Pierre didn't realise he was crying.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡj7Oh0iHYTK 維尼

As he listened to what Max was telling him, memories started filling in on what truly happened that night. He remembered it all, from the fight to the lullaby.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡee3B8qcIQi 維尼

He was the one who sang it.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtdOtEtxWB 維尼

And that promise.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡDH0HoIC9KI 維尼

He had made a promise to his brother – and he had unknowingly broken it.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRczkagp39 維尼

He hadn't remembered them then, but everything became vivid now.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJQFrNNeMo 維尼

On the night they left, his mother hadn't meant to abandon him. He remembered how he felt the morning after, waking up only to find his brother gone, his stuffed animal missing and even his blanket. Max never went anywhere without them ever since he was little. He tried to remember what happened the night before, but it was hazy. And then he couldn't find his mother – he searched their room and most of her clothes weren't there either.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡAA3oZ2HohZ 維尼

Pierre had panicked and ran around the house and garden wondering where his mother and brother were. He thought it was puzzling to find his father sipping the morning coffee like everything was fine.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡkLbJ1KEzSu 維尼

That was the day his life had been turned around. He tried searching for them, tried asking around but his father had found out and he was grounded. He was told that his mother had to visit a distant relative, but he didn't quite believe it because she never leave without him. A couple of weeks later, he was told his mother had cheated and ran away with Max.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡHrvdi2mLWQ 維尼

For some reason, he had believed that.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8btMMMX5M 維尼

But now, now he knew the truth. His mother had always loved him – and Max didn't mean to disappear on him either. They didn't abandoned him.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGHPKntW2v 維尼

He remembered feeling angry and used, feeling like he wasn't worth anyone's love…but those were all misguided. All those anger…those were solely because of his father – because he resented the man who could act as if nothing was amiss, and that he didn't do something to stop them.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ40W1YsgOqh 維尼

It was his father who chased them out.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡpujBP0AhAZ 維尼

All these while, he thought he was unwanted. That he should have felt angry at Max and his mother for leaving him, but he couldn't muster the anger anymore.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5og3QZc0LU 維尼

It wasn't that it meant little to him – the first few years of his life after that had been an unhappy one. But that was because he tried to numb himself, to disentangle himself from such painful emotions and memory.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡAU14CHg038 維尼

For the most part, it worked. But the longing and wondering never really went away.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡENA7pp8hIs 維尼

It wasn't mama's and Max's fault.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡTS3s0yx28e 維尼

He looked up at Max, whom was also crying silently. It still pained him till this day. It was painful for them both.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡFlD7WpEzri 維尼

"I'm sorry," Pierre said brokenly, his voice thick with emotion. "I didn't know. I didn't know what happened. He told me something else. That night…it felt like a false memory and I can't believe I didn't remember it all. I shouldn't have believed him."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡSFsv3oKmGv 維尼

Max shook his head before he rubbed his face with his sleeve. He cleared his throat.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAosK7mHfR 維尼

"Mama told me everything. What she could. I don't know why he only took you but it hadn't been easy for us. Tetya Yelena told us we could live with her but things weren't the same anymore. I missed you, you know." Then he asked, almost accusingly, "Did you ever missed us?"8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡuWCnaEYL4Q 維尼

Pierre took a shuddering breath before he could answer. He was shaken by what he knew – what he could finally remember. It was worse because he had been there that night. But there had been a gap in his memories, because he had been trying to forget what happened afterwards.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡDL7DlT4Lqr 維尼

"All the time. Everyday." He said when his breath was even. "I was miserable. I didn't know where you and mama were. I tried looking everywhere but he wouldn't tell me. I tried what I could but a couple of days later, we flew to Scotland. I was always invisible to him."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡpM0fyZfrd5 維尼

Funny, all these time Max wanted to know if his brother was miserable without them, but now that he knew, he didn't feel the satisfaction he thought he would. He sat on the bench by the tree and sighed.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡC94zGWiT4g 維尼

His face was pale and nose red, he couldn't believe he had broken down in front of his brother.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6GZmLDFDN 維尼

More shockingly, he didn't think Pierre would cry in front of him either. His brother had always tried to mask everything…but that was then. Maybe he had changed – no, he thought. Pierre did change, and he hated that they were in the same boat. If he did lead a good life, he would have more reason to despise him – but they were really just victims.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡe4LAAKKjJ6 維尼

