如果讀者喜歡此故事，希望你能正評+留言，或到penana點「喜歡」，謝謝你的支持！507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2L7GUajzR
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qNn4OSrw3
https://www.penana.com/story/59387/勵志-命運的顏色-一個書寫障礙患者的故事507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50I63PjPgG
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJXXS9YzsEW
＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0YN4hJyHf
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgpr0NLWRJ
147章 - 不應該有的空閒507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8RrqiNAWX
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaROTa85SNp
兩年多過去，我一直沒有全職工作，沒有跟半個朋友來往，過著封閉式生活。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHX9cvdfDLE
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOMY1NzvVx
今天運動完了，我回到家裡，一如以往空無一人、昏暗的大廳，洗好澡，打算推開房門的時候，聽到身後另一道房門拉開了。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0vMwSuN3Q
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KiX6OXKQp
「程，回來了嗎？」老爸說。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFb2i46S41X
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gWEXCyGxw
老爸數年前動過手術，幸運地，他的康復進度良好。數年過去了，傷口雖然還會隱隱作痛，老爸按時吃藥，依照醫生的指示，身體已沒大礙。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yn9EQVjie
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBRiLGe2JP
從前老爸是夜班司機，大病之後沒有上夜班了。不言敗的他，總是希望重投職場，以較低薪水重操故業，當兼職日班私人司機，每星期上班三天，其他時間在家裡休息。據老爸說，他的體力能應付工作需要，老媽當然想老爸以身體作為首要考慮，但是考慮到終點是希望老爸走出疾病的陰霾，所以放任醫學上失去工作能力的老爸繼續工作。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAvPBcKRJGU
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjBwDWDLEG
一個秋日的午後，今天老爸不用上班。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ21SoRG09lh
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOZr0yRoWC
「嗯。」我說。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrD6TXxDOyL
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhX5EvOMRP
難道這個衣裝要出去嗎？507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhpaOsPaMa
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4n9an0Wv2
「吃了飯沒有，要做飯給你吃嗎？」老爸說。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHb1QtWyv09
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkPweFD5FG
「不…不用了，已經吃了。」我說。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEKQ2Mxvwz
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24luJB0ZWz
「有空聊一下嗎？」老爸扶著牆壁，坐到沙發說。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwFIBupZ0TX
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1TMMwBwBqG
「…」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpDvhLe7OkZ
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30qf2g9ZeT
突然要聊天，總覺得不會是甚麼好事。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfPyG5MTyh
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62b5qmI6kP
我倒了杯熱茶給老爸，坐到了老爸身旁，心裡準備好迎接老爸的訓斥。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBzld7j50U
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfW2BzoA5u9
我稍稍察看老爸的臉，他是一張仁慈的臉。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeRGI8uP4Is
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PdkEpKqMr
「今天沒有補習嗎？」老爸說。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrQmCdzuIzr
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGihuPpyXB4
「有啊，晚上有一個學生。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DZt1wft5I
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgAkeNKypE
「不用等你吃飯了？」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzFNb2TseY4
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UTGrxFSoH
「我吃了飯再出去。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPtXdemX2wD
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0L8Bmq1x10
「收入…還好嗎？」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8qcdniscK
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4qVVfYg6h
兩年了，沒有全職工作的事實，家人當然知道，以前我跟他們說︰「我的開支會自理」，老爸老媽竟然沒有反對，光哥…自中學以後就不再管我的事了，所以沒人阻止我的決定。我一直依靠補習那份不高不低的收入過活，其他時間不斷做戶外運動和在房間做訓練，希望終有一天能打開那個「開關」，離開發展協調障礙這個問題。但時至今天，問題依然持續。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSdJ4j47Xf
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gjWcrNgYN
「嗯。」我馬虎回答。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotV22XUXoM
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRCSpZU6Km
「不夠花的話我給你一點？」老爸說。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Wz4sd04zB
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTn8HNYw9RZ
因為光哥的工程公司經營理想，他不時給一大把鈔票作為家用，感覺是送錢給父母的孝子，老爸老媽見到我的情況，不時問我錢夠不夠花，總是被我拒絕。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLepqYAvLy
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdjgGPeXSha
「不用了，我還可以，老爸你把錢儲起來吧。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEdWKo8ViT
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2gLJ82MLkR
路是自己挑的，到死，都要把路走完，為自己的決定負責。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGB10WQM9yj
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIzGRZ3pPj
「想關心一下你的情況，可以嗎？」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo9tS4a03SZ
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡplUm5rwprP
你的身份是父親，沒有甚麼可以不可以啊，否定我的決定也是有道理的。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BzrAwTuDA
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aeLocotaT
