Jae Starling asked no questions and came to my aid like he had on that Sunday morning -when he took me to the hospital, it was evident that my parents would soon be there too.379Please respect copyright.PENANAt0pajUzri1
When they arrived that night, Jae came to my rescue when he shrugged my injury off as, "just a quad bike accident, Mr. Burchart." he told my dad.379Please respect copyright.PENANAJMBXU4YC2i
I was happy that he covered for me despite me refusing to tell him what had happened. Since the Saturday of Heather Rory's party, Jae and I hadn't talked about what both, Alexa and Heather, thought of our individual disappearances or why the both of us had let them believe that we were together that night. Of course I wasn't about to point it out, reminding myself that Jae Starling knew more secrets about me than anyone else in Bloomfield, so I allowed the secret to linger between only us. 379Please respect copyright.PENANAKC7rDf0RZk
So many secrets had followed me to Bloomfield, I hadn't thought of the consequence regarding the domestic life. I came to the realization, that the very reason for my enjoying our previous lifestyle, was the fact that no one really got to know me and all the baggage I dragged along. I longed for that life again because even though I tried to forget, I had confessed my biggest secret to Graeme Yorkley.379Please respect copyright.PENANAUfzpQ141sg
I stayed home for the rest of the week, both my mom and Coach Byrd had me on a schedule to recovery in order to compete, principal Johnson allowed it for the sake of his prestigious academy.379Please respect copyright.PENANAnWPZPMjlyt
On Friday morning, when I had woken up to the juice blender echoing through the halls of our home, I was disappointed to receive nothing from Graeme in two days and I knew he had heard about my quad bike accidentand was probably mad that people now officially started gossiping about Jae and I.379Please respect copyright.PENANAeDYMtZcuRj
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It was my fault, I made a habit of running away it seemed and I knew it. I wanted to convince myself that he was turned off by my confession, but that would've been my self destructive nature convincing me so.379Please respect copyright.PENANArk9JpGS7jI
It was the lessons from the world that made me and I couldn't just change how guarded I was but, I knew I had to. Graeme had really tried to open himself up to me and I hadn't accepted all the changes that cornered me so suddenly.379Please respect copyright.PENANA55tAEOsp0q
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I was still hurting, I concluded, I hadn't made peace, I had not yet moved on. It was why I couldn't generate a healthy relationship, or a relationship in general, with anybody. So, like never done before, I did what needed to be done.379Please respect copyright.PENANATQURdJaNAe
"I'm sorry about yesterday." I texted him.379Please respect copyright.PENANARw7yugNycb
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"It's okay." I was happy to receive an instant reply. "I know how hard it is to trust someone. I'm happy you trust me."379Please respect copyright.PENANAjNT8sW4ryu
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"You still want this? I'm complicated."379Please respect copyright.PENANAMIXfAToBPH
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"Complicated? I'd say strong."379Please respect copyright.PENANACTmYM91T4m
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"Too much baggage."379Please respect copyright.PENANA3tPi6JiYUs
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"My date to the ball we're about to skip tonight?"379Please respect copyright.PENANAYPSTDf8bOa
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I smiled and lately it had all been because of Graeme Yorkley. "It's a date." I replied back and immediately wondered how I was going to pass my mother.379Please respect copyright.PENANARJQXAijHru
The afternoon soon came and I was grateful after an entire morning of physio. Mom finally went about her daily errands and mentioned something working on a business plan with whomever it was she mentioned. I only focused on her leaving.379Please respect copyright.PENANAMDfpfC2FTy
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Than, when she hardly started up her car's engine, I heard another pull up. The clicking sound of high heels weighed all the options. Than, Alexa walked through the door and I didn't know how to act and reminded myself that I wasn't suppose to know about her visit at Graeme's. 379Please respect copyright.PENANAU4woUERqmO
"Those must be for tonight?" I addressed her.379Please respect copyright.PENANA1RwXI1YdZf
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Alexa made little eye contact, she only sat next to me on the couch and reached into my bag of chips.379Please respect copyright.PENANAT8narg2Zzx
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"Yes." She said and reached for the remote than switched the channel.379Please respect copyright.PENANAp5VGaoGkue
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I took the remote back and turned the television off.379Please respect copyright.PENANAB41TZq94P2
