And so I learned the power of the cow. It was quite simple really. It mostly consisted of learning various lengths, and pitches of mooing. For example mooo moo is how you levitate objects. And if you say moo moo mooo you could make any nearby non-living object explode. And no that is not their language. Just like saying bippity boppity boo is not part of ours. The cow training only took about an hour. I began to wonder if my mom was worried about me.
"About my parents..." I said to Betsy.
"It's fine, we made a decoy of you."
"Really? How?"
"The will of the grass" the cows mumbled.
"So you're saying that my parents don't know the difference between a man and grass?"
"The grass is all powerful." They replied.
"Right..." I said.
So, now that I learned the way of the cow, can I go home now?
"No"
"Let me guess, the grass disagrees"
"The grass is all powerful. You mustn't argue it's power."
"Right, yeah I'm leaving."
The grass tied around my leg.
"Moo moo mooo" I said hoping to blow up the grass.
The grass did nothing.
"The grass is all powerful. We must praise it." The cows said.
I wanted to go home, but apparently I was stuck.
"Fine, when I free all you're bovine friends, the can I go home?"
"If it is the will of the grass."
Right. I thought. Let's do this thing.
"Wait," said Betsy, "first you need the sword of the grass."
She handed me a sword.
"I hereby dub you sir Waldo" the cow said handing me the sword.
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