copyright.PENANAKOR4b8KQGR
397Please respect copyright.PENANAD3KOI4OH1v
397Please respect copyright.PENANAa1cDhtulxx
可能經歷過太多事,對於那些亂七八糟的政策,我早已練成一笑了之。
397Please respect copyright.PENANA1xf5uPByeF
397Please respect copyright.PENANAgyODiUcH3D
397Please respect copyright.PENANAXGOeXvaW6H
范仲淹寄到禮賓府的文言文信件在意料之內,沒有得到回覆。
397Please respect copyright.PENANAKNTymO0EfK
397Please respect copyright.PENANAepPsG177fr
397Please respect copyright.PENANAsHF3NPkxwi
我看著躺在沙發上和我一起四肢癱瘓當植物人的范仲淹,突發奇想:「希文啊,不如你去做官好唔好?或者區議員都好,香港而家好需要你呢啲咁好嘅官…」
397Please respect copyright.PENANAXtv3Dp46g8
397Please respect copyright.PENANAFtkcoN7sAr
397Please respect copyright.PENANAcVYkrR1nFs
范仲淹想了一會,惋惜地嘆了一口氣:「少年啊…其實吾…已經搵到返去宋朝嘅方法啦…吾離開咗嘅呢段時間,唔知道吾國嘅子民安康否?一定要盡快返去先得…」
397Please respect copyright.PENANArxKOx6WymW
397Please respect copyright.PENANAMxL2GGERJx
397Please respect copyright.PENANAVdAhuhHupF
「吓…你要返去啦?」
397Please respect copyright.PENANAteWOh3rzVs
397Please respect copyright.PENANAo05jFvy2PL
397Please respect copyright.PENANA1k1Wfzqgyq
「嗯。」
397Please respect copyright.PENANArvxtNHZkA1
397Please respect copyright.PENANAGTsfSwGs8z
397Please respect copyright.PENANAOaohiCTdrP
「我仲以為…召喚咗你過嚟…你會幫到我哋㖭…」他的回答不免讓我有點失落,我還以為他會留下呢。
397Please respect copyright.PENANAIyO77hXy2p
397Please respect copyright.PENANAB222T4do3b
397Please respect copyright.PENANAJN1qodiYyB
「對唔住…吾大概今晚就會離開,雖然吾冇辦法幫你哋,但係你哋都要努力,唔好畀昏君繼續得逞。」
397Please respect copyright.PENANAdGIq4QarVZ
397Please respect copyright.PENANAjJIQU7d8Bv
397Please respect copyright.PENANAGHBZbEIuEq
「但係…你返到去會畀人貶官㗎喎…?」
397Please respect copyright.PENANA8kXcaBw8m0
397Please respect copyright.PENANAIOjL7C9zB4
397Please respect copyright.PENANAoylv6N5bds
「作為臣子,吾只係希望天下人民過得幸福。無論吾嘅結局係點,吾都會返去,盡吾最大嘅努力照顧百姓。」
397Please respect copyright.PENANAbgrqBsMSRf
397Please respect copyright.PENANAOwAOv1wkTA
397Please respect copyright.PENANA3vds82JYtN
對呢…他的百姓不在這裡,我們的生死與他何干?
397Please respect copyright.PENANATc1wv3sTuf
397Please respect copyright.PENANAN5Ft9AlLbY
397Please respect copyright.PENANAzouM3kz0Bk
…………………
397Please respect copyright.PENANAa7DgrizLTw
397Please respect copyright.PENANAADlde89hy4
397Please respect copyright.PENANAXKxfx9Uw5M
范仲淹離開了,回到了過去,我的家安靜了不少。
397Please respect copyright.PENANAtsr3ZNXY90
397Please respect copyright.PENANAiblBB2O2ay
397Please respect copyright.PENANAoJHnEyHOTh
他做到了呢,他成為了自己所仰慕的「*古仁人」(*參見《岳陽樓記》)。
397Please respect copyright.PENANAdFg4EWaU8h
397Please respect copyright.PENANAslX4ld82aF
397Please respect copyright.PENANApRRgymuNXs
果然,奢求古人的協助,不如努力自救吧。
397Please respect copyright.PENANA45kqmXEoWM
397Please respect copyright.PENANAOcBfb2xSv7
397Please respect copyright.PENANA9EfTzggkBi
亂世之下,誰有心思考慮別人?只有自己才能救自己呢。
397Please respect copyright.PENANAbUclqZ0N8z
397Please respect copyright.PENANAp4U0ixpANK
397Please respect copyright.PENANA8Ox6alJoVe
一笑了之?
397Please respect copyright.PENANAfAP5QpG2T1
397Please respect copyright.PENANAoBx96cLQAW
397Please respect copyright.PENANAihqiQ808Ag
呵呵,不了。
ns216.73.216.246da2