這是一扇門。門上沒有刻畫任何圖案,甚至連最簡單的一豎一橫也沒有。它,只是一扇平實的門。門後的客飯廳也是平實非常,不講究甚麼室內設計,只是桌、椅、櫃等等基本傢俱。再深入一點兒,是睡房。曾經,那兒有一個嬰孩,天天躺在床上,接受眾人的祝福。睡房旁的主人房,有一對深愛著對方的夫妻…666Please respect copyright.PENANA4u5cCgRq0N
666Please respect copyright.PENANABiCmP0fM2J
這扇門,守護著這個家已有二十多個年頭。門後的傢俱,形還在,但神髓不再。看著滿屋落寞的傢俱和滿桌冰冷的飯餸,夏瑜忍不住掉下淚來。這些眼淚,不是給別人看的,而是給她自己看的,好讓自己在情在理上都成為「受害者」。666Please respect copyright.PENANA33xYjJ4wsM
666Please respect copyright.PENANA4ILj99lDfR
以「受害者」身份流的眼淚,洗滌了夏瑜心裡的污垢。她不再是一個不稱職的妻子,因為她是「受害者」;她不再是一個橫蠻無理的母親,因為她是「受害者」…一切罪過都被原諒,因為她是一個流淚中的「受害者」…666Please respect copyright.PENANAue2lqk9sVg
666Please respect copyright.PENANAyF4nY1NlGG
望著空洞的家,夏瑜在心裡問了句:「我做錯了甚麼?」猛然,女兒思瑤和丈夫振邦的臉在她腦海中閃過。他們的臉,是憤怒的、猙獰的、憂傷的…一切負面情緒,顯而易見:「你真的做錯了!」
二十多年了,一直安份守己。日出而作,日入未息,一切心力都花在這個家上。日子雖難不苦,因著是自己心甘情願的;很平淡,做菜煮飯、洗衫拖地…這就是她唯一會做的事,不多也不少。666Please respect copyright.PENANAEYs5oKTVba
666Please respect copyright.PENANAEs6B2osKBy
熟練地煮了滿枱飯餸,只等思瑤回來。666Please respect copyright.PENANAcctEzkd6yq
666Please respect copyright.PENANA5wfYQUr1pb
「媽,」席間,思瑤冷冷的道:「我要搬走。」666Please respect copyright.PENANAdkX7IE6aJC
666Please respect copyright.PENANAzZOd5j6PHF
夏瑜呆了,真想不到思瑤還有勇氣提出這個建議。這不是她首次這麼講;她已提出過兩三次,但都被拒絕:「你照顧不了自己的。」666Please respect copyright.PENANA8gdalkXnMI
666Please respect copyright.PENANA9PkfdXKn96
「這真是你心裡頭那句?」思瑤的話,挑動了夏瑜的神經。666Please respect copyright.PENANANVS1pfvuFK
666Please respect copyright.PENANAFuSoFXF3qW
老實講——不是。但夏瑜總是口不對心:「你是甚麼意思?」666Please respect copyright.PENANA68P5mNXO3v
666Please respect copyright.PENANAfPl1OhYakP
「不是怕我走了,你會少了份家用嗎?」思瑤沒正面回答。666Please respect copyright.PENANA71dVg5KAZP
666Please respect copyright.PENANA2NSfJu4oKQ
夏瑜怒不可遏,卻笑了。這正是夏瑜恐怖的地方——她能迅速從一切極端的情緒中冷靜過來。一笑,卻不泯恩仇。666Please respect copyright.PENANAF6tYOTSjVV
666Please respect copyright.PENANARAVLkNi6Pc
這時,夏瑜微笑著問:「為何?」語調間是尖刺般的骨子。666Please respect copyright.PENANAoMOoXLrhKU
666Please respect copyright.PENANAmf7c7xUdST
「因為你。」思瑤直認不諱。666Please respect copyright.PENANAakQRXc993u
666Please respect copyright.PENANAY2p7L9GTQr
「嗯。」夏瑜點點頭:「繼續。」666Please respect copyright.PENANAOCxfa2AYGa
666Please respect copyright.PENANAGIqeskB09L
「你的問題正是覺得自己無任可問題。」思瑤簡潔的答,因為對眼前人,她已瞭解至極——根本不容別人多解釋。666Please respect copyright.PENANAYyY1cixqUo
