Begin a new part here…
The beginning for me is still very hazy I mean I was a mere child but what we see as a child pretty much stays with us either consciously or not. We have the bloody emotions in our body that when things trigger those deep dark submerged memory its kind of shocks you to the core. Well in my case it does. Meet adoptee one and two. The two of the lucky ones. The ones that made it out of that place to the new shores of new beginnings. And that’s where I seem to stop. I mean I never seem to make it to the next step before it all goes out.
Arggghhh.
Sitting up I realise that I'm dripping. I'm drenched with sweat and my sheets are wet but I didn't wet the bed this time. No this nightmare was different. There was a different feel about this dream, normally I can make out a few features but tonight, nothing. Strange. I go to check my sister, I outwardly groan its so early my god I can’t see anything but I hear her soft snores and groans so I know she’s still under in bliss as I’m god damn wide awake. I know that there’s no chance for sleep again so I wonder around our room, slyly picking up the torch and grab a picture book, trying to be discreate and quite closing the draw. Laughing at my own joke hahaha me and quietly in the same sentence. On my hands and knobby little knees with my Disney princess torch in my mouth and my favourite picture book under my arm I’m back in bed and warm again at last.
Maybe I was a weird kid by I loved the feeling of being under the covers reading its got its own magic to it, but it might be because I’m scared of the dark. Bone snakingly, panic filled, paralyzingly scared. There is also the added facts of I’m only five and I came from a huge, vast, beautiful and scary country that is known as India. I have always been terrified of the dark not because of anything other then the people that are hiding, just waiting until I am left alone for long enough for their monstrous hands to go around my mouth and stomach pulling me apart from all I know and most importantly my little sister. The only part of my ex country I can and will accept. She is everything and more.
Oh that reminds me… I pop my head up from under the covers and check on her, although checking this time doesn’t warrant my leaving my comfy bed nor walking in the dark to her. I mean I love her but then again, I don’t want to be frightened twice in one night. I listen. I’m listening. And listening. Nothing why am I not hearing anything. This get me into a panic but before I can get my thoughts together in my spinning mind and the sound of my heart beating in my eardrums. There it is. Oh thank the lords, argh this kid is going to kill me before I even get to see my teens. In saying that though, there’s no one quite like my sister. And I do say that in and on different levels. Those of you who have siblings know what I’m talking about.
ns 172.70.131.180da2
and then Add to home screen.