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Lucrezia cried out in pain.
Her hands gripped the white sheets of the convent bed, her nails jutting painfully into her palms. She bit back another scream, gritting her teeth sharply until her gums felt numb.
“You must try to relax, my lady!” Penthesilea said by her side. Lucrezia’s maid had placed her hand comfortingly on her mistress’ forearm.750Please respect copyright.PENANA94kJCvcJmB
Lucrezia took a deep breath.750Please respect copyright.PENANAYg0O187SAT
“My mother.” She managed say. Penthislea attempted to sooth her.750Please respect copyright.PENANAjkViWlOzpR
“Your mother is on her way, my lady. Give her time, give her time.”750Please respect copyright.PENANAplZN7glWY3
“There is… no… time!” Lucrezia cried out, feeling the pain once more overwhelm her.
The rain outside lashed at the windows. When it had first started, the rainfall was slow and gentle. Lucrezia had timed her breathing to the patters on the window pane, but the gentle drizzle had quickly turned into a storm. She could no longer hope to keep her breathing in time with the rain on the glass or the whistle of the wind, and she found herself wailing in despair.750Please respect copyright.PENANASxEcuhNHbi
“I cannot, Penthesilea. I cannot!!” She threw herself back onto the pillows.750Please respect copyright.PENANArUkroS1VxH
Penthesilea was at a loss; her mistress was deep in the throes of labour and the weather had prevented her mother and the midwife from travelling swiftly to the convent.
Just as Penthesilea was about to give up hope and send for one of the nuns to deliver the baby, the door opened and Vanozza Cattanei strode into the room, removing her riding gloves and rain soaked cloak.
“My girl!” She cried, hurrying to her daughter’s side. Lucrezia attempted a small smile, but the pain in her abdomen cut her attempt short. Her mother turned to Penthesilea.750Please respect copyright.PENANAX81X3Dl4O6
“The midwife shall not be far behind me. Fetch hot water and towels for the child, and bring a cold compress for my daughter. I fear it shall be a long night.” She said grimly.750Please respect copyright.PENANAeiplvJdvNB
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The hooves of Cesare’s horse pounded against the rough road leading to the convent. He could see lights in the distance, the faint glow of candles in windows.750Please respect copyright.PENANAKFaPqdZY49
He stopped for a brief moment, pausing in the downpour. He turned, and could see the dark outline of Michelotto following close behind.
“What is it, my lord?” Michelotto asked when he had caught up. He had halted the horse roughly, and it exhaled loudly, shaking its head and sending raindrops in every direction.
“She is in there, Michelotto. She is to become a mother.” Cesare said, wiping water from his face before bursting into laughter.
“She is, my lord. Which is why you should not be stopping here.” Michelotto said with a raised eyebrow. Cesare, with a grin, nodded and tapped his heels on the horse’s side.750Please respect copyright.PENANAe0b3IUaa0c
“Indeed. Keep up if you can, Michelotto!” Cesare called behind him as his horse galloped away, closing the distance between Cesare and the convent that kept Lucrezia from him.
Cesare crossed the threshold and the nuns instantly retreated. His reputation had preceded him. His violence and short temper combined with his sardonic streak was a combination for trouble, and all of Rome - nay, all of Europe - knew it.
The water droplets still clung tightly to his dark, wind-swept hair and his whole appearance was weather-worn and tired, yet he still managed to walk with a dignity that would not be amiss among royalty. 750Please respect copyright.PENANAojyJCSaCjD
He was just like Lucrezia, thought Michelotto as he watched his master walk before him. So beautiful and alluring. So strikingly similar, and yet so radically different. He was dark where she was fair. He was fearsome where she was gentle. It was little wonder they had all of Italy gossiping.
Cesare was in a good mood this night. The usual glower that he sported was nowhere to be found. He had visited Lucrezia a number of times during her time at the convent, and the nuns had always fled before him. He usually came straight from Rome, straight from a busy day scheming in Vatican City or brawling with his brother in the streets. Usually he had a countenance that would send ice running through the veins of even the bravest soul.750Please respect copyright.PENANA3NMr9uJ7T0
But tonight he was…jovial.750Please respect copyright.PENANArltcYgqmY9
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The nuns whispered as they hurried past him, and tonight he found it amusing. He never tired of the terror he could instil with just a glance.
