Prompt: Write a romance story which involves a bracelet, 'unicorn', 'you're toast', delinquents, and a happy ending704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsru9TUIyV
This is the part where I say, I love you.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWriud5I03N
I open my mouth, draw in a deep breath, and am promptly knocked unconscious by a delicate china coffee cup disagreeing with my temple. I'm not sure which one shattered first.
Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if it were a story.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfB1P9Drb9T
First of all, it would be far more interesting; after all, stories are rarely as boring as my daily routine.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtcB6icJ39M
It goes a bit like this: I wake up at six, I brush my teeth, make breakfast (usually cereal, leftovers from takeaway the night before, or Gladys'), catch an update on the radio, and - oh, stuff it. Even I don't want to hear about that.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mPYGRSSvX
Secondly, I wouldn't always be so bloody miserable. Protagonists in books are hardly ever miserable, and I hope that someday I could amount to something more than the minor character 'annoyed guy across the street', no?704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxZXwSlKGO
Thirdly, I should have had a happy ending by now.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE9JlcKgswB
I mean, seriously, I'm twenty-nine. And as everyone knows, the age of thirty is practically death. I live alone in a small apartment, have a crummy office job, and really not much else. Oh - I'm also in love. But since when has that turned out well in stories? Like, look at that Romeo guy. I think he dies or something.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1keUyGuojn
So honestly, I don't have much going for me, for my life. All my friends (ha! friends) guilt trip me about how lucky I am, but to be blunt I can't help feel every morning and every night that I'm on the short end of the straw. You know, the short side of the bendy straw that gets chewed on and spat out.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aUltq34rM
My mum unfortunately knows this too. She moved into the apartment next to mine to 'keep an eye' on me, to 'lend a hand if you need'. Now in the evenings I'm serenaded by the sweet sounds of her explosive diarrhoea. I'll be filing a thin wall complaint when I get the chance.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VMxAEmTEw
Day in, day out, this is my life.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm66wjV2Wnk
So when is my story going to start?
This is the part where the boy escapes on a Unicorn.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7qtusr7iK
My favorite haunt is a tidy little coffee shop on the corner between work and home called Gladys'. The food is good, the coffee is great, and the service is stunning, thanks to a magnificent woman by the name of Ellie. I've memorized her time schedule and make sure to check in when she's around, which is why I'm an hour late to work every Monday and Thursday. Gorgeous brown eyes, little chocolate beads they are, and hair like a preened horse mane, which I assure you is a compliment of the highest degree. Her voice is just heavenly, although I do admit I've only ever heard her say 'The usual? Coming right up!'. She wears a lovely china bracelet too, little swirls of blue on white that she fiddles with constantly. I find it rather endearing.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoQNRQagbay
It was a fine Saturday - of course it had to be a Saturday that was ruined. You see, I always like to watch Ellie make my coffee - I assume it's because I become slightly mentally unhinged when I am around her. This time, however, I could not enjoy my morning drink due to a particularly disturbing young man.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1iJ2QqGf2Y
Now, he was clearly a criminal of some sort, despite looking no older than nineteen. Heavy leather jacket, metal studded jeans, and a swagger that exuded sheer unjustified arrogance. I noticed him approaching the counter just as I was taking the first sip of my extra hot coffee.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIa4tl6TLAv
'A piece of toast thanks.' He orders.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0mXsSiAWA
'...just toast?' God her voice sounds so soft I could sleep in it.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBlT483xXI
'Yes. Just. Toast.' His, on the other hand, was so rough I could feel his vocal chords being sanded down as he spoke.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUBaF5PTUTh
I watch Ellie as she slips the slice of bread into the toaster, the way her curved finger pushes down the lever. The way she drums her fingers nervously as she waits. Why nervously?704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtiwNzLaL5b
ping!704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5qrssZJMr
