楠少是日不用兼職,和阿藍逛街去。光仔則負責護送祈祈回家。祈祈婉轉推辭,但阿藍說這地區品流複雜,有光仔陪伴會比較安全。448Please respect copyright.PENANAh4q5gmryFf
448Please respect copyright.PENANALQbeBD7zLU
路上,二人的相處沒有光仔預想的浪漫。祈祈只關心馨儀的事,話題圍繞馨儀、志恆、爆籃皇之間的瓜葛打圈轉。光仔明白她的擔憂,於是油腔滑調地開個小玩笑,緩和氣氛:「對朋友,你如此費神;對男友,你豈不是要掏心掏肺?」448Please respect copyright.PENANAKXfZKvXFrq
448Please respect copyright.PENANAnCsjvtFeQn
「男友?我沒想及這個。」這是祈祈和一眾普通女生的顯著分別。她從阿藍和馨儀身上看見愛情的影響力,但她偏偏沒法代入其中,感受愛情的魅力。原因很簡單:「親情和友情是必需品,但愛情是奢侈品。」448Please respect copyright.PENANAK6T39UpX1s
448Please respect copyright.PENANAnU3NlIY9B0
「愛情不是奢侈品!」光仔反應出奇的大。448Please respect copyright.PENANAhzzML3jr8m
448Please respect copyright.PENANA4HoWuu86tF
「愛情來了,我會迎接;愛情不來,我不會強求。」祈祈抬頭對光仔莞爾一笑,笑他是個愛情狂。她的眼神柔情似水,語調溫婉若歌,愛情觀偏是冷漠如霜。「你的說話甚有道理。奈何親情和友情足以令我頭昏腦脹,畢業後還要為工作和生活煩惱。何必要追求愛情,自尋煩惱?」448Please respect copyright.PENANAPZiXQyZz9R
448Please respect copyright.PENANAOKld7nhqNo
「你沒有發覺到自己習慣理性思考。」光仔深思數秒,發現問題所在。「你的所有感情觀,都是基於理性的考量。父母以物質表達對你的愛,所以你用成績分數來報答親恩;阿藍和馨儀的年紀和你相近,同樣對人生疑惑,所以你透過和她們相處,找尋答案。」448Please respect copyright.PENANAjWRmaHmWax
448Please respect copyright.PENANAHkU0PEpTeQ
「那些行為未必和理性思考扯上必然關係,感性思考也能導致同樣的行為。」祈祈換個角度,重新演繹光仔的例子:「看見父母努力工作,養我育我,所以我深受感動,努力讀書,報答親恩;阿藍和馨儀是我的好朋友,所以我憂她們所憂,樂她們所樂。我的情感為她們而流動。」448Please respect copyright.PENANADqqwyDPNbm
448Please respect copyright.PENANAMCn6x3DirA
「你的說法也很合理。但……」幾近敗陣的時候,光仔靈機一觸:「設身處地,如果你是志恆,你會任由馨儀利用,或是及早抽身離開?」448Please respect copyright.PENANAfVMSWLbYZE
448Please respect copyright.PENANAuGajmyFjJg
祈祈的第一感覺交出來的答案是後者。是邏輯,也是最合理不過的行為,不含情感因素。恍然大悟。如果她思考時帶有感性,答案斷然不會來得利索,許是會夾雜些許情緒及猶豫。448Please respect copyright.PENANAsw7OB9rgNO
448Please respect copyright.PENANA779xgGECQz
深夜。祈祈輾轉反側,難以入眠,腦袋運轉得前所未有的活躍。448Please respect copyright.PENANAnTmTHtsDDX
448Please respect copyright.PENANAHJOocDcsBd
將自己的感受鎖在思想框框裡太久,她對新發現的思考方向又愛又怕。愛它為自己帶來更多面向和可能性,怕它摧毀自己一直以來的感情觀。每一細微的觀念被摧毀時,就是浴火的時刻。浴火之後,能否重生,或能否在更適合的道路上重生,正是祈祈擔心之處。448Please respect copyright.PENANA1pnlsMeuv2
448Please respect copyright.PENANAtGAUdjL4N3
祈祈的世界越來越模糊。她分不清好與壞、對與錯、感情與理性……448Please respect copyright.PENANAC7VPzcqWtv
448Please respect copyright.PENANAMlfrFXibg4
自小以來,在她心目中,父母的每個決定都是為她好,以她的利益為出發點,因此她可以放心服從,儘管她不明白箇中道理。448Please respect copyright.PENANAzQ966PENfP
448Please respect copyright.PENANAks0DBud0wx
直到她轉校至此,遇到一眾與她截然不同的同學和老師。父母將這學校視為「無奈的選擇」,她卻在此找到快樂。認識阿藍、馨儀、楠少、志恆和光仔,是她有生以來最開心的事,比和父母一起更快樂。父母不喜歡她的好友們,時刻告誡她切忌輕易信人。448Please respect copyright.PENANAaDbuUKU4JN
448Please respect copyright.PENANACW4iqxCdjJ
她曾懷疑好友們是否糖衣毒藥。但時間證明他們只是迷茫的年輕人,和她一樣,同為茫茫人生而煩惱。他們不懂處理自己的人生,就像祈祈父母一樣,沒能找出「自己」和「世界」之間的平衡點。448Please respect copyright.PENANAPPgMji7m1L
448Please respect copyright.PENANAUXVnOzw7LO
千思萬想,祈祈的思緒輾轉回歸最初的引發點:愛情。深深嘆氣,想起光仔的說話。她不期然拿起手提電話,開啟通訊軟件對話框,看見光仔「在線上」。448Please respect copyright.PENANAAxaLLySmRG
