如果蜘蛛俠係香港人…（已完結） - 十一

十一

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「我以為你好唔鍾意我添！」我笑住問。

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「你…又知？」湯普深露出疑惑既表情。

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屌，我唔小心爆左響口添！腦筋要即刻急轉彎先得…

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呀，係嘞…可以咁講…

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「啱啱你比人秤住果陣話自己爸爸係乜野總警司吖嘛。」我鳩up，但其實都有幾分道理：「你知啲差佬幾憎我架喇，成日開記者會譴責我，又話我濫用私刑，又話我違反禁蒙面法。咁你係警二代好憎我都好正常啫。」

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湯普深露出左一副「原來如此」既表情。

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呼…原來我講大話都幾叻。

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不過可能係湯普深太蠢啫。

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「你同我老豆講既、形容既…好唔同…」湯普深難得認真地道。

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「哦？」

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「佢話你用打擊罪惡既藉口周圍搵啲無辜既市民出氣。」湯普深續道：「佢話你果次因為有個婆婆亂拋垃圾，所以打到佢四肢骨折…」

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「屌，你唔係咁都信吓嘛？」我忍唔住屌左出黎。

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「因為…佢話有證據吖嘛…」湯普深尷尬既樣，老實講真係第一次見，感覺又幾新鮮。

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「咩證據咁把炮呀？」我忍唔住問：「講黎聽下？」

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「我電話有…」湯普深拎左部電話出黎，㩒入去一個WhatsApp group，再開左段錄音出黎：「嗱，你聽下…」

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「大家，好緊急，好緊急。我女婿而家去緊中大接緊佢表妹，而家入面啲教授…全部都好緊張呀。因為啱啱隻死蜘蛛入左中大，見到個婆婆亂掟垃圾，佢就走埋去屈斷佢啲手手腳腳。大家記得叫屋企人冇乜事就唔好入中大。唔該，幫我傳出去。」

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「屌你。」我真係唔知好嬲定好笑：「呢啲所謂證據都有人信既？」

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「呃…」湯普深無言以對：「我啲親戚信…」

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嗯，或者狗仔同佢啲親戚都係蠢材黎既。

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「你咁夜又出街做乜？」我決定轉一轉話題，反正我都有興趣知佢身為狗仔做乜咁夜出街：「而家成三點喇喎。」

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對住「蜘蛛俠」，平時響學校也文也武既湯普深，竟然露出凡人既一面，佢面對我呢個問題，面上竟然紅左一紅：「冇喎，出黎飲下酒散下心咋嘛。點知行行下街唔小心撞左落其中一個紋身佬度，咪搞到咁囉。」

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屌，佢怕醜個樣好嘔心。

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算，見到佢咁嘔心既樣都唔想問落去。

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反正我都估到係佢撞完人之後又唔肯道歉，仲要兇返人自己係隻狗仔先比人打到豬頭咁。

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「你個樣一睇就知未夠秤，最好都係夠十八歲先飲酒喇。」我舉起手準備射出蜘蛛絲走人：「呢班友，你鍾意就報警處理喇吓。」

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嘶！

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蜘蛛絲射出，我又fing走了。

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走既時候，我好似隱約聽到後面既湯普深大叫：「蜘蛛仔，你唔好走住，可唔可以同我自拍一張先呀…」

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屌，痴線。

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返屋企訓覺先喇hi。

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應承左梅嬸嬸早啲休息，專心啲上堂架嘛！

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我決定第二晚就走去黨鐵車站既車站控制室，試下入去偷走當年既cctv，睇下有冇啲新既線索。

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不過響我放學之前，有件事都幾得意可以同大家分享下。

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話說湯普深成副豬頭咁既樣返到學校，個個都好奇怪，連阿關都忍唔住注視左佢幾眼。

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但冇人夠膽問發生咩事。

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咁我當然知發生咩事，但我係唔會出聲既，只會暗笑啫。

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佢既手下跟班A（即係上次比湯普深掟出走廊果個）非常唔識趣咁走去好大聲咁關心湯普深：「深哥，你冇事吖嘛！邊個打到你咁傷！？」

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其實我諗湯普深都唔想咁多人望住佢，知道佢比人打，但跟班A咁樣一講，全班既視線都轉向湯普深。

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阿深哥睥住跟班A。

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如果我係跟班A呢個時候就應該收聲，偏偏佢仲唔識死，繼續大叫：「我知喇，一定係最近好囂張既果個乜野死蜘蛛見你係總警司個仔所以打到你咁！深哥，唔駛驚，我地咁疊馬…」

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轟！

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跟班A成句句子都未講完，就比湯普深一拳由課室打到飛出走廊…

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嘩…

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其實如果尋晚唔係紋身佬五個打一個既話湯普深應該都唔駛我出手救…

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湯普深再行出走廊扯返跟班A入黎：「蜘蛛仔係我救命恩人，你啱啱講乜春呀！？」

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「係蜘蛛俠呀…」我喃喃自語…

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湯普深之後又掟開跟班A，響自己書包入面拎左張A4紙出黎，上面印左蜘蛛俠比人影到既相，再行去壁報版最正中間前面，求其拎起旁邊枱上面部釘書機釘左張A4紙上去。

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佢搞邊科？

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「喂，你地！」湯普深指住佢班跟班：「過黎！響後面排開，跟住我做呢個動作！」說完之後向蜘蛛俠張A4相跪低，再五體投地咁拜落去…

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佢既跟班們都一齊跟住拜落去…

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遠處睇仲以為係啲乜野宗教儀式…

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諗到佢地跪拜緊我，我就唔小心笑左出黎。

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「柏彼得！你笑乜撚野！？」湯普深注意到我笑，於是目露凶光咁望住：「好好笑咩？」

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哈利正想幫我出頭，我輕輕揮手阻止。

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「深哥你誤會喇！」我滿面笑意：「我都比蜘蛛俠救過，我過黎同你一齊拜！」

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湯普深轉怒為笑：「歡迎歡迎！」

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真係…咁好呃都有既？

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「哈哈哈哈你啱啱痴左線咩！」MJ放學去排戲之前同我傾左句，佢笑到有小小標眼水：「一諗起你啱啱同惡霸湯佢地一齊跪拜蜘蛛俠我就笑到停唔到口…哈哈哈哈…」

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「笑得有儀態小小。」我扮晒野板起口臉：「啱啱果個係神秘又莊重既儀式黎。」

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「係喇係喇。」MJ忽問：「係喎，乜你比蜘蛛俠救過咩？」

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「屌，我鳩up咋嘛。」我自己就係蜘蛛俠喇。

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「哈哈哈哈你好搞笑！」MJ仲笑緊：「希望一陣排戲我可以忍到笑哈哈哈哈…」

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有冇咁好笑呀？

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（待續）

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