He glanced back into the courtyard before going inside. Michelotto was tethering the horses next to another. The other was tall and black, with a white stretch of fur on its nose. His mother’s horse.750Please respect copyright.PENANA3wP1t9CAuG
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The three horses stood side by side under the shelter.750Please respect copyright.PENANAXc68636QJB
Cesare noted with pleasure that Giovanni had not yet arrived. Let him get caught in the rain, he thought to himself, let him drown.750Please respect copyright.PENANA1fJstTpsOK
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“Cesare!” Vanozza said in surprise when he entered Lucrezia’s chamber.750Please respect copyright.PENANANIJMZeIkat
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The chamber was comfortable, for a convent at least. Tapestries hung on the walls, her harp sat in the corner by the small, modest window. Lucrezia was no nun, merely a young girl hiding from her responsibilities.750Please respect copyright.PENANAwXeVKUPKeK
Cesare hated her being here, so far away from Rome. So far away from him.750Please respect copyright.PENANAJF8ZCEXkyK
He glanced at the dressing table littered with jewels. He saw that many of the glittering gold necklaces and stones were ones that he had bought her. He saw no sign of the ring that Giovanni had gifted her the year before last. He delighted in that.
“You cannot be here!” Vanozza said, leaving her daughter’s side to usher him out. Lucrezia looked at him from the bed. Her beautiful eyes were red and puffy, sweat dripping down her forehead. Her golden hair was soaked and dull. She opened her mouth to protest, to say that it was okay for Cesare to be there. It was Cesare, after all.750Please respect copyright.PENANABk7VtW749f
Vanozza silenced her with a raised palm.750Please respect copyright.PENANAcBHdqPTcgR
“You know that men cannot be in the birthing chamber.” She said sternly.750Please respect copyright.PENANAQptx0LXGCA
“But I-“ Cesare began. Vanozza stopped him with an iron glare.750Please respect copyright.PENANATHd5CsaylH
“Out.” She commanded.
Even Cesare could not argue. Before leaving, he took Lucrezia’s slender hand and kissed it. She smiled a little, before being wracked with pain once more.750Please respect copyright.PENANAiHxr8WeAfs
Cesare’s eyes widened. He had never before witnessed labour, and to see his Lucrezia in such agony made him furious.750Please respect copyright.PENANAeNI2t7U5lN
“Pray for me.” She whispered as he knelt to kiss her cheek. She spoke almost silently; not another in the room heard her plea. Cesare nodded.750Please respect copyright.PENANAi7aneyB2z8
“I shall. Most earnestly.” He said in low tones. She attempted a laugh.750Please respect copyright.PENANAhsgRFUp6AY
“You never… do anything earnestly.” She said between deep breaths.750Please respect copyright.PENANANfhl7fEPKa
“Oh Lucrezia, I do for you.” He said softly, smiling gently at her before rising and leaving the room without looking back.750Please respect copyright.PENANACB5b9nxR6Q
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Cesare waited outside, his fists clenching each time Lucrezia’s screams pierced the air. Michelotto looked sympathetically at him. It only made him angrier.750Please respect copyright.PENANAZHsezCy5zx
“I do not need your pity, Michelotto.” He snapped. Michelotto raised his palms in surrender.750Please respect copyright.PENANAb3WCkfeTLX
“Yes, my lord.” He said. Cesare avoided looking him in the eye after that.
Hooves were heard in the courtyard and the pair stood up to get a better look.750Please respect copyright.PENANAYJzdrXeT8m
A large horse was riding in, a saddle edged with gold on its back. It’s rider was cloaked and hooded, but even the hood was lavish. It was clearly made of expensive fabric, and the hint of a gold chain could be glimpsed around the rider’s neck.750Please respect copyright.PENANAcuYAyBj9S8
The rider paraded the horse around the courtyard for a moment, making the creature lift up each hoof in turn as though it were a show horse. The rider was arrogant, showing off his wealth to an empty courtyard.
“Giovanni.” Cesare muttered under his breath. He rolled his eyes and sent a look of contempt in the rider’s direction.