She wasn't herself and I assumed it had something to do with her mom. The fact that I hadn't told Wiley anything made me feel bad, I knew how much he liked her and it was unfair to keep everything secrete, in order to not get caught -although he now also thought Jae and I to be secret lovers. He was approving but it didn't change the fact that I was betraying my own blood.379Please respect copyright.PENANAczVL5Mk2Vt
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"What's wrong?" I asked her.379Please respect copyright.PENANAFcxDRmJjL0
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"Nothing, school's stressing me out?"379Please respect copyright.PENANAh3CgabSzJB
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"School?" I raised an eyebrow. "We're friends, right? So tell me what's really stressing you out?" 379Please respect copyright.PENANA7yAAuBSshC
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Alexa sighed. "I was looking for you yesterday but I couldn't find you."379Please respect copyright.PENANAd0zgI3r3Bw
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I blushed and she only smiled at the sight because she assumed it was because of Jae Starling. "My mom's back." 379Please respect copyright.PENANA9gSLJK9CPK
She stopped munching on the chips, I knew it was because she tried to hide her perplexity. I could tell it really bothered her.379Please respect copyright.PENANACgMs3MzbEr
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"What happened between you guys?"379Please respect copyright.PENANAmtL8dsv8Op
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Alexa was caught off guard. "She left, what else needed to happen?"379Please respect copyright.PENANA1xU3Pw3AIm
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"I know how complicated the world can be, trust me. If you're not comfortable don't tell me but when you're ready to talk, I'm here. You don't have to worry about me telling everything to Wiley, because I would never."379Please respect copyright.PENANAAztUixPDgF
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"My mom wasn't in all those places, I lied -she never made it farther than Greenwich Correctional Prison."379Please respect copyright.PENANAL680H2vgPG
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I was shocked by Alexa's sudden confession.379Please respect copyright.PENANABjAXnmpGu4
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"I don't care if your mom went to prison Alexa, your my friend because I like that you're not about the typical Bloomfield scene." I told her.379Please respect copyright.PENANAHfaJgvVc37
"Wiley told me you found your bestfriend hang from a tree." She blasted it out in the open. It was something I'd rather to keep private, something I wanted absolutely no one to know. I knew the question that would follow next and expected it to hit me.379Please respect copyright.PENANArioXS6HB4r
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Instead of asking, What did it feel like seeing a dead person? She said, "Do you remember what it felt like, seeing someone you love, limp, gone?"379Please respect copyright.PENANAAgsjmLjqWE
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I did remember, so I nodded my head and felt a knot form in my throat. I suppressed my raging tears, all my secrets were slowly but surely starting to surface and I didn't know how I felt about that.379Please respect copyright.PENANA6gyLTUZA9V
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"I could probably explain in so much words how it must've felt to her." she continued, "Struggling, knowing in just a second, you'll be absolutely gone. I can't close my eyes without feeling my lungs tighten, shrinking all the oxygen out of it. I can't stand the thought of knowing that my mom stood beside him when he put a pillow over our heads and pushed, and pushed, and pushed until there was nothing left of him.379Please respect copyright.PENANAcOdxvPOfIR
She told us to just be good and he won't do it again. She didn't even notice that my little brother stopped moving, his six year old arms limp on the bed and his one finger twitched twice. I was twelve years old, it was the first time I'd seen a dead body, Zach's was the first funeral I'd been to in my entire life."379Please respect copyright.PENANAy57UX1pSeE
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She cried.379Please respect copyright.PENANAAX4VFhGIdX
I did too. I put my arms around her and cried as much as she did. In that moment, I knew I really couldn't tell my brother about the day before. I knew how much courage it must've took in order for her to entrust me with her secret.379Please respect copyright.PENANAcvLjBCYNX6
The image of my bestfriend Oakley James, played through my mind. Sad turned to angry as I remembered why. Barry Wiggins was behind it and no one except me knew of it. Than, like a typical teenager I thought of Graeme Yorkley, I couldn't wait to see him. I had so much to say now -it brought a weird, different feeling and I supposed it was the process of healing...379Please respect copyright.PENANAjricEzzvJV
Alexa broke away from our hug and continued to hold me at arm distance. She continued to look at me for a minute -I could feel my heart race at the thought of her finally mentioning something about Graeme and his brother's cabin. The thought of Alexa knowing, terrified me. The fact that I know why she went back to where she had buried her secrets, I understood.379Please respect copyright.PENANAE1KTHV3Sg4
