Fallout Poetry - Another Minute

Their lives were gone

In an instant

And all I could think of

Was how to hate myself more...

Who was I fighting for?

For those lost settlers and souls

For the children with no hopes or goals

And adults who never dreamed.

What was I fighting for?

The door to hell is in front of me

And I can feel my torment swell

Too high that I can’t see

Past the tears soaked through my skin

And past those years where it could have been-

different...

Too many battles turned south,

Internal feelings turned to drouth and all along I ask myself,

What was I fighting for?

Why did it all fall to me?

I’m drowning in lost lives

And a blood Red Sea.

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The silence of the night surrounds me

And I watch with my gun in my hand.

Would it be better

If I left this world

And return to those peaceful dreams?-

No more screaming,

No more crying and bleeding.

All those lives depended on me

And the weight of their hopes

Sink me lower

Down into that blood red that haunts me

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Safe at last, yet little changes

Within my heart where my memories hang-

limp in hopelessness.

Safe at last these last few survivors

Who over hours walked on, blistered with sun-scorches drawn on their faces

And I sit once more

And thoughts of death uproar in my head

And my heart

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But she was there beside me and whispered words

Calming that storm of feelings

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A year goes by and little do I think of that long dark night

Taking watch with my gun and my thoughts,

For I never sank lower since she came to me

And I realized that I could drown in that sea or become like a saint

Just like she.

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I asked repentance for myself

And I forgave my shortcomings

And though those lost lives will never be gained

And those children’s dreams never realized and

Hopes continue stained-

I can continue to live

And forgive

And help in an instant

To help others live another minute

Just like me

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