“Someone come and tend to my horse!” Giovanni called, dismounting. Michelotto moved to go to the beast, but Cesare stopped him with an extended arm. A look of warning from his master sent Michelotto retreating back to his former position.750Please respect copyright.PENANAsTys0LYzGF
“He can tend his own fucking horse.” Cesare said with a snarl.750Please respect copyright.PENANAJBq1eMPlnd
“Ah, Cesare!” Giovanni said pleasantly as he gathered with the two other men outside Lucrezia’s room. “I see you did not change from your street clothes before coming to see Lucrezia.” He said, looking with a smug smile at Cesare’s garb.750Please respect copyright.PENANAG50077R8Eo
“Why would I waste time in changing, when she needed me so here?” Cesare asked through gritted teeth. Giovanni shrugged.750Please respect copyright.PENANAux8Sp3JNKY
“I thought you should want to be more… presentable for her big day.” Giovanni remarked. He shrugged. “It is no matter. How is my sister?” He asked.750Please respect copyright.PENANAYL7xEqXWwe
“Fine.” Cesare replied sharply. Giovanni smirked.750Please respect copyright.PENANAnCLo9Roe8o
“The Holy Father should be here soon. Even the Pope would not miss the birth of his first grandchild.”750Please respect copyright.PENANAEu37gFU4G1
Cesare, usually so composed, failed to mask his surprise. That the Pope should leave Rome so suddenly was unusual. For the Pope to leave Rome so suddenly, in the midst of a storm, to be present at the birth of his bastard daughter’s bastard child was unheard of.
“I see he did not tell you, Cesare.” Giovanni said. “I should have thought he would have told you… after all, it is you that have been with him all day in the Vatican, not I. And yet he still found time to inform me of his plans. Strange.” He said with a patronising, conceited laugh.
Cesare bit his tongue. He glared at Giovanni, envisaging his head on a spike over the Tiber.
Giovanni strolled inside and sat on the benches not far from Lucrezia’s door.750Please respect copyright.PENANAFspBMw1h95
The door opened as Penthesilea hurried to fetch more towels and water. Lucrezia’s screams were growing louder, and at the end of each scream was a heart wrenching sob.
Even Giovanni was perturbed by the sounds.750Please respect copyright.PENANAxbWYu0Mg1k
Cesare longed to go in there and endure the pain for her, or at the very least, to wipe away her tears and give her his hand to hold. If there was any way to take the pain from her, to take it all in her stead, Cesare knew without doubt that he would do it.
“My lord,” Michelotto said suddenly. He nodded his head in the direction of the courtyard. Two more horses were approaching.750Please respect copyright.PENANAEQ2uv23jA2
“Is it the Pope?” Michelotto asked. Cesare nodded.
“I told you my father would be here.” Giovanni said, coming to join Cesare and Michelotto.
Cesare nodded to Michelotto, a wordless gesture that Michelotto understood. Immediately he went into the rain to aid the Holy Father off his horse and take the creature into the shelter with the others.750Please respect copyright.PENANAJGLfE0ERrh
Alexander Borgia thanked Michelotto, before moving quickly to shelter himself.
“Ah!” He said when he beheld both Cesare and Giovanni. “My sons!” He took both of them into his arms.750Please respect copyright.PENANAF8RzuxlzLP
“I shall go to Lucrezia.” He said directly.750Please respect copyright.PENANA2duyOxh9Pc
“Vanozza will not let you in.” Cesare warned with a smile. Alexander waved a hand.750Please respect copyright.PENANAwS0DIr4Lzg
“I know how to handle Vanozza. Besides, she would not reject the presence of God’s representative on Earth!” He said with a chuckle. Cesare’s lips turned upwards in a smile as the Holy Father pushed open the door and immediately cast aside Vanozza’s disgruntlement.
The rain was still pouring.750Please respect copyright.PENANAq2CWnkXXfx
It was well into the night now, and Lucrezia was no closer to giving birth. Cesare sat outside with his head in his hands, Giovanni paced in the hallway and inside, Vanozza was growing increasingly worried.
“Mama,” Lucrezia cried. “I cannot, I cannot... not anymore.” She whimpered. Vanozza took her daughter’s hand and squeezed it tightly.750Please respect copyright.PENANAZURUPodffK
“You must have strength!” She said, looking to Alexander for support.750Please respect copyright.PENANAKUFv1R8vIv
Alexander was at a loss. He adored his daughter more than anything in the world, and to see her in such pain was an anguish he had not expected to feel. He made the sign of the cross over her, and muttered a quick prayer in her name.