"Also, there's something else..." She told me as my heart raced faster, "Kath said something to me the other day."379Please respect copyright.PENANAGZ2azZazAW
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Quiet Kath with the mean streak.379Please respect copyright.PENANAWa2WMpsdv3
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I didn't show any emotion of distress even though Barry Wiggins was a disturbing subject. Over the years, I had studied my own posture in case one of their names would emerge suddenly, a technique I could still master.379Please respect copyright.PENANAgtHpfPk3ZW
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"What did she say?" I calmly asked.379Please respect copyright.PENANAWp107EoErw
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"Just that you, Carissa and Stacey had this weird conspiracy about me. Trying to impress me or whatever."379Please respect copyright.PENANAfiv1YjZJSI
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Quiet Kath was slowly playing her mean cards against me and Alexa was oblivious.379Please respect copyright.PENANAT8kJr1sNn1
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I chuckled. "Do I look like someone who talks about you all the time or like the kind of person who'd rather spend her days alone rather than to sit amongst people who would talk about you all the time?" I asked her.379Please respect copyright.PENANA7meHQXS4q4
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"The second." She chuckled.379Please respect copyright.PENANAHvISborVB0
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Our eyes were red and we both laughed at the sight. "Friends are over rated, but I'd call you one." Said she.379Please respect copyright.PENANAi1ouWIJKAJ
I felt so guilty, I wasn't such a good friend after all and a worse sister at the mention. "In a world like ours, Alexa, it's way too cold to comfort the thought of friendship and naïve irrelevant wants." I said at the memory of the passing events and the building guilt of knowing I would continue to lie to my brother.379Please respect copyright.PENANAAZVRSbgouK
Than, just in time to save us from the conversation that would have probably surfaced, Wiley and Jae walked through our front door. Soon, all happy thoughts were gone and the tension in the room felt cluttered, all of us, as we stood there -all connected to Wiley. Wiley, whom came to all our aid, to whom all of us lied and no one had dared to say a thing.379Please respect copyright.PENANA1BTWdusQas
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"Can I talk to you for a second?" Alexa said standing up.379Please respect copyright.PENANAlBdPCq2Jo8
Wiley was clueless to everything and when she shot a look at me, I knew whatever had happened at Graeme's after I left, had persuaded her to open up to Wiley. Than, it dawned on me as they left the room, that Jae Starling and I were completely alone.379Please respect copyright.PENANAkyUGMIf7BJ
It was awkward, I must admit. The feeling I generated from Jae was one I couldn't forget at all but it didn't mean I intended on acting on it at all. Just like Graeme had been Alexa's secrets coffin, so had Jae unintentionally became mine.379Please respect copyright.PENANA9NC77ov0l1
He walked to the couch and seated himself next to me. I turned the TV on, moreover not having to talk to Jae. 379Please respect copyright.PENANA8czWnrqGt7
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"How's the ankle?" He asked.379Please respect copyright.PENANAiuuRuQi3zn
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"I've had worse pain." I said to him only than allowing myself to get a glimpse of him.379Please respect copyright.PENANAtfrmcnffef
Jae was tired, his eyes had dark circles around them, like he could fall asleep at any second. 379Please respect copyright.PENANAlKGtV1jIFB
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"Are you okay?" I asked him. "You seem very tired."379Please respect copyright.PENANAK0qWJtBApu
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Jae stiffened. "You don't have to do this, Kaye. I'm an easy explanation and so are you, lets not make this more than it is."379Please respect copyright.PENANAIiPcyzvA1D
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"What are you talking about Jae?" I asked genuinely puzzled.379Please respect copyright.PENANAkkHzYgAjgx
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"Lets not complicate everything by talking about things. Lets keep them as they are...at least I get to have some part of you."379Please respect copyright.PENANALLq5ySeHEs
I was stunned. Had Jae Starling felt something for me? Had he just somewhat confessed his true feelings? I wouldn't find out immediately, Alexa and Wiley joined us again but I couldn't stop thinking about what he had said and how I know I wouldn't trade my secret meetings with Graeme Yorkley for the bliss of an exclusive thing with Jae Starling. Although Jae had my back and despite me feeling such an mature attraction to him and all of his adventurous persona, I knew the chemistry I had with Graeme ran as deep as him changing the pessimist in me.379Please respect copyright.PENANAPk02T24Vrh
Graeme Yorkley didn't just see me, he saw through me.
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