【 2 . 3 】憂鬱上癮
No Plagiarism!1y7ouRtHapF7hjTdBytuposted on PENANA 8964 copyright protection408PENANAidlZgf60pz 維尼
我失眠了。8964 copyright protection408PENANAo4bl8LWUV0 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAhHx1fRGqsB
8964 copyright protection408PENANAEQWJWdWuuf 維尼
安眠藥這種東西也會產生抗體的嗎?上個月剩下的薪水,已經無法負擔這筆支出了。8964 copyright protection408PENANAFq8bVSuAz3 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAB3mhTszzkE
8964 copyright protection408PENANAfaWgdQbhzi 維尼
跟毒品和那個女孩一樣,都是心靈的寄託。但卻也能夠成為寄生蟲,在胃酸裡攢動,讓人在渴望與痛苦之間,澈底失去理智。8964 copyright protection408PENANAdVgmN7umT5 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAFKaXB47w69
8964 copyright protection408PENANAqyApBKGjtD 維尼
笑裡藏刀,似乎也跟社會一樣。8964 copyright protection408PENANAdxXtpW4ywW 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA4tfeIr4Q6y
8964 copyright protection408PENANAdPpJafQOsy 維尼
「你該試試把燈全關了,有些人在黑暗裡反而更感到安全。」8964 copyright protection408PENANABgoMBFD6vx 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAk5rd7TDMr2
8964 copyright protection408PENANAlkpUkxNJII 維尼
如果黑暗能夠讓我入眠,那我買安眠藥幹嘛?8964 copyright protection408PENANAoSsftwpa9t 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAasw80zlzcp
8964 copyright protection408PENANAoI6Atnq6M4 維尼
但黑暗確實能讓我感到心安──歸宿。我是這麼解釋它的。8964 copyright protection408PENANA3d5JweX2IL 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAztjQLkEkxY
8964 copyright protection408PENANAAypRCer0qV 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA23XNaG9Mzt
8964 copyright protection408PENANA4a1jF8BrO2 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAx52yisgw4S
8964 copyright protection408PENANA7OfCcFLXV5 維尼
腦子不斷胡思亂想著,就這麼迎來了清晨的第一縷朝陽。8964 copyright protection408PENANAsMyOaYVBA5 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAoW5lFUiV08
8964 copyright protection408PENANAVXnDjzSzpZ 維尼
有點失望,應該說非常失望。比起太陽,我喜歡月亮來得多。8964 copyright protection408PENANAuxC6QXbrvu 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAk5n9e4UYnE
8964 copyright protection408PENANADwnNCNjJFU 維尼
坐起身子,迷茫的看著櫃子上的那支手機。我好想請假──每天都這麼想──可我每年還是都拿了全勤。8964 copyright protection408PENANAYVb0gVtDEe 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAzEZDUlvaiz
8964 copyright protection408PENANAR0qMvR0psN 維尼
「還是去吧……。」呢喃著,我下樓沖了今天的第一杯黑美式。8964 copyright protection408PENANAkJ3cfDNAJR 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAa3cvKxvMMK
8964 copyright protection408PENANAtiCZiDdL3o 維尼
不喝水,似乎成為了現代人的通病。8964 copyright protection408PENANA2v4Ww7Tfl4 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANABlyrJXa0tl
8964 copyright protection408PENANA1pzBXegYQt 維尼
「哈奇,過來。」那是我養了七年的黃金獵犬。8964 copyright protection408PENANA10cgRQmBrM 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAzxc6NPikz9
8964 copyright protection408PENANAQ7FqVYydiC 維尼
能夠從小個子養成現在的龐然大物,也是我始料未及的。他撒嬌地蹭了蹭我的手背,親暱的繞著正倒著飼料的我。8964 copyright protection408PENANACCcScRUt6o 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAXG7nYee1xG
8964 copyright protection408PENANAmlE2JUzpMN 維尼
貪吃鬼與討厭鬼的生活,一成不變。8964 copyright protection408PENANA07nwIvhDNk 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAPpFld9Ayze
8964 copyright protection408PENANAfgVlHtvdjF 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAT2fpiqeXM8
8964 copyright protection408PENANAIItkixn8Qw 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANANpWxyjhfnj
8964 copyright protection408PENANAHRGp40HfqB 維尼
「回去前弄好這份報告。好好做,這攸關明天與大公司合約的成敗。」上司拍了拍我的肩膀,沉重、壓抑。8964 copyright protection408PENANAAgXwjOTK2M 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA5ZTFYfxpLl
8964 copyright protection408PENANArfq9WKQMsv 維尼
簡簡單單的一句話,潛台詞就是要我加班。8964 copyright protection408PENANAQpbSJXElCx 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAAIiDngKDH8
8964 copyright protection408PENANAXrjGU3I1y2 維尼
沖泡了第二杯黑美式,與辦公室的任何人一樣──除了被排在角落裡的那個新人──無神的盯著刺激眼球的藍光,麻木的成為公司的機器人。或許說是傀儡比較貼切。8964 copyright protection408PENANAlgdjeYui6l 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA7OGX7ZAa5r
8964 copyright protection408PENANAiZh9CZVyCk 維尼
每天吶,漫無目的地尋找活著的目的,這聽來是多麼荒謬可笑的一件事?就好比買櫝還珠的故事,退卻理應精彩的「人生」,留下找尋目標的「目標」。根本是本末倒置。8964 copyright protection408PENANATzMC4tEi7n 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAYRsCszO21H
8964 copyright protection408PENANA4W30tw3Umy 維尼
要說的話,自己就是一臺食古不化的老式火車,而那柴薪炭火,便是偶爾會出現在公司食堂的那個女孩子。8964 copyright protection408PENANAPBxusY8AIc 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAQHLp9hjtyg
8964 copyright protection408PENANAHAzcrvr6yX 維尼
再是無聊的人,還是會有情感與牽掛。8964 copyright protection408PENANAJmZRObv9qf 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAnrCWBTnzro
8964 copyright protection408PENANApMzolzRBUo 維尼
總是穿著一身雪紡的襯衫和牛仔褲。我曾想過她大概不是這裡的員工,因為她的氣質與這裡散發的憂鬱氣息格格不入。8964 copyright protection408PENANAU6xzN2Qe8j 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAhIpnZiT8lK
8964 copyright protection408PENANA4PsHCWekds 維尼
不是活力的春天的小草,也不是溫暖的冬天的陽光。她就像一縷白月光,淡淡的散發著屬於她的溫柔。8964 copyright protection408PENANAUtOvjYFVkq 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAbKREizT0kd
8964 copyright protection408PENANAvH76UZq9Oe 維尼
這麼說好了,我曾想過各種我們的邂逅。8964 copyright protection408PENANAFzVhjLgBI0 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAYuWJHJG6H8
8964 copyright protection408PENANA1d57elzykp 維尼
「我也很喜歡這音樂。」8964 copyright protection408PENANAAXxK6CCSYP 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAbvsKnVk9KQ
8964 copyright protection408PENANAbSxlizENwM 維尼
「妳看起來有點眼熟。」8964 copyright protection408PENANAnkOeEUKJku 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAeQescNfc6z
8964 copyright protection408PENANAyU4PKUzMHY 維尼
「加個?」8964 copyright protection408PENANA2mgTUFzRDe 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAmwrkulg5IK
8964 copyright protection408PENANAwk6UHmDRjZ 維尼
那些老套的搭訕過於氾濫,但是故意把自己的文件在她面前撒滿一地或者叼片吐司衝進食堂與她相撞似乎又過於刻意。所以一直到半年前她最後一次出現在食堂,我都沒有正式向她介紹自己。8964 copyright protection408PENANAwhAiwshZno 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANANwg8Goq2FU
8964 copyright protection408PENANAihE1q9a9rw 維尼
「奇葩。」我的朋友這麼評價。8964 copyright protection408PENANAKDOBXqgVPd 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAQHMjUP0X8D
8964 copyright protection408PENANAliJ3S3X53V 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAjJzpfaDMvA
8964 copyright protection408PENANAAf1BkKojtS 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAVRY2UpiYku
8964 copyright protection408PENANAQJDoDN1yMD 維尼
寫完報告,已經是一點半的事。8964 copyright protection408PENANAZhlNEpbMIy 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAkWo72AEYUp
8964 copyright protection408PENANA4yZnEPBUEN 維尼
