人們經常說我什麼都怯,什麼都不敢嘗試;638Please respect copyright.PENANA8GikxeglKg
害怕面對新的環境,害怕結識新的朋友。638Please respect copyright.PENANAdf3jR319dH
我怕,只是為了保障自己和其他人不會受到傷害;638Please respect copyright.PENANAwGrwbyp47O
哪怕我一下無意的舉動,都會殺個別人措手不及。638Please respect copyright.PENANAvEP8liNvzD
亦有人說你都還未試過,你又怎會知道會否成功。638Please respect copyright.PENANAs7yXnm4RHs
但卻正是因為我嘗試過,才令我更加的怕;638Please respect copyright.PENANASqF6UpWC2Z
更加的怕我會無意傷害到她,更加的怕別人不會接受到我。638Please respect copyright.PENANAZWnRgQNG6e
那一次嘗試,就是我的初戀。
聽說,學校是戀愛的溫床。638Please respect copyright.PENANA0mLbGoxfS6
很多在學校談過戀愛的,後來都會大有發展。638Please respect copyright.PENANASMIBuMmoMU
但唯獨我,因為初戀使戀愛成為禁忌。638Please respect copyright.PENANACE9fKDwKMY
那人是誰?一位由中一至中五的同班同學——婷。638Please respect copyright.PENANA8MX7MBIFcs
我愛上她不只因為外表,而是她的性格。638Please respect copyright.PENANAOZUxGuGDHs
那是我或她遇到什麼不愉快或不開心的事情,都會跟他一起談心。638Please respect copyright.PENANAZ13J0sA1PA
功課遇到什麼難題,我們都曾一同解決。638Please respect copyright.PENANAIsKfC6xeSb
就是經過幾年初中生活的薰陶,我就漸漸愛上她。
終於,就在一次自修時,我跟她示愛。638Please respect copyright.PENANAsqitpYfT40
她突然不知怎樣去反應,呆了一呆;638Please respect copyright.PENANAQpg6uxMcfQ
然後就像答應我一般點了頭,但她的表情卻是不知所措。638Please respect copyright.PENANAJAAZMTQ5LK
那時的我就當作她默認了,便「唔」了一聲作回應。638Please respect copyright.PENANAwgloBfypTF
她像沒聽到似的,繼續發呆沉思。638Please respect copyright.PENANAmNPmaPZhKb
也許她還未準備好談戀愛,就被我二話不說的拉進了來。638Please respect copyright.PENANAuJcGwCvtrg
現在回想起來,還是覺得自己很過分。
雖然說我們在戀愛中,卻和平日沒兩樣。638Please respect copyright.PENANAgnq8cQz5JL
照樣的談心事,同樣的溫習考試。638Please respect copyright.PENANAPuKhI5ZnBT
那時的我卻覺得無比開心,以為這就是談戀愛。638Please respect copyright.PENANAz0UWDxOBDn
還自以為得意的拖手,做些過分行為。638Please respect copyright.PENANAuDDTffEmxV
然而,原來她在我背後已另有其人。
一個下雨天,我照常地跟她一起放學。638Please respect copyright.PENANApvSM3eDFD0
當我打算跟她拖手時,她突然停下了腳步;638Please respect copyright.PENANAcj4oAc4krv
滿面愁容地跟我說:「不如⋯我哋分⋯⋯絕交啦?」638Please respect copyright.PENANA7dw4xggG3y
我愕然地跟她說:「點解呀?⋯你係咪有啲心事屈係個心?」638Please respect copyright.PENANAArfhPYE2nS
「唔係啊唔關事啊⋯其實係因為你」638Please respect copyright.PENANAoZgbMEosMy
「我⋯?我做錯咗啲咩⋯⋯?」638Please respect copyright.PENANAY1o5P8KGCD
「我身邊啲朋友都笑我,笑同我個毒男一齊拍拖,仲同我講:『呢件咁嘅嘢你都啃得落?』」638Please respect copyright.PENANAWOjh666wSY
「佢哋講笑咋⋯⋯唔使理佢哋嘅⋯⋯」638Please respect copyright.PENANAklVgRm49WB
「講笑?依家唔好話男朋友啦,我連其他男同學都識唔到個啊!都係因為你!」638Please respect copyright.PENANAMQNcgg7ZEV
「對對⋯⋯對唔住呀!我都唔想呀,我又唔知道⋯⋯」638Please respect copyright.PENANAYkLTd6X6f6
「夠啦!我唔想再聽到你講廢話!由今日開始我地再無任何關係!」638Please respect copyright.PENANAV3Lm4jjMBd
說完,她連同我的傘帶走;638Please respect copyright.PENANAaxiam7WIZA
剩下我一個在路中心淋雨。
其後幾個月的晚上,我開始失眠。638Please respect copyright.PENANAL8aNb9A3Ci
不是想我做錯了什麼,而是想我一直以來到底傷害了多少人。638Please respect copyright.PENANA6hM3dbWZYa
結果用了好幾個月的晚上,都想不透。638Please respect copyright.PENANAYkWSnQtS0i
不知道傷害了多少人,更不知道怎樣才能避免。638Please respect copyright.PENANACQCppVE01Z
於是我就只懂得怯,希望能夠逃避問題。638Please respect copyright.PENANAVQkN0BA3C9
缺少了婷的交心,我變得更加迷惘。638Please respect copyright.PENANA2WXmqNpTkb
於是,我利用那唯一的途徑交心——互聯網。
跟婷絕交後,我的成績一落千丈。638Please respect copyright.PENANALKrjv9Nbg7
學校裏朋友亦不多,做什麼事也不太成功。638Please respect copyright.PENANATLk3XmJ1Xj
於是我決定在網上交友,至少也能交到個知心好友。638Please respect copyright.PENANApgpT2Nqylk
