如果讀者喜歡此故事，希望你能正評+留言，或到penana點「喜歡」，謝謝你的支持！376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZrpPHZyWjv
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaALwqOs0qC
https://www.penana.com/story/59387/勵志-命運的顏色-一個書寫障礙患者的故事376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqkHoEnvef
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKM0pTnTgu9
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzQKDpz5lof
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgxisq4L9Ad
147章 - 不應該有的空閒376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WpCanJnML
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CWMILUSHv
兩年多過去，我一直沒有全職工作，沒有跟半個朋友來往，過著封閉式生活。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRGQi0M7Br7
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzd32JFP4dY
今天運動完了，我回到家裡，一如以往空無一人、昏暗的大廳，洗好澡，打算推開房門的時候，聽到身後另一道房門拉開了。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVbfhWwppz
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcrXdrclAt6
「程，回來了嗎？」老爸說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwxtRWd30e
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyME9dzCN97
老爸數年前動過手術，幸運地，他的康復進度良好。數年過去了，傷口雖然還會隱隱作痛，老爸按時吃藥，依照醫生的指示，身體已沒大礙。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWMBU1cG8LI
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbNm1elwld
從前老爸是夜班司機，大病之後沒有上夜班了。不言敗的他，總是希望重投職場，以較低薪水重操故業，當兼職日班私人司機，每星期上班三天，其他時間在家裡休息。據老爸說，他的體力能應付工作需要，老媽當然想老爸以身體作為首要考慮，但是考慮到終點是希望老爸走出疾病的陰霾，所以放任醫學上失去工作能力的老爸繼續工作。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlK4oW09a3z
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjeNAbfkLHB
一個秋日的午後，今天老爸不用上班。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZF9QnPxTgF
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFEbRhoJam
「嗯。」我說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Maft1cV2C
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAZv5XTCJo
難道這個衣裝要出去嗎？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvS6QhUJ30A
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34bX8bV8wZ
「吃了飯沒有，要做飯給你吃嗎？」老爸說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPc1JzuQ1H
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlw052NglV
「不…不用了，已經吃了。」我說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCw4MYQGqKj
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4OCt3ga7i
「有空聊一下嗎？」老爸扶著牆壁，坐到沙發說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbq7x7dn1DJ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrO4HkKgiTB
「…」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBfQPyqEOS
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ6UjT2toww
突然要聊天，總覺得不會是甚麼好事。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGnpyPYYJd
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9TtRVQcQb
我倒了杯熱茶給老爸，坐到了老爸身旁，心裡準備好迎接老爸的訓斥。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4iawHaEzZb
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsa4shI1PjD
我稍稍察看老爸的臉，他是一張仁慈的臉。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWwbWMafQP
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oCgyiQ7pZ
「今天沒有補習嗎？」老爸說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpwAFwD2kB
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGORbGthnS
「有啊，晚上有一個學生。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Lg4ckCISY
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnrL2gYPNe
「不用等你吃飯了？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlLlRc2HlX
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0kFc7BTNR
「我吃了飯再出去。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfnBmI9ETxO
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59Fz3HXil1
「收入…還好嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvo3woUbt8x
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmH5N5ydDzN
兩年了，沒有全職工作的事實，家人當然知道，以前我跟他們說︰「我的開支會自理」，老爸老媽竟然沒有反對，光哥…自中學以後就不再管我的事了，所以沒人阻止我的決定。我一直依靠補習那份不高不低的收入過活，其他時間不斷做戶外運動和在房間做訓練，希望終有一天能打開那個「開關」，離開發展協調障礙這個問題。但時至今天，問題依然持續。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDIjOsG2xgu
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4oA6v3Piz
「嗯。」我馬虎回答。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMV3We2gCU
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJ79ibzvuf
「不夠花的話我給你一點？」老爸說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhEse7RhLf
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGEsbWxuwh
因為光哥的工程公司經營理想，他不時給一大把鈔票作為家用，感覺是送錢給父母的孝子，老爸老媽見到我的情況，不時問我錢夠不夠花，總是被我拒絕。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ixptN9fCc
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0Fu9HwMHq
「不用了，我還可以，老爸你把錢儲起來吧。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ75P7Kiw42L
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDV4Yp9xRlt
路是自己挑的，到死，都要把路走完，為自己的決定負責。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWmJh7JiuH
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4l9Iqh3xd
「想關心一下你的情況，可以嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPupLlhjup
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9H7iOsZVpl
你的身份是父親，沒有甚麼可以不可以啊，否定我的決定也是有道理的。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiq6ZllZi7v
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubjtt1kK5r