448Please respect copyright.PENANAHq1aH9CdeV
寒暄幾句後,她敞開心扉,輸入心中大惑:「不理性的情,是怎樣的?」448Please respect copyright.PENANACUCBPeUvBz
448Please respect copyright.PENANAT7hpwO46rv
「明天上午,跟我看一齣電影,然後你就會知道。」光仔睡意全消。他的眼皮苦撐一整晚,就是等祈祈上線。目送祈祈進入屋苑範圍的一刻,他鐵定祈祈今晚會失眠。該是剛才的話題摧毀了她的心理防線吧。從未見過祈祈的目光如此無神。448Please respect copyright.PENANAq4yvp1OCGt
448Please respect copyright.PENANAc2N3zT1WPF
「下午可以嗎?我明天上午會探望志恆。」見志恆為馨儀消瘦不已,祈祈特意準備湯水為志恆補充營養,加油打氣。448Please respect copyright.PENANAUi1xviLmZh
448Please respect copyright.PENANAQdTPt49Oxs
「可以!」難得祈祈如此爽快答應,光仔當然不會忸怩:「不如我們在醫院碰面,一起探望他!」448Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7eFNyyawk
448Please respect copyright.PENANAcMGxLROVS9
多聊幾句,確認明天的行程細節後,祈祈下線,安然入睡。448Please respect copyright.PENANA2C0vR60Jp1
448Please respect copyright.PENANAG3TzzE0Qym
這回,輪到光仔失眠……448Please respect copyright.PENANAljDZmXhgNj
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翌日,光仔悉心打扮。白裇衫加墨綠色修腳牛仔褲,醒目不浮誇。少用一點髮膠,少一分囂張,配合儒雅文靜的祈祈。沿路上,他胡思亂想,擔心祈祈嫌棄自己浮誇,又擔心祈祈看不出他特意打扮過。448Please respect copyright.PENANAGpB34F7hfF
448Please respect copyright.PENANAC2jBL27RBV
在約定的地方碰頭。祈祈是一貫的淡雅清秀,不施脂粉,長髮及腰。簡潔的白色襯衣和橙色淨色長裙,配卡其色帆布鞋,外加黑白圖案側孭袋。新潮又不失青春朝氣。448Please respect copyright.PENANAvplRBSAwN1
448Please respect copyright.PENANAm1QxLvckVS
「祈祈,很好看呢!」光仔喜見祈祈在學校以外的一面。448Please respect copyright.PENANACBo9Cvm1Wi
448Please respect copyright.PENANAMk4hegYKYr
「謝謝……」祈祈倒是有點兒腼腆。每次被稱讚,總覺得是大家客氣而已,並非真的在讚賞她。她從來做不出甚麼好成績來。她有意無意地拉開話題:「你的褲子在哪裡買?剪裁很好看。」448Please respect copyright.PENANASZcMPkn5FG
448Please respect copyright.PENANAvc8p7CMl3I
「在某大型連鎖店買的。看電影後,我們可以一起看看。它的女裝也很不錯。」機會可遇不可求,光仔暗喜。448Please respect copyright.PENANANpi0FomP3f
448Please respect copyright.PENANAdOE9BjrFwc
「好啊!」祈祈開懷笑。與好友相伴的感覺真好。「傍晚六時前回到家裡就可以。」448Please respect copyright.PENANAaXER0zL4wH
448Please respect copyright.PENANAVBiCxKhhRp
自從上次在阿藍家暫住後歸家,家裡的氣氛變得很詭異。448Please respect copyright.PENANApfw4NFaZ0f
448Please respect copyright.PENANAtJUQZW0Jh9
昔日已是客客氣氣的家人,如今更是道謝請安之聲此起彼落。像活在古代的皇宮裡,享用華衣美食的代價就是日夜小心自己的言行舉止。最可悲的是,要過這種提心吊膽的生活,不因擔心被害或被罰,只因珍愛家人。這樣的愛是無形的枷鎖。448Please respect copyright.PENANAPtFOO81Zc4
448Please respect copyright.PENANAW1r7YHOZUn
沉重難當,偏偏甘願拷上。448Please respect copyright.PENANACA54Qwwn5d
448Please respect copyright.PENANAvXrFI9IHp2
祈祈深信,有如此悲涼的結果出現,只因大家不懂如何表達愛而已。改變此等行為之前,她認為必先了解愛的本質。對親情無從入手,祈祈轉而在友情和愛情上追尋答案。萬變不離其宗,相信在友情和愛情上的體悟,亦會有助改善親情。
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同學很懊惱
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同學很懊惱
Author:
天洛卡

ISSUE #20
【2.04界線】
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BOOKMARKS 46
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