“Shoe-gar,” I said. “Shoe-gar…”
“No, Nathan,” teased Kathy. “You can’t have any sugar. Joie would have my head if I gave you some.”
“Joe,” I said, clumsily reaching for Kathy’s white sleeve. “Joe a jerky, Kat,” I told her, pulling the covers above my head like a toddler. Kathy laughed before ruffling my hair. Writing something onto her clipboard, Kathy said,
“Out of all of my patients, you’re my favorite!”
“Don’t start playing favorites again,” complained Vincent, walking into the room, glancing down at Kathy’s clipboard. “How is he improving?”
“Well,” Kathy started, dramatically, “His speech is improving, but he’s still having trouble with grammar, pronouncing names, and he still pauses when he talks. But, his motor skills are getting better, and he knows a new word, ‘sugar’!”
Vincent shook his head. “It’s time for you to leave, Kathy. It’s now my shift.”
“Right, I forgot~” Sliding off the stool, Kathy sent me an air-kiss before leaving me alone with Vincent. I didn’t like that.
“Scar,” I said. “Yo scar!” I pointed at him, eyes scrunched up like Vincent’s when he’s frustrated.
“No, I’m not scary, Nathan,” Vincent said, sternly. Pulling a clipboard from his white coat, he asked, “What do you remember?”
“Kat and Vent and shoe-gar,” I recited, looking up at the ceiling light.
Vincent wrote something down. “Do you remember anything about yesterday?”
I nodded. “Kat and Vent and Joe,” I recited, poking Vincent’s coat.
He wrote something down again. “Do you remember that Joie and I wheeled you to see the other patients here?” I nodded, big smile radiating from my face.
“Me sees otter wheelies and docs and Victoria!” I squeaked. Vincent’s eyes widened.
“Can you repeat the last word?”
“Vick-ia,” I stumbled, smiling.
“No, I heard you say ‘Victoria’,” he told me. I shook my head. “Vick-ia,” I said again.
Vincent sighed before putting his clipboard way. “You have a long way to go, Nate. At least the accident didn’t hinder your memory that badly,” he added, looking back at his clipboard. “Though, you only remember recent events. You don’t remember what happened before the accident, do you?” When I didn’t say anything, Vincent sighed again. “You don’t even remember your friends.”
“Vent, why…you and…Kat…care…me?”
“We’re your friends, that’s why. We’re like your family,” Vincent added.
“No, me…not,” I told him. “Me…hag…no…one.”
Tears flooded into Vincent’s eyes at my words. He hesitated before hugging me.
“You’ll remember again, Nate. Just try to think back to the old days,” he whispered.
Struggling, I gave him a pat, not knowing what was going on. “I…will try.”684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXO1ZJHFCM8
“One day, I’m going to teach you proper English,” Victoria told me, using her crutches to walk to the window, breathing in the fresh air. I followed closely behind, via wheelchair, and did the same thing. “It’s a wonder that people here can understand you.”
“Me speak…English,” I started. “Me likes…sleep and play…Kat and Vent foony…me likes.” Victoria shook her head, sighing. Adjusting her glasses, Victoria told me,
“See, that’s what I mean, Nathan. One day, I’m going to teach you proper English, and how to read and write too. It’s just doing it all again,” she added, as Joie popped in, sipping from her mug.
“Are you two kids ready for physical therapy?” she joked, wheeling me into Bill’s hall, Victoria limping closely behind. Opening the door, Bill’s assistant, Christopher, ushered me in, leading Victoria to a different room down the hall.
“Where she go?” I asked, confused. “Me thoughts she do there-pie too.”
“She is,” Bill said, taking the clipboard from Joie. Putting his glasses on—I liked those glasses—he went up to me, stretching his hand out for me to shake. “But if you want to go to his room, you have to learn the basics.”
Biting my teeth, I stretched my hand out to shake Bill’s, but my fingers wouldn’t open up. My hand began to tremble, so I brought it back to me, worried that I did something wrong.
“Okay, let’s try the opening hand exercise instead,” he told me, smiling that grin I hated.
“No!” I yelled, causing Christopher to stare. “Me has to learn. No more…um…back track!”