「程你…真的沒打算找全職工作嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NanJJOigt
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3swoqJRAym
「…」我盯著屋內的一角，思考怎樣回答。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoZjkDRXjFl
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SmW4k6aSc
「雖然錢方面你現在不成問題，但是長久下去，人的擔子愈來愈大，我們幫不了多少啊。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf9Q7umUyE7
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Y0ZGiCdmb
作為補習老師，時薪升幅不算理想，最理想方法是多找幾個學生，這樣就犧牲時間，跟我的主要目標相違背。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4AooGLsYf
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgLLl2cv084
「你爸我，知道你不是沒有工作的心，你每天都有去上班，幹自己喜歡的事，沒有問我們要過半毛錢，這些我們是知道的，但是你的情況，我們開始擔心了。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrb9bQ3q6Y7
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIA6MSKZOO
要是老爸來硬的，我一定頂嘴，但是他用柔和的方式說這些話，我反駁不了，準確點說是「不忍心反駁」...376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbtIeOrwoS
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jS5i63t94
「喜歡教學生，為甚麼不當全職補習老師？我朋友的女兒就是補習老師，這樣工作會穩定一點吧？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1uG6cw78cq
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbU5IuaT02
我不是沒有想過當全職補習老師...全職就沒有時間了。我選擇維持這個狀態是希望找到更多時間，為身上的機能病找到答案，我深信自己能辦到，所以從來沒有放棄過，也沒有放棄過自己...376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eDAWQ6nd3
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWEQ83m5W8
這兩年裡，我不斷嘗試以前聽過的疑似答案，早就試過但沒甚麼治效、物理治療師的治療指示，還有白先生說的運動治療法，每天抽很多時間反覆做過無數次測試、鍛鍊，甚至中學確診之前被我否定了的方向也重新跑了一遍，有開倒車的感覺，但事實是︰所有都不像是答案，手部活動能力沒有突破性的改善...天啊...376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsf0YXrHM9o
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VxNVQJET2
可能，我對自己是個「不正常的人」這個自我定位耿耿於懷，不想被別人標籤，也不想接受這個事實，所以才花費無數時間想要治好這個病。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaXdkd5k4HZ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRzTdMeOzVW
念念不忘，結果白花了兩年。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfWBMubdCm
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOTwjykyrx
值得為一個旁人看來只是小問題的病花掉青春黃金期的兩年嗎？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyLtWZnT8G
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWForIQzsFb
我想沒有經歷過這類病症的人，是不會明白我的痛苦。這個想法，從中學開始我已經抱持著。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHUbbzT6VF
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNd2jDV2mnb
即使是經歷過這種苦的白先生，也不太明白我的痛苦。他憑自己的其他優秀條件，成功找到其他類別的工作，他還「幸運地」解決了抄寫的問題，成就非凡。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuF79kurHDu
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpqTcmo21r
一將功成，萬骨枯。有多少同病相連的畢業生被這個病折騰得死來活去，迷失在時間的洪流之中？難道失敗者會站出來分享失敗的經驗嗎？從來只有成功者有資格搞分享會，讓所有人看成功者美輪美奐的一面。於我而言，我覺得失敗者也值得搞自己的分享會，前車之轍，可以借鑒，但是世界價值觀否定了我的想法，我一直找不到經驗分享，不論是生活周遭，還是越洋到世界彼端的網絡世界。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEA7p6IRjl
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMj4E0dvVz
「…」我好像有甚麼難言之隱似的，純粹低下頭。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAowfOvFVy6
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZna179277
「有甚麼事想要做嗎？」老爸說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVI4F1UVNVl
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFxNLiC7jm
我微微點頭。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KxNl0hY0M
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8o5BdLeJKC
「是不是那個...甚麼病？」老爸問。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcXJ6drGdI
    376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSj3J1bG6Te
原來老爸還記得我有這個問題。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ74e8zhgewQ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRIfrGySTJ
我又微微點頭。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPHlHWx4vy
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGovC0DR0Ri
「你爸我，還有你媽，唸書真的不多，不知道你發生了甚麼事，但是人的時間是有限的，你看我和你媽，臉上皺紋跟頭髮一樣多，不要留下後悔啊。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqar8vgfXAZ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1YwRdV9mI
不要留下後悔…376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywhA0fx7er
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW6PyQSU9kn
其實我現在做的事就是為了不留下後悔，但好像在製造另一個後悔…我開始搞不清了。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBs5qefC3Zc
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnYCUVVeAGd
「聊別的吧。光快要結婚了，他有跟你聊過甚麼嗎？」老爸轉話題。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFf1qDad769
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4So8inI9K8
「沒有。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxZpffTjal
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtRx87PYpQb
這幾年我不斷向光哥搭話，他總是一句起，兩句止的回答，他怎會主動跟我說甚麼。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4S5KTU2uKI
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmjtCXvvx8G
「甚麼？竟然沒有？兩星期後就是光的婚禮了。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpkFkfowJw
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzF4SVu5Dl2
「甚麼時候安排的？我完全不知道啊。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiu6SWa3S21
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKjbMRosZhN
我只知道光哥跟一個叫歐陽家琪的女孩交往了幾年，她不時在我們家吃飯，感情穩定，就只是這樣。我真不知道婚期。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEmAg0l1Kf
