《相愛十年》//《結咗婚十幾年，好似已經唔太愛。》 - 無聊廿四（一）

曾經，思思覺得和阿朗如此守着這一間房子，也挺好。狹小、舒適、温馨，這100%的安全感。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVYdKSQHiRr
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只是，日復日的無聊瑣事，連時間都過得很慢。她只好自我調笑，總比白駒過隙好，起碼她的容顏仍然盛放。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEDHpYkBXt
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有時，她煮好午餐，但未夠鐘到幼稚園接棉花糖放學，她沒有什麼好做的。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpzphiVUkr
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她看出窗外，恍神；一瞬間，有鳥飛過，但她只捕捉到後知後覺的殘影。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNCCJvNqhDH
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這種她「獨佔」的時光，起初她享受，畢竟再無娃娃的高音哭鬧聲，不需要晨早清理散落的玩具，輕鬆百倍。但後來，莫名地覺得很寂寞，可能她已經習慣自己被棉花糖黏着的身軀，如今卻無比輕盈，竟然更顯飄零。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI7JRB4fTTf
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寂寞，好一種殘缺的美感。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUi7briyMLC
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寂寞——可以分享嗎？1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrH1tqabujl
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如果她說：「我覺得好無聊，好悶，完全唔知做緊咩。」阿朗聽罷，會否覺得她在炫耀？他的汗滴在泥地上遭太陽蒸發；而她則抱怨，十點半的陽光不夠猛烈，不足以曬乾衣服。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2UFMwn3zU
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「獨佔」二字，到底有不能與人分享的意味，即使摰愛。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcSUaznwvy
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看着鬧鐘，目聞「咔、咔……」的冷硬，卻仍然不急不慢。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7Py57hdvS
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這種孤單令她覺得，自己不被需要，阿朗辛勤上班，棉花糖歡樂學習，他們途中會有一刻想起自己嗎？恐怕沒有。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyVcwhGnih
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咔、咔。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAvbllWQpg
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心裏空蕩蕩的，像極了一個圓形的時鐘，由秒針決定她的腳步、分針主宰她的行為、時秒裁決她的思緒，但無論這三針怎樣行走，仍然尚有太多空白，填不滿、留不低。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJokfr4rp0M
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她驚訝，她已不是以前那個程思思。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirJxLxMzdU
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此前，她很喜歡獨處，因為很自在，不需理會別人的眼光，不用擔心自己失儀，不用思考一聽就很勉強的話題。而且，獨處即是供她和自己好好相處，消化一天勞碌帶來的壓力。現在，她卻寧願和人更親近一點，任他是誰，譬如聽街市菜檔的姐姐賣菜讚菜甜、主動和鄰居尷尬寒暄、加入幼稚園的媽媽谷。她不想有被世界遺棄之感。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRE6Qsqtg2J
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思思開始想念，以前常常和阿朗黏在一起的日子。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVR4WkoZVX
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她也想念以前上學的日子，每日穿梭山腳和山頂，天地堂到處閒逛，靜賞風吹葉拽，然後，吃個吉列豬排加薯條作下午茶；如果上連堂，十五分鐘內急忙跑山，久而久之，心肺功能因而進步。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQ1kwwPmE5
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她愛學習，她喜歡思考一些沒有答案的問題，尤其好於聆聽人間事；以往，經常聽到不同的個案例子，沉重，但因而令她更有動力踏足校園。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndXH3GjIBM
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這一種充實。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoTFTVSWltV
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現在，她想工作了，她想接case；但知道還不是時候，所以只有空想。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0iAPjmslp
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咔、咔——1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckCxIicZHw
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好無聊。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2a1BArOpa
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中午，思思接棉花糖放學。到家，傍她吃飯，服侍小主子。棉花糖的一口飯，可以含上五分鐘，口腔長期靜止，眼睛圓轆轆地睜着——食到發吽哣。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DaEa8FXAZ
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起初，思思覺得棉花糖食得太慢，飯菜變涼；後來，她又覺得，這樣靜靜看着棉花糖吃飯，時間好像過得比平時快。當然，還是會催促棉花糖，着她好好咀嚼、吞嚥。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKClNI6wF43
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吃飯後，思思都會叫棉花糖做功課，自己則去洗碗。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ELBIyrX6o
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良久，棉花糖已做完「用間尺畫直線」的功課，思思檢查，滿意，然後着棉花糖午睡。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqMjrMPVOW
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思思看着棉花糖漸漸睡去，屋內又只剩他倆微弱的心跳聲，而思思只能感受到自己的脈搏，感受到，又只剩她一個。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjCJHkHpih
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咔、咔。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSuqdndhUC
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她想念阿朗。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoHBkHGI83
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閒來無事，研究一下牆壁白屑剝落的形狀、整理一下堆滿椅子的衫褲、洗擦一下保温壺內膽的污漬。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BR9G071Yb
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終於，夠鐘喚棉花糖起床，帶她到樓下公園，和幼稚園的同學玩。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkM20aX58aL
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坐在樓下的長椅上，和其他小孩的媽媽有一搭沒一搭地聊着，她們漸漸熟絡，一邊看着小孩蘯千秋，一邊用手拍打附在腳上試圖吸血的蚊子，話題從小孩到烹飪、再從保養到婆媳關係。話畢，又埋怨一下小孩的「畫圓功課」太困難，最後還不是由家長完成。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZyeLuqtXH9
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似乎，各有各的憂慮。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BJ6I3jFXe
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只有思思自豪——棉花糖好叻，佢個圓，畫得好圓！1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllmUHeAqR1
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天色漸暗，思思領棉花糖回家。煮飯，今早已買餸、洗菜。等阿朗回家，即可開飯。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP7ZuqWecgj