若不是買下了上司強迫推銷的狗狗自動餵食器,說不定我還能勉強找個理由拒絕加班,然後買好我的安眠藥,倒頭睡到天亮。8964 copyright protection408PENANAoBPZvNpICE 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAlnoLFP6jon
8964 copyright protection408PENANAiSYltR9fTB 維尼
全公司只剩下我跟門口的保安。當我走到門口時,他還在看動畫片。8964 copyright protection408PENANAEajbmeFVQ1 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAHTzCQgnEQy
8964 copyright protection408PENANAbclT2JiSO9 維尼
「阿,辛苦了。」心虛地,他一見到疲憊的我,便立即切掉畫面。8964 copyright protection408PENANAQDpvQFJ08f 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAboYNhcLSlX
8964 copyright protection408PENANAQpGv3zM4S9 維尼
「嗯,你也辛苦。」聽我這麼說,他尷尬的笑了笑。8964 copyright protection408PENANAOmQ3xnrCip 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA7sT9S8o3KJ
8964 copyright protection408PENANA0BGctPkuWO 維尼
繼續低頭凝視著緩慢移動的鞋尖,我像是什麼時候都有可能昏厥的沙漠裡求生的人。他們可能還比我好些,至少他們有意識與「活下去」的渴望。而我,一無所有。8964 copyright protection408PENANAv0CCZ7eiVd 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA0RFCy9RTEa
8964 copyright protection408PENANAZ9c2Py9IX1 維尼
一進到車裡的封閉空間,老毛病又犯了。8964 copyright protection408PENANAKLpTY4NCKD 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANACck4XDVbvZ
8964 copyright protection408PENANAfP8ZxjXJUU 維尼
呼吸急促了起來,我緊緊握著發黃的白布料,一股腦的委屈像是洪水般,沖刷著臉頰沉積了一天的灰塵。8964 copyright protection408PENANAPvoedpANxJ 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANANZCLdDO9dR
8964 copyright protection408PENANAVqlgw77nfP 維尼
這持續了好多年。上班、下班、崩潰,已經成了日常。8964 copyright protection408PENANAVC2gYbib3u 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANASDDyGtAonu
8964 copyright protection408PENANAH33n7ZwY9j 維尼
「不用,我不需要看心理醫生。」每次,我都回絕家人。8964 copyright protection408PENANADGUoOUylli 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA0kYQGDd9lo
8964 copyright protection408PENANA5fir91ZRhf 維尼
或許他們的話才是正確的。8964 copyright protection408PENANAHMGC6nxurI 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAHaQspUoPbK
8964 copyright protection408PENANA0mnof7s01j 維尼
我從來不在別人面前展示自己脆弱的一面,但是每到半夜,每到四周無人的地方,隱藏的、積累的那些所有,便即刻傾瀉而出。8964 copyright protection408PENANAptvLH5Xijd 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAhKKkgtn36R
8964 copyright protection408PENANAy4TGXWjIDK 維尼
也曾想過要用安眠藥來解決一切,但就是沒有作用。它只能讓我安穩的睡一覺,即使我吃了一大把。8964 copyright protection408PENANAdxfF01E29t 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA4f6zNmTV18
8964 copyright protection408PENANAxDgX7A7slq 維尼
我希望迎來的是永遠的黑夜,而不是任何一點光芒。8964 copyright protection408PENANAlzoXQy40lq 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAcehQeFSDdZ
8964 copyright protection408PENANAjgVpv80Yv5 維尼
「想想那個女孩,她一定還在世界的某個角落,等著你去追尋阿!」8964 copyright protection408PENANAcEeKbcwjA7 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA5lXNglwhKi
8964 copyright protection408PENANAhB8EabVfD2 維尼
他們這麼勸著動了心思的我,可有時陷得太深了,心理總會扭曲。8964 copyright protection408PENANAofWMDsJrHg 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA7TnPX3r1vs
8964 copyright protection408PENANACkCnK1HmSC 維尼
那個女孩確確實實的從我狹小的眼界蒸發了,留下的,只有現在我手裡的布料。其他的所有,已經融入了身體。8964 copyright protection408PENANAKOL4aIKFSE 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAMwf8yKk55L
8964 copyright protection408PENANAMkAR6BBvRX 維尼
再也不會出現。8964 copyright protection408PENANAO9KLBS5lKd 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAMlb1qk9S2F
8964 copyright protection408PENANAGjP1nXM0QF 維尼
「得不到,那就摧毀。」腦海的話還在盤旋,我多麼希望它可以就這樣停止運作。8964 copyright protection408PENANAXvHWnVyrOw 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAd0CUpTVNum
