You got to be honest with yourself: you’ve seen better days, girl. Insomnia was in the bed all night, leaving you with dark bags the makeup couldn’t fully cover. No matter how many times you run your hand through your hair, everyone can tell it’s a self-cut, an attempt to control the bedhead.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3oVGMyOM9 維尼

‘Who cares?’ You think with a grunt, putting the old, faded orange scissors back into the drawer beneath the sink. The hair cut, while a notably asymmetrical, didn’t look that bad. Hell, it could almost look like you actually do have your head screwed on straight!8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡpw3WvLhinB 維尼

And that’s what you want, of course. No one looks at or even thinks about the average, boring, sane kid. Except for your friends. The only good thing with school, really. Now, if only you didn’t live in the part of town where only one friend was close by and there was no bus route! Sucks to be you, huh?8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡLMN6YXDU1P 維尼

But the thought of them knowing how much it bothers you is a real punch to the pride guts, ain’t it? After all, they all come to you for their problems, so it’s only logical that you never even think about talking with them about your own!8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7gDt45PaE9 維尼

‘I don’t want to let them down.’ You stubbornly claim as you leave the car. Yes, because you dread the thought of even one of them saying ‘It’s better off this way’ and disappearing from your life entirely. You walk into the school building, avoiding eye contact with anyone who might be staring at you.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡvAlfMXuWts 維尼

~8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wyiuLwpOZ 維尼

“I don’t know, it’s just…” Tally chews her fry, trying to find the words. “I don’t think I could deal with moving to a new school, especially in the middle of the semester…” She sighs, other hand fiddling with her auburn bangs. Jeez, this whole moving situation is really beating her up.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡuhpNp7vU2R 維尼

“I know you aren’t the best at making friends, Tally.” You put on a smile for her. “But you’re a really neat person, alright? I know you’ll make it.” Better than you, that’s for sure.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡyuylrXY3wd 維尼

“I guess…” Her lips twitch to a small grin. “Well, thanks for listening. I don’t think I’ll find a better Mother Hen than you.” You roll your eyes while she throws out the empty box and exits the bathroom. You can’t say that this was the best place to have a girl talk, but it beats passing notes and getting caught by the teachers.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ApqQjOplu 維尼

Unlike you, however, she can at least afford to skip class, not that you care… Maybe this downward spiral you’ve yet to admit to yourself all started when your so-called ‘Greatest Boyfriend Ever’ emailed his friends those sexy pictures of you, who emailed them to everyone else. Then blamed you. Then broke up with you. Even some of the teachers still look at you like a walking sperm dumpster today, almost a whole school year later.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2e6m0xa3bj 維尼

Never mind that you twisted your foot because you can’t even properly jump off a building and die like a good, angsty teenager.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOR5qobgUF 維尼

“Yeah, that was stupid of me, but I moved on.” You said that aloud, idiot. Luckily, no one else is here.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oMFyO0Uql 維尼

You don’t think that you could ever forgive yourself for doing it, though. Face it, the only thing keeping you from trying it again – including having the stones to succeed – is your damn pride.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡkj4TCewybt 維尼

‘I know I’m not okay, right now.’8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVQ4zcTqDk 維尼

Gee, maybe if you tried harder to move on, instead of keeping all these thoughts here on the inside, you wouldn’t go wearing yourself out by the afternoon, huh?8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡwGvSu7VR73 維尼

~8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2wgZjP2lS 維尼

“hey, slut. Did you cut your hair when you fell from Heaven?” Is Josh trying to insult you, or flirt?8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡZGrfSaDCf6 維尼

“No.” You grin. “But I got some dirt under my nails when I crawled up from Hell.”8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCIiurorKl 維尼

Go ahead, keep up that smile, and pretend the thoughts that gush from your eyes before bed only stays in the night’s shade. Those random ideas about ingesting the mystery drugs Man and Dad keep in that special bathroom cabinet are just that! Random! Everyone gets them, right? Totally! Like how you’re totally fine!8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡORe126C2cZ 維尼

You. Delusional. Idiot.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡajDPodc20h 維尼

Sure, you say you’re being honest with yourself – THINK you’re being honest with yourself. But you don’t even know yourself! How can you be fine when you can’t even admit all of that!?8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2xKlyh4Iq 維尼

Smile, laugh, make the jokes! Right now, you cross your arms, a cute attempt to keep out any of your classmates from fishing out this hated neglect behind your cemented grin.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡepxE9nPlVv 維尼

~8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ozUw57mcG 維尼

“Well, I’m going now.” Tally says, releasing a deep exhale. “Thanks for your support. You really are a great friend.”8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4bojXYm5M 維尼

“Hey, it’s nothing. I’m glad I could help. Remember, you’re a really cool person, so I know you’ll do great at that other school, okay?”8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SVHnw1TGc 維尼

You both shook hands for the last time. She squeezed into the backseat of the car, which sped away.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡts8xCjurxW 維尼

Now you have no one you could possibly trust to talk to.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfB4y08ofV 維尼

“It’s gonna be fine.”8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡQZ4IjiGW2G 維尼

Take a good hard look!8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡdZdcIYlA9X 維尼

Face it! This isn’t even about those stupid sexy pictures, or half the school still mentally labeling you as a Slut. You come across as SO mature, with your head screwed nicely on these man-shoulders, and a supposedly better sense of self-awareness, don’t you!? Too bad you’re just tearing yourself apart on the inside like this! Like a stiff trying to pass a torn up book as specially old and ancient!8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVbjOHom1Z 維尼

~8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡXt6TkC1NgX 維尼

“Hey, it’s me! How is everything?” Tally’s voice sings from your phone.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3OhSbNG0V 維尼

“I’m okay.” You say, twirling the scissors in the bathroom. Because a little more off the right side is going to make you feel better today!8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bFYo3BZBX 維尼

“You sure? I didn’t say anything before, but I was worried about you.” Not fine, please hel-8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvDCDR7LM4 維尼

“I’m okay!” You ignore the chunks of brown hair in the sink.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6aL3WPWY0 維尼

“You sure you’re still not hu-“8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡ763CItUIYx 維尼

“Really, I’m okay. Yeah, people still look at me weird, but whatever. I’m okay, trust me.” You hang up.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡegc15ac7wP 維尼

Then punch the fucking mirror! Because you finally realize that cutting your hair until you’re bald, smiling until your cheeks hurt, and burying all this negative shit is NOT WORKING!8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3HC09Zt9H 維尼

You sink to the floor in the Fidel Position, shaking as the tears finally fell.8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHO9UsWiso 維尼

Please… Just say it… Stop neglecting all of you… Please…8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡ85Bxo2FV1i 維尼

“I’m not okay.”8964 copyright protection477ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBYBLrDwNp 維尼

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