“I want to see Cesare.” Lucrezia asked. Vanozza looked again to Alexander.750Please respect copyright.PENANAHLdx2xuBzv
Alexander shrugged.750Please respect copyright.PENANA6alnATo8GA
“If the child wants Cesare to comfort her…” He said. Vanozza sighed and got up to the door.
Cesare entered tentatively.750Please respect copyright.PENANAzqOnmVqxjH
“Lucrezia!” He said upon seeing her. He had never before seen her so weak and pale. Her beautiful face, with its rosy complexion, was turning a grey colour. He hid his concern and rushed to her bedside.750Please respect copyright.PENANA0WRtpKhruh
“Cesare, did you pray?” She asked faintly.750Please respect copyright.PENANAtWGSLCXEpS
“Yes.” He lied. He mentally reminded himself to do so as soon as he was free from her presence.750Please respect copyright.PENANAEzuQYXdNEx
“Then I shall not worry. I shall be fine.” She said with a nod. She looked up at the ceiling of the chamber.750Please respect copyright.PENANA65o8Ahpwpt
Cesare placed a cool hand on her forehead.750Please respect copyright.PENANA5Y7OcrQ1LK
“She is as hot as a furnace!” He exclaimed. “Can we not open the window?”
Vanozza shook her head.
Lucrezia writhed as the pain began again, and Cesare stood immediately.750Please respect copyright.PENANAwcFjOeGHez
“What can I do?!” He begged. “Lucrezia, let me do something to help you.” He said in desperation.750Please respect copyright.PENANABO8AnDdFPY
She shook her head as tears began to fall from her eyes. He wiped them instantly with his sleeve.
Vanozza pushed him gently to the door.
“You should be outside Cesare. You can do nothing in here.”750Please respect copyright.PENANAZTRO7qWgkV
"I cannot!" He cried, pushing back against Vanozza's arm. "I shall not leave her!"750Please respect copyright.PENANAeNiZyEsnvH
His heart ached to see her in such a state, and he vowed that he would be there to endure her pain with her. Each contraction for her was like a knife wound to his own gut. Her screams pierced him harder than the blade of a sword.750Please respect copyright.PENANAjsocU1Icqf
Cesare was no squeamish man. He had tortured men in the past, and had never so much as batted an eyelid at their cries of pain or the blood flowing profusely from the wounds he inflicted. But Lucrezia was different. Lucrezia was more dear to him than anything else in the world. She was his.750Please respect copyright.PENANAblvqxImnQ9
Vanozza looked at him with sympathy in her eyes.750Please respect copyright.PENANApLB9KkLn64
"You can do nothing here." She repeated gently.750Please respect copyright.PENANAFw3SQqg9EC
With downcast eyes, Cesare relented. He admitted defeat and cast one last glance to his beloved Lucrezia before returning outside.
“I do so wish Lucrezia would hurry up and just have the child.” Giovanni complained.750Please respect copyright.PENANA2codJDC1Nn
Cesare bit his tongue once more.750Please respect copyright.PENANAqbO3m0xtbc
“I have business to attend to in the city.” Giovanni continued. Cesare snorted.750Please respect copyright.PENANAuyGTkeCONG
“In a whore house? I wouldn’t call that business, brother. I’d call that a lack of ability to fuck a woman without paying her first.”750Please respect copyright.PENANABBxg5OUcdq
Now it was Giovanni’s turn to bite his tongue. His hand moved to the sword at his hip, wondering just what would happen if he were to draw it and run Cesare through. His fingers lingered at the hilt. He took a deep breath and removed his hand, clenching it into a fist.
“Even if that is so - which it isn’t - you and I both know that you're merely bitter. I am Giovanni Borgia! The favourite son of His Holiness the Pope!" He said grandly, raising his arms open to the air. "But not you. He happily signed the document denying you as his son. You are no Borgia, Cesare.” Giovanni said with a sadistic smile.
Cesare paused for just one brief moment before lunging.