“Nathan, dude, I think you should listen to Bill,” Christopher whispered in my ear. “If you want to progress, we have to do these mini-exercises to get your body used to the acts before trying something harder!”
I took a big breath before doing the exercise, not wanting a lecture from Bill or Christopher. My fingers didn’t want to cooperate that session. Even though I was still stuck on the same spot, Bill never got angry or raised his voice at me though I yelled back at him. Maybe that’s why it was so hard for me to get my fingers to work. I was too mad at them…
“Don’t worry, Nate,” Kathy cooed, feeding me that evening. “You’re probably not getting enough rest. Our body functions its best when we’re healthy and recharged. Have you been skipping on your hours?”
I shook my head, but that was a lie.
Kathy frowned as she mixed up my soup, blowing it gently.
“Nate, lying is very bad,” she lectured. “If you lie to me, to Joie, or to anyone else here, how are we going to help you? So I’ll ask again: Have you been skipping on your hours?”
I nodded. I didn’t want to stay like this forever; I wanted others to help me so I could be like everyone else. “Sleep no come,” I told her. “Sleep never comes.”
That night before bedtime, Kathy fed me some warm milk, saying, “If this works on babies, I bet it can work on a Nathan.” I half-shrugged as I drank the creamy liquid. Rubbing my back and giving me a bedtime hug, Kathy closed the door softly before leaving. I fidgeted around in bed, looking for sleep.
Well, it actually found me instead. And that night, I saw something—a dream Kathy would call it.
I was in my hospital room, and I heard music from downstairs. I looked around for my wheelchair, but it wasn’t around. Kicking my bed covers off, I stumbled onto my feet—uncomfortable from the pressure my feet were putting up with. Using my IV thing for balance, I made my way down the hallway to where the music was coming from.
The hallway was clean: No chairs, no nurses, no Kathy or Vincent, and definitely no Joie. The windows were polished and there were no stars or moon or anything: Just black. But the music never stopped.
I remembered hearing it before, somewhere. But never at the hospital, though. I looked through every room that I could find and never found the music. But it was there…
It was waiting for me.
“How was your sleep?” Kathy asked me, spooning me mushy porridge that morning.
“Nice,” I coughed.
“I guess your speech is improving, right?” she asked me. I shrugged before looking down at my uncooperative hands.
Kathy turned the TV on for me to watch after breakfast. Flipping through the channels, my ears were captivated from the music on channel 49. There, I found the song that weaved into my dreams.
“What song called?” I asked her.
“Chopin,” she smiled. “Chopin Opus 9 no 2: Who knew you had a taste for classical?”
I didn’t say anything, not understand what she meant. How could you taste music?684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFgwuYrpGw
“I was quite famous in the music world,” Victoria told me as we adventured out into the hospital’s park. “Before I got stuck here, I would play concerts with my piano every week.” She stopped to stare at some song birds in the trees above.684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡynt9LB1EfZ
“Don’t you…get tired?” I asked, trying not to pause when I spoke, (Joie finally came around to teach me how to speak properly, much to Victoria’s delight). Victoria shook her head, moving her hands softly in the air as if she was playing a song again.
“When you love doing something, you never get tired of it.”
“So, what does…a plano…look like?”
“Piano,” Victoria corrected. “One day, when you get out of here, you’ll see it, I’m sure. It’s not that hard to find, actually. You’ll know when you see it.”
“Can anyone play on it?”
“Yes, but it’s very hard. It takes years to fully master the piano.”
“I don’t want to be a master. I just want to…play one song, a simple one.” A small smiled curved over Victoria’s lips.
“Yes, I can help you with that. I can teach you how to read the notes and play the song.”
I clapped my hands together. “Is that a promise?” Victoria rolled her eyes as he nodded.
“Yay~” I squealed.
Later that day, Kathy wheeled me to Bill’s for physical therapy. It’d been a week since I learned how to take my first steps.
As Christopher helped me walk across the room during the session, Bill cheered me on and congratulated me when I did the last few steps on my own.
“Once you can walk on your own, you’ll move to another room to do advance physical therapy,” he told me, leading me back to my wheelchair. “And, you won’t have to be on the wheelchair anymore. You’ll use crutches instead.”
