電影:《The Meyerowitz Stories》549Please respect copyright.PENANAid4mYjL7zO
如果說看是《sharp objects》飲鴆止渴,那麼《The Meyerowitz Stories》是同等級數的自虐自殘! 549Please respect copyright.PENANAkJqXkqbDTp
這些故事都有毒。549Please respect copyright.PENANAVzfdcdQ44G
簡單介紹一下《The Meyerowitz Stories》,一個自私自傲的父親在成長年間到老年期如何迫得個個子女也抓狂的故事。當然,故事集中於他老年退休、入院、出院的時間線上,但從那三個同父異母(對,他父親有四段婚姻,分別與一位妻子生了兩個孩子,另一位生了一個摯愛的小兒子)姐弟日常對答、相處之間,足以刻劃對父母有多愛就有多恨的感情。549Please respect copyright.PENANATE5yyZivxi
講到親子關係,少不了這一句:我們都花時間在治癒童年。父母一個行為、一句話、一態度刻削下來,無論是有心無意,結果或會使我們成為「更好」的人,又或會造成我們不可磨滅的傷害,影響到孩子的未來人格建立、應世處事。549Please respect copyright.PENANARFXlqp6fJY
在父親和大兒子Danny去參加父親故友藝術展時,Danny重遇兒時玩伴,交換近況時講到兩人都離婚後,有了以下對話:549Please respect copyright.PENANA7gPjBD5ZH3
549Please respect copyright.PENANAZq0rOotiFF
D:I'm fine. Karen(ex-wife) and I stayed tgt until Eliza went to school, but also, I just didn't want to do what my dad did ,you know? failed marriages and ever worry we're doing the same things as them?549Please respect copyright.PENANAv0et53rXBo
(我還行。前妻和我一直住在同一屋簷下,直到女兒上大學。但我並不想重蹈老爸的覆轍,你懂嗎?失敗的婚姻,失敗的⋯⋯我很擔心我們正在做一樣的錯事。)549Please respect copyright.PENANAbyR04yUz68
L: But we're so different, Danny. 549Please respect copyright.PENANA9x1SNoZC3x
(但我們和他們太不一樣了!Danny)549Please respect copyright.PENANA2U4cqwymNU
D : You think so? 549Please respect copyright.PENANADp8vy8SjJL
(你是這樣認為嗎?)549Please respect copyright.PENANAl3ji2pTwva
L : So different . we were raised like animals. my worry is we're too different. we're too close to our kids, don't you think? Parents shouldn't be best friends with their kids. I mean, I don't think my girls are ever gonna move out.549Please respect copyright.PENANABZYKzBqkOy
(大不同!我們被當成動物放養,我反而擔心我們和孩子太親近了,難道你不這麼認為嗎?父母不應該是孩子的摯友,我的意思是⋯⋯我不認為我的女兒有搬出去的一天。)549Please respect copyright.PENANAoMupbNMdXE
D : I secretly hope that with Eliza, but unfortunately she seems pretty healthy in that area.549Please respect copyright.PENANAzA6B425sN0
(但我暗裡希望女兒別離開我,不過顯然她相當適應新的生活。) 549Please respect copyright.PENANA1z5gXO0McD
當然,這般對話當中涉及到西方父母希望孩子能獨立(搬出去),甚於孝養在家照顧的文化。但這段對話同時可見當我們無可避免重蹈父母覆轍時,在這些錯誤當中承受的痛,讓我們多多少少也想扭轉當中的狀況。所以,有人會和子女更親近,有人會犧牲事業陪子女成展,有人會犧牲子女興趣給他們更她,有人選擇不婚不育不禍害。549Please respect copyright.PENANADQPw2eH4K5
而這狀況,在《The Meyerowitz Stories》三姐弟中也有出現,他們希望成為比父親更好的人,但同時他們又無法克制自己討好父親,繼續戰戰兢兢與心裡巨人形象越發崩壞的父親相處。549Please respect copyright.PENANAPO9DEQ8XGL
這是一種煎熬,而這故事將當中的無奈、淒酸寫的透透。549Please respect copyright.PENANAMboETJriMB
當然,你可以說「天下無不是之父母。」、「別責怪你的父母,他們養你育你,供書教學。」、「你爸媽對你有做什麼十惡不赦的嗎?」什麼的。549Please respect copyright.PENANA4hIznU3tkF
我想要不你命好,要不你也是孝文化洗腦下的受害者。549Please respect copyright.PENANAAhHcXHU14Y
戲末Danny 躺在醫院和弟弟聊天一席話能答到你所謂淒酸、傷痕是什麼:549Please respect copyright.PENANAjwDjfrt4TN
「Sometimes I wish dad had done one horrible unforgivable thing. Something specific I could be angry about.... but it isn't one thing. it's tiny things everyday. it's drip drip drip....」 549Please respect copyright.PENANAzDEopZvJ9O
(有時我希望父親做了那麼一件十惡不赦的事,能叫我生氣,無法原諒他。但並不是因為特別的一件事,而是一件件瑣事,日積月累,永無止境……)549Please respect copyright.PENANAycdD7Ubliw
不如公平一點,既然講華夏文化,「鐵柱磨成針」、「滴水能穿石」不是同一道理嗎?為什麼不不承認失望、小小傷害日積月累,也可以成為最後一根稻草,一壓下來,命可以斷,關係也壓得斷?549Please respect copyright.PENANAFZoHdDQ8Rf
讓我們再公平些,人確是無完人,所以天下不會有無不是之父母。如果為人父母只講權威,只講物質,又或只講自己⋯⋯那真的別將「我還為你付出不夠嗎?」問出口,別自取其辱。乾脆點別生孩子,養隻狗,花時間教他指令,保證聽聽話話。549Please respect copyright.PENANAuyhJ3IpNr4
又,我覺得《The Meyerowitz Stories》最溫馨的地在於無論是最得寵的小兒子,還是最受㨁壓的兒女,到頭來也一樣受到了父親的傷害,也因為負傷面對往後人生,也一樣到長大以討好想換父愛而失落,也一樣擁有無可取替的手足成為對方的支撐。最後,他們父親也只少留了一份最好的禮物給他們。549Please respect copyright.PENANA16F7Cc852d