今天殺手和特務轉行當古董買賣了 - 八十六、陰間奇遇記（五）

「被你發現了。」丹倩抱起彥嵐，讓她靠在自己的懷裏。

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彥嵐看著媽媽的臉，許久也沒法反應過來。

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從她會記事起，「媽媽」就是一張照片，擺在正廳的祖龕上，不會說話，不會動，永遠莊嚴優雅地注視著廳中的風景。

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她曾經幻想過媽媽的聲音、媽媽的性格，如今清晰的輪廓、略沉的聲線、淡淡的體香、懷裏的溫度…她的媽媽就在她眼前。

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「終於抱到了…好輕啊，你有好好吃飯嗎？等一下，媽媽會送你回去的。」丹倩輕輕地在彥嵐臉上印了一個吻。

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圍在四周的黑白無常逐漸明白現在的狀況，一片黑白色開始泛起了竊竊私語。

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「將軍大人，就算這是您的女兒，您這樣執意要將她送回陽間也不合規矩吧？」其中一個白無常說道。（白太太青筋+1）

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「對啊對啊！牛頭馬面憑甚麼干涉我們黑白無常！」（白太太青筋+1）

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「別以為將軍了不起！」（白太太青筋+1）

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「幹嘛不回嘴？！怕了嗎？」一塊小石頭擊中了丹倩的後腦勺。（白太太突然靜了）

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「女兒啊，你來當證人吧，是他們先扔石頭的，所以媽媽接下來做的是正當防衛，知道嗎？」丹倩一邊折手指一邊鬆脖子。

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「好…好的媽媽…那麼…我…我先去一旁待着…？(⚆_⚆)」彥嵐看了看媽媽咔喀咔喀作響的指骨和脖子。

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「不用，對付這些人根本不需要騰出雙手…」

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彥嵐：「……」

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「啊，對了，如果小嵐自己遇到這種事千萬不要學媽媽喔，這樣可是很危險的，記得要趕緊逃跑喔~（看着女兒露出姨母笑）」

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五秒後，黑白無常的工作區傳出連連的慘叫聲…據說當時的叫聲連地獄區也聽得見，不過此就乃後話了。

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這時，發覺不對勁的牛頭馬面破門而入，但一切都已經太遲了，門內只剩下一堆被打趴在地上的黑白無常，他們的臉上全都腫得像豬頭。

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而房間內唯一站着的，正是他們的隊長大人，她手中抱着剛才在報到區和人發生爭執的小女孩，不知道是不是嚇到了，那孩子好像有點呆。

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「喂，你，去撤回我女兒的死亡記錄。」丹倩輕輕踢了趴在腳邊的黑無常一腳說。

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「知道了、知道了、大人…」

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眾趕來牛頭馬面：「隊長！！！這 …這究竟是怎麼回事啊！？」

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「這幫人把我未死的女兒帶來地府了，還用小石子扔我，所以我在正當防衛，對吧？小彥~」丹倩用自己的臉蹭在彥嵐的臉上，繼續姨母笑。

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眾牛頭馬面：女…女兒？！( ° д⊙)

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………………………………………………

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幾分鐘後…

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「將…將軍大人！閻羅王大人說要親自聽聽發生了什麼事！」那個鼻青臉腫的黑無常回來說道。

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地府裏，閻王坐在王座上：「本王聽說黑白無常錯把梅將軍你的孩子帶來陰間了。」

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「是的，大王，我的孩子在陽間被刺客襲擊，她告訴我黑白無常帶走她的時候醫生還在搶救她和那個刺客。我看她脖子雖然受了傷，這血量說不定是因為傷到了動脈，但依傷口大小來判斷，動脈沒有被割斷，所在及時得到治療的情況下不會這樣就死了的。」丹倩帶著彥嵐，跪在王座前說道。

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彥嵐想起和亞倫對過的口供，便補充道：「大王，那時我確實還活著，但刺客已經被子彈射成蜂窩了，說不定因為他死了，而我靈魂出竅，所以黑白無常不小心把我也一起帶走了。」

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「黑白無常，你們甚麼時候連死了和沒死的人都分不清了！？你們不是說當時看見兩個出竅的靈魂，雖然沒死，但想起這個月跑不夠的業績，便起了歪念帶走他們嗎？！梅將軍的孩子說那個刺客已經死掉了是怎麼回事？！」閻王生氣地看向黑白無常。

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這時，彥嵐就知道gg了：這兩個白痴！太老實了吧？！(º □ º l|l)

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「大大大大王！我們沒說謊，那個刺客確實沒死啊！他們不論是肉體的虛弱程度還是靈魂出竅的程度都一樣啊！」黑白無常連忙解釋道。

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最終閻王決定傳召剛被帶到西方極樂的亞倫回來。

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……………………………………………

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亞倫：「我確實是早就死透了。」

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「大王！！！不對！我們有亡魂探測儀的記錄！您看看！他們當時的顏色是一樣的！這意味著他們要麼兩個都死了，要麼兩個都沒死！」黑白無常驚慌失措地拿出儀器，拼命地解釋。

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亞倫、彥嵐：糟了…||||

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