“Like Vic?” I asked—Vic is my nickname for Victoria. He nodded before giving me some background info for advance physical therapy. It was a lot more than just using your hands and walking, I’ll say that.
“Don’t worry, you have three weeks left here before moving on, so I’ll prepare you for then as best as I can,” Bill laughed, patting my back. Then his face fell when he saw me crying. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“T-Thank you for never g-giving up on m-me,” I sobbed, hugging him around the middle.
I was going to miss Bill…684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn8CviGLsHS
Grabbing my crutches after the fourth session of advance physical therapy, I slowly limped out and back to my room. My therapist was a lot harsher than Bill, but her assistant was just like Christopher, quirky and funny.
I really miss those two…
Going past the visitors’ lobby, I saw Victoria in a shirt and skirt, her crutches gone. Seeing me, Kathy opened the door to let me in.
“What’s going on?” I asked, glancing at the balloons and cake on the table. “Is it her birthday?” Kathy shook her head, eyes shined with tears.
“She’s leaving, Nate. She’s all better now.” I titled my head, lip quivering.
“Is she going to come back?” Noticing the tone in my voice, Kathy broke it down.
“Nate, when someone gets better here, they don’t come back until they feel bad again,” she explained. “Judging by Victoria’s improvement, she’s not coming back for quite a while.”
“When?”
“She’ll probably be back when she’s a lot older than now. Like…you remember Lily? Yeah, when she’s like Lily. By then, she needs people to help her, like eating and walking.” I felt my crutches leave my arms. The crash brought Victoria’s attention to me.
“Hi, Nathan,” she said, curtly. Then she stretched his hand out for me to shake. “Well, I guess this is goodbye.”
I didn’t bother to answer, shake his hand, or look at her: My eyes fixed on the floor. Victoria bent down and brought me my crutches, thrusting them into my hand.
“Take care of yourself, and good luck,” she told me, patting my shoulder.
“Take care of myself?” I choked.
“Yeah, you know, go on with your life,” she explained.
“Um-Nate’s really tired right now, and he needs his afternoon nap,” Kathy blurted, glancing at me worriedly through her spectacles. “But, you can say your goodbyes before you leave, Victoria.” She nodded and went to cut a slice of cake.
“When you wake up later, you can have some,” she told me, giving the slice to Kathy, ruffling my hair. “Hopefully, we’ll see each other again.”
“Yes, that’s great. Come along Nathan, nap time~” When I didn’t move, Kathy pulled my sleeve to motivate me. Feeling my throat tightened, I walked. Turning my head back before leaving, I whispered,684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5BuWtS20P
“Good luck.” That was all I could say before tears spilled. Biting my lip, I carried on with my walk. But, it hurt so much.
She was my friend.684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMLb558kJU1
She promised that she’ll stay until I got better.684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFtZa5cAah
She promised she’d teach me a song on the piano.684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vctjxMWpg
She told me she was going to teach me how to read and write…684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWFz72LNNO
But it was all a lie…684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZqhbyWmGw
“Nathan, do you want to talk?” Kathy asked, helping me onto the hospital bed. I shook my head, crying into my hands. “You know, she was ready to leave three weeks ago, but she stayed a bit longer just to encourage you along the way.” Kathy sat next to me, stroking my hair.
“I hate her,” I muttered, hugging Kathy. “She’s like Vincent. You go away when you’re not needed anymore.”
“Well, he left because you started remembering things,” Kathy whispered.
“But I still needed him…”
“Shush, get some sleep and you can enjoy your cake later. Patients that’ve been here longer than you have experienced worse. Some never saw their families and friends again when they got left here. Don’t think you’re the one suffering most here.”684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcMiv3Ly4jP
“So, you have Polio?” I asked Vivian.
“Yes, I do,” she replied, faintly. Her eyes glanced down at my crutches. “It’s funny that you ask that question now.”
“Just trying to be polite,” I said, poking Vivian’s iron lung machine.
“The past four weeks have been fun…” she managed, weakly. I nodded—four weeks since Victoria’s leave, and four weeks since the talk with Kathy. Eyes drooping, she struggled, “Bring me…my Good…Book, Nate.” Pulling the leathered-bound book from the drawer, I frowned.