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUe5L2L8xzO
「光打算儀式簡單一點，把錢省下來。早上註冊簽文件，下午到雙方的家敬茶，晚上在茶樓擺幾圍，儀式就當完成了。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKKDt6bBB2
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9XusLSgml
「沒有禮服之類的嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclhk4pgOjT
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzedTOq2LY7
「沒有，光主張一切從簡，他打算穿運動裝而已。」老爸難掩萬分恩惠心情地說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQsXazixVW
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSFOupVDRJ
穿運動裝結婚…376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJUEPSykYe
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLF7LdxOcw
「即是說我們不用刻意打扮？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnGukesug7
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYNSdsemVm
「我想是吧，我跟你媽打算穿得像逛街一樣而已，不然比主角更好看又有點奇怪。」老爸笑著說。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNn1Me7L25
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DD72PJ2QV
「那天我有甚麼可以幫忙嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtpx4KG15ED
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4IbVSsM7NH
「嗯…暫時沒有。你那天早點起床，給一天光吧？補習可以調動一下時間嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEwqn0nkwV
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLHjNJdFZf
「好的。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpLwzmpmlpt
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5leo0CIJGu
「還有，光說你不用買甚麼給他了，不用花這個錢。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNgvaHoSV7
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3rJqWX3jn3
「…」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1I2tL5VcH0
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfpCxNzkJO
買結婚禮物的話，獨力選一份禮物，少說也要二千多塊，精美一點或者挑戒指可能要三千，可能光哥考慮到我的經濟狀況吧。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOvogPgEIMQ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuATuB6btCq
「杜家終於有媳婦了，光真的混得不錯。」老爸的臉洋溢著幸福，老懷安慰般。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzar6X8ixTW
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhQnxhQnwK
光哥中學成績太爛，沒有繼續唸書，早早踏入社會，卻因為找到自己前路去向，早早啟程出發、在社會混，混得理想；反觀自己…也是混社會，卻是「胡混」的「混」，事業還沒有起步。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45cKTUCuRp
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd1Og6c60k4
「其實你爸我…雖然今天只有自己一個人吃飯，但是相當高興，因為你們都有自己的事業︰你媽要工作，你也要工作，光除了工作還要陪女朋友，能有這個家庭，我非常高興。現在我最擔心的是你啊，程。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nQRjtTq9e
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmrk4dD8Qu8
「…」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeF2letaNl3
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwCsCPyqt5
「可以的話，我真想你帶一個人上來吃飯，能倒茶給我喝就最好了。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbFZLRgZUWQ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe6AvWl1uh4
我就知道這個話題今天一定躲不了…你要喝茶是嗎？我倒給你，你要多少杯？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHnGhbFxmo
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYKsniAdrD
「程啊。」老爸抓起我的手。「要學會為自己打算啊，人會老的。」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGk5FyW3rJX
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Pckv5mxjg
…376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWdzN4IfHS
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckdN67sSUp
「嗯…嗯。」我只哼出一聲，表情苦澀，心裡被揪住似的。「呼…」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCV9MDjzwWN
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfqJUyCcnn
速度…到今天還沒有結果…376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgnbpbR4tIu
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJnUSQOiQ5R
「肚子真的不餓嗎？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR3HvrLHbLU
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWipfNHxKDW
「嗯。」我哼聲。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEw11NVpHSn
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvuftdxMvh
「好吧，聊了很久，那麼不阻你了。」老爸說畢，蹣跚地回到房間休息了。376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8I0a3e32H
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcfOrAHvl3
為何一個病人，即使被評為「永久失去工作能力」，拼死擠出半點力量，成就出不可能；而身為健全人士的我，卻甚麼也做不到…376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDswe62cbwm
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPScaGKQZrD
「為甚麼？」376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5O7JkYveJ
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnLvXH0lK7t
為甚麼…376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtEoPGZMco
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRuC4wh3GS
我不想再停留在這個階段啊，那麼接下來的路，要怎樣走？376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0FxRrhYyD
    376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgGmxLuMXM
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPFaJwXhne
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj3mEdjwuty
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGLC0RTidL
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBedwNKTIh
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsmcag5YaA
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdq9eGTGHF1
376Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKTJn7GnicB
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