「程你…真的沒打算找全職工作嗎？」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwBoURP5JXL
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1FABrmu0O
「…」我盯著屋內的一角，思考怎樣回答。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeFVBvqDRhy
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoA3CrUPaj
「雖然錢方面你現在不成問題，但是長久下去，人的擔子愈來愈大，我們幫不了多少啊。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBX835Ap9cx
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPlIEL9EVr
作為補習老師，時薪升幅不算理想，最理想方法是多找幾個學生，這樣就犧牲時間，跟我的主要目標相違背。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6UcBkndMSa
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjPcvolvpg
「你爸我，知道你不是沒有工作的心，你每天都有去上班，幹自己喜歡的事，沒有問我們要過半毛錢，這些我們是知道的，但是你的情況，我們開始擔心了。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrCIAYqNe9
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQRXEcIxlTs
要是老爸來硬的，我一定頂嘴，但是他用柔和的方式說這些話，我反駁不了，準確點說是「不忍心反駁」...507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡact6PtSCEl
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHXScCpjZoP
「喜歡教學生，為甚麼不當全職補習老師？我朋友的女兒就是補習老師，這樣工作會穩定一點吧？」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBUqZQDAeP0
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3Zqol19Vg
我不是沒有想過當全職補習老師...全職就沒有時間了。我選擇維持這個狀態是希望找到更多時間，為身上的機能病找到答案，我深信自己能辦到，所以從來沒有放棄過，也沒有放棄過自己...507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMipVeaLAQH
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡadLgFz0BMN
這兩年裡，我不斷嘗試以前聽過的疑似答案，早就試過但沒甚麼治效、物理治療師的治療指示，還有白先生說的運動治療法，每天抽很多時間反覆做過無數次測試、鍛鍊，甚至中學確診之前被我否定了的方向也重新跑了一遍，有開倒車的感覺，但事實是︰所有都不像是答案，手部活動能力沒有突破性的改善...天啊...507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5rMVI3Qs3
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboJS4m8XRs
可能，我對自己是個「不正常的人」這個自我定位耿耿於懷，不想被別人標籤，也不想接受這個事實，所以才花費無數時間想要治好這個病。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdbEZdYH5tC
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0thboYfo9j
念念不忘，結果白花了兩年。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYtF7mAvDf
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbx32pT4yG0
值得為一個旁人看來只是小問題的病花掉青春黃金期的兩年嗎？507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjU28Fu5DL9
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbUjTdiVFMr
我想沒有經歷過這類病症的人，是不會明白我的痛苦。這個想法，從中學開始我已經抱持著。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3uQhDv53f2
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yfjxSwr7M
即使是經歷過這種苦的白先生，也不太明白我的痛苦。他憑自己的其他優秀條件，成功找到其他類別的工作，他還「幸運地」解決了抄寫的問題，成就非凡。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ65pgb1po0
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡElfEF7LbdS
一將功成，萬骨枯。有多少同病相連的畢業生被這個病折騰得死來活去，迷失在時間的洪流之中？難道失敗者會站出來分享失敗的經驗嗎？從來只有成功者有資格搞分享會，讓所有人看成功者美輪美奐的一面。於我而言，我覺得失敗者也值得搞自己的分享會，前車之轍，可以借鑒，但是世界價值觀否定了我的想法，我一直找不到經驗分享，不論是生活周遭，還是越洋到世界彼端的網絡世界。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbFaewJUj4
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrDZTtN7f6
「…」我好像有甚麼難言之隱似的，純粹低下頭。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT09UsvecTI
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDoVFUSITV
「有甚麼事想要做嗎？」老爸說。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIp9awCSMs
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQYT55y4za
我微微點頭。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXuOIkDsRU
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9EMYsspUCU
「是不是那個...甚麼病？」老爸問。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGcfgN6kH0
    507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTpOUetliT
原來老爸還記得我有這個問題。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpzLWzZ6gWi
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yFR8B6IO0
我又微微點頭。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8EG7tdRXN
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuwSdi6YaQ
「你爸我，還有你媽，唸書真的不多，不知道你發生了甚麼事，但是人的時間是有限的，你看我和你媽，臉上皺紋跟頭髮一樣多，不要留下後悔啊。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6nMRb9rmyc
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYnZugnOW2X
不要留下後悔…507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiLkpXqa7E
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnB8PIHafDS
其實我現在做的事就是為了不留下後悔，但好像在製造另一個後悔…我開始搞不清了。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWC8601Nxjr
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBVueNTsW8
「聊別的吧。光快要結婚了，他有跟你聊過甚麼嗎？」老爸轉話題。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lHBf2QhCy
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdG7ZUviBs
「沒有。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRNwoLMSkv
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0h872t4Wcf
這幾年我不斷向光哥搭話，他總是一句起，兩句止的回答，他怎會主動跟我說甚麼。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLOx13oMLG
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyv5kzru0mE
「甚麼？竟然沒有？兩星期後就是光的婚禮了。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTN7bETt1ee
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRI2MQhlRY
「甚麼時候安排的？我完全不知道啊。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtdwbwxsnd
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aTSWJ2cSL
我只知道光哥跟一個叫歐陽家琪的女孩交往了幾年，她不時在我們家吃飯，感情穩定，就只是這樣。我真不知道婚期。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYiRFbR26T2