“I don’t get why you read it?” I asked her, opening the “dictionary” to the page Vivian was on last time. “It’s just words. When you die, the words won’t be with you anymore. They won’t mean anything.”
“What have you been smoking?” Vivian mumbled—coughing dryly at her joke. “It’s exactly why I read it before me time is up. It’s my guide, my map to the next place. Something to prepare and clean me up before the big trip,” she explained, signaling me to turn the page.
“Why do you have to read it?”
“It comforts me during my days left here,” she wheezed. I narrowed my eyes a bit before loosening up. Vivian wasn’t an old person, she was quite young—probably mid-twenties, I’m guessing. Her hair was dull, and she was skinny as a pole. She barely ever moved, and if she did, it was just small jerks with her fingers. Clutched tightly in one of her hands, was her cross—something she always wore when she was little, so she told me. If she didn’t have Polio—“It’s probably the saddest condition I’ve dealt with through a patient”, Kathy told me once—she looked like she would’ve easily made it to her sixties or even seventies.
“I hope you never die, Vivian. You’re a great friend!”
“You’re a good friend too, Nate, but I can’t stay here forever. Eventually…I’ll have to go on. Then…I’ll meet my friend, Faith, again.”
“Did she die from Polio?” I asked, realizing how rude it sounded. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s alright, death doesn’t mean anything to me at this point,” Vivian mumbled, signaling me to close the book. Today, she only read a page and a half—a lot shorter than the previous days. “She died from cancer—died quite young, actually. I stayed with her ‘til the very end.”
“What were her final words?”
“’Thank you,’” Vivian whispered, closing her eyes to rest. And I then knew that I had to leave.
“Good luck, Vivian. I hope you get better,” I told her, putting the “dictionary” away. She groaned before wincing as the sudden jerk of her fingers.
That night, I prayed to the Guy Upstairs to help Vivian out. As I prayed, I thought about her friend and Vincent and Victoria. I wondered if they ever prayed for me. I wondered if Vivian’ friend, Faith, ever prayed for her, Vivian. I wondered if Faith could send the message to the Guy Upstairs in turbo speed.
Later that morning…Vivian died.684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqXGbil5QmU
A white blanket was over her and her iron lung machine was gone.684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHpVh2dsoY
Kathy and Vivian’ doctor, Carla, said her lungs gave out.684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qEhs34cNH
When I came to visit her, a flower in my hand,684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2fFQrZrpV
I saw the Good Book resting on top of her.684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78PBfbo0DV
Her cross served as a bookmark for the book, and when I turned it open,684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNqnwodioLi
I saw a message that was delivered specifically to me.684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKWIhqSabq
Getting off the bed, I looked around for my crutches, but they were nowhere in sight. I was tempted to call Kathy, but I was curious to see if my legs could withstand my weight. Taking deep breaths, I stumbled onto my feet, using the drawer as support.684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuxLxO1tgC
Flexing my legs like Doctor Tammy, my advance therapist, told me, I started my few steps forward. Soon, those few steps evolved into a full speed-walk down the hallway. My legs weren’t jelly, but stiff on the floor. My muscles groaned at my weight, but kept up with my pace.
Looking around me, I saw the other patients and doctors stop and stared at me, wide grins growing on their faces. I saw Vincent and Kathy, and they nearly tackled me when they saw that I was without the crutches. Tammy congratulated me and her assistant, Hoang, treated me to doubles of everything for breakfast.
For the first time in a week, I was all in grins.684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KZyC83n24
“You have a visitor today,” Vincent told me, leading me to the private visitors’ room. Opening the door, he gestured me in, and there, I saw Victoria—the traitor/friend from before. She was wearing the same clothes the day she left and a polite smile was plastered on her face—too fake for my taste.
“Nate, it’s been a while,” she told me when Vincent left. “I read the papers you gave Kathy. They were quite good.”
“Kathy gave them to you?” I asked, biting my lip. Victoria nodded.
“I know you had a shaky past few months after my leave,” she started, twiddling her thumbs.
“Oh, now you’re beginning to notice,” I scoffed, folding my arms as I paced around her.
“I’ve come back to give you an apology.”
I rolled my eyes. “So, you waited for four months just to say ‘sorry’?” The blood in my veins began to heat.
