I Wish...

I wish I was a beauty for all the world to see;

To be gorgeous, to be perfect is what I want to be.

So he would finally notice just me – only me.

Always pining, always loving no one else but he.

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Instead I am painfully plain, and immensely ugly;

Nothing remarkable, not even a little extraordinary.

Deep inside, he would never notice me –

Never see me pining, never see me loving only he.

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I wish I was thinner with curves in all the right places;

To be sexy, to be alluring, like all those lucky aces.

Then I would show him and those pretty faces,

That someone like me could definitely go to places.

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Instead I am big – a big blob of fat;

Far from being sexy, less alluring than a common rat.

Most of the time, I fear his handsome face,

For I am an embarrassment, a shame of the race.

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I wish I was a woman to fit with him perfectly;

To be loved, to be cared for, and all those sweet things daily.

That he may say I am his so proudly;

Which I will answer, ‘I am yours truly, yours only’.

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Instead I am a man, hopelessly in love with him;

Yearning for his love, yearning for him – always him.

But he will never be mine, just as he wouldn’t love me.

I am, after all, a freak of nature, the worst that can be.

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I wish I could die, cut my life away.

I will do it in a heartbeat, if that is the only way,

For him to see finally me – only me:

Always yearning, always loving him until eternity.

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Instead, I continue on with this living:

Always wishing, only wishing – like a circle, never ending.

I guess, loving him from a distance will be my everything.

He, after all, was, am, and will always be my sweetest undoing.

Any thoughts?

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