Cesare’s force sent the both of them tumbling through the archway and into the courtyard. They landed gracelessly in a large puddle. Giovanni laughed from the floor as Cesare stood.750Please respect copyright.PENANA1ieeSSCSNA
“Jesus, do you realise just how easy it is? I can push all of your buttons just so… fucking easily.”
Cesare shook his head, laughing himself. It was no good-humoured laugh. It was cold, calculating. Murderous.750Please respect copyright.PENANAgl5ASzMkt2
“If it’s so easy, brother, why do you do it? I always thought you liked a challenge.” He asked. He moved closer to Giovanni, grabbing him by the throat. “All I have to do is squeeze…” He whispered. Giovanni glared as he struggled for breath. Cesare increased the pressure, smiling as Giovanni's pulse raced beneath his fingers.750Please respect copyright.PENANAiKUK5ayQs4
He found pleasure in the power taking a life gave him. God might grant life, but Cesare Borgia could take it away, and he wouldn't think twice before doing it.
“The Pope would never forgive you if I died at your hands.”
“You underestimate me!” Cesare said with a menacing laugh. “It would look so much like an accident that God himself wouldn’t question it.”750Please respect copyright.PENANAKe7AtnO5A8
He tightened the grip on Giovanni's throat once more. Giovanni's nails were leaving scratches on Cesare's hands, clawing at his knuckles. Cesare only revelled in the pain and the thrill of the fight.750Please respect copyright.PENANAoVoYIq4S1Y
Thunder cracked overhead, a flash of lightning illuminating the scene in the courtyard. Giovanni saw for the first time the merciless expression on Cesare's face, and though he would never admit it, he began to feel something akin to fear.
Michelotto was standing in the archway, waiting to step in. His hand was already on the dagger concealed in his belt. All Cesare had to do was nod…
But instead of nodding, Cesare shook his head. Michelotto relaxed his grip on his weapon. Cesare loosened his grip on Giovanni’s throat roughly, and pushed his head viciously to the ground.
Giovanni spat the mud out of his mouth as he sat up and wiped the rain from his face. It was still falling heavily, and the pair of them had been soaked to the bone.750Please respect copyright.PENANA2aqWqQsseq
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Then Lucrezia’s door opened, and they straightened up immediately.750Please respect copyright.PENANAeadP2Adyz6
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“It is a boy.” Vanozza said softly. If she even noticed the dishevelled appearance of her sons, she did not comment.750Please respect copyright.PENANAfKXjfZsZgN
They strode into Lucrezia’s chamber. She was sitting upright, a bundle of blankets in her arms. She was smiling.750Please respect copyright.PENANAKja3e3g69j
Cesare breathed a sigh of relief, his anger temporarily forgotten. He rushed to her side, sinking to his knees.
“Thank God.” He whispered.750Please respect copyright.PENANAIQoEfZsjRk
“Do not thank God. Thank yourself, Cesare. I should not have had the strength to go on if you were not here.” Lucrezia said softly. She had tears in her eyes, and she took one hand off the baby and placed it on top of Cesare’s. He squeezed her hand, looking up at her in admiration.750Please respect copyright.PENANA6WcdKeYNjl
“You are the strongest woman I have ever known.” He said, pressing a lingering kiss to her hand. She shrugged.750Please respect copyright.PENANAwvoqGcznSB
“If you say so.”
“Have you decided on a name, my dear?” Alexander asked from the foot of the bed.750Please respect copyright.PENANAQWbJ2j6RAi
“Yes.” Lucrezia said proudly. Cesare looked up at her. “He shall be called Giovanni.”
Cesare’s heart missed a beat. Giovanni. He had somewhat vainly thought that if the child were to be named after anyone, it would be named Cesare. Giovanni? Why Giovanni?! The elder Giovanni was smiling. He shot a glance at Cesare, and Cesare knew in that moment that he should have strangled him outside.
“Giovanni.” Cesare said coldly. Lucrezia looked at him apologetically. “I see.” He said bluntly.