666Please respect copyright.PENANA425nWoY7be
「就是這樣?」夏瑜嘆了口氣:「你這麼孩子氣的決定,要我怎能答允支持?不——許——」666Please respect copyright.PENANAFDCnCwVdXk
666Please respect copyright.PENANANC2oOA3UEC
「我孩子氣?難道要像你一樣,才不是孩子氣?」思瑤的聲調高了八度。666Please respect copyright.PENANApRmJHe0o86
666Please respect copyright.PENANAqDG5xlEhy8
「用這種態度對待長輩的人,不是孩子氣,是甚麼?」夏瑜保持微笑,心知勝券在握。666Please respect copyright.PENANAzyY50RmS65
666Please respect copyright.PENANARAMcIJT1h4
「我可不是你!老狐狸!」思瑤歇斯底里地大叫。淚水湧滿眼眶,湧滿心頭。666Please respect copyright.PENANA0O52ix0LRp
666Please respect copyright.PENANA1RO7ZaQI4H
夏瑜勝利了;敗北的思瑤則瘋了似的衝入房內,用力甩門。666Please respect copyright.PENANArFwS4VWnjr
666Please respect copyright.PENANADk1JdGUyYQ
瞬間,勝利的笑容化為回憶裡的片段。666Please respect copyright.PENANAUFtTV1DAj5
666Please respect copyright.PENANAyIEi3AAJAv
「我可不是你!老狐狸!」曾幾何時,夏瑜也講過同樣的話,對象正是她的母親。那時的她,比現在的思瑤更年輕,只有十七、八歲。母親是個很傳統的人,一切按照傳統規矩行事。666Please respect copyright.PENANALorwdRjcTT
666Please respect copyright.PENANAYY7JKnq30z
「規矩!規矩!難道我比不上規矩重要?」當時的夏瑜很不忿。666Please respect copyright.PENANAcks9pRKW9A
666Please respect copyright.PENANAaqMUukFfZe
「日後,你也會像我一樣,知道它的重要性。」母親只是語重心長地說,結束了這段影響夏瑜甚深的對話。666Please respect copyright.PENANAEWzCAdPqyl
666Please respect copyright.PENANA184zYrkXVt
現在,她真的像母親一樣,是隻不折不扣的老狐狸。無他,這是命運,每個人必走的路。還記得,她起初時並不相信;但現在卻深信不疑。唯一的不同,是她比母親更狠更絕,因為她親眼看見母親的淒慘下場——丈夫跑了,女兒(夏瑜自己)也離開她。666Please respect copyright.PENANAbyQTttYGfK
666Please respect copyright.PENANAClVyrzhJFM
夏瑜很怕,這真是命運嗎?若然,她必須努力改變,打破宿命。她要比母親強硬,綁著丈夫和女兒。尤其是女兒,她日後也會走上同樣的道路;唯一保護她的方法,就是親身示範如何做一個好女人,甚至要比母親做得更好。666Please respect copyright.PENANAYMj2BxLlLM
666Please respect copyright.PENANAva63JuLV8q
「囡囡又發脾氣嗎?」振邦回來了。666Please respect copyright.PENANAPd958jw6lZ
666Please respect copyright.PENANAznzPQo2kdn
「她現在入睡了。」夏瑜溫柔地微笑著。666Please respect copyright.PENANAoo6hYcBT6J
666Please respect copyright.PENANAEh3PIUabN3
振邦解了領帶,喝著夏瑜煲的湯水,嘆了一口氣:「囡囡太任性了。」666Please respect copyright.PENANAVXXLAobNCS
666Please respect copyright.PENANAJddtINo1jS
「不要緊。」夏瑜搖搖頭:「她日後會明白我的苦心。」666Please respect copyright.PENANAQrJtHpSpOB
666Please respect copyright.PENANANJC2D0gTCp