"Not always," Max said, looking over the lake distantly. "He favoured you. I thought you were trying to get his attention back then but even if you hadn't, he would have looked at you either way. And the proof is that he chose you in the end."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡVluDVeLacz 維尼

Pierre looked up at him. His old man would always be his father, but he hadn't felt a strong affection for him. Not for a long time. And though he wanted to rebuke what Max said, that surely their father loved them both equally, after knowing everything, could he even say that with certainty?8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68E6AbP1th 維尼

He remembered his father listening to him whenever he had something to say back then, and he thought it was the same for Max too. Then, he frowned. He also remembered Max sometimes being ignored when he tried to come along with them whenever they were out.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡXjI6ahlyjZ 維尼

If he wasn't already ridden with guilt and regret, hearing Max say that with so much hurt and knowing that it happened brought on another wave.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡP6gZ8RYU6p 維尼

"Max, I don't know what his motives were for leaving you behind. I'm not going to lie and say I do. You say that he favours me… but it feels more like I'm just an heir to succeed him, rather than a son."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡfi62PKb5z2 維尼

Max raised a brow at him, offended. "Are you saying that you have it worst with him?"8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2PERDCLqY 維尼

Pierre's eyes widened. He shook his head. "No, of course not. I'm not comparing what we went through. I just...maybe he doesn't really care about me at all."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡOe0xUTgeaW 維尼

Max didn't seem to believe him and Pierre cursed himself internally. Here they were, trying to confront their past and everything in between, but he felt like he had created a gap between them. They were a width apart yet it feels like they were still an ocean away.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9QRmMfa9Qw 維尼

All at once, questions niggled at him. How did they live? What happened afterwards? Did their mother continue to look for him? How was she after all these years? Hearing Parker telling him that she had depression knocked the breath out of him. She wasn't well. Did anyone care for her? Does father even know?8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLeQQiDjk6 維尼

He wanted to know everything.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdxDxb5DZV 維尼

"Max, please. Tell me…what happened after that night?"8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIurBCTF5N 維尼

Max took a seat on the bench by the lake. If he were to be honest, he was already drained in just a day – from his thoughts, the call and his phone, and finally meeting his twin alone and revisiting that time.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLzCM0xFZH 維尼

He also suddenly didn't have the strength to keep hating on Pierre in that moment.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡv9uK5KU5QM 維尼

It was waning, and it confused him how he could hold on to such strong emotion all these years, but now that he saw him, it was like everything that he thought of him didn't matter. And was he still blaming Pierre?8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡaomG9tzXGw 維尼

Was he really just putting up a false front that he was angry at Pierre, so his brother wouldn't think that he was completely forgiven?8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡTOy7HJjp38 維尼

They were kids. He proved to not know anything much when they spoke at the dinner.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaigsvYSco 維尼

He exhaled a breath before glancing at him, saying, "Mama thought she'd see you again, that we'd all be able to spend some time together, but when there was no news from…him, she started to get frantic. She had brought the case to court but like he told her, she didn't stand a chance. I didn't know this back then, but during the times she would talk about the past, she told me that he threatened her about uncle Vasily, and then later she heard that you...you didn't want to see her." Max directed his cold gaze at him, as if telling him that had brought another wave of loathe towards him.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9uvyazZ3C8 維尼

Pierre's heart stop for a beat. He…didn't want to see his mother? What the fuck? He would never!8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfRWpvPHz1 維尼

Did their old man really said that to her? That was sick. Pierre felt anger boiling within him.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXCetL4rm5 維尼

Max's expression relaxed a little upon seeing that Pierre was as shocked as he was when he first found out. So their father lied again – he was starting to believe that Pierre really didn't know anything about what went on. For a moment, Max felt sorry for his brother.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEiUliKEHw 維尼

Pierre felt dread – the more Max told him, the more his heart ache. His mother…did she really believed that he wouldn't want to see her again?8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡknDnQlnKw0 維尼

"I really didn't know all this. I didn't know he told her that. He didn't tell me anything."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRZsl9vWdi 維尼

"I figured that's not true now. But she believed it…we both did." Then he shook his head, a humourless smile on his face. "But Katya and Parker didn't, said they knew you weren't like that. I probably should have believed them too, but I was hurt."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7TxM5DhJTj 維尼

And then Max's tone took on one that sounded distant, as though he had travelled to that time again. "She…tried to take her own life. I saw her."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOp6F0k2vr 維尼

