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燭光之火的我、煙火的你
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青春時期,很多女孩一定幻想過,她的生命裡有個白馬王子,對她好、吵架時哄哄她,帶她遊山玩水、一起牽著手、互相擁抱,感受對方的存在與溫度,一起看著這世界、把對方視為生命中的一半對待。
我也曾想過,有個他對我好,在我低潮期時讓我靠在他頸窩,給我時間宣洩自己的無理、無力以及無奈,和眼淚,用低沉安穩的嗓音,輕輕安撫我的頭,說著「沒事的,有我在,盡情的哭吧」。
或者夜裡纏綿不斷,聽著他對我在耳邊小小細語的蜜話,迷惑我的腦、擄獲我的心,雙方熱情擁抱,有個像煙火般燦放的愛情,是我的理想,但也只能是理想。
從小學到高中,單戀過數個男孩,情意如同單向道沒有回返,那樣的理想到了19歲,漸漸的模糊不清…走在人潮穿越的這個社會,似乎逐漸習慣隻身一人,偶爾對朋友鬧著玩、陪家人聊心裡話,這樣的日子好像也不壞。
但走在路上看到稱羨的情侶,心裡的一處總會暗自希望也有個他能待我如此。
或許是羨慕,或許是青春女孩的思想使然,但我漸漸的忘卻喜歡一個人的熱衷感,和依戀感。單戀美好、卻痛,所以之後選擇了不再去喜歡誰,然後逐漸忘記喜歡一個人是什麼樣的感覺。
結果,我卻在邁入20歲的這年,遇到一個讓我理解不能的男人。
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