「對了!」振邦猛然放下湯碗:「今天發薪水了。」他拿出支票。666Please respect copyright.PENANAqyJbW4oS7S
666Please respect copyright.PENANAyXHjCBEOCz
「這些錢用作…」夏瑜喜上眉梢。666Please respect copyright.PENANA5wVsSda5Iv
666Please respect copyright.PENANAPBwgyu5IAm
「是的…」振邦打了個眼色,示意她降低音量,以免讓思瑤聽到。666Please respect copyright.PENANAXUbCoNPVdl
666Please respect copyright.PENANAYGFOQD6vSn
「嗯。」夏瑜的眼神甚為堅定:「我明天去。」666Please respect copyright.PENANArSsfnhRKea
666Please respect copyright.PENANAnTOiJqnwR3
入夜,夏瑜在振邦懷裡,久久不能入睡,一心思量如何應付明天的事。
「今次可以嗎?」振邦見夏瑜回來,高興得很。666Please respect copyright.PENANAy71VUUQcj5
666Please respect copyright.PENANAOHithen1Ly
「可以。」夏瑜看在眼內,卻不是味兒。怎麼振邦會懦弱如此,比自己更不如!昔日,他可是充滿男子氣慨的校園萬人迷;現在,他竟…連見債主的勇氣也沒有,要妻子去!一串串眼淚不自覺的淌下,振邦大驚,輕輕擁她入懷,不停唸:「沒事的…」666Please respect copyright.PENANAkRQlrGKeWa
666Please respect copyright.PENANABxsFKLgAD8
沒事?真的嗎?666Please respect copyright.PENANA7IoJVwfSIx
666Please respect copyright.PENANA8AEZXtuSe4
有時候,夏瑜真的覺得自己太愛振邦,甚至達到不合理的程度;要不然,她怎會隻身走到那龍蛇混雜的鬼地方,替他還錢予高利貸。說真的,她很害怕,尤其是那放高利貸的男人。他雙眼總愛盯著她的胸脯,感覺很嘔心。666Please respect copyright.PENANAnofgsoqUAf
666Please respect copyright.PENANADRVzjZOVZf
電視劇裡的男主角,總是站在女主角面前,為她擋箭;但為何振邦卻是躲在自己身後,要自己擋子彈呢?越想越不明白…666Please respect copyright.PENANAQThccyPOTb
666Please respect copyright.PENANA7cSf2P5mHo
沒事?真的嗎?666Please respect copyright.PENANAuX0NCqX1Qt
666Please respect copyright.PENANA7SFnmID0Zq
往後的日子,夏瑜待振邦的態度並沒改變,只是心裡的情感卻複雜多了——不是不愛他,只是沒那麼愛。666Please respect copyright.PENANA5mPCRHcCQJ
666Please respect copyright.PENANAOI2UY7HqZv
就在沒那麼愛他的同時,她也懷疑,他已不如從前的愛她。666Please respect copyright.PENANAZzpAUmEZbR
666Please respect copyright.PENANAglCmQctDhR
她照照鏡,心中只覺戚然。上一次認真照鏡,已是二十多年前,自己出嫁前一日的事。那時的她,二十多歲,青春逼人。臉部肌膚白裡透紅,沒黑眼圈,沒色斑,簡直是個大美人。披上嫁衣,更見明艷照人。666Please respect copyright.PENANAeVRIWR7kAs
666Please respect copyright.PENANAdDb14MMMBC
可是現在,「黃面婆」、「師奶」、「阿嬸」等稱呼聲,此起彼落,不絕於耳。但不能怪別人無口德,因這是事實…難怪所有男人都喜歡年輕貌美的小女生!666Please respect copyright.PENANAHrg1KW4ick
666Please respect copyright.PENANAJnZD9sQOAA
她沒有哭,因振邦出軌一事並有任何實質證據;但這想法卻不知不覺間植根於她腦海裡,久久不散。666Please respect copyright.PENANAAefmTj7r6L
666Please respect copyright.PENANAojcLXuc9fj
「絕不能胡思亂想!」夏瑜對自己說:「二十多年來的日夕相對,感情一定不會是假的!他一定還愛我!」這是自我安慰嗎?自我催眠嗎?666Please respect copyright.PENANA3W31vIfrBU