Lucrezia studied him. Cesare, her dark haired, dark eyed, handsome Cesare. He could be as arrogant as Giovanni somedays, and his temper was certainly one to be feared. He must have told a thousand girls he’d loved them, but Lucrezia knew he only ever really meant it when he said it to her. He must have had hundreds of affairs all over Italy, but Lucrezia knew for certain that she was the one who really held his heart.750Please respect copyright.PENANA6uKOmfWkWB
He was a formidable man, she knew that much. She knew that people in the streets only ever whispered his name, and even then they did so looking over their shoulder for fear that he should overhear them. She knew that those Cesare disliked often ended up floating in the Tiber or poisoned at their dinner table. And yet Lucrezia also knew that despite all of Cesare's faults, despite all of his sins, she was the only one he was honest with. She was the only one who had ever been able to melt his frozen heart and quell his formidable tempers. She had always loved him infinitely more than Giovanni.
She looked at him now, kneeling by her bedside, and felt simply dreadful that she should have hurt him so. She should have known how he would react. Giovanni and Cesare had fought for her affection for as long as she could remember, but Cesare was the one that had always protected her, looked out for her, killed for her. Her loving Cesare, the only constant in her life. 750Please respect copyright.PENANAbhhe9cTfhk
Surely he should know by now, Lucrezia thought, that there is no contest? That I would chose Cesare over Giovanni each time?
“Oh Cesare,” She said, looking into his deep, dark eyes. “Forgive me.” She asked.750Please respect copyright.PENANAcC8pa5xu8q
He nodded in response, but did not meet her eyes.
The room was silent save for the occasional murmurings of the baby Giovanni. All the others had left, leaving Cesare and Lucrezia quite alone.
Cesare sat on the window seat, watching the rain fall down. The worst of the storm had passed and the rain was finally beginning to ease.750Please respect copyright.PENANADIYi8n5Z5r
He glanced at Lucrezia. She was lying in bed, cradling the sleeping baby. No matter how hurt he had been, Cesare saw that he would love her regardless. She had rested a little, and her beauty had returned. The most beautiful woman in Rome, Cesare insisted. He would kill anyone who suggested otherwise.
“Cesare,” She said. It was the first word either of them had yet spoken. “Please. Forgive me.”
“I will.” He said stiffly. "I always will."750Please respect copyright.PENANArVso0YzXR5
“Do you mean it?” She asked. There was something in his face not quite convincing her of his forgiveness.750Please respect copyright.PENANACOgszMOoEQ
He sighed heavily and got up from his seat by the window.
“Lucrezia there is nothing on this earth you could do that I could not forgive.” He sat on the edge of her bed, taking her hand. “You could be sent to Hell for the most heinous of crimes and I would forgive you. Jesus, I’d probably be right there alongside you.”
Lucrezia laughed, but it hurt her in so many different places to do so that she had to stop. She winced in pain and Cesare rubbed her hand comfortingly.
“I’ll leave you to sleep.” He said, rising from the bed. Lucrezia nodded.
“You’ll come tomorrow?” She asked.750Please respect copyright.PENANApi3boni1Ah
“Of course.” He replied, pressing a kiss to her forehead. She smiled as he turned away.750Please respect copyright.PENANAdpVPQMiuiF
“Cesare?” She said as he reached for the door handle. He paused and turned back to her. “I love you, brother.”
He smiled.750Please respect copyright.PENANAFhbD2YBPjV
“I love you too, sister.”
Authors note: Some things to clear up - 1) Giovanni actually died in 1497. His body was found in the Tiber and Cesare is the main murder suspect. I kept him alive a tad longer to see how Cesare would react to Lucrezia's first child being named after him. He is also kept alive longer in shows such as The Borgias. 2) The father of Lucrezia's child, Pedro Caldes, also died mysteriously. Chances are that was Cesare too. 3) I've left this quite open, so you can decide yourself whether Lucrezia and Cesare were involved romantically or not. Cesare was certainly very possessive of his sister, and they appear to have been extremely close. However, I personally doubt it went any further than sibling love. 4) A note on what Giovanni says to Cesare: He says he was no true Borgia. Alexander, in order to make Cesare a cardinal, had to deny Cesare was his son. If memory serves me right, the bull stating so was later repealed, but in the 1490's, Cesare was, at least officially, the legitimate son of another instead of the bastard son of the Pope.750Please respect copyright.PENANAXTi172UF0r
(Ps, Cesare is pronounced as Chesaray and Lucrezia as Lucretzee-ah.)
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