與外表看起來真的很痛苦時相較,反倒是旁人看來表現得朝氣篷勃時,存在於本人內在的悲哀才更加的深沉,這就是所謂的人類吶。330Please respect copyright.PENANAcNmFuTyXnZ
《瀕死之眼》- 東野圭吾
碰——330Please respect copyright.PENANA00PhBYZPd2
330Please respect copyright.PENANA8MTwUX5Ppv
朴成浩雙手抓住籃球,使勁地把球垂直往地面擲去﹔在籃球往地面彈起,準備再度落地的瞬間,在成浩附近的許俊赫躍起,一記旋踢把球踢向遠處的牆上,發出響亮的「噗嗵」聲——今晚,俊赫約了學弟成浩到南園方高中附近的公共球場練習,除了成浩切磋球技,也順便依對方的意思,教一下「踢功」。330Please respect copyright.PENANAmpfXUI5yNo
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自從他被人襲擊之後,已經很久沒有好好做運動舒展一下,出一身汗了。330Please respect copyright.PENANA2AdVygvvCe
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看着被他踢飛後回彈的籃球,學弟成浩飛快把球接回來,再跑回到俊赫的身邊:「哇……哥,你剛才那動作會不會太帥了啦?」成浩拍動籃球,邊對他如此說,「你是怎麼辦到的啊?」接着成浩再度把籃球往地面用力擲去,想學俊赫那樣把球給踢飛。330Please respect copyright.PENANAbJm2nk7y5g
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只是成浩沒踢到球,他的腳尖卻差那麼丁點踢到已經退後數步的俊赫。330Please respect copyright.PENANAWslR68D0n1
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所幸的是俊赫反應夠快,及時跳開躲過:「嚇死我,你給我當心點啊!」330Please respect copyright.PENANASjpyIEV1PF
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「好難啊!」330Please respect copyright.PENANAgCtHpUVoXg
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「你還是找個『拳擊球』安在房間裡,自己在家好好練吧? 哎喲……」俊赫不停搖頭,雙腳則往球場的出口走去。330Please respect copyright.PENANAyRCrWbHI34
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「哥,你這是去哪裡?」330Please respect copyright.PENANA2zJ3Nq0ZQO
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「找我今天的晚餐!」330Please respect copyright.PENANAcPsJqDkWdM
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俊赫跟學弟成浩經過多間食肆,最後兩人決定到連鎖的快餐店解決晚餐問題﹔他選擇好自己「潛艇堡」的材料後,便走開尋找座位方便兩個人坐下來用餐,由成浩到櫃台點餐。晚上時段快餐店人流量不算多,也沒多少人排隊點餐付款,成浩這小子點完餐還守在櫃台那裡一段時間,收銀員是認識的人嗎——坐在位子上的俊赫因為無聊,沒忍住觀察了起來。330Please respect copyright.PENANAXVcjQROohi
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不過看收銀小妹的表情,似乎兩人的關係不怎樣啊?330Please respect copyright.PENANAcVXrcFIucV
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對方的嘴型看來像是叫成浩別阻礙她工作的樣子。330Please respect copyright.PENANAQKAyd5WzVy
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誰說當男的就不可以「八」的?330Please respect copyright.PENANAsDRP0b6wTw
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成浩拿着收據回來的時候,俊赫便立即問起來了:「你跟那收銀小妹認識嗎?」330Please respect copyright.PENANAstcO4MaRbC
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「哦,校裡女子籃隊的隊員,也是我班裡的女生。」330Please respect copyright.PENANAe1nLWcydMj
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俊赫若有所思點着頭:「可是看起來你不怎麼討人喜歡欸?」330Please respect copyright.PENANAmcFZ7P4jt7
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「因為我問她可不可以給我們員工價,她死都不肯給。」330Please respect copyright.PENANA2rzC2aUfpZ
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「小子,你以為自己是誰啦?」俊赫笑道。330Please respect copyright.PENANAFMLRMkTCZo