中五那年,我就應識了另一個她——Peggy。638Please respect copyright.PENANAyRhRBQQ3zY
初時,只是在一個交友群組裏面認識。638Please respect copyright.PENANA1CgBjMoLlO
慢慢發現大家有共同興趣,便開始聊起個人心事。638Please respect copyright.PENANAIkNnNLa9tH
就是這樣,一段網戀開始了。
由於雙方都沒有自己樣子的頭像,所以大家只能從文字中瞭解對方的性格。638Please respect copyright.PENANAAF3ITHAbeX
正就是這樣,我們談開始戀愛。638Please respect copyright.PENANAkCkMo26Yvq
不止在Facebook中互加對方作情侶,還一起玩些網路遊戲。638Please respect copyright.PENANAmvhpwMGQFp
大家還試過互傳一些肉麻對話,就像喝醉一般。638Please respect copyright.PENANAJCl1THAHZD
我和她還通過無數次電話,就像我們是真正的伴侶一般。638Please respect copyright.PENANAYsMTeN6SmL
問過大家的出生日期,知道大家的童年經歷。638Please respect copyright.PENANALk7G38MabA
見不到對方的真面目,反而才令我更加安心。
但直到有一天,她要求我去一次約會。638Please respect copyright.PENANAxCWJVJBXH1
她說,經過這麼多年,很想跟我去一次約會。638Please respect copyright.PENANAylfrgSYR3x
「我都付出左我嘅初戀俾你,你可唔可以陪我出一次街咁簡單?」638Please respect copyright.PENANAD6YVYjvQsk
「我真的真的很想看見你的真面目」638Please respect copyright.PENANAVA93Vf7pqw
「點解次次我話想約你,你都同我講你唔得閑?」638Please respect copyright.PENANATixDtGqqGO
我真的答不了她,唯有每次都說我很忙碌。638Please respect copyright.PENANAkfaPkyWU91
我很害怕,很怕我又會傷害多一次別人。638Please respect copyright.PENANASK1kGLcfLW
要到底怎樣,才能避免這浩劫?638Please respect copyright.PENANAAREgXkHkqM
難道要蒙着面出外?又不是參與什麼遊行示威。638Please respect copyright.PENANAo9RIxNzcGX
但又不可能跟她分手,始終我真的很愛她。
「我警告你吖,如果你今日下晝兩點旺角恒生冇出現嘅話,我真係unfriend你架!」638Please respect copyright.PENANApLF4ICGVXf
如今已經沒辦法再逃避,唯有硬着臉的面對。638Please respect copyright.PENANAZqgoH5YyNB
我把衣櫃找了好幾遍,才能找到比較合適的衣服。638Please respect copyright.PENANArEya9mSjLj
還故意把擦得比平時更白,還用漱口水漱口了好幾遍;638Please respect copyright.PENANAQilbs82lZs
久違的口臭完全消失,已經保證萬無一失。638Please respect copyright.PENANAS2bNp3T3Aa
做盡了一切措施,終於要出門。
「準時兩點正,我已經到咗啦!」638Please respect copyright.PENANAqBjyOiHg5z
我就在恒生銀行門口,傳個訊息給她。638Please respect copyright.PENANAGVC6x9nSwW
畫面顯示着藍雙剔,但她卻久久未見人。638Please respect copyright.PENANAxzk30AJL9w
然後我再問了她是不想我來錯了銀行,卻再也看不到藍剔。638Please respect copyright.PENANAieo5nQ45TD
上面明明寫着「在線上」,卻像人間蒸發般再也找不到她。638Please respect copyright.PENANAbz7RmlE6kc
我站在那個銀行門口,然後又走到對面那銀行;638Please respect copyright.PENANAZAF6ykFlof
由兩點等到六點,始終還是看不見她的蹤影。638Please respect copyright.PENANABxQTVXwwrq
過程亦沒有任何一人跟我相認,我就像瘋子般逛來逛去。638Please respect copyright.PENANAhDLmxFjzCq
但是最後,還是失望而回。
「⋯⋯你仲喺唔喺度?」638Please respect copyright.PENANA5h6fIVpC8l
一日又一日的過去,她最後那短信息還是叫我出外的那段。638Please respect copyright.PENANAHdhZZhboss
她的Facebook封鎖了我,她的電話再也打不通。638Please respect copyright.PENANATVdZVPJQOo
她的一切恍似就停留在那一刻,無論我送多少一發訊息給她;638Please respect copyright.PENANAESn7YwtCaL
還是跟他道歉,她還是照舊不理我。638Please respect copyright.PENANAdpLCDwdfoz
失眠期間,我又想到為何她當天沒出現。638Please respect copyright.PENANA5Aq0LxeKov
或許她早已出現,但就是因為我的出現;638Please respect copyright.PENANAzFrNX6RJ8z
她就完全消失,就像從沒出現過。
現在想回來,或許這一切都只是願者上釣。638Please respect copyright.PENANAn8NZGwV3tS
或者她根本沒真心愛上我,只是我一個自作多情。638Please respect copyright.PENANAUpxeahCeHC
但也可能她的初戀真的給了個毒男,就這樣傷害了一個少女。638Please respect copyright.PENANA5rcKcYpwZE
或許她那天是哭着回去的,就是被她的好奇心弄死。638Please respect copyright.PENANAi0ovH4WzCI
或許她還未準備好愛我,承受不了這好奇。
或許她還愛着我,還未接受到我的美。
638Please respect copyright.PENANAcjIc5rjDAG
638Please respect copyright.PENANA06IT6ADWXj
638Please respect copyright.PENANASQJdO4tj4K