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她在成為一個好妻子，等待她的好丈夫歸來。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRRxRABHltS
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阿朗回家，洗完澡，吃飯、喝湯、陪棉花糖玩「煮飯仔」、帶她上床睡覺，在旁聽思思說睡前故事；看向思思的眼神，還是很温柔，不過，有些神不守舍。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRLzJNWyUE
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起初，思思會問：「番工番成點？」、「今日係咪好曬？辛苦你啦——」1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1f6uIVLzJ
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阿朗訕訕：「ok啊。」、「咪都係咁。」1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKOwAg8wUE
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後來，思思沒有問，阿朗也沒有主動說，他不想將工作的苦悶分享，這種東西作為與年輕妻子的話題，十分無趣。若要轉述工場對話，又要過濾粗口，太麻煩。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosAecV7DFW
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所以，思思以擁抱代替言語問候，以替其按摩肩頸代替直抒自己的無聊。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoe2hmZem9
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她着阿朗坐床上，她跪坐於他的背後，看着他的後腦，嗅到他的氣味，想要他。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3zE8t74kvM
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思思將手伸向阿朗的鎖骨，下延，指尖掃過他的乳頭，打圈。思思單手環抱阿朗，親吻他，用舌頭撬開他的唇；他也以舌頭回應，有條不紊，像一個沉穩的財閥。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwLtBwOtDJM
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思思的手沒有閒下來，套弄他的陰莖，像擰開樽蓋一樣輕捽龜頭；很快，思思趴在床上，含住他的硬物，手指來回刮掃睾丸底部，再舔啜脹鼓鼓的囊包。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDzRfhyGPx
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「我坐上嚟？」很久沒有用「女上」姿勢做愛，思思想起，以前經常攤軟在阿朗胯下，大汗淋漓；現在，讓他稍稍休息。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLyHZSqQ7j
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「宜家做？」1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9AzIpbCUSf
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阿朗的身體提醒他，問這個明顯已有答案的問題。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsVqmoWwys
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其實他也想做愛，他本來就是一個享受性愛的人，但他覺得「啪啪啪」這種聲響，呈現的是力量感，他累，想充電——憑藉睡覺，而非將陰莖插入陰道。只是下體已經站立，不想跪下。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoS8GaZeD9z
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「放心，唔轉姿勢，今日我服侍你。」思思推倒阿朗，牽着他的手。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTsjzsd9Po
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思思的的腰像轉呼拉圈一樣搖動，一會兒，愛液流至阿朗的陰囊。他微微呻吟，思思加速上下坐落，胸部也因而上下跌蕩。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnw77mKjrix
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「好鍾意你生完之後嘅身材，多咗肉地。」1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcIWKQOlHH
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他的手不斷揉搓她的胸部，又輕輕握着她柔媚的腰，再摸摸剖腹留下的疤痕。與最初的羞澀不同，她多了幾分激情，坦率地面紅急喘，這樣的她竟然已經生育。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKXpappBFo
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思思高潮，陰部緊緊收縮，人才剛抽搐兩下；阿朗隨即側身抽出陰莖，將精液射在思思的腳上，她知道，他這次故意放任自己的慾液；以往他很持久，誓令她腳軟；她明白，他是真的累，早完，早休息。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZanQSJ4ZgW
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他吻了吻她。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTP84OMwzAZ
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思思抹走精液，去一下廁所。回房，見阿朗已經攤睡，但聽到她開門，又坐起來，問：1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAWYiZKOZw
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「老婆，你瞓覺未？我有啲攰……」1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVK3uvqMFdC
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「瞓。辛苦你啦今日，同埋，每一日。」1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuPjKmPjqw
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「邊係。你——我啱啱好爽。」1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuH4NOfF1E
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阿朗微笑。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPWYYRph7Mj
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思思回味剛剛的高潮，她忽然想再享受一次性快感，一次，就一次。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5rZTeJ2ae
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或者是多吻他一次。所幸，仍有一整晚可以躺在同一張床上，而且，沒有棉花糖打擾。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDeAuJtiFYm
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她希望，他也享受和自己在一起的夜晚，享受只有他倆的寧靜或者喘息。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MmE4tYuZl
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關燈，二人睡覺。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicNYt977r1
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開眼、開眼。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9H4e3pXNp
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閉眼、閉眼。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03gReXCZ2E
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閉眼、開眼。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUFfioyK1H
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無聊感，湧上思思心頭。她總覺得，意猶未盡。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcSNPjrfKql
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阿朗不打鼻鼾，但有「嘶——嘶——」的呼吸聲；她在旁聽着，也好，很實切地感覺到他在旁邊。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLVxyHCBQS
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此刻，她想抱抱阿朗，但放棄，以免驚醒他，她暗忖明晚一定要相擁入眠。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBa2QRL7uGA
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漸漸，思思經常獨自做一件事。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobhYeQRahv
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她因而有些莫名的羞恥感。1404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTJ7f70yhf