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他拿走那張收據,看了下自己那份的價錢便準備拿錢包出來還債,沒想到的是這舉動反而讓成浩對他側目:「哥,你想幹嘛?」330Please respect copyright.PENANArCRYyKIM0Y
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「還你錢啊。怎麼了?」330Please respect copyright.PENANAIt8LZwFPN0
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「不用啦! 這頓算我的吧? 那次之後我都沒親自請哥吃飯,況且今晚又是我約你出來的。」330Please respect copyright.PENANALktLLST4vn
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俊赫眨了好一陣子眼,才默默把自己錢包塞回褲袋裡。原來是因為這樣才跟那女孩吵着要員工價啊? 他心想,不過這快餐店的食物定價學生們應該負擔得起……在他東想西想的時候,成浩已經跑到取餐點拿他們的「潛艇堡」,回來準備開吃。330Please respect copyright.PENANAFccJZ3yAZw
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因為餓,俊赫沒太理會儀態撕開它的包裝紙,大口地啃掉一部分,然後看着兩塊麵包之間的材料,他愣了起來:「成浩啊……現在這家快餐店給的量都那麼足嗎?」俊赫充滿疑問把手上的三明治橫切面遞給成浩看。330Please respect copyright.PENANAjxQLahQLAx
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學弟頓時不滿把自己的那份甩到桌上:「哇,真是的。她死不肯給我員工價也算了,還只把哥那份塞得滿滿的。哇——俊赫哥,以後還是你去點餐好了﹔不對,以後我還是少點跟你一起行動好了,這樣下去我的自尊會給你弄到一條毛都不剩的。」330Please respect copyright.PENANARpz9VveRkS
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「有那麼誇張嗎?」俊赫看了下成浩的那份,確實自己的那份量比較多。330Please respect copyright.PENANAd9ATueYuaw
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兩人不約而同望向在櫃台的那位女生。俊赫不是真傻,他看得出來那女生是在偷看自己。330Please respect copyright.PENANAobos92b6pU
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可是這種情況裝傻比較安全。所以他沒接話,靜靜啃自己那份潛艇堡。330Please respect copyright.PENANApU6qn5Mxkl
330Please respect copyright.PENANA38VykPw7s6
沒有男生不想成為女孩們的焦點,不過也總有一些人沒刻意做太多的事情,就贏得了女孩們的注意,就像現在坐在自己面前的俊赫哥——學弟朴成浩一邊嘴嚼自己的潛艇堡,眼睛一直盯着自己的學長看。330Please respect copyright.PENANAf85xY6CFJ9
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他認識了這位哥們那麼久,沒有怎見過對方主動接觸一些女生或是女士,就算會,那也只是友善的寒暄﹔這個人寒暄純粹只是為了跟大家打好關係,可是在異性的眼中卻是種窩心的行為。即使那些對這名學長感興趣的女孩主動接近,這位大哥哥還是會默默為彼此保持一段距離。330Please respect copyright.PENANAvWX5Pd3UHm
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是因為那張可以跟電視上男藝人扛上的臉蛋嗎? 所以才敢這樣對待那些熱情的女孩們嗎?330Please respect copyright.PENANAiO2yOOPQrm
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也不對啊? 去年他們私下策劃的派對上,這位大哥調皮到把一個女生哭了,他明明跟那女生不怎麼熟,可就像哄女朋友那樣抱在懷裡跟對方道歉,想安撫人家不要再哭。哇,光想起那個場境,成浩雞皮疙痂起來。他不明白俊赫是怎樣辦到的,更不明白為什麼對方沒有女友。330Please respect copyright.PENANArjIJW89e11
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「俊赫哥。」330Please respect copyright.PENANAq6DCt2HwBa
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「這個真的很好吃。」俊赫用拇指把嘴角沾上的醬汁擦掉。330Please respect copyright.PENANABnyOXGHJOs
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成浩想都沒想劈頭就問:「你有女朋友嗎?」這害嘴裡還有東西的俊赫差點嗆死。330Please respect copyright.PENANAhD3Mxff1D8
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「咳! 你這孩子怎麼突然問這個。」330Please respect copyright.PENANA9W1nmRNbIA