'Here you are.' She doesn't look him in the eye as she hands over a plate with a single slice of toast. 'Your toast.'704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsd4bNungM
He doesn't touch it. 'No, Ellie, I've been thinking about those things you said to me - about how I'm too young, how I'm too, what, immature and irresponsible - and I've decided that no, you're toast.'704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9g1rQ0AWmM
A question mark hangs in the air. 'Jonas, what do you mean?' She knows this ugly specimens?704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ySxCcOdXK
'Look.' He picks up the toast, and in one gloved hand, crumbles it into dust that falls meekly onto the counter. 'That's what I'm going to do to you for breaking my heart.' He storms out of Gladys', and, angered by the look of upset on Ellie's pretty face, I make quick pursuit with my coffee in hand.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vtztkezZw
'Hey! Hey, you!' He stops and turns around at the sound of my call.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BX6VCU0XI
'What do you want?' He snarls.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECjNUup9Vt
'I want you to keep your dirty fingers off that girl!' I snap at him in a feeble attempt at intimidation.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiolpaG9Jc
'No no no. That's not how it works. A girl turns down the Jonas Jones on a date, they pay the price.' An infuriating sneer, one clearly tempting me to make a move - and that is an offer I'm not going to turn down. I put my extra hot coffee to better use and throw the entire thing into his face, spoon and all.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bQuhgCwPk
'AIEEEE! You're crazy, man!' His shocked eyes stare at me in disbelief, the attack having startled him enough to turn and flee. I watch as he rounds the corner and clambers onto his motorcycle - a painfully pink hunk of metal with the word Unicorn plastered on the side in blue and white.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimy7gjl484
Smooth.
This is the part where I try Robin Hood on my mother, an adventurous position to put myself in which involves feeling around the front of her dress.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafSTYTjSmh
My obsession with dear Ellie grows, as does my need to see her happy, after the strange encounter with Jonas Jones. I brainstorm gift ideas - she seems awfully fond of the unconventional china bracelet.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmkkHpPe8Q3
My own mother happens to be quite the china connoisseur - her collection of bits and bobs all on display in an IKEA cabinet in her apartment.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNw3KjTAXOB
Now, my average job of tedium was never going to pay for such dainty things, nor, I suppose, will Ellie's, so I felt no moral wrongness in the notion of pulling a Robin Hood on my mum and donating some china pieces to someone who no doubt needs them more. Ahem.
The heist begins with inviting my mum one meter down the corridor to have a 'life chat' with me, a strange ritual which she usually enforces on me once a month. Five laxative pills dissolved into the hot chocolate I've made so lovingly for her.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsleOCy3eVP
I bear through the grueling first few minutes of the talk in which she tells me to 'assess where I want to be in three years' but, much to my pleasure, the rant is prematurely interrupted by a rather rude anatomical sound which I won't indulge with a description.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EwTl61XYi
'Dear me!' She hobbles toward my bathroom, but I stop her -704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5F9FzlvfZ
'The flush doesn't work.' I smile.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP79f6Uu4xC
'Oh, dear, dear, dear!' She's hunched over, and she can't reach into the front pocket of her dress - in which lie her room keys.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinfLF6B9eF
'Would you like me to unlock your apartment for you?'704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLaLPqSLOw
'Please!'704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJMRURIpUR
What happened next was unpleasant but necessary. Suffice to say, I retrieved the keys from their storage place, remarkably near my birth place.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6UZvNrVkc
The moment the door to her room was open, she hurried into the bathroom and locked the door - without thinking to show me out first.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdR8FQNbZb
I collect in a bag the nicest of her china collection - IKEA cabinets don't have much security. An assortment of cups and plates and animals, carefully picked to match the color scheme of Ellie's bracelet. Lovely.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XknUMfHh1
I leave the keys on dear mother's bedside table, and quickly desert the premises. The unfortunate woman's bowel structure combined with the help I had given to her digestive system meant that she should be occupied for a while.