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5beoD7wmjV
「光打算儀式簡單一點，把錢省下來。早上註冊簽文件，下午到雙方的家敬茶，晚上在茶樓擺幾圍，儀式就當完成了。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7972uu0Xwt
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOWvpysptZ
「沒有禮服之類的嗎？」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNHxCVyqJUx
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEoRL37VB4
「沒有，光主張一切從簡，他打算穿運動裝而已。」老爸難掩萬分恩惠心情地說。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGVrBvYF3y
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8dZ4WdTFA
穿運動裝結婚…507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgf6eMMAG9
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81X4O94jQT
「即是說我們不用刻意打扮？」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LLF5pJsH9
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDK9p2iWGy
「我想是吧，我跟你媽打算穿得像逛街一樣而已，不然比主角更好看又有點奇怪。」老爸笑著說。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJvYQ00Kti
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmUdEHUuoU
「那天我有甚麼可以幫忙嗎？」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYlLZdsOho3
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaICciKRjqb
「嗯…暫時沒有。你那天早點起床，給一天光吧？補習可以調動一下時間嗎？」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPdJkr1HQdx
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn6BFGknlhR
「好的。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnnNnf1jI5H
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvDkiE4lHq
「還有，光說你不用買甚麼給他了，不用花這個錢。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQW4uzo0T2
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUozFj8pSj4
「…」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡks7RIWdxw0
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLYGXn6xR4S
買結婚禮物的話，獨力選一份禮物，少說也要二千多塊，精美一點或者挑戒指可能要三千，可能光哥考慮到我的經濟狀況吧。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GRZGJmVlC
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSjwGZVmjq
「杜家終於有媳婦了，光真的混得不錯。」老爸的臉洋溢著幸福，老懷安慰般。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVny4fBrCfA
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Ep8Rsrsqy
光哥中學成績太爛，沒有繼續唸書，早早踏入社會，卻因為找到自己前路去向，早早啟程出發、在社會混，混得理想；反觀自己…也是混社會，卻是「胡混」的「混」，事業還沒有起步。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcvYlnv5Gu
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgSoNOPo3O
「其實你爸我…雖然今天只有自己一個人吃飯，但是相當高興，因為你們都有自己的事業︰你媽要工作，你也要工作，光除了工作還要陪女朋友，能有這個家庭，我非常高興。現在我最擔心的是你啊，程。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxgGv1o0FH
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbl92mIi1JY
「…」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhbynGHQaB
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGstJoPJzH
「可以的話，我真想你帶一個人上來吃飯，能倒茶給我喝就最好了。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzilSurK28W
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqysq8ySnX
我就知道這個話題今天一定躲不了…你要喝茶是嗎？我倒給你，你要多少杯？507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vhk7tioND
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxHe3yvv7V
「程啊。」老爸抓起我的手。「要學會為自己打算啊，人會老的。」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjNwlQCoOy
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQha03Hma6m
…507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3d19tLLyS
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7BwFiJBmW
「嗯…嗯。」我只哼出一聲，表情苦澀，心裡被揪住似的。「呼…」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14Q9ennSMy
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgju9WwL6y6
速度…到今天還沒有結果…507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOA47BOs7ww
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpXsKa16Sl
「肚子真的不餓嗎？」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHPPoCMjzy
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ36SE6RFzKt
「嗯。」我哼聲。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywMnr7PiWq
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe451q7Xa75
「好吧，聊了很久，那麼不阻你了。」老爸說畢，蹣跚地回到房間休息了。507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8lAGHFdu6
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUH0cnzjHvR
為何一個病人，即使被評為「永久失去工作能力」，拼死擠出半點力量，成就出不可能；而身為健全人士的我，卻甚麼也做不到…507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ87tIkgIQAl
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzIUmpueMd
「為甚麼？」507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsIfFwR4XO
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡieMNdk4Uas
為甚麼…507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Dno8Aivm8
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yYZcWRw6W
我不想再停留在這個階段啊，那麼接下來的路，要怎樣走？507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmTw02TMZkW
    507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkawGlCic0H
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsbAfiuAO1
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEntZ0b2RR1
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hzVYPDNvy
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuiK5mxK2Lb
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqnnEDiTo8
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1E9EcTVvec
507Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPprCaXwgf
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