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「因為我怎麼想都想不通啊?」成浩把雙手形成手刀,在空氣中上下比劃着俊赫的輪廓,「像哥這樣的人,怎麼可能一天到晚就只有下班、吃飯、睡覺跟上班這四項啊? 總該有個女朋友吧?」330Please respect copyright.PENANArZ7MyBigI1
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俊赫很快就把自己的那份吃完:「五項,你忘了把上廁所給算進去。」他拿起飲料喝了起來,「稍等,不對耶……還有洗澡——」他舉起左手指頭很認真地在數自己的作息活動總項。330Please respect copyright.PENANAEvYWj8RAeF
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「哥甭想把話題跑歪,我可不會上當哦。」330Please respect copyright.PENANARV1CBwi022
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呿。俊赫別開頭擺出不爽的神情,接着語氣懶散說道:「沒有。因為太麻煩。」330Please respect copyright.PENANAhiLnvAv1B8
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「騙子。」330Please respect copyright.PENANAd8S1BgSHmJ
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「閉嘴。」他拿着汽水的手伸出食指,指着成浩的臉:「看少點電視劇什麼的吧? 男女關係沒裡頭說得那麼簡單,不是說︰呀,看對眼了,上啊! 一起了有空送個禮物哄哄,某些日子給對方一個驚喜就行的。現實比劇本還出彩更麻煩,所以那些編劇才靈感綿延不絕。」330Please respect copyright.PENANAYkMkmvIUQU
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「但……維持一段關係不是要這樣子嗎?」330Please respect copyright.PENANAlzCYewjzfu
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聽着成浩的反應俊赫快想拿起還剩半杯的汽水敲下去,最後當然是忍住了。330Please respect copyright.PENANANH4H55uyz0
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「哎喲。最重要的是心啦! 心!」330Please respect copyright.PENANAPNSSMAvCXt
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「所以俊赫哥是有過女朋友吧? 對吧?」330Please respect copyright.PENANALtj51RJSIs
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他翻起白眼,這種話題不管是男是女一放到桌面上,就會沒完沒了:「你哥今年幾歲了? 反正就是沒遇上對的人……總之現在我也沒興趣想這些,一切隨緣吧?」俊赫咬着吸管,雙眼望向快餐店外街道發呆。330Please respect copyright.PENANAFb02gx88DM
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沒有經歷過愛情洗刷的成浩皺着眉頭看他:「我突然覺得喜歡哥的那些女生好可憐。」330Please respect copyright.PENANArVU5a6F1FY
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「要你管。」330Please respect copyright.PENANAOdUBadHHrF
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「對了,哥不是說那次救了你的小姐住在你樓下嗎? 後來怎樣了?」330Please respect copyright.PENANAwxbgKZfrRF
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他該怎麼對成浩這個孩子說呢? 以現在這個情況提起這件事,這小子會想太多吧?330Please respect copyright.PENANALOWFARrdwO
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俊赫眼睛左右滑溜,細想一會如此說:「也沒什麼,我有時拿一些東西謝謝她,跟對方一起吃過一次宵夜這樣。前陣子是因為太閒我請她晚上到家來陪自己看套電影,沒什麼。」330Please respect copyright.PENANAIQSchd5SrT
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成浩看着自己這位學長,兩側眉毛挑了起來。330Please respect copyright.PENANAARtl5r5kgO
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可是當事人沒有注意到成浩的表情,正忘我地打開了汽水紙杯上的膠蓋,把剩下的汽水跟冰塊送進嘴裡:「她對我說自己叫『妮娜』,在我那情況下還能保持冷靜的原因是以前當警察的,知道那種情況下自己需要做些什麼。我問她為什麼沒再當差,她卻說因為那份工作不適合自己,所以離職了。」330Please respect copyright.PENANAxioiP2dULr