This is the part where I abandon my preconceptions of love, abandon my apartment, and abandon my sanity in general.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpuEOCWd0a
I decided I would not return to the apartment. Mum would surely kill me, or worse. So instead, it being a Monday morning, I headed down to Gladys' with a bag going chinkle chinkle tied in red ribbon and a notetag with 'For Ellie' in my finest cursive. Which isn't very fine, mind you, but it's the thought that counts.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9RGmDfH9M
Gladys' was not the most active of places, and it was not difficult to wait for a moment when no one was looking to place the bag on the counter.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqQaTYiOzuO
I sit, and wait, and watch. Could it be that this might win her heart?704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlVkRMZWlqP
She sees the bag, looks around confusedly, and opens it there on the counter. She gasps, looks around confusedly again, and closes the bag before placing it on the shelf beside her.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYyQmJhnIZZ
I walk up to the counter.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnO0ajreoPS
'The usual?' Angelic.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6NpssYU1Gh
'Not quite.' I say. In fact, I decide to abandon all of the usual. I wouldn't be showing up to work today, I wouldn't be doing anything of the sort I usually do.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFA1dR1Efb
Forget everything. This is the part where I say, I love you.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7bQDTi3gt
I open my mouth, draw in a deep breath, and am promptly knocked unconscious by a delicate china coffee cup disagreeing with my temple. I'm not sure which one shattered first.
This is the part where I emerge victorious from a deathly battle against cute fluffy creatures.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUZicZ1LPY
'owwwww...' I rise from the floor with a grunt. Above me stands Jonas Jones, and his band of delinquents. I note the bag of china in his hands - the bloody nerve of him.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmykN2orJUY
'If the JONAS JONES isn't good enough for someone, no one is!' He booms.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7l2p1y6MJO
'Leave her out of this!' I protest, noticing Ellie cowering in the corner of the cafe, the few other people inside watching the course of events with an excited but strangely detached interest. 'Let's take this outside.'704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Q6aEZPcdx
'Let's go, big boy.' He cracks his knuckles.
RABBIT. UNICORN. PUG. They stand by their named motorcycles, Jonas in the center. 'Rabbit' was a tall and scrawny pimply fellow, whereas 'Pug' was a much more rotund beast, but just as unattractive as the former. To be honest, I couldn't catch the resemblance between Jonas and a unicorn, though.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zwNuRhKot
'You boys are going to leave Ellie alone. And her gifts.' Upon feeling a twinge of pain, I quickly added 'And me.'704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsLZ4AyjND
'Make us.' Rabbit pulls out a knife from his pocket.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIblFCTFnd
'Now now, let's play fair - ' but my protest is cut off halfway through by a scream that made the windows of the cafe shake dangerously, threatening to shatter.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0JLL2IXG2
'WHEEERE IIIIIIS MYYYY CHIIIIIIIIIINAAAAAAAAAAA?!?!?!'704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImtelOnMB8
I run into the shop, but the gang is stunned still - and I watch as my mother appears over the horizon, face inflamed red like a microwaving tomato ready to burst.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPDtp2hlPJ
She looks at the bag in Jonas' hands.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6lZyLTohR
Jonas looks down at the bag in his hands.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdB1XdLVcPg
Pug grabs the bag and hides it behind his back.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeaItIn6A4
Mother morphs into her final form and unleashes her rage.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kqMPvpgsF
'AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!' I can't tell among the carnage who the sound is coming from, but I don't care - I turn around to face Ellie, and I grab her hands.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8iQkpDrm4m
'Ellie.' I say, eyes staring into hers.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfA7wOHJ9eL
'Yes?'704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFly77Y6FD
This is the part.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIi7iHDWbd
'I...'704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7K9vBXrx53
'Yes?'704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbXPShlDrt
'Ellie, I luh. I lughhhh. I, I, I lughhhhhhhh - '704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRD8n7ffie
'Oh, shut up.' She lunges forwards and places her lips on mine, and the people in the cafe cheer, drowning out the noise of the scene outside.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEbrlmFDU1
And so it is, that my story ends here for you, and just begins for me, with an unexpected kiss and a declaration of love.704Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVdKXJJvca8
I even think that mother might approve.
This, my friend, is the part where you stop reading.
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