666Please respect copyright.PENANA45YWIqIULw
振邦沒有錯,但自己有錯嗎?為何要獨自承受這種不該存在的壞念頭?真的很辛苦,但卻證明了自己仍是在乎他的,愛他的,所以更不能直接問他或旁敲側擊,以免破壞家的和諧。666Please respect copyright.PENANALyfVXPrQhs
666Please respect copyright.PENANAiTV9AscPbQ
夏瑜提著沉甸甸的食材,好不容易才回到家。從菜市場到家的路上,她幾近走一步停兩秒,把時間枉花在「胡思亂想」上。結果十五分鐘的腳程,變了近四十五分鐘的。666Please respect copyright.PENANACGyxfjT5pE
666Please respect copyright.PENANAaoTECZcMFs
她很累,只及把大門和鐵閘輕掩,便軟癱在地,毫不猶豫大哭起來。但一切的辛酸並沒隨淚水流走,哭聲只把她的心神推向更極端——振邦不愛她了。
「思瑤已離家出走七天,難道你不擔心嗎?」振邦的聲音幾近尖叫。666Please respect copyright.PENANATlqghmLbrQ
666Please respect copyright.PENANAt3wDUwTwq6
「嗯。」夏瑜無力的發了一粒音。666Please respect copyright.PENANA0aM9ZT0rP0
666Please respect copyright.PENANAshJf4FJ33i
說真的,夏瑜憂心的程度絕不遜於振邦;但這刻的她只感到無力。既然思瑤立心出走,自然不會輕易被找到——夏瑜實在無能為力。666Please respect copyright.PENANAXp7pgXXUje
666Please respect copyright.PENANA74k0CrUcmU
「怎麼辦?」振邦仍在來回踱步,重覆的腳步聲教人心煩。666Please respect copyright.PENANA0l8L9FJiEz
666Please respect copyright.PENANAgvZ8t8Otdp
「隨她吧!」夏瑜絕望了:「就當這個人沒存在過吧!」666Please respect copyright.PENANA42NzvrSfnY
666Please respect copyright.PENANAYIX45UcW82
要不然,怎麼辦!666Please respect copyright.PENANAUJIpKFoeE0
666Please respect copyright.PENANAy5jf0deILc
回憶當初,其實一切皆有跡可尋;問題是,夏瑜一直不認為思瑤會那麼做——思瑤只是個無能的小朋友!但事實是,思瑤不單實踐了,更成功地摧毀了夏瑜的第一道防線。666Please respect copyright.PENANA3nVLpm6wyN
666Please respect copyright.PENANAHGPilVgqlC
夏瑜從沙發霍然立起,懶理仍在踱步的振邦,逕自到思瑤的房間去。666Please respect copyright.PENANAf1EyNImo3N
666Please respect copyright.PENANA8aYWQMKixF
二十多年前,仍在襁褓的思瑤,多可愛!對媽媽笑吧!笑…但日漸長大的她,不但失去了那可愛的笑容,還會哭、說謊、鬧情緒…好好的一個孩子,怎會變成這樣?是因為自己嗎?思瑤已不只一次說恨自己,為何自己還沒改變的意識?666Please respect copyright.PENANAWCnsAZEfW1
666Please respect copyright.PENANAW8d905G7PY
「你的問題正是覺得自己無任何問題。」666Please respect copyright.PENANA34WUt95z67
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不!不是這樣的!666Please respect copyright.PENANAqrAcSAuFLT
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「藉口!」666Please respect copyright.PENANADfADfCEQna
666Please respect copyright.PENANA3HbecbSqdF
思瑤的聲音清晰可聞,但人卻不在身邊…666Please respect copyright.PENANAIwFpEr856V
666Please respect copyright.PENANAwQvqt95K3F