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俊赫一邊說,一邊心裡在想搞不好對方那套說辭,也是用來糊弄他的﹔就像她至今都沒打算告訴自己的名字叫「秀亞」一樣。今晚他出門之前想把買多了的養生飲料放到對方門前時,遇到個認識「妮娜」的女孩,說住在那裡的女人是她的「秀亞姐」。330Please respect copyright.PENANAYlYdjqzWAz
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不過,他哪有資格去氣對方沒坦白呢? 自己又不是人家的什麼人,只是個好命得到對方幫助的鄰居而已。或許,對方真的有一個暱稱叫妮娜,並沒有故意隱瞞他。330Please respect copyright.PENANAvKQ3qTdafk
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俊赫知道自己該那麼想,只是發現這件事的時候,他多少感到失落。330Please respect copyright.PENANAMMuGokQfU3
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因為自己沒有得到同等的對待而感到難過。他可是對她問自己的問題老實回答的啊?330Please respect copyright.PENANA102r3nVP0N
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啊,俊赫光回想起這件事就覺得鬱悶。330Please respect copyright.PENANAxoKgAKj8C2
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話說回來,他今天碰見的那女孩好像是叫尹依吧? 不知道那孩子等到她姐沒有……330Please respect copyright.PENANAjheC8mX402
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「給我等一下。」成浩雙手抱在胸前盯着自己學長:「俊赫哥,你剛說的是……你,約對方到你家裡,陪你看電影? 並不是約人家到電影院裡看這樣子嗎?」330Please respect copyright.PENANA9WkQHRNcq8
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「嗯。」330Please respect copyright.PENANA4UxTh7o2IQ
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「那之後呢?」330Please respect copyright.PENANAzLkgu8PHwj
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「我就直接送人家回自己的單位,再回家啊? 這又怎麼了?」俊赫想了下,發現哪裡不對勁,再道,「不對,你把哥當成是什麼人了?」330Please respect copyright.PENANAzbnwiIoMz2
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「哥! 你再遲鈍也得有個譜啊?!」330Please respect copyright.PENANAXfdBJbAxmW
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俊赫只是呆坐在那裡,快速眨動着眼睛。330Please respect copyright.PENANATJrBpCHMOr
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這害得成浩當下抓狂到想捉住這位大哥瘋狂搖晃了:「就算我再不懂事也知道女生不會隨便上自己沒好感的男生家裡吧?! 大爺! 你剛說的是晚上耶!」330Please respect copyright.PENANAvcjmLJ4oNw
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「那只是日常的消閒活動啊? 要是像你腦子想的那樣,我有動歪腦子,人家學過自衛技巧,你哥會反過來被壓制到『呀呀』大叫而已。」330Please respect copyright.PENANAK3nGG6Bzsc
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「哇,哥也太沒眼力了。」成浩難以置信地搖頭,「那哥幹嘛突然想約人家到家裡看電影啦? 論閒我不是更閒麼?」330Please respect copyright.PENANAcJFAhECPmu
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欸——對耶。330Please respect copyright.PENANAuLipKSLSCW
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俊赫恍然大悟看着成浩:「嘻嘻……為何我就沒想到你咧?」330Please respect copyright.PENANAsybpkBaORA
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兩人隔着張桌子瞇眼對視了很久,似乎誰都不想先開口破解這僵局。330Please respect copyright.PENANAESbHczxwz0
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可惜,好聚好散是俊赫的作風。330Please respect copyright.PENANAZmpvHCDgik
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「成浩啊?」330Please respect copyright.PENANAxfqvEYpTsK