8964 copyright protection408PENANAT3dWI1eRHB 維尼
憂鬱、卑微、極端……。8964 copyright protection408PENANAwEoj2QXaj2 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA0be1M4rlfj
8964 copyright protection408PENANAN6ZXLcB8lM 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA0vd8SejB1O
8964 copyright protection408PENANAII0aZZxSoq 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA94Yg4pzdSf
8964 copyright protection408PENANARB8Pf9skuU 維尼
「──汪!」8964 copyright protection408PENANAovhRoQlW59 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA9inBF1ir75
8964 copyright protection408PENANAyUjmCoiJ2c 維尼
怎麼到家的,我渾然不知。8964 copyright protection408PENANAnhSq50sopT 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANABGoFtfU2We
8964 copyright protection408PENANARcIJFtKs60 維尼
恢復意識時,自己正處在陽臺的女兒牆邊。8964 copyright protection408PENANAcTkGpyQYhw 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAXrBn9swpjT
8964 copyright protection408PENANAKdcO8BRLcd 維尼
常常這樣,身體會無意識的到這種奇怪的地方。其實說是潛意識也不為過。8964 copyright protection408PENANA5pmtNzogSm 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA6mDoqpClJP
8964 copyright protection408PENANA4RcDIddfT1 維尼
走回房間,我沉默的躺在床上。8964 copyright protection408PENANATM5SpjpvTY 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAKO8ps93iXF
8964 copyright protection408PENANA5vLMIrtlCh 維尼
「這樣下去不是辦法……。」閉上雙眼,襲來的黑暗令我感到寧靜自在,卻沒有絲毫的睡意。8964 copyright protection408PENANA5JRoEM15jG 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAsZPv70QPSS
8964 copyright protection408PENANAoUaRdotvaG 維尼
有時會回顧自己的人生,不是跑馬燈的那種,我只會挑那些快樂的片段,但卻發現只要幾秒鐘,便再也想不到什麼玩味的事,大多都被憂鬱給沖淡了。8964 copyright protection408PENANAwE3IfIF3yU 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAbEonXqobEw
8964 copyright protection408PENANAQNqF8fjE51 維尼
就好比上帝給你觀看人生的預告片,往往只會剪些精彩的,而不會挑這種乏味的。而電影的預告片,頂多也就占了兩小時裡的兩、三分鐘。8964 copyright protection408PENANAmAKf4fXfHM 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAO1FjW3Kt2j
8964 copyright protection408PENANA6t9FLJnD5Y 維尼
我想當初自己被騙入人間的時候,肯定是腦子抽了。8964 copyright protection408PENANAfwDwBC8Uu8 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA3E4QI3ns9J
8964 copyright protection408PENANAREeTweR2mk 維尼
「還挺嚮往別人的生活的,瞅著那麼多采多姿。」這種想法常常徘徊在腦子裡頭,可每當我這麼想,那詭異的話便又會響起。8964 copyright protection408PENANAwx14jcr9cM 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAqKkPMrLF59
8964 copyright protection408PENANACf6SMitfVb 維尼
「得不到,那就摧毀。」8964 copyright protection408PENANA2JMeXtdLym 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA78wG0cbNt0
8964 copyright protection408PENANAV8NIWzaDpL 維尼
是阿,第11682天了,還是找不到人生精彩的地方。8964 copyright protection408PENANAwWGnlgakdV 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAQrNDKZXVRx
8964 copyright protection408PENANATGK3yus4hR 維尼
就跟連載小說的作家一樣,靈感有爆棚的時候,也有枯竭的時候。但選擇硬著頭皮,還是直接放棄,都是作家本身的選擇。8964 copyright protection408PENANAuUe3sLwaB6 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAFDbiUW5HQq
8964 copyright protection408PENANACZt4Ks3VcK 維尼
我是後者。8964 copyright protection408PENANA4ofq8uNe4Q 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAUlXI1WT6bP
8964 copyright protection408PENANArUNKm5no2G 維尼
應該說,撐得久了,還是難以駕馭的話,那我就會選擇放手。8964 copyright protection408PENANAGhMeAiqQKI 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAPkZv28TEHF