“I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. I thought you would’ve been happy,” she mumbled.
“Happy?” I gasped. “You could’ve told me the truth from the start. Why didn’t you tell me that you were okay? Then…you just left, not noticing how I felt that day,” I snapped, jabbing Victoria’s arm with each word.
“Can’t you forgive me?”
Let’s just say…the rest wasn’t pretty.
Fussing in my ear as she bandaged my red fists, Kathy muttered,
“Why’d you slap her, Nate? She was just trying to apologize!”
“She’s a jerk,” I sniffed, wiping my bleeding nose.
“Your hurt her feelings, Nate,” Kathy lectured.
“Didn’t you tell me before to always speak the truth?”
Kathy looked furious with herself.684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOiKEDAUY7
After gulping down breakfast, Kathy gave me some clothes, a trench coat, and a scarf. Ruffling my hair one last time, she led me to the visitors’ room where patients and doctors waited to congratulate me on my recovery and freedom.
“If you see Victoria again, try not to slap her,” Vincent joked, wagging a disapproving finger as he shook my hand.
“And, try not to get into any trouble again. We don’t want a repeat of this past year,” cautioned Tammy, handing me a cup of tomato juice, slapping my arm playfully.
“Take care,” some of the patients mouthed, giving me a salute. Brimming with tears, I saluted back as I was led out of the hospital by Carla and Kathy. Both doctors gave me a final hug before letting me go.
“I hate happy endings…” Carla sniffled, Kathy patting her back.
As soon as I was a few feet on my own, it began to snow. Great flakes of it rained down on me as I jogged to the hospital’s cemetery. After all, I had a few more people to say goodbye to—Vivian and, recently, Lily. When I founded their crosses near the front, I got on my knees and pressed my hands together, wishing them luck wherever they were.
“I promise I’ll come by to visit soon,” I told their crosses, taking my scarf and wrapping it around the crosses. They both didn’t like the cold when they were alive, and, I bet, especially when they were dead. Pressing my hands onto the snow in front of them, I saluted them goodbye before, finally, venturing out to the world I once knew. The world before that car accident…684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdAu75DpLsc
A year later…
“That’ll be twenty dollars, Sir,” the ticket man said. Rummaging through my pockets, I handed him money and grabbed my ticket. Making my way through the concert hall—getting lost along the way—I found the room where they were going to do a mash-up of two songs—some classic mixed with modern.
Peeling my gray hoodie off, I pounded my way through streams of people to get to the front row, or as close as I can get. I smiled, thinking of what the others would say about this situation.
“Hmph, no wonder so many people get called in with broken limbs,” Tammy would mutter, and Hoang would probably nod in agreement. Vincent would probably yell “Excuse me!”, but would still be pushed back by the crowd. Vivian and Lily would be laughing and complaining about the “youth of this generation”. Kathy would be laughing and making sure I didn’t trip or get run-over by someone while Carla battled her way through the crowd, saying, “Make room, please!”
Finding a comfortable seat up front, I watched as the lights dimmed and the concert hall got silent. The stage lights shined as the conductor got on, introducing tonight’s mash-up: Winter by Vivaldi and Let It Go from, the recent movie, Frozen.
The crowd clapped as the curtains were raised. The orchestra and band filed in, getting their instruments ready. A grand piano sat center stage, spotlight following the person who was going to play on it. When they turned to face the crowd, I felt my jaw fall off. It was Victoria!
Smiling, she took her spot and cracked her fingers. With a quick glance from the conductor, Victoria began the intro. Slowly, the other instruments joined in—with the help of the conductor, reaching full force at the climax.
With a bang of an ending, the crowd exploded into claps and whistles. Each player and the conductor bowed low before retreating to backstage. The concert hall lights turned back on, and people were shuffling out, talking about the amazing performance.
I turned and looked around; making sure no one was left. Quietly, I made my way up to the grand piano. Glancing over my shoulder, I pressed a key before jumping off stage. Looking at my finger and then hands, a smile curved onto my lips.
Making my way to the backstage, I wanted to congratulate her.
I wanted to tell her,684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQJu1Ysc9dW
“I forgive you.”
684Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrw8skCE9KZ
and then Add to home screen.