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「嗯?」330Please respect copyright.PENANAfBzTFBPrOy
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俊赫用像哄五歲小孩的口吻問學弟:「時間不早了,媽媽會擔心你的,要哥哥送你回家嗎?」330Please respect copyright.PENANAclrm7YgYWV
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「噁心。」330Please respect copyright.PENANAVxSbfhiAle
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想也知道,學弟朴成浩是不需要他送回家。兩人在連鎖快餐店分道揚鑣後,俊赫也沒有馬上乘車回家,因為在他等公交車的時候,收到自己不想看到的短信﹔那便是他母親發來跟自己要生活費的文字訊息,發來的時間不定,就看他母親有多缺零用錢。330Please respect copyright.PENANASRj1EIxC9y
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以免每次檢視短信時會難過,一般俊赫在已讀後就會刪除它。330Please respect copyright.PENANAHRJzDmdjPV
330Please respect copyright.PENANA8tC6UqjdEB
只是這一次對方向他討的不光是生活費,還有他同母異父的妹妹大學學費。330Please respect copyright.PENANA8VVJ27ld5C
330Please respect copyright.PENANAZNypkKVQhB
即使俊赫再有儲蓄習慣,這筆開支也令他甚感吃力。330Please respect copyright.PENANAD36FwOmni5
330Please respect copyright.PENANAKAf5kTtAlN
「給我一句『注意身體』也好啊?」330Please respect copyright.PENANALqCOTX9DmT
330Please respect copyright.PENANALFKCT4A0vm
都知道自己之前發生這樣的事情了,一句問候都沒有,跟往常一樣只想跟他要錢嗎? 真的是冷酷無情啊? 他只要一句關心的話就行了,不是真心的都可以,只是哄他也行,為何就那麼一句話都不給他呢——俊赫漫無目的在街上行走,因為認得回家的路,他就打算這樣子走回公寓。330Please respect copyright.PENANAZ5PrSZ4WSj
330Please respect copyright.PENANACRBADBe5Q5
無奈的是俊赫多努力想讓路上的人和事帶走自己的思緒,他內心裡的痛都提醒着自己母親有多無情。330Please respect copyright.PENANAUGHv9yoSFB
330Please respect copyright.PENANAXkf5v0Nk6g
——我不是已經努力滿足每個人的要求了嗎? 為何只是想要一句話都那麼難呢?330Please respect copyright.PENANAOAjxWxhyop
330Please respect copyright.PENANASArI1VgOvd
經過便利店他買了幾瓶燒酒用來當「助眠劑」。330Please respect copyright.PENANAp9oCaR7kTg
330Please respect copyright.PENANAyGg2sCYA2Q
今晚俊赫沒有跟成浩說的是……出門之前他讓知道妮娜本名的女孩留在家裡,因為他知道自己的這位女鄰居回家時間都很晚,所以不想一個女孩子在那空間裡待太久,就讓那個叫尹依的女孩待在他家裡等妮娜回來。330Please respect copyright.PENANA6lExaJ7FVV
330Please respect copyright.PENANAi1vfaASgdR
真是的,自己還該稱呼對方「妮娜」嗎?330Please respect copyright.PENANAhyT2HzSe00
330Please respect copyright.PENANA00Hyhr96f5
當他到家的時候那叫尹依的女孩已經離開了,亦很有禮貌地跟他留了紙條,感謝他願意讓她待在家裡等「秀亞姐」回來,而且留了一塊蛋糕在冰箱裡作為謝禮。330Please respect copyright.PENANA2OknvCV4j2
330Please respect copyright.PENANAo5DOHoYFfk
不,若然對方不想他知道的話,還是裝作不知道吧?330Please respect copyright.PENANAoCaqzNs6ed
330Please respect copyright.PENANAUt0cLzdMuq
洗完澡後的俊赫邊喝着燒酒,邊坐在床上用手機觀看那些逗趣的短片。330Please respect copyright.PENANA5gLUouqbCo
330Please respect copyright.PENANAjrn8SljJb5
在濃烈的睡意帶走他之前,只想起那晚跟她看完電影後,對方問他的那句話。330Please respect copyright.PENANANZ2MEfkJ2G
330Please respect copyright.PENANAW57CUcux0Q
330Please respect copyright.PENANAFqRs5LA1G6
——那我們這位愛笑的許俊赫先生,找到了自己人生意義了嗎?330Please respect copyright.PENANAyn2Kd5Honj
330Please respect copyright.PENANA9b7uTsEFDr
330Please respect copyright.PENANAwm6YgUFoZt
哈,無法回答。