8964 copyright protection408PENANABb9JjAgvIg 維尼
責任感什麼的,還是比不過壓力。8964 copyright protection408PENANAzE27IocJWE 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAo2yqmeJlY6
8964 copyright protection408PENANAvwr7sEXSHu 維尼
讓我動了心思的最大契機,或許還是刻入骨髓的憂鬱人格。8964 copyright protection408PENANA8KCf1mGnZF 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANANKSmFVwUFW
8964 copyright protection408PENANAWajVssMg7z 維尼
「哈奇,過來吧。」8964 copyright protection408PENANAZUhY7PYyaQ 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAmkPgX4t1k1
8964 copyright protection408PENANAIdBPEpfXCG 維尼
抱著親暱的牠,心裡還是感到了不捨。若要說有什麼牽掛,那也只有牠了。8964 copyright protection408PENANAqKHXcdeWBb 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAf7jw7va6VZ
8964 copyright protection408PENANAdwhqHNbncX 維尼
「對不起,真的對不起……。」明明都決定好了,但還是崩潰了一場。8964 copyright protection408PENANAsJczi5PlUN 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAu4NCSVpi64
8964 copyright protection408PENANAKu1rMc46aS 維尼
臉頰被舔了舔,可淚水洩洪的速度仍是超越了牠的安慰。8964 copyright protection408PENANAJ0fIBGia0p 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAI9yhLhNoeu
8964 copyright protection408PENANAVkK8PdNK0l 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAC3CK2ntm7E
8964 copyright protection408PENANAAl0PiaeSh6 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAi8zadnVGJE
8964 copyright protection408PENANAXiIuBthOvu 維尼
在平息下來後,心裡的漣漪逐漸重歸於寂,最後成了一片沒有情緒的汪洋。8964 copyright protection408PENANAw9WeWj39Bh 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAi9FZ9M3WTA
8964 copyright protection408PENANAdJGSnanjF6 維尼
「就這樣了吧。」摸了摸哈奇的頭,我餵了牠最後一次飼料。8964 copyright protection408PENANAGJRP0gxWHz 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAS9MnuPvWhe
8964 copyright protection408PENANAPwVrFNt339 維尼
泡了人生最後一杯黑美式,我從抽屜最底層找出了半年前用剩的藥──只要一點點,便足夠了──全部倒入了咖啡之中。8964 copyright protection408PENANA2wDQ599Jqr 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA9yFpfDw3sH
8964 copyright protection408PENANATyW90Cnczx 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA2ygqsNNmF4
8964 copyright protection408PENANAuOREAX2CWL 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA2M9HM94X1m
8964 copyright protection408PENANAvVCq5MyQg8 維尼
今日的朝陽將會成為人生的餘暉,陪我共度的,只有養了七年的狗,與體內的她。8964 copyright protection408PENANAUAEeBTeZKf 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAsIg43fdYkv
8964 copyright protection408PENANAltjWZOzOaz 維尼
也算是很圓滿了呢。8964 copyright protection408PENANAwLt47SyxCM 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAF6y2Q5AsYh
8964 copyright protection408PENANAKUYeSmzCHz 維尼
當天空染上魚肚白的剎那,我的眼界,染成了咖啡的濃黑。8964 copyright protection408PENANAy6056JtkE2 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANALJLz1qeZgI
8964 copyright protection408PENANApU6BmRRDir 維尼
「得不到,那就摧毀。」我的人生的意義也是這樣。8964 copyright protection408PENANAAbhcTgG1FX 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA1xgahNfpyB
8964 copyright protection408PENANAb5SSlGZ4rD 維尼
黑暗帶來的愉悅無法超越身體所承受的痛苦。8964 copyright protection408PENANAj8fOT3PuBw 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANAXoqnGA1qmG
8964 copyright protection408PENANAWjbx4AEUVn 維尼
但是至少,最後一刻,我是開心的──8964 copyright protection408PENANA9d20yxM2yf 維尼
412Please respect copyright.PENANA6Hl2iq31iq
8964 copyright protection408PENANAM4ofpU4Dep 維尼
172.70.100.184
ns 172.70.100.184da2