悲極的哭聲,原來是那樣的乾涸,只是喉頭發出「呀…呀…」心不覺痛,因為已被痛苦同化了,混為一體;眼淚沒法再流,隨之而來的是血水。赤紅色的世界,本該是喜氣洋洋的,但夏瑜卻看不見自己…666Please respect copyright.PENANAFJL9eYMU2Y
666Please respect copyright.PENANAgHJxB9GiD7
昏——倒——666Please respect copyright.PENANAXKMBR2Zwu8
666Please respect copyright.PENANACN5NgX1mlY
醒來的時候,雙眼已被矇起來,但仍可清楚聽到振邦的聲音:「眼疾?會盲?」666Please respect copyright.PENANAo650EU8ccj
666Please respect copyright.PENANAHhrYW1IvmX
夏瑜聽畢,全身發抖。可是,不消一秒,她又冷靜過來:「眼不見為淨。」心自在多了。666Please respect copyright.PENANAfjvVxf2IQa
666Please respect copyright.PENANAF8W38ZZHWO
既然思瑤不願見到她,她也不欲見到思瑤;既然振邦對她生厭,她也不要見到他!666Please respect copyright.PENANALQmTmZQjV7
666Please respect copyright.PENANAVYkiIpNqu6
出院後,仍需矇著雙眼的夏瑜由振邦攙扶回家。這個曾經熟悉的家,竟於一日之間變得異常陌生。但夏瑜並不感到害怕,因為一切都在掌握之內。666Please respect copyright.PENANAwgYni7YyoW
666Please respect copyright.PENANA49a53TVEpM
「振邦,你走吧!我不要你留在我身邊!」666Please respect copyright.PENANALrTZsJoZWV
666Please respect copyright.PENANAnDuCfn1uz9
「怎麼了?」振邦吃了一驚:「你不用怕負累我呢!」666Please respect copyright.PENANAhpeIHi9LVe
666Please respect copyright.PENANA6nWJpg05KK
「你走吧!」夏瑜面不改容:「我不愛你了。」666Please respect copyright.PENANAPMUdTtEEHa
666Please respect copyright.PENANAX75JYpDjX7
「不要這麼講…」振邦後後擁著夏瑜:「不要…」666Please respect copyright.PENANAxYUV7WwIiU
666Please respect copyright.PENANAYqJ31okqph
「我不要一個只懂躲在我身後的男人。」夏瑜嘴角泛起笑意,因為她感受到振邦顫抖的身軀:「難道在我瞎了以後,你仍繼續要我代你還債?」666Please respect copyright.PENANAcoDM4HfKdf
666Please respect copyright.PENANA73QIYZNwIz
振邦沒答話。666Please respect copyright.PENANANksvznLEse
666Please respect copyright.PENANAFiUl8RITD0
夏瑜的表情更得意:「說中了吧!你根本不愛我;你只是利用我,要我控制思瑤的財政,然後再加上我的錢去還你的債…」666Please respect copyright.PENANABS0RAulsAU
666Please respect copyright.PENANAxjePhdLKp6
未幾,振邦鬆開手,頭也不回,離家了。
在振邦離開後的一星期,夏瑜的眼疾被治癒了。但夏瑜並不感到高興——她根本無法面對現在的家。666Please respect copyright.PENANARg0BIML9x1
666Please respect copyright.PENANAbATmVbYwNu
望著空洞的家,她在心裡問了句:「我做錯了甚麼?」666Please respect copyright.PENANAbd05QxLUaG
666Please respect copyright.PENANAlsT8Mzm3YC
也許,最錯的是思瑤流著她的血;也許,最錯的是她流著母親的血;也許,最錯的是母親流著外祖母的血…666Please respect copyright.PENANA483xt29ueJ
666Please respect copyright.PENANAxudi30EoLX
也許,夏瑜這輩子都找不到答案。666Please respect copyright.PENANAR0RBljt4Sm