It was like being doused in cold water...that inkling of dread when he heard Parker telling them how Max had witnessed something he shouldn't have seen. The thought had crossed his mind and Max had just confirmed what he feared.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HP48lqDSF 維尼

Pierre felt lightheaded and he staggered a step back. His mother tried to end her life. Because of him. And his father.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUj27smYoS 維尼

Pierre felt sick. He wanted to beg for her forgiveness, to tell her he was sorry he had been thinking ill or her, that he didn't try hard enough to dig the truth and find her, that he drove her to the edge.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLjPtQPT5C 維尼

His body wracked in sobs again, although he sought to control it.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnzRmCbdxq 維尼

How could he live all these time knowing now that his mother had been suffering because of them?8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVUs5oreG4 維尼

Max's voice was a whisper, his eyes watery and dazed, expression haunted. Pierre felt spooked. Again, there was that sharp pain. He didn't like seeing that on Max, it made him looked ghostly and he wanted to shake him back to the present. To stop hurting in the past.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdnlUu0Z2J 維尼

"I got back home after school one day, and there was no one but her alone." Max's voice trembled. "When I went to check on her, I saw…she…" His voice cracked and ended in a sob and it tore at Pierre's heart. It's so painful. Don't say it anymore.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡFDn0MNCzkM 維尼

But Max continued, his expression held by the memories and ghost of the past.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfCgs2DV9p 維尼

"I was terrified, Pierre. There were so many pills. If I hadn't returned in that moment, I could have lost her."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡwradUjTuvs 維尼

Oh, Heavens.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡdcHxBRcJPd 維尼

Pierre couldn't take it anymore. Swiftly, he went forward and pull Max into his arms, hugging him tightly – the brother he had lost all those years but now found again.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡHsgLxvifG3 維尼

The fear that snaked through Pierre grew intense and he cried for everything that had happened to them. He couldn't take away the pain they've gone through, the pain Max had gone through but he thought he could share them. Absorb them so the burden and all that was heavy would lessen from Max. He wanted Max emptied from these painful reminders of their past.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡipSzEElCk1 維尼

They shouldn't have to go through that. None of these would have happened if they hadn't left back then.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHyKhbkQrH 維尼

Pierre blamed himself. Yet, he felt an immense amount of anger towards his old man too. Fucking hell. He made them this way, made him this way.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUjFJR20Tl 維尼

Max was shocked when Pierre brought him into an embrace, but then…it was as if a switch had been pulled and he felt overwhelmed. Everything that he had gone through, pain and raw emotions, they couldn't be contained anymore.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Xo1Y3bf3A 維尼

He cried and sobbed in Pierre's arms, not knowing that he had needed this all along. Not realising that a single embrace from him would make him release all of that pent up emotions.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19Ha6q0J5z 維尼

"It's so painful. I was so scared. I was so fucking scared of being alone. She's all I have left."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡVs0C3ZJ6QA 維尼

Pierre stood there with Max, both letting out years of agony out of the system. Somewhere in the distance, lightning flashed and thunders grumbled. He hadn't realised that the weather had turned grey.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCi8sn2pGx 維尼

Minutes stretched, until Pierre couldn't tell how long they stood there. He didn't care. Max shuddered in his arms, his breath hitched and coming in gasps.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8V7hQj3AXv 維尼

It reminded Pierre that he used to comfort Max like this when they were little. It was so long ago.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡNz35OEtUzv 維尼

When Max seemed calm now, he slowly let go of him and rubbed his tears away. In unintended unison, Max and Pierre both fell back onto the bench; Max leaning against it and letting out a deep breath, shaking. He felt briefly embarrassed– he hadn't wept openly at Pierre in years – but he was emotionally drained and just tired of keeping up appearances.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Yz5VIOZho 維尼

Pierre took full breaths as he sat on the edge of the seat, before he exhaled. Hands hung on his knees, he turned slightly towards his brother.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6cSzOCdTM 維尼

"How are you feeling?"8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDOicVBci5 維尼

Max could only nod after a moment.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡqk28fcP7PB 維尼

Pierre did the same and then said a beat later, "You have me too." He said almost softly.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡfbWzx67ZJ8 維尼

Max frowned a little. "What?"8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPGdvuhVNm 維尼

Pierre cleared his throat and repeated a little louder. "You have me too. I'm here now. I know I'm years too late but you're not alone. I'm…sorry I broke our promise but we'll get through this together." He told Max sincerely, and hoping his brother wouldn't push him away this time. "If you'll let me."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lG1BmhiyP 維尼

Max couldn't say anything in that moment. If anyone had told him that he would hear his brother apologising to him and wanting to reunite again, he wouldn't have believed them.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡzxf1Ls88zU 維尼

He felt floored and relieved. All those pent up anger and frustration disappeared when he let them all out. Now, he couldn't even put a name to those feelings – he was truly exhausted and…glad that he didn't have to carry this by himself alone.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6z4EC0BoGU 維尼

He managed a weak smile. "Da, I'm giving you a chance. Don't fuck it up."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfQiPr0FMk 維尼

In the midst of all that was said, Pierre felt his lips twitched a little. Max had just thrown his words back at him, but he didn't mind. "I won't."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7jrgNobtr 維尼

They spoke for a little longer after that. The atmosphere felt a little less tensioned than when they first spoke, and Pierre thought it was a nice change. He didn't feel much animosity towards Max, or Katya, and even Parker anymore. He asked about how it was like there, how their mother was doing now, and if his relatives missed him too. After what almost happened, they got her diagnosed years ago and she was on treatment. Sometimes their mother was fine and they would go on a picnic or Max would help her sell flowers – Pierre learned it was something his mother liked to do. But on some days, she was withdrawn. Max tried his best alongside his relatives to engage with her, to pull her from the dark cloud she was living in. It hadn't been easy but he didn't give up, and neither did his relatives.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡtI2JckO6S8 維尼

Pierre was really grateful knowing that his mother had support and care over there. She wasn't abandoned…and she was still doing okay.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡwKeoDB53zK 維尼

"Did he know? About mama?" Pierre asked. He didn't know what he would if Max told him their father knew but never did a thing.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsU0d5KXXu 維尼

Max was quiet before he replied, "No, I don't think so."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡzNqYuxs6JO 維尼

So the old man didn't know. Did he really not care about their mother? It had always been about work...but this was borderline obsession.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡqKumLTe33Q 維尼

"All these time, are you angry because of our promise, or is there something more? What happened between you and athair?" Pierre asked just as the thought came to mind.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡjh5OD4c2gI 維尼

Max took in a breath and exhaled it. "It was both. Well, it is for one of them now." He glanced at Pierre before looking at the sky then out the lake. They should probably leave soon before it rains. "I'm angry at him for what he did to her. To us. And I want to know why he treated me like I didn't exist."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5zA0aGQha 維尼

Pierre looked at him. "I want to know why too. We'll get to the bottom of this, Max."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GOsg2rdmr 維尼

The two brothers stayed quiet for a moment. There were so many things running in their mind but one thing was certain: They had come to a truce and it felt like there was new hope unravelling within them.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡfY8JRuYkPn 維尼

Max then chuckled softly. "Do you remember the lullaby you sang? The one about two brother cubs staying together and finding their way back home?"8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5oIsCjJGo 維尼

A warm smile stretched on Pierre's lips and he nodded. "Why?"8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡq81QPIVAMh 維尼

Max shook his head. "I just thought that we were like them. We found our way back together."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡntiGfapRFw 維尼

Pierre was pensive, before he said. "Not quite. Together, yes but…we still have a long way to go home."8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOPucs04nL 維尼

After spending some time with Max, they separated ways; Max decided to go home for the day while Pierre needed time to think. Despite all they have said, he didn't want to push Max out of his comfort zone.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡc7zO9d5w97 維尼

And they had just made up – he also didn't know how to act around him yet. Parting again felt awkward and for a moment, they stood in silence before Max said he'll see him around. Pierre couldn't describe the feeling he felt then, and he was certain he had a huge smile on his face.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡzzdPIKhWAo 維尼

We're alright now.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Hlv6dxqP1 維尼

He was exhausted with everything that just transpired. He contemplated whether he should crash in the library or go back to his room but then remembered that he had been meaning to hit the arena.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8LM04vZrU 維尼

I'm so fucking drained today.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡvIUYECilTS 維尼

Pierre changed his mind. After what he learned from seeing Katya and Max, he just needed to recoup his mental strength and think through everything; feeling sorry for everything yet relieved that Max and him were trying to get better, wondering what Parker was going to tell him next, and most importantly, how he was going to surprise his old man someday.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡGK3PPkr0lq 維尼

Practice could wait.8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzN0tE3ITr 維尼

A/N: What did you think of everything? Please let me know in the reviews. Your feedbacks are greatly appreciated :)8964 copyright protection445ